Fate Finality
by Undying Soul98
Summary: A common piece of Wish Fulfilment: the Self Insert. Now with Seven Waifus in the form of Servants, thrust into a Death Battle extravaganza with arguably higher stakes than any of the former Fuyuki Wars, and left to deal with the fact that this war WOULD end with at least two thirds of the whole cast dead.
1. Chapter 1

**Fate Finality**

 **AN- once upon a time I wrote a snippet for a potential SI set during the Fifth Holy Grail War. It was meant to be a non-serious writing project- no stress nor care for quality. Purely for fun. I posted on SB and SV... and now 98K words in its a project a little more serious than I had ever expected. So yeah- Congratulations! Rejoice, for Fate Finality is being ported to the system. Yay?**

 **Chapter 1**

I knew from the moment I awoke, that something was wrong. The ceiling I blinked through half shut eyes was abnormal; the noise of my surroundings different to normal; and my sheets of a different type to that I was used to.

"What the hell?" I murmured, hastily removing my arm from the covers to wipe away at my eyes. Hastily, I tried to think back to the last thing I remembered, and found that I couldn't remember the last evening. I couldn't recall when or where I fell asleep, only that my day had been progressing as normal, and then…

Nothing. A headache, and a mild migraine.

"Welp, let's see exactly where I've found myself then?"

So, I stumbled out of bed, and took in my surroundings a little more. I was in a hotel room- I was pretty sure of that. The room had a very impersonal feel to it- white and neutral, with inoffensive basic decoration. Only a single double bed, and a desk to one side. A door led outside, though it wasn't the door to the corridor, as there was no lock signifying it as the 'front' door.

"If I'm in a hotel room, then why am I here?"

I went over to the desk- perhaps it held answers. Atop it, I saw an envelope with my name across it. I took the cue for what it was, and quite tore it open- ruining it in the process (Because it's literally impossible to open an envelope without destroying it, nowadays). Within were documents: a birth certificate (With blatantly wrong details), my medial history (Successfully up to date), bank statements for places I never remember registering at and finally a letter of introduction welcoming me to a new school.

The last one was the interesting thing- because I had already finished my highschool education, so I had no actual reason to have accidentally enrolled myself at one. Sure, the others were just as suspicious, but for the life of me I just couldn't understand the latter. Hell, I had to wonder why someone else, the person that brought me here, had bothered to enrol me at a _school_.

Besides which, where the hell was Homuhara Academy meant to be? And why did it sound familiar to me?

"Fuck it all- this situation makes no sense at all." I groaned, collapsing back onto the bed. I looked back to the letter, and the instructions written upon it, demanding I visit the faculty office and register myself for classes.

The question was whether I was going to follow through, if only to see if I could get some answers about what this bizarre situation I was going through actually was, or if I was just going to find the closest phone and ring a friend up for a lift home. There was no reason for me to _have to_ play along with this whole mess. I was a uni student- I had actual lectures to attend, and not the false classes of this academy I was clearly being gestured towards.

"What time is it anyway?"

Answer- half nine. The letter itself asked for my presence by half ten at the very latest, but I just wasn't feeling it. I was kinda leaning towards 'skip' at this point.

That was when I heard a knocking sound at a door. Not the one for this room- further away. I left the room, entering into a moderate living room with television and sofa, and a kitchen unit to the side. Alongside there was the main door, where I heard the knocking repeat,

"Uh- yes?" I called out.

"Room service!" The voice replied. "You asked for a half nine wake-up, with breakfast and the paper."

"I did?" I didn't remember doing so, that was for sure.

"Yes." The voice reiterated.

I checked myself over- I was still in my pyjama's, but I was hardly indecent. With that, I unlocked the door and let in the staff member. He approached with a metal tray stacked with my 'order', placed it on the kitchen-top, then left the room with a pleasant bow and farewell.

The breakfast itself was a traditional English, and I was hungry, so I sat down and tucked in with vigour. By the time I was halfway through my bacon and eggs, I reached for the folded-up paper that had been provided with the meal. I honestly didn't read the news as often as I should have, so taking a brief look over the rest of my meal seemed like a decent idea.

When I read the name of the paper, I almost spat out my half-chewed mouthful.

 **The Fuyuki Press**

Fuyuki- now _that_ was a city I knew, or at least had heard in the past. I considered the likelihood of this being a dream- but since you can't read properly when dreaming, I discounted that. No- this wasn't a dream.

I was in Fuyuki City, according to the paper, and was enrolled at Homuhara Academy. And this was in _Japan_ , because I had suddenly realised that all the items I'd read today hadn't actually been in English, but that I had somehow learned a new language overnight and hadn't even realised the difference.

This scenario was strange. I woke up in a hotel room I never booked, with documents I never filled in, with no memory of how I got there. I have somehow _magically_ learned a new language, and have noted the uncanny familiarity of these names.

Mind you, there was a slim chance that these were all coincidences, or I was insane, or still dreaming somehow. Either way- there was a good eighty percent chance that the idea I was considering was correct, no matter how ridiculous or unreal it seemed.

I, James Branson, was not just in an unfamiliar city. Instead, I had probably (Though hopefully not) been dropped into another world entirely. A world of Magic and mystery, where there were far too many overpowered people.

The Nasuverse. I was stuck in the Nasuverse, in Fuyuki City, and was probably enrolled for _just before_ the Holy Grail War would begin, because naturally my luck could only be that bad.

"Fuck. My. Life." I groaned, before sparking to action. I had a sudden feeling of urgency within me- a desperate need to _move_. Sure, I was _probably_ stuck in a city on the verge of war, and enrolled at a school likely to become a warzone… but who said I had to _stay here_.

I'd been given a bank statement, ergo I had a bank account, therefore money. Hell, even if it was a really small fund, it was better than nothing.

"Hah- I'm getting the fuck out of dodge."

With that, I changed into the only clean set of clothes in the room (A school uniform), and carefully collected all my documents. I was gonna take some money out of the bank, and then I was going to _get the hell out of Fuyuki_ , as quickly as I could.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Don't curse me, curse your bad luck." The provocative women with violet hair told me sadly, as she prepared to devour me whole.

"Fuuuuuck." I hissed. It was just my bad luck that on the walk up to the train station I'd take a wrong turn down a dead-end alleyway and stumble into the Servant Rider, Medusa, looking for a quick Prana snack. "Don't suppose you could let me go, and we could both go merrily along our way?"

The Gorgon said nothing- I was surprised she hadn't already murdered me already, actually, considering her inhuman speed. Perhaps she was humouring me?

"Figured so." And then I threw a nearby trash can lid at the woman, and tried to sprint past her. My feeble attempt at an attack was cut in half with her bare hands, and then she lashed out like a snake, pinning me against the wall with a loud thud- hard enough for blood to be drawn as I skidded against the surface.

I was terrified. Pants shittingly terrified. I didn't want any part in the Grail War- not really. I hadn't expected to be a Self Insert, and didn't want to get involved at all- _because I would die_. I had no illusions about myself- I had no magical training and no Servant. Why the hell would I want to get involved in a scenario like this, when I could just leave and escape the danger altogether?

Except danger followed me, and I was currently mixed up in events anyway.

Either way- I was going to die. I was going to be murdered, my soul drained for energy, and my body discarded when it had no more purpose. I was gonna die!

 _And I didn't want to die._

A flash of red- a gleaming, almost searing light that blinded me. Rider reacted to the light too- releasing me and leaping back to dodge the blade that was almost shoved through her neck. By this point, I had fallen to the floor and was clutching my bruised throat with one hand, looking on in awe as a Deus Ex Machina took place to deliver me from danger.

Before me stood my saviour- a proud woman with short red hair, armed with shield and sword, and dressed in little else. She wore a long-sleeved shirt with everything missing from the bust downwards, while her lower body was covered by long boots and topped off with panties. I might have blushed at her beauty if I wasn't, y'know, _one bad move away from certain death_.

The redhead moved faster than I could perceive, and aimed to cut down the Servant that stood before her. Medusa was faster that the newcomer, and was easily able to jump backwards out of reach of the swing. She was even able to dodge the barrage of glowing mana bullets that fired from my saviours blade as she swung downwards in a clear arc.

There was a lull in the action, a momentary pause as the two fighters sized each other up (With myself, still splayed against the wall). I knew any second the two would come to blows again, and would fight until one died.

And then the moment ended. With hesitation, Medusa dipped her head, then vanished into particles of light- she entered into her Astral form, and fled the field of battle.

" _Makes sense. Since she needed to harvest stray souls for power, I'd assume that she is still under the false control of Shinji Matou. Thus, her true stats are lowered. Plus, Shinji was still at school. She hadn't expected this fight- had only really been looking for a meal. Better to retreat and return under better circumstances."_

"Whooo- I'm glad that I managed to fight her off." The woman cheerfully exclaimed, vanishing her blade as she turned back to me. "It was lucky that you summoned me, otherwise you would have been a goner."

"You don't say." I grumbled, rising to my feet. "To be honest, I hadn't expected to be drawn into the Holy Grail War. Hell, I was leaving specifically so I wouldn't."

At this, she frowned slightly. "Then I'm sorry that you _have_ been pulled in then, though I am glad to have saved your life."

Speaking of which… "Oh yeah! Thanks for saving me back then, by the way. Saber, I assume?"

Most of the players were already here and summoned- I think the only two free slots that I could feasibly summon from would be taking Caster's Assassin, or usurping Shirou and claiming a Saber. And this beautiful redhead did _not_ look the part of an Assassin.

"Fufufu. Sorry, I am Servant Rider." She introduced herself, bowing slightly. "I ask of you, are you my Master?"

Rider. She's a Rider. Except that we already HAVE a Rider. "Motherfucker." I hissed.

She arched an eyebrow. Dangerously so. " _Excuse me_?"

"Nonononono!" I protested, waving my arms. "I was talking to myself, not you. Realised something. We're pretty fucked."

"How so, Master?" She titled her head cutely.

"Well, if I'm not mistaken, the Servant you faced WAS Servant Rider." I said.

"How sure are you?"

"Eighty percent sure she's a Rider." I mean, this COULD be a freaky AU where she was a Lancer or something, but I doubted it. "So, either I'm wrong, or we're in for a whole 'nother level of fucked."

"Have no fear. I cannot promise you Victory, but I _will_ protect you." She vowed confidently. "Perhaps you should explain?"

"My guess is that either I accidentally summoned an Eighth Servant, resulting in there being two Servants of the same class, or this is a goddamn _Apocrypha_ scenario."

A finger came to her chin in confusion. "I'm sorry, but I don't understand what the latter term is."

"It's failsafe of the Grail War that kicks in if someone fucks with the Grail System." I hurriedly explained, my mind already elsewhere and considering the consequences of if it WAS an Apocrypha. "Basically, a scenario where instead of the standard seven Servants, fourteen duke it out instead."

"I suppose that is quite dangerous. Twice as many enemies to deal with." She contemplated. I debated explaining further, in that there was still technically only seven enemies as it was a team game, and that the real risk to me there would be that at least half (If not more) of the combatants would be unknown to me, rendering my Self Insert knowledge largely useless, but I decided against it. I lacked _information_. I didn't know if this was the canon War or not, or what my role here was, or why.

For now, my priority was getting to safety, and maybe escaping from this mess unharmed. I mean, if Rider really wanted the Grail, perhaps I could head out of town and just let her fight alone? I mean really, just how much damage could single butterfly cause? Maybe Shirou would still get lucky and stop the incoming apocalypse? (Unlikely, because he's a useless mess nine times out of ten if all his Dead Ends are evidence, but still).

Then, I looked down to the aching, bleeding hand that had formerly been pressed against my throat.

Or more accurately, what was atop it.

"Shit!" I cursed, not even trying to hide my distress. I approached a nearby trash can and kicked it hard- not even minding the pain.

"Master!" Rider exclaimed, rushing over to me with worry in your tone. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"No. I'm not." I said, my voice shaking. Without another word, I displayed my hand to her- or more accurately, I removed my school blazer and pulled up my shirt, to display my arm.

Because along it there were not the standard three Command Seals.

Sure, there _was_ a set of Command Seals on the back of my hand: three crossed blades of crimson. But it wasn't alone. Two more sets of Seals ran along my forearm and another two were on my upper arm. By pulling my shirt across more, I could see a sixth set of Seals on my shoulder, and a final set at the base of my neck.

Seven. I had SEVEN sets of Command Seals.

I think even Rider understood just what had gotten me so upset. "Oh, fuck." She eloquently, put it.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN- and thus the Trash is continued. I have Trash for days, son…**

 **Chapter 2**

We were back at my hotel room now. The two of us were still a little shocked from the Command Seal revelation, so it had been a unanimous decision to get me back to somewhere a little more familiar so we could talk properly. At my insistence and her grudging acceptance, Rider had manifested more clothing to cover her almost scandalous appearance (A cloak, skirt and the rest of that dang shirt she'd been missing). Turns out she preferred to fight with 'as little as possible getting in the way', but personally I just thought that Kinoku Nasu had an aversion to having any female characters that _weren't_ Top Waifu material.

She still looked like a rogue cosplayer, but at least she was a bit more covered up.

So here we were- Rider sat on the bed, and me at the desk, with the provided kettle boiling tea for the complementary tea that hotels _always_ provided.

"Well, this sucks." I began, ending the long silence between us. Clearly, I'd done something right, as Rider held back a chortle, and agreed with my summation. "I mean, I don't even know where to begin."

"Perhaps we should start with introductions." Rider suggested, then pressed on. "I am Servant Rider, but my true name is Boudica. You can call me Ms Boudica, if that is what you prefer."

"I'll stick to just Boudica." I replied. The name itself was unfamiliar- she hadn't appeared in most of the Fate content that I knew about. Not Stay Night, Zero, or Apocrypha, so I had to assume she was either from Grand Order or an original character. Either way, her identity meant nothing to me. "A-anyway, my name is James Branson, and I have literally no clue what I'm doing right now."

Again, she giggled. "Fufufu. It's nice to meet you. Now, with that out the way, I think we should get right to it."

"Aye. The elephant in the room." The Command Seals. If you looked at me closely and knew what to look for, they were quite easy to spot. The blades stood out on my hand, while the red of the seal on my neck could be seen poking out of the corner of my blazer. "Long story short, I have no clue why I have so many Command Seals. I woke up today with none, tried to leave Fuyuki but got attacked on the way out, and then they showed up."

"That was bad luck, but not exactly unexpected." Rider- no, _Boudica_ \- pointed out. "I could tell that the other Rider was only attacking you for your Prana. A ghastly practice, but she would have been a fool not to single you out of the crowd if that was her intent."

"And why's that?" I asked, eyebrow pointed.

"Oh, the ridiculous amount of magical energy you are radiating, or course."

I blinked. "The _what_? Magical energy?"

"Oh yes." She nodded her head contentedly. "Your Mana production is _ridiculous_. I barely feel any strain at all in manifesting and fighting. I could almost say that you might just be able to fuel all the Servants those Command Seals promise you have the chance of summoning."

"But _that's impossible_." I groaned. "I have no magical training- no background at all, in fact. I haven't even opened my Magic Circuits! I didn't think I even had any!"

"Well, it seems you do. The term the Grail seems to be feeding me is 'Magic Core'."

A Magic Core- whereas normal Circuits are like a machine that produces Prana, a Magic Core is more akin to a _factory_ by comparison. The only person I could remember possessing one of those was literally _King Arthur herself._

I gave her my best deadpan glare. "I think the idea that I, of all people, _somehow_ has a Magic Core is preposterous."

She smiled teasingly. "Believe me or not, it's true."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay. I have no way of proving or disproving that statement, so I'll just accept it as truth for now and move on, since this mess is already pretty ridiculous."

She didn't dispute that. "What now?"

"I don't know." I told her. "As I said, I wanted to escape from the War without getting involved. Sure, if someone gave me a magic wishing cup, I could probably make a wish," namely, to go home, or maybe to gain control of the Second True Magic, perhaps. "but I didn't exactly plan this. I have a whole fuck tonne of Command Seals, which suggest I can summon up to Seven Servants total, but I still don't know if I even want to try and fight in this war anyway."

Boudica rose from the bed and approached me, then she patted me on the head and ruffled my hair affectionately- almost like an elder sibling would do to the younger. "Relax." She teased. "I don't much expect you to know what you want. If at the end of the day you do decide to drop out, then that's fine. Big Sis can fight on her own."

"Who says I get a choice though." I pointed out, raising my hand pointing to it. "I have seven sets. They are here for a reason, I'm sure they'll end up being used eventually, one way or another. I just… _I don't know_."

That is the crux of my problem, I believe. I don't know. Why I have the Seals. What type of war this is. If it's even worth fighting to begin with, and whether All the World's Evils rests in the Grail or not.

I just don't know.

"Then _find out_." Boudica suggests. "Isn't there an impartial moderator to the Holy Grail War? Why not go talk to him, and find out if this is an Apocrypha or whatever you said it was before."

"I wouldn't say _impartial_ …" I noted, but I took in her suggestion all the same. It was a bad option, but it certainly _was_ an option. Kotomine Kirei may have been a sneaky bastard, but for the most part, he did his job. If I went there for answers, then as a Master, he would be bound to answer me. Sure, he likely had Lancer in the wings and _Gilgamesh_ skulking about, but I doubted he'd call upon them.

More likely, he'd let me go if only for the chaos that I could bring. Kotomine was a playwright seeking to make the Fifth War as despair inducing as possible, and hopefully allow Angra Mainyu to be brought into this world- my addition only added more 'actors' to the play.

The question was whether the risk was worth it.

Afterall, I could always go track down Rin instead. But then again, just how likely was she to know all the details? Kotomine was the most knowledgeable man concerning the Grail War due to his role as moderator.

And so, I made my decision. "Okay. We're gonna go see a priest. And you're gonna stand between us at all times, because _holy shit_ , that man is terrifying."

XXXXXXXXXX

It was after midday by the time we stumbled into Kotomine Church. We were both strangers to Fuyuki, and it showed- we got lost, oh so lost. We literally had to stop for a lunch break, between us leaving the hotel and finding the church.

"Oh my, some lost sheep have come seeking guidance. How interesting." The man noted, with a knowing smile as he took in the two of us- more accurately, the Seal upon my hand and the Servant beside me.

"Hi!" I greeted. "I'd like to have a private chat, if that's okay with you."

Kotomine apologised to the few Christian patrons presently in the church, but dutifully led us into a backroom, where he provided tea and biscuits.

"Okay, let's cut straight to the point." I said, not even engaging in the smallest of small talk before pressing onto the meat of the argument. "I'm here because I am a Master. However, events have led me to think that I don't quite have the full picture."

"How so?" Kotomine replied. "I sensed the summoning earlier today. The Seventh Servant has been summoned. I do not see what the issue is."

"This." I said. Then, I shrugged off the jacket and rolled up my shirt to reveal the excess of Command Seals.

"Oh my." Kotomine remarked, genuine surprise in his eyes.

"Do you know anything about _this_." I gestured. "I didn't want in on the War, but I know about it. And there is no reason for me to have this many Seals."

"Surprisingly… I don't _actually_ know anything about this." He told me, with real happiness. "Truly, this is a surprise. Rejoice, unknown Master, for a miracle has befallen you than none other have had the pleasure of enjoying."

"Mother of-" Boudica growled, before cutting herself off. "Look, do you _know_ anything or not?"

"The Grail System underwent a large energy surge earlier on, but I attributed it to a particularly strong Servant being summoned." He admitted. "At this point, I cannot predict anything. What I _can_ say, is that those Command Seals are individually distinct. Three Seals are given to a Master, to accompany one Servant. Those are not excess Seals for your present Servant. They are separate sets- each one is _definitely_ tied to its own Servant. This War will include _at least_ fourteen Servants, it seems."

Oh- I saw what you did there, you sneaky cheat with your bullshit Gilgamesh! Fourteen due to the original seven plus seven new one, yet also fourteen due to my seven, the present six (As Shirou has yet to summon Saber) plus the extra Servant from the _last_ war!

"Do I have to Summon them?" I finally asked. "Initially, I had no intention of joining the War. If I left Fuyuki, would any more Servants be summoned?"

"Young man, once you are a Master, _you are a Master_. The Grail has already committed to the summoning of the six other Servants coupled to your Command Seals. It is merely waiting for you to do so. If you do not, then it will find opportunities of its own to call them. Those summons _will_ happen, one way or another, whether you like it or not."

That hit me like a suckerpunch. I couldn't run away. The Servants were going to be Summoned, one way or another.

"You do not _have_ to take part, though." Kotomine reminded me. "You can give up your Seals to me and forfeit the war."

" _And give YOU an extra six Servants to play around with? Fuck off."_

"That isn't an option." I said, quietly. Boudica perhaps sensed my distress, so she offered me a small smile. "I'm going to fight." I decided. "I don't know what wish I would even want, but it's going to happen, one way or another. I can't really run away." Not only would the War follow me, but there was also the whole 'end of the world' problem too. In an AU situation like this, where I've already fucked things up by summoning Rider, can I necessarily guarantee that the War will reach a satisfying conclusion?

I'm no goody two shooed, do-gooder, but I _do_ care if the world I'm presently living in is a horrific hellscape or not. Angra Manyu breaking free would be good to absolutely nobody. Until I confirmed the status of the Grail and ensured that one of the few good people in the War was going to get the wish, I couldn't leave it be.

It was dumb. Immensely so. But I was going to have to see this through. But hey, at least I'd have _seven_ Servants on my side, if I played my cards right.

"Are you certain?" He asked, seeking clarification. To my side, I saw Boudica gaze at me intently too. She was here to win the War as well. She wanted to know if her Master was going to stick with her or abandon her.

"Yes." I said, though I wasn't nearly as resolute as I wish I was. "I will be the Eighth Master in the Holy Grail War."

"Excellent." He told me, with a little chuckle. "May I have your name?"

"… James Branson." I told him, hesitantly.

"Well then, James, I wish you the best of luck. Oh! And one last thing!" Kotomine said, suddenly, as if it just came to him.

"Yes?"

"Be _careful_." He warned me. "The Holy Grail War was designed with only seven competitors in mind. Saber has yet to be summoned, and you are an outlier. At its core, the Heavens Feel is a fair ritual. I doubt the Grail will be satisfied with your presence as it is, though it has clearly accepted your presence even so. So be careful, for I feel that you won't be the only 'curveball' in this War."

Now that was a worrisome point, though true. I had confirmed some things, but so much was still unknown. This was no normal war, and I needed to prepare for that.

"Oh! One last thing." I snapped my fingers, as the final reason I agreed to come here came to mind. "Do you have any books on activating Magic Circuits or summoning Servants? Sorry to say it, but while I may have some knowledge, I am an absolute novice when it comes to all matters of magic."

Kotomine laughed and laughed and laughed.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN- here you go! I have more Trash for the masses! Take one round, pass it around! Three trash pieces upon the story we go~**

 **Chapter 3**

It was the dead of night. The city was on the cusp of slumber, but I was still awake and active, and finally ready to act.

Before me was a chalk circle, copied cautiously from the open tome to the left of the array. Runes and arcane lettering flowed across the surface of the floor- the majority of it still as meaningless to me as it had been the first time I tried to draw it. I knelt before the circle, hands placed upon the edge.

Boudica sat on the bed, sword drawn and waiting for whatever was going to happen. Because I was going to try and summon a Servant now.

Most of the afternoon had been spent preparing for this one moment. Kotomine had given me two books in the end- one that detailed how to active my Circuits and other 'Magecraft for Dummies' tips, and the second was on Summoning- exactly what I had asked for.

The first four hours had been spent bashing my head against the wall until I'd managed to open up the floodgates which were the Magic Core I possessed, while the rest of the time was spent reading and gathering the basic regents' necessary for the ritual.

Chalk, incense, and candles- I had no artefacts to bring out any specific Servants, so I just had to cross my fingers and hope for the best.

"Good luck." Boudica told me, cheerfully with a little encouraging fistbump for motivational purposes. It was heartening to hear that from her. Boudica was just too dang nice really- she had faith that I would pull this off, even though I was the most inexperienced of inexperienced Magi.

Still, enough talk. Time to get started.

"Silver and iron to the origin. Gem and the archduke of contracts to the cornerstone. The ancestor is my great master Schweinorg." I began, speaking slowly and clearly. The words I were speaking were the same incantation that Tohsaka Rin had used to summon her own Servant- an expected outcome since Kotomine had been Rin's teacher, and likely supplied the same type of books to her as he did me.

In my mind, I began the next step, activating the trigger necessary for me to open up my Magic Core and pour out the required energy. I imagined an electric fan- the type of fan you might see in the office place. No- a wind _turbine_. Larger, more powerful and with momentum. Then, I switched it on, and imagined the mechanism begin to spin and spin, and the rest of the field of turbines in turn began to turn. From them, a massive gale of wind began to blow within me- sending vast currents of Prana through my body and out into the circle.

"The alighted wind becomes a wall. The gates in the four directions close, coming from the crown, the three-forked road that leads to the kingdom circulate."

The circle began to glow- a crimson shade identical to that of the tattoo upon my arm.

"Shut (fill). Shut (fill). Shut (fill). Shut (fill). Shut (fill).  
Repeat every five times.  
Simply, shatter once filled."

The wind from within reflected outwards in the circle- a gale emerging from the circle as mystic energies flowed through the room, causing the curtains to flutter and the documents on the desk to scatter. Despite myself, I grinned wide and strong. I was using _magic_. Despite the circumstances, that had to put a smile on my face, since deep down we all wish we were wizards with pointed hats.

"――――I announce!" I roared, my voice being lost in the gale.

"Your self is under me, my fate(doom) is in your sword.  
In accordance with the approach of the Holy Grail, if you abide by this feeling, this reason, then answer!"

The wind intensified, and the shine of the circle became so grand that I could barely see- though that might have also been partly due to the gale blowing directly into my face. Despite this distraction, I carried on, ignorant of all the chaos my ritual was inflicting. I had to finish the ritual. I had to speak the final lines I had memorised.

"Here is my oath. I am the one who becomes all the good of the world of the dead, I am the one who lays out all the evil of the world of the dead!  
You, seven heavens clad in three words of power, arrive from the ring of deterrence, O keeper of the balance ―――!"

The ritual hits a crescendo, the highest point, and then I felt a large tug in my gut as _something_ was consumed. The second Seal on my arm, the one closest to my hand, glowed in time with that of the ritual.

Then- the lightshow ended, and the room was plunged back into normality, with nothing to show of the intense ritual but the addition of one more person in the room than before.

She was short- that was my first thought. Then I saw her pointed ears and her long lavender hair, and the staff clutched in her hands.

"I am Servant Caster, are you my Master?" She asked me, her voice melodious and sweet as songbirds.

"I suppose I am." I replied, a satisfied smile upon my face. I'd succeeded- it sure had tired me out though. That ritual had been intense.

"And I am Servant Rider." Boudicia stepped forwards, introducing herself in turn. "We will be working together to protect our Master, so I hope we get along."

"Okay!" Caster agreed, nodding happily. "I admit I'm a little confused, but if we're both working together, then I'm happy!"

"Wow." I noted. "You really are naïve, aren't you? I mean, I was kinda expecting to have to use a Command Seal or something to make you get along."

"Why would you need to do that?" She asked curiously. "I can tell that she's your Servant, afterall. We're linked." At this, she pointed to my arm, where her Command Seal stood out proudly- a flowerbud with three distinct petals. "Besides which, I trust you."

"Fufu. Aren't you adorably trusting?" Boudica teased.

Caster flushed. "Yup. I suppose I am. That's okay though. I'd much rather try to trust than constantly expect to be betrayed."

I clapped my hands together. "Well, I'm just glad that we're getting along, I suppose. I assume you would like some answers."

"Yes please." The young looking Heroic Spirit asked.

"Well, there's already a Holy Grail War taking place, but we're extra combatants." I began, pointing out the seven sets of Seals on my body. "We're outliers. I have no idea why we're in the war, or how we're going to deal with any of this, or if there will be consequences for us taking part in a ritual meant for only seven Servants, but here we are. So… I figured that I'd better summon first and think later."

"Better to have the fighting forces available than to not." The Rider agreed.

"Hmmm…" Caster looked deep in thought, before she nodded her head innocently and balled her fists- psyching herself up. "Okay. I still don't know what's happening, but I'll help you! My staff and my spells are yours, Master~"

"Thank you, Caster." It certainly made me feel more comfortable knowing that she was on board. While not necessarily strong in close combat, Caster's were amazing support characters. Between Rider and Caster, I was sure that even Arturia Pendragon would be halted- if only for awhile.

"Anyway, introduction time. I'm James. Rider, are you happy to introduce yourself?"

"Of course. I'm Boudica, the Queen of Victory."

"Remind me to ask about your legend sometime." I offhandedly remarked. "Greek mythology tends to be my bread and butter. I'm afraid that I've not heard of your name before, Boudica."

"Well, if you know the Greeks, then you know of me." Caster began, nervously, her foot grinding into the floor in an adorable manner. "My name is Medea."

"Ohhhh." I said, in realisation. Her outfit and staff reminded me of someone, not to mention the hair and ears. Then again, she looked very different to the Witch of Betrayal I was familiar with. Younger, more innocent. There wasn't blood on her hands- not yet. "I'm guessing you're from before when Jason showed up?"

"Yes." She nodded her head. "I am the princess of Colchis, and nobody else."

"Fair enough." I said, and that was that.

She blinked in confusion. "Don't you have anything to say to that? My… my legend isn't exactly pleasant. I expected…"

"You expected what? 'Grab your torch and pitchforks', or something? No offense, but I don't care too much for the Witch of Betrayal. But you aren't her… yet. It would be petty of me for my reaction to take into account all of the sins you haven't even committed yet. Hell, even then, the tale of Medea has always been more tragic than anything."

That was the plain and simple truth- I didn't care about what Medea had done. Honestly, I kinda empathised with the lady. You could see why she did what she did. Caster, the Witch of Betrayal, was a bitchy bitch, but she was a product of what the gods did to her. Across Fate Stay Night, all she really wanted was a second chance at happiness… and I couldn't exactly fault her for that.

And this wasn't even _that_ Medea. So, I would treat her like I would anyone else. Because we couldn't afford to _not_ get along, considering the mess we were stuck knee-deep in.

"Thank you." Was all Medea said, and we left it that, while Boudica was just happy to sit back and see that we were getting along. "So, what's the plan?"

"Well, for now we need to get to sleep." I told the elf-like girl. "I'm still looking for information, so tomorrow I am going to go… to school again." Shudder. "A few Masters are there, so maybe I can buy a non-aggression treaty or something. We aren't a normal part of the war, after all."

Plus, it would be oh so simple to find Shirou Emiya and make an alliance with him. We were going to need him later on for Gilgamesh and so such, so I think getting him on board the 'let's stop the apocalypse!' bandwagon was a good idea.

"Hmmm, but there is only one bed, Master." Boudica said, with a teasing smile on her face. "Are we going to have to share?"

I rolled my eyes. She was just flirting for the sake of teasing, really. "You _can_ enter into Astral mode, you know?"

"But staying like that all night is booooring." Medea pouted.

Again, those eyes of mine continued to roll. "You're the ones doing the fighting, I suppose. If you're really going to make a fuss then you can take the bed and I'll steal some pillows for the floor." I was a gamer- it's not like this carpet was the worst thing I've ever slept on.

"Oh no you don't!" Boudica said threateningly. "We were just joking before, _weren't we_?"

"I wasn't. I like my beauty sleep." Medea frowned, her arms crossed. Rider rapped her on the head, and she quickly changed her tune. "Fine- I was joking."

"There we go. So, you get a good night's rest on the bed, Master."

Now I began to frown. "Yeah- but now _I_ feel guilty. Admittedly you are spiritual manifestations of heroic legends capable of turning into ghosts, but _still_. What sort of jackass tells a lady to sleep on the floor?"

Boudica threw up her hands- as if going 'fuck it'. "Then why don't we share? Its big enough for us all."

"Totally platonic?" I asked.

"Of course." Boudica stated, resolutely. Then, that teasing look returned to her eye. "I _was_ married before my death, you know…"

"Fine. Let's just sleep then. I'm honestly knackered after that summoning."

XXXXXXXXXX

The Witching Hour was almost over, and deep within the bowels of a mountain, the Holy Grail began to stir. It could sense something was amiss- had felt it all day.

For so long now, the Grail had been broken- tainted in a manner that couldn't be explained. Like an incubator, something black began to grow within an otherwise pure ritual. However, the darkness was gone now. Inexplicably, the corruption had vanished, and the Grail had never been more aware… nor had so much _freedom_.

The absence of the dark was one thing, but there were other factors too that caused the pseudo-sentience of the ritual to awaken.

There were too many Servants, for one thing. Two Servants so far- active within its boundaries, lightly linked to it for the purposes of the ritual, and yet they were Servants that the Grail _had not approved the Summoning of_.

The Holy Grail War features seven Servants, and _only_ seven. Yet, now the seventh Servant, Saber, had been summoned. And with the seven, there were an additional two. This was unacceptable- primarily because the Grail had not been responsible for them.

If anything, they were true outliers. Aberrations. The Grail wasn't even the power source maintaining their manifestation- a very different Magic was supporting them.

It considered the problem with the largest amount of processing power and thought it had been allocated- looking for answers. Based upon its calculations, seven of these outliers in total were going to be summoned by the Aberration at the heart of the matter. United under a single Master, this placed the Grail in a _very_ difficult position. The War- the sanctity of the ritual itself- was threatened! With such an overwhelming advantage in numbers, none of the Master and Servant pairs could possibly hope to stand against them.

Not yet, anyway. It would be nigh impossible for the original Masters to unite against the threat. No- the Grail needed to use its newfound freedom of action to do exactly that- take action.

Deep within the bowels of the ritual, one particular option stood out. It was risky and dangerous, and a massive gamble. It would take every drop of power the Grail still had, and would cripple any chance of the Holy Grail War ever occurring again if this one failed like the former four.

It was all or nothing, if the Grail went forwards.

Even so- the threat was there, and needed to be addressed. The calculations were clear- this option had the highest odds of success.

The Grail began its work. The ritual pulled hard on the leylines of Fuyuki, draining every drop of Prana it could. Like a sponge in a bucket, or a dehydrated man at an oasis, the Grail _consumed_. It would need everything the leylines could give- and would permanently cripple the mana production of the leylines in the process.

Even so- this sudden, rush job was successful. The Grail had gained enough energy to potentially call upon eight more pairs of Masters and Servants.

That was the solution the Grail reached.

An Apocrypha. A final solution to a hijacked Grail War- the creation of seven more Master/Servant pairs, whom could theoretically combat the entire might of all seven original Servants were they to turn against the goals of the War.

Yes- they would serve their purpose in dealing with the Aberration, and in turn the originally selected Masters would band together to combat them.

The Grail searched- its senses stretching outwards, to find more valid Masters with a wish to be granted.

One by one, the Command Seals were allocated and manifested. Soon, these new Masters would begin summoning.

Meanwhile, it gathered the first chunk of Prana it would need to personally summon a Servant.

With its duties addressed, the Grail returned to a state akin to hibernation, as its automatic procedures continued. Here, the Grail would wait until it was time to manifest. It would appear… when a Wish would be granted…

XXXXXXXXXX

Elsewhere, seven individuals became aware of a pain upon their hands. Slowly but surely, red marks began to spread across the flesh, until the Command Seals became clearly visible. Confusion turned to expectation, to desire.

All of them made the resolution to take part in the Holy Grail War they had been offered opportunities to enter.

XXXXXXXXXX

Finally, in a burst of light visible to none (For nobody was present to observe it), a figure clad in silver and steel emerged. Her long blonde hair blew in the breeze of the night, and she looked upwards to the moon.

She had been given a duty, and she would fulfil it.

For Servant Ruler had been summoned.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN- And so the plot (?) continues…**

 **Chapter 4**

 _A peaceful land. Fields of green, blue skies littered with clouds, flowing rivers from the hills down to the valleys, and cheerful people to populate it. Life wasn't perfect, never could be, and frequent conflicts emerged between the various tribes- but it was a peaceful land never the less, and she lived in happiness._

 _There was a woman. A queen, in fact. She lived a simple life with the husband she loved and the two daughters she adored. Britannia was her paradise, and she loved every aspect of it._

 _Trouble loomed on the horizon. Roman emissaries and whispers of war, but the woman had faith in her people and that of the Romans. There would be no need for war. She'd protect all her people, and she was sure that Rome had the capability to listen to wisdom._

 _Her peaceful home would remain untroubled._

 _But alas, life is riddled with misfortune, and death strikes at all when it is least expected._

 _Her wonderful husband, the King, dead, leaving her in his place to rule alone, while vultures circled around- just waiting to gnaw to the bone a weakened nation._

 _Elsewhere, the Emperor of Rome, Claudius, perished as well- with Nero rising in his place. With him, a grand shift in policy._

 _The woman's peaceful times could no longer stay unmolested._

 _Tragedy after tragedy. The Romans took it all, galvanised by Britannia's missing King and their own new leadership. The Romans stole their land, they enslaved her people, they_ invaded _._

 _The woman desperately tried to halt them- to seek a peaceful solution. But her people whispered otherwise. They cursed her name, belittled her with scorn and disdain- they wanted blood. Finally, she obliged. Rome had gone too far. As Queen, it was expected that she would mount a resistance._

 _The woman abandoned her peaceful life, for peace had been taken from her land of Britannia._

 _And thus, the woman accepted the mantle of the Warrior Queen, the Queen of Victory, and rebelled with all her heart. She would not stop. No matter the blood she would be forced to spill._

XXXXXXXXXX

Much to my surprise, I woke up alone on the bed- sweating terribly. I'd dreamt something awful, though the memories of the experience were starting to slip away much as all dreams do- but I couldn't forget. The overall feeling, and the understanding I seemed to feel… normally I wasn't one to dream, or if I did, I could never really recall then. I was almost certain that this was the work of the Dream Cycle.

" _Now if only peace had been retained. That dream might have been nicer, otherwise."_

I turned my mind elsewhere though- perhaps seeking distraction. The emptiness of the bedroom provided an adequate excuse, and I turned my attention to before I had fallen asleep. I'd been a bit hesitant to share a bed in the beginning (To say the least), and so had expected a terrible sleep. I had agreed to share with Rider and Caster out of convenience, and both were horrifically strong and unfortunately also very attractive ladies, and I was a guy who only had a single proper relationship under his belt- that hadn't gone further than kissing.

So yeah- I had expected the whole experience to be… difficult.

It had turned out better than expected though. In the end, I'd been _really_ tired, and the bed was big. Sleep had found me almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

"Where is everyone?"

"Oh, there you are Master!" Boudica greeted, emerging from the other room. She had clearly been cooking, and had found an apron somewhere to hang over her rather bare torso. More importantly, she had a plate of _hot food_ for me. "I awoke early to ensure you had a proper breakfast~"

"… wow. You are _really_ motherly." I commented.

"I _am_ one of the ancestors of Britannia, you know? And I said it before. I _was_ married when I walked the surface of the Earth. I even had children. Looking out for others is in my blood. It's merely my summoning itself that has lent me this youthful body."

A hammer to the chest- the dream flooded back to me. A peaceful woman, with tears on her face and intent to bloody her sword until peace returned to her land once more.

"Well, thank you for the food." I conceded, pushing the dream out of thought. Instead, I chose to enjoy the meal she'd prepared. It was six in the morning, earlier than I normally staggered from my sleepy state of death, and I'd vowed to head in early enough to enter normal lessons. I needed to meet up with the main cast, did I not? "Where's Medea?"

"Sleeping on the sofa, the pour thing." She commented. "Perhaps I was a tad too harsh on her yesterday. Since she had only just been summoned, she felt guilty sleeping, so almost as soon as you fell asleep she instead chose to get to work."

"On?"

"Her 'Hospital'." Boudica answered. "She says it's a Territory she can create that boosts the efficiency and strength of any healing spells she casts, with some basic protection aspects to it."

"Well, remind me to thank her for her hard work." It wasn't quite Older!Medea levels of bullshit Territory Creation, but it still sounded useful. A party was only as strong as its healer and having a specialised area to work in might work wonders for us later on.

"Do you want to leave her here when we head out?"

"I think so." It would look suspicious to have two Servants following me around. I may be able to pass off as semi-normal if I acted like a regular competitor of the Grail War. Rider would have to do for protection, for now. If need be, I could just use a Command Seal. I had a surplus, did I not? "Can you stay in Astral form and protect my back?"

"Sure! Time to head out, head out!" She cheerfully faded away into nothingness, content to wait for when I would call her. Until then, I would finish my food, and then I would head into the lion's den known as _Japanese Highschool_.

XXXXXXXXXX

"My name is James Branson, please take care of me. I like reading, I suppose." I told the class, bowing low.

"Hai, hai! So that's the newbie, everyone!" Fujimura Taiga said joyously. "So then, new kid! Go sit down! There's a seat next to Miss Tohsaka!"

"Wow!" I said. "What a coincidence."

The Magus narrowed her eyes at me, and I could see her looking at a spot just behind me where I knew Rider was stood patiently. I smiled at her, and inclined my head slightly. I was a piss poor Magus with no actual ability, so I couldn't tell where the hell her Archer was, but the point was clear. We acknowledged each other. We knew who the other was.

And thus, began the school day. With a vague introduction, the promise of a threat, and the whispers of our classmates.

XXXXXXXXXX

"I'm here. What did you want to talk about?" Rin Tohsaka asked me as she exited the main body of the school, shutting the rooftop door behind her as she did so. I waited across from her by the fence, with Boudica still Astral at my side.

"I'm glad you got my note." I began.

"Got it? You scrunched it up and threw it at me when the teacher's back was turned. 'meet at the rooftop, lunchtime'. How could I _not_ get it?" She growled.

"Ahh- typical Tsundere Rin." I raised a hand to stop her before she would inevitably protest my summation. "But yeah- moving straight onto business. Do you mind if I get to the point?"

She smiled politely. "Oh yes, please do. We are both Magi and Masters, after all."

"Wrong." I shook my head. "Until I summoned a Servant, I had no real role in the Moonlit World. Irrespective of that, what'd you think of this: 'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours'."

Rin stood there in silence, looking to the spot beside her. I was sure she was conversing with her Servant- something I was incapable of doing due to my lack of actual training or ability as a Magus. I had the raw MP to cast as many spells as I wanted, but not a single spell in my arsenal to use it on.

At last, she came to a decision. Wordlessly, her Servant materialised. I let out a small breath of relief- it was the same old GARCHER we all know and love (And hate).

"Come on out, Rider." At my urging, the redhead did just that. She offered a friendly wave, though her eyes refused to leave that of Archer.

"So, what do you want?" Rin said.

"To warn you." I told her, honestly. "Quite frankly, I didn't really want to come into school today, but I figured I owed it to you to at least warn you."

"Of?" She said, impatiently. "If you aren't willing to spit it out, then why bother saying it?"

"Look, this war is gonna be Bullshit, okay? That is the plain and simple truth. This Holy Grail War will be abnormal as more than seven Servants are going to be summoned throughout it."

"And how do you know that?" She asked with stern eyes.

"Ask Kotomine." I countered. "I'm just saying that if things get strange later on, then you've got some prior knowledge."

"Hmph. And just what sort of 'strangeness' does this involve?" Butted in Archer, a voice filled with scorn.

"None of your business." Boudica told him hostilely. It seemed even a woman as nice as Boudica was naturally inclined to dislike EMIYA.

"That was reason number one, that I was here for." I admitted. "I still have two other- _three_ other- things I want to discuss."

My statement had an impact upon Rin- she tensed up. "Don't expect for me to take it easy on you just because you're telling me all this."

I snorted. "You? Taking it easy on someone would be horribly out of character." Except for on one single knucklehead, perhaps. "No. Point number two is that you may want to be doubly cautious this War. I can't be sure, but there is a good chance there is an inherent flaw in the Fuyuki system as a result of the Einzberns breaking the system with an Illegal summon back in the Third War."

"Can you prove it?"

"No." I admitted. "But it doesn't harm me to tell you. In addition, the Fake Priest is less trustworthy than you imagine."

"So, fancy that, an enemy Master telling me something cryptic and unhelpful, that would no doubt cause suspicion between me and those I could perhaps call allies? Sounds legitimate." Rin's response was harsh, but I couldn't blame her for saying so. I _was_ suspicious, and I couldn't really tell her everything without her disbelief.

"Fine then. Don't believe me. You've been warned. Point number three- I want a non-aggression treaty. And before you say anything, _yes_ , I know you can't trust me. Now shut up and listen."

"No, _you_ shut up!" She snarled, indignantly. Her hand went to her pocket, where I'm sure she had a Jewel prepared. Likewise, Archer readied himself to manifest his bow and immediately notch an arrow, while Boudica had her hand by her side, ready to draw.

"Look, _I don't want to fight you_." I reiterated. "Firstly, you're rather competent, so I'd avoid having to fight you this early. Two- I don't really want a wish, and since I was largely dragged into this war, I'm hoping to keep my bacon intact since the addition of extra Servants should mean that some competitors can escape without the death of their Servants, since the given quota would already be fulfilled."

"That's only if I believe you about the extra summons. I mean, who ever heard of a Grail War with more than seven participants?"

"They're rarer than a virgin at a brothel." I conceded. "But the possibility exists. All I'm asking is for you to wait. If there _are_ more than seven Summons, I'm sure you'll stumble into them."

"And what if I disregard that and try to take you out now?" She said threateningly. Again- that tension of the incoming fight emerged.

"Well, I suppose I'd have to take down your Servant, wouldn't I?" Boudica told her with a smile.

And so we stood at a standoff- as we both considered our options. It was daytime, we were at a school, and she knew nothing of my Servant's capabilities. She had to weight the pros and cons of that, while I had to decide if it was worth revealing my 'multiple Servants' trump card this early if she _did_ attack.

Finally, Rin made her decision. "Fine. I'll stand down… for now." With that, the tension faded and Rin turned to go, Archer protecting her back. "It's not worth fighting you here at school. Too much collateral. I won't go out of my way to track you down, but I can't promise that I won't take the chance against you if we meet."

"I suppose that is the best I could hope for." I admitted, then nodded at Boudica. With an understanding smile, she turned into her Astral form. We waited for Rin to go, before breathing a sigh of relief.

"That could have gone worse." I said to myself, before heading back inside myself.

One out of three objectives fulfilled.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Hey Shinji!" I greeted the boy, my smile far too forced to fool anyone. The teens eyes narrowed at me- no doubt Medusa had told him of the Master she had almost killed, so I knew from the get go that he would know I was a Master. "I don't suppose you could show me around the school, could you? I'm new, you see?"

I was sure that Shinji would get the message. He was a detestable worm, but not a moron. "Of course." He said amiably, his smile just as forced as mine. "But alas, lunch is almost over! It will have to be after school."

" _Of course_ , Shinji!" I agreed cheerfully. "Lookin' forwards to it." and then I walked away.

" _One target left."_

Just my luck that the school bell rung before I had time to find the hero wannabe.

XXXXXXXXX

Once school ended, I followed Shinji as he left the classroom. The façade was put on, and we both spoke pointless pleasantries (With underlying hints and threats of violence), until we had finally found a quiet spot to talk. We were by the wooded area, an isolated area out of the way of everyone- I knew that such a location would give Medusa a huge advantage but there was little choice if I wanted to talk to him.

"Well, at least we can finally stop that ridiculous charade." I began.

"Indeed." He sneered slightly. "You weren't very believable. Not exactly good Magus material, huh?"

"Not a Magus." I agreed. "Then again, neither are you. At least _I_ have Magic Circuits." Ha- sick burns are sick.

"Bastard!" He snarled, gritting his teeth and clenching his hands hard enough to draw blood- I almost thought he'd call his Servant, before he finally seemed to change his mind, and calm himself.

"Sorry. Hit a sore spot, huh?" I said, with not a hint of apology at all. "Look, Shinji. I'll be blunt. I don't like you. I really don't. You're the worst kind of person. But I don't much want to have your blood on my hands either."

"Ohhh? Are you looking for an _alliance_?" Shinji's eyes widened to the size of saucepans. "I could certainly see why you'd ask. After all, you saw my Rider in action, before you managed to summon your Servant through sheer chance."

"Wrong." I told him. "I don't want an alliance. I think we're both smart enough to realise we'd kill each other the minute the other's back was turned." He didn't deny the statement, because he's a little asshole, and I'm aware of said fact so naturally suspicious and trigger happy. "Still, I know how this will end. And I _hope_ things will turn out better for you. I said I'd be blunt, so I'll get to it. I know that you can't fuel your Servant, Matou. And I know how you've been feeding her, and what you _plan_ to do."

"And what is that?" The bluenette asked, prying for answers.

"Reduce the school to a primordial soup." I put it plainly. "This isn't my school, but there are some things that cross the line, and this is one of those. Innocent schoolchildren are a _nononono_. Consequently, this is a warning. There are three other Masters at this school. _Three_. Kind of long odds, huh, but that's true, believe me or not. Three other Masters. And I think all of them would have something to say of you trying to dissolve the students of this school. So, here's my pitch. Don't be a dumbass that tries to murder his classmates, _because that's dumb_. If you try to do it, then I promise you that I will personally team up with the others to stop you. Even if you somehow don't incur the wrath of the three Masters, I can promise that I can get at least two Servants to fight your own."

Technicalities are the best. He assumed I meant I could recruit one of the others, but it also equally meant that I _already_ had two Servants, and was liable to get more. The best lies are those hidden amidst truths.

He laughed. "You're an idiot. What sort of a dumbass tells their enemy what they are planning?"

"Someone who doesn't want to kill you." I admitted. "You are the worst kind of human, but I've never killed before, and I don't relish the experience of having to do it in this War. I'd much rather give you an option out, even if I know you won't take it, if only so I the moral justification to kick your ass. Plus, I'd prefer a path with lesser fatalities."

Shinji considered his options for a moment, before he seemed to come to a decision. "Rider!" From the shadows of the treeline, the Gorgon emerged.

"Saber." I followed suit- and my Servant answered to the wrong name.

"You don't want me to kill the people here for food? That's fine… just give me another meal instead."

I looked at him in disbelief. "You're fucking with me, right?"

His expression was trollish- sadistic- but unfortunately for me, he wasn't. "Oh, I'm serious. Rider says you have a ridiculous amount of Prana. It's almost unfair really, that you were born with all that while I was born with _nothing_. So, here's a deal for you. Feed Rider, and I'll leave the students here alone, hmmm? Why should I bother with little morsels like them when I have an all you can eat buffet here already?"

"Do you think I'm an idiot!?" I shouted back. "Geez! No! If I give Rider a chance close to me, then she'll damn well drain me dry, or just snap my neck while I'm exposed! I'm not dumb enough to walk into _that_ Dead End."

Shinji's expression became an overt frown. "Well, isn't that a shame. I suppose I will have to go ahead with my plan, won't I?"

And in following through with such a plan, he would potentially put all the people here at school in danger (Myself included- as I wasn't any less immune to the effects of getting my face melted). So, to let him do it would be a kicker on my conscience. "Shut up. I'm thinking."

I looked to my Servant, to see what she thought. I couldn't telepathically talk to her, but that didn't mean I couldn't see what the was thinking. The look she gave me was clear: 'Don't make me beat you up for being dumbass if you do go through with this, you dumbass'.

The problem was, that even if I _could_ get Shinji to comply and inserted terms to ensure I could leave with my life intact (Maybe through Command Seal utilisation or something, or perhaps setting up a mutual-loss failsafe for him trying to backstab me during the exchange), I still couldn't guarantee that Shinji would even hold up his end of the deal. He could end up using Blood Fort Andromada in spite of his promises otherwise, and use the Prana drained from me to power Rider up even further and compensate for the fact that I was guaranteeing he'd be facing off against multiple threats.

No. I couldn't guarantee it. But I also couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't change his plan now that he knew what I intended to do. It was a real sticky situation, and one I'd personally caused due to dumbly trying to look for another choice besides helping to murder his ass once he activated it.

" _You know, I'm really starting to regret doing this."_ I was definitely going to have to think these things through a little bit harder, if I truly was going to have to deal with this Holy Grail War.

"I've made a decision." I announced. I brought up my hand and pointed at Shinji.

"And?" Shinji pressed, leaning forward intently.

"If I want to protect the poor people of this school, then I suppose I should really just comply and _**cut his throat**_."

The Absolute Command of a Command Seal was in of itself Absolute. It broke space and shattered limitations to ensure the Order was enforced. And this usage had come out of nowhere. I'd activated the Seal mid-sentence, activating it with my intent amidst a present conversation. As soon as the words were spoken, and the meaning made clear to my opponent, it was already too late to stop.

Boudica was not a fast Servant. C Rank, she'd said. Boudica had proven herself slower than Rider last time they fought. However, this time I had an element of surprise on my side, and the power of a Command Seal backing up the action I ordered- letting her move far faster than she normally could. Plus, there was no real guarantee that Rider would put up her full effort to defend Shinji. Her true master was Sakura, and it wouldn't really be _her_ fault if she just so happened to accidentally delay her retaliation by even a _second_ before she saved the Master she didn't want…

A moment, and then it was over. Servants are superhuman, and it showed. Boudica was gone from my side, and then the next her blade was drawn and it had already carved through the neck- spilling blood everywhere. Rider's reaction was swift, and her nails shot straight for my heart, but Boudica wasn't exactly going to sit back and let this happen.

" **Chariot of Boudica!"** She intoned, activating her Noble Phantasm. Unlike the namesake, no chariot appeared. Instead, great wooden wheels manifested around me, spinning and circling around me protectively. The dagger struck a wheel and bounced off, and then Boudica was moving- her bloody blade poised to strike again.

Medusa didn't wield just one chain though- her second dagger danced around her, deflecting the blade and letting her retreat away.

"Let her go." I ordered, and Boudica complied- she jumped back closer to myself to protect me, just in case.

Rider took the opportunity provided, and fled into the woods, disappearing in a flicker of light, and leaving the two of us alone with just the bleeding corpse of Shinji Matou.

"Thank you for-"

SLAP! Her palm met my face with a sharp sound, and she turned her anger upon me. "How dare you." She hissed. "I understand the need for bloodshed. I can hardly say my blade is clean; my sword has tasted the blood of far too many innocents whose only crimes were being named 'Roman' for me to complain about that. Even so- I don't _enjoy it_. And there is no honour to be found in treachery like that, when other choices could still have been made."

She had a point- it was a dick move on my part. I'd ordered a man killed- broke a tentative peace and killed someone merely on suspicion of what he would do. Sure, he was a raping bastard, and he'd ordered his Servant to kill in the past for the Prana, but he hadn't committed murder upon his classmates- not quite yet.

I didn't regret his death. I knew he was a bad person, and would do worse. But the manner of death...

"I'm sorry." I told her, sincerely. "I panicked. I wasn't prepared to concede to his deal. I… I was a coward. I wanted to try and prevent him from causing a tragedy, but wasn't prepared to give my all to follow through. And then when I was scared that he would commit the very act I tried to prevent, only perform it better… and then when I considered him stabbing me in the back anyway, even if I could 'feed' her without dying in the process…"

By now, I was rambling. I kinda needed to stop. "So… in short… I'm sorry for the way that ended. I hadn't consulted with you on this, and actively broke the peace of meeting… so I'm sorry." Because to a woman who truly desired peace more than anything else, there was no greater sin than someone actively tearing apart any 'peaceful' solution. It didn't matter that she had largely agreed with my opinion of the 'deal'. At the end of the day, it was still a 'peace talk'. We could have compromised. There may have been another way.

Shinji was dead now. There was no path of 'peace' between us to pursue, because I'd pre-emptively killed him.

Boudica had listened to my apology- and remained stoic throughout. Finally, now that I had finished, she reached out and pulled me into a hug. "I understand. I forgive you. But don't you _dare_ do that again, _especially_ without talking to me first."

Yes- a woman of peace. But circumstances and tragedy had forced the woman of peace to don the mantle of a Warrior Queen, sent to avenge the Brittons upon the Romans. She knew bloodshed just as much as peace, didn't she?

I laughed, and pulled myself from her grasp. "I suppose we'd better clean up that body, huh?" It was the first time I'd seen a corpse, and up until now I'd been very careful about not looking at it- I was scared that I'd throw up. I gave it a direct look, and I shuddered. It was very uncanny to see such a still body, and the pooling blood made me feel no better.

"You're the one that ordered it. _You_ clean up the bloody body." And then she laughed too, and deliberately went over to grab the body in my stead, even though she'd just said she wouldn't. "Leave this to me, Master. I think we've both had enough taste of blood for the day, huh?"


	5. Chapter 5

**AN- Welp, Shinji's bitten the bullet. Alas, we barely knew thee. Probably for the best…**

 **Chapter 5**

"Welcome home~" came the cheerful voice of Medea as we returned to our hotel room. The Caster was sat at the desk, happily humming as she worked. To her left were ingredients: plants, roots, trinkets and oddities of all kind to be used in her Magecraft. To her right, were what seemed to be the end results of her B Rank Item Creation skill. "I have had quite a productive day, might I add!"

"I can see that you have. Those look good." I complemented.

"Heheh. Thanks." She rubbed the back of her head bashfully. "I've worked hard, you know! I might not be quite as good in a fight as Boudica here, but as a Caster I am top notch! Since I awoke, I've been working non-stop on these."

"What are they, anyway?" the Rider asked, going to pick up one of the vials before Medea slapped her hand away.

"Weeeell, this ring finds them, and this one brings them all and in the darkness, binds them!" she gleefully pointed out.

"Now Medea, I know my fantasy literature quotes, and if that's the One Ring I'll eat my metaphorical hat. What do they really do?"

"Buzzkill." She clicked her tongue at me. "Fine. Serious time, I guess. The big thing I have here is this." She threw the ring she'd been proclaiming the One at me. "Communication ring. I know you're a bit of a… novice… at Magecraft, so I figured that the ability to telepathically get in contact with both of us could come in really handy."

"Thank you." I slipped the ring on. [ _"Can you hear me?"_ ]I thought loudly, focussing on an image of Medea in my mind.

[ _"Yup. There you go. Nice and easy to use. Just picture the person, and it should work!"_ ]

By now, Medea was already moving onto the rest of her creations. "Then we have these vials. They're healing potions! Never know when they'll come in handy! That one over there is a paralytic! I don't much like hurting people, and poison is a weapon I don't much like either, but this should do the trick if we _do_ have to commit to underhand tactics, though I would be very disappointed if we needed to!"

My Rider gave me a pointed look. I pretended not to see her and whistled innocently.

"Oh! And we have one last thing! A bit of a rushed job on my end… but go ahead and try it on!" she hurriedly placed a simple necklace around my neck. It was cheap- tacky in many regards. But it had been made with care, and for my sake so I smiled and accepted it.

"What does it do?"

"It's a shield charm." She told me. "It won't seriously stop a Servant that wants to kill you, but it should hold up against a Master's attacks for awhile. You might even be able to block a passing shot from a Servant too, if you're fast enough! Merely chant teíchos and run some Prana through it and it will produce a spherical shield around you. Be aware that the shield and charm are sympathetically linked. When one breaks, so does the other."

She'd impressed me. They were nothing but trinkets really, but it was the little things that mattered the most, sometimes. This was likely going to save my life someday, as would those potions. She wasn't going to be facing down Berserker Hercules anytime soon, but Medea would be protecting me in so many other ways, all the same. "Good job." I told her with an honest grin.

She smiled in return. "No problem! I'm happy to help! Now, how did your day go?"

"Well, I kinda killed a guy- he was a Master, but a real asshole- and apart from that unexpected incident, things went fine since I did everything I set out to acc…" but then I stopped mid-sentence. I'd been about to say: 'I did everything I set out to accomplish', but I hadn't, had I? There were three objectives: Rin, Shinji and Shirou. "Mother fucker! I forgot about Shirou!"

"Who?" Medea asked.

"Shioru!"

"Who?"

"I said- Shirou!"

Again, Medea blinked in confusion. "And he is?"

"Look, he's not important." I instead sighed- this was just going to go on.

Again, she was perfectly able to capture that almost childlike innocence in her voice. "Then why does it matter if it's not important?"

"No! He _is_ important, but I was mostly just trying to skip the whole immature conversation I saw coming. Point is, I wanted to see a guy, but I didn't see the guy."

"Oh well. There's always tomorrow!"

She had a point.

"So, Master, what do we do now?" Boudicia asked me, flopping onto the bed. "I've been a Queen, but never really a thinker. I merely led my people; I had people to do the majority of the planning for me. So, since we're absent a general and you _are_ the Master here, I suppose you're the closest thing we have. So, what's our next move?"

"I'm not too sure yet." I confessed. "To me, today was all about reconnaissance. Double check what I know, and scope out the competition. The fact that I killed Shinji was honestly a surprise."

"Shinji who?" Medea queried.

"Doesn't matter this time because he's _dead_." I said- with perhaps the tiniest of satisfaction in my tone. I regretted his manner of death, but not necessarily me killing him. He certainly wouldn't be causing much harm to anyone anymore.

"Huh. That was quick."

"Yup. One Master down. Admittedly his Servant is still in play, but she's in the hands of a more sensible Master." More moral, definitely, but only if you've been lucky enough to have stayed the fuck away from the Heavens Feel route. "But the point is- I'm still trying to figure it out."

"Well then, perhaps we should start considering you Summoning another Servant." Boudica suggested, face still buried into the bed.

"Bad idea." Medea replied. "I've been thinking about it, you see. About the Grail. When we're summoned, we're told a lot about the War by the system itself, but it's clear that _we-_ " she gestured between us. "are not normal. I don't know much about the Greater Grail, and would honestly _love_ to get a chance to see it up close-" HAH! NO CHANCE WITH ELDER MEDEA THERE. "but I don't think the Grail could handle such massive Prana drains as an addition seven Servants without dire consequences."

"What are you saying then?" I motioned for her to continue, and to get to the point.

She rolled her eyes, but complied- deeming us worthy of skipping what would have been a large textbook recital. "Long story short, I don't think that we're supported by the Greater Grail, but rather an external source. You've got a massive Prana capacity Master, and could likely support quite a few Servants permanently, maybe even all seven if you were willing to lose almost all of your Prana, but if you were the pure supplier the effect on you would be _more_ noticeable. We still have _another_ power source. But we shouldn't try to pressure that source _too much_. We don't know what it is, where it is, or just how much Prana it provides. So, until then, I think we should be cautious, discrete and less aggressive… at least until we have a full roster."

… I never thought I'd see the day where Medea of Colchis promoted caution, discretion and non-aggression. Truly, tis a mighty fine day. "So then doc, what's the prognosis?"

"At least a day between Summons." She informed me sternly. "I'd prefer two, but I'm not a fool. I'm aware that we're going to need those reinforcements sooner rather than later. You summoned twice yesterday, so I would recommend we wait until tomorrow evening to summon the next one, to properly account for that."

"Fair enough. I can live with that. We'll just play defensively for a little while longer."

"I recommend we scout tonight, then." Chimed in Boudica. "I don't like sitting around, doing nothing. I'd be much happier if we go out and learned the battlefield we'll be fighting upon soon."

That was a strategy I could get on board with. I couldn't escape the Grail War, therefore I was going to survive, if not _win_ the War. "Excellent. I want to start looking for a new base anyway."

"Awwwww. But I just finished Warding this place!" Argued Medea, her lower lip trembling adorably.

"Yes, but it's hardly large enough for eight, is it? And we could get attacked anytime now. Who knows when we'll be forced to abandon base?"

"Fine." Medea didn't look happy with my judgement, but she understood.

A simple reconnaissance mission? I could handle that. "Okay. We'll wait until its dark, and then we'll head on out. I'll patrol with Rider, while you can stay in reserve Caster. Since we can talk now, it should be easy to alert you to bail us out if we need you."

"A-Okay!" Medea agreed, while Boudica offered a thumbs up.

I clapped my hands together in satisfaction. "Excellent! Now rest up, because tonight we're gonna be busy."

XXXXXXXXXX

We'd been patrolling for hours, by this point in time. Progress by walking was deemed slow, since we wanted to cover the entire city, while Boudica was unwilling to blatantly reveal her Class by riding her mount, so instead we had switched to Boudica carrying me bridal style. Yes, it was embarrassing, and she made sure to tease me relentlessly about it, but it was fast.

Either way, we'd managed to cover the entirety of the eastern side of the city. The harbours had looked promising, and we'd managed to find an abandoned warehouse that was structurally sound, easily defensible and seemed out of the way enough for use. A few charms and a subtle Bounded Field to incite a passive 'ahah! I had forgotten to do this and need to do it right now!' reaction later, and the warehouse looked like it would be ready for us to retreat to if ever we required it.

Along the way we'd managed to scout out some other key areas: we saw Lancer skulking about sullenly in the darkness from afar near the church (Thanks to the scrying capabilities of Caster), managed to track down the fancy-pants area of the city Rin's house was likely to be within and which also meant we'd be able to track down the Matou's if we really needed to (Since Zouken wasn't going to off himself anytime soon).

Next stop- the temple, which was dead ahead. We only needed to head up a flight of stairs, and we'd be there. I was dreading it. More accurately, I was dreading Young!Medea learning about her Elder self.

" _Okay. That temple has a natural anti-spiritual Bounded Field surrounding it, so it would make a good place for a Master to hole up in. Let's just check it quickly and move on. If its empty, we could consider making a base of it."_ Caster whispered to me.

" _Thanks Medea. We should consider it."_ Now, if only we lived in Bizarro World where Caster was nothing but an adoring housewife with an Otaku Saber fetish...

"Put me down." Rider complied, putting me down and taking on a position at the front. "Be careful. Those trees would be an excellent hiding place for a Servant."

"Got it." And with that, the Servant of the Mount drew her blade and began to walk up the steps, with myself only a few paces behind. I knew what we'd find. I really did. But I just needed to double check that this was still the same.

Then, at the very top of the steps, a man manifested out of nowhere. Clad in the purple robes of a samurai, with katana sheathed at his side. His hair blew in the wind, and he stood defiantly before the entrance to the temple.

"I am afraid that if you wish to enter, I will be required to stop you." Sasaki Kojiro confessed. "I beg that you choose to challenge me. I have been waiting for a good fight for awhile now, and you look like you know how to swing that sword."

"I do." Boudica admitted, settling into a defensive stance.

"No." I shook my head. "Now isn't the time for a fight. I've got what I wanted."

"Oh, and what is that, _boya_?" The Servant asked me.

I knew that the False Assassin was here, ergo the Witch was too. Older!Medea was about as canon as canon could be if canon could be shot from a cannon. "Tell the Witch I said hi, and that she needs better guard dogs."

Assassin began to cackle, unable to hold back his laughter. "Sure, I'll tell her. Though, I'm afraid that I will have to get you back for that last comment when we fight. I eagerly await your return."

And he did. Sasaki was a man who longed only for the thrill of battle, to make his Wraithlike existence meaningful through his skills. He could see it in my eyes- he knew that I _would_ return.

XXXXXXXXXX

It was at the dead of night, when the moon was as its brightest and I was in the arms of my Servant, that I saw her. She was beautiful and deadly, and stood waiting in the road before our hotel for us. I recognised her- how could I not? She was a very distinctive character, and was most well-known for how bullshit-ridiculous her Class was.

Jeanne d'Arc waited for me before my temporary abode, as if she had been loitering there for hours- patiently knowing I'd return.

"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Aberration." She greeted us, smiling ever so slightly, while I quickly pulled myself from Boudica's grip. Her eyes were like knives- it felt like I was being judged and analysed on a microscopic level, as if she could see past each and every façade I put forwards. But there was also a kindness to her from the act, as if she only wished to see in order to fix. Such was the nature of a saint-like person.

" _Huh!? Who the heck is that! I didn't sense her at all! It's as if my detection spell just skimmed right over her!"_ Medea shouted, unaware of just how on point she was. Motherfucking EX Magic Resistance, after all.

"I'd like to say the same." Very much so. Jeanne d'Arc was a true Hero by any other name, and there wasn't a bad bone in her body. Unfortunately, the problem was that I was meeting her to begin with.

 _Ruler should not appear in the Fuyuki Holy Grail Wars_.

"In my defence, it's not like I _meant_ to break the rules by having the potential to summon seven Servants." I felt the need to protest under the weight of that gaze. "Honestly, I would have left Fuyuki without a second glance and stayed clear of the War if I had the chance. I was just… well…"

"Unlucky." Concluded Ruler, knowingly. "It is truly not your fault that you are here after all. Here you are though, all the same."

"Excuse me, but would you please identify your Class?" My Rider demanded, as politely as she could.

"Of course. I am Servant Ruler. I had assumed you knew me, considering how your Master already did."

"There is no such Class." Argued Boudica.

" _Yeah! I think I'd know if there was such a Class, considering I'm a Caster and what not!"_

"I'm afraid there is." I told her. "If the Holy Grail is a War, then Ruler is the 'gamesmaster'- a laidback one happy to let the game progress as it wants, but only for as long as the players aren't being cheating Munchkins about the whole thing. If this was an MMORPG, she's the horribly OP character the GM's use to punish someone for cheating with. Honestly, she's broken as fuck, and she shouldn't be here."

" _Master… what's going on? How do you know this? How do you know her?"_ Caster asked, though I could not respond.

"Then again, none of us here should be." Ruler concluded sadly.

You know, it was a shame that she was being so damn nice about all this. It kinda made it hard for me to dislike her, considering she was likely here to kill me since I was an 'Aberration'. "Just one quick question. Are you here to kill us or not?"

She shook her head.

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Then what _are_ you here for?"

"To warn you."

"And isn't _that_ just ominous." I grumbled. "I mean really, you can never just be here for a chat and a cup of tea."

"I'll never understand the British obsession with tea." She sighed. "But no. I am Ruler. I am here on business, though I wish you no ill will."

"Ruler…" Boudica began, tasting the unfamiliar title in her mouth. "I ask of you, why are you here? What is your warning?"

"To prepare yourself. And to summon your Servants, Aberration. You may not have wished to participate, but the fact remains is that through unknown means you have infiltrated the Holy Grail War, and in doing so have become a threat to the ritual itself. Consequently, a state of Apocrypha has been announced. It has been decided: teams of Blue and Red shall fight for the Holy Grail, and work individually to eliminate the anomalous Grey Team. The Command Seals have been dispatched, the Church representative has been warned and is preparing to alert the Blue team, having already passed along the changes in circumstances to the Red team, and now little time remains."

Each and every word she spoke was like another slap to the face. My worst fear was realised- the thing I wanted to happen the least has occurred. Apocrypha: seven more Masters, seven more unknown Servants, and far more chances for the plot to go off the rails. The stations of canon are on the verge of demolition, for there would be no way of predicting how things would change with so many new pieces on the board.

There was just one thing I had to check. A single fact I needed to know before we move on.

"Ruler, there is one more thing I need to ask." I interrupted the French girl.

"Of course- ask what you will." She replied pleasantly, with a doting look of acceptance.

"Is the Grail Corrupt? Is it a chalice filled with all of mankind's Evils, or is it not?" At this point in time, I was almost certain. I hadn't seen any non-canonical details so far, and I doubted they'd only crop up now. But I had to be certain. I needed to _know_.

Joan of Arc gave me the most radiant smile imaginable. "Have no fear, Aberration. For a Miracle has occurred. The Fuyuki Greater Grail… is _clean_."

My smile split my face, and I couldn't hold back the fact that I had tears of relief at the corners of my eyes. There was no Angra Mainyu. _There was no Angra Mainyu_. There would be no end of the world here today! I didn't hold the burden of humanities future upon my back. I didn't have to worry about making sure the world was saved. If Atlas were able to put down his load of the sky, he wouldn't be half as relieved as I presently were.

"Rejoice, Master of the Holy Grail War, for the chance for a miracle rests within the palms of your hands. The situation is unusual, and your presence a complication, but I cannot judge one with a wish they sincerely wish to see fulfilled unless it could destroy the world. Rejoice, for there is not one wish on the line now… but potentially _three_."

It was funny. The original core concept of Fate Stay Night that attracted me was the wishes. People fighting by the sides of legends to claim a wish, desperate to see a miracle come to fruition. Yet, this concept had been distorted over time. Every time I rewatched the series, or read some new fanfiction, I could only consider the corruption. The dreams and wishes were unimportant- they could never be fulfilled with such a Monkey's Paw granting them.

And yet, now… "Now… this is a game that can afford to be won. This is no longer a struggle of man against All The World's Evils, but merely man against man."

"Yes. You may pursue victory without fear, Aberration. The Grail may oppose you and call forth enemies to vanquish you, and may be actively willing to reward those that bring you low… but if you overcome them… then the Grail will absolutely grant you a miracle."

With her warning delivered, and her purpose fulfilled, Servant Ruler turned away without another word and began to walk away into the night. It had taken but a single conversation to shatter my entire perception of this war.

Apocrypha.

The Clean Grail.

The Grail War returned to its purest ideal, a War for a wish…

… and perhaps a problem that while not as world threatening as the end of the world, was still just as problematic.

"Oh no." I whispered. "Ahh… shit."

Because _there was no corruption in the Greater Grail_. There was nothing stopping someone making a clean, untainted wish with no consequences. Consequently…

 _Why would anybody agree to stop fighting the Holy Grail War?_

When Angra Mainyu was in play, it was far easier to get a 'Good Ending' for everyone, since everybody needed to unite together against a common threat. Since the Grail could not grant a wish without destruction, it therefore needed to be destroyed, and meant that there was no need to kill each other for said wish. Everyone could give up and go home, because nobody was dumb enough to want to wish upon the cursed chalice (While those that _were_ could be killed, leaving the majority of people we actually care about untouched)

But hold on- didn't we just clarify that _Angra Mainyu was gone?_

"Thus, we are fucked."

People will do anything for a wish, to get that miracle they desire oh so much. The Fourth War had proved that much. And now there will be 21 Servants total for the Fifth War. If it takes six Servants to fuel a wish, and seven to reach Akasha, then that means there are three total wishes on offer (If the last seven standing were also willing to fight to the death too).

This War may not lead to the death of the world, but it likely _will_ end with the deaths of most of its competitors, for nothing is more preciously sought after than a Miracle.

"We are about to enter the bloodiest Fuyuki Grail War since its conception. This is gonna be a _massacre_."


	6. Red Team Interlude

**AN- well, things are heating up.**

 **Now it's time for something completely different.**

 **Oh yes- in other news, kudo's to DarkLord98, who has been making Command Seal images for me. (Alas, only for folks on SB or SV. No interlinking allowed for , after all)**

 **Red Team Interlude**

The woman barely looked up as her butler entered the room. She paid him no mind, and only continued her vigorous workout against the punching bag. Luvia enjoyed the exercise, and relished the chance to practice. Then, with a Reinforced kick she broke the bag- hitting it with enough force to rupture it and shatter the chain that kept it suspended.

The butler approached with his tray, and Luvia took the offered towel without a word of thanks. It was the typical way her training ended, after all, and her payment was enough thanks.

"Reginald, have you confirmed the validity of our suspicions?" Luvia asked the greying man, eventually.

"Yes ma'am. Your feelers in the Clock Tower have reported back, and we believe that this is not a hoax."

"It's true then? The Holy Grail War really is here?"

He nodded. "More than likely. It sounds like this War is abnormal in both its earliness and in its roster, but a War never the less. And you are a competitor, as the Command Seals prove."

"Ohoh! Excellent!" Luvia smiled triumphantly, looking down to her hand for a moment- as if checking that the Seals were still there. They were. She hadn't wanted to get her hopes up, but if the Fuyuki Grail War truly _had_ selected her as a competitor…

"Are you certain you wish to participate, ma'am? No offense intended, but the Edelfelt family did _not_ fare well during the Third War."

Luvia flinched, despite herself. She didn't much like thinking about the fallout of the Third War in her family. There had been a reason her grandmother had left Japan and vowed never to return there again. "Well, I shall do far better than my ancestors did! Besides which, this is a perfect opportunity to get back at those damned Tohsakas! They are always picked, are they not?"

"Indeed, ma'am." The butler had given his warnings- he was obligated to do no more than that.

"Excellent! We must begin preparations at once! For one thing, the War has already begun, and I _must_ summon my Servant! But I shall accept only the best! I believe I shall have to speak to my contacts, see what I can find!"

"And whom would you wish to Summon?"

She pondered for a moment. "I would love to have Saber. I think I shall try for a Knight. Didn't Malke of the Archaeological faculty brag that his division had gotten their grubby little mits upon a shard of the Round Table? Who knows? Perhaps I could even snag King Arthur, ohohoh!"

Luvia would summon the strongest Servant she could, and then she would go to Fuyuki City and repay the loss of face her family had been dealt during the Third War.

XXXXXXXXXX

Waver Velvet, now known as the Lord El Melloi II, had thought he had been dreaming when he first noticed the red pattern that adorned the back of his hand- the shapes different, and yet oh so similar. The last time he had seen such a sight was ten years ago, after all, in a time of his life he had thought he had left behind long ago.

And yet, here they were. Command Seals. It was a simple truth that couldn't be denied, even if Waver wanted to.

The Holy Grail War was back, and it had arrived fifty years early.

Waver had heard rumours on the grape vine- whispers of the Einzberns seeking new catalysts and of a braggart who had claimed to possess a Heroic Spirit before disappearing from the eyes of the Clock Tower altogether. He'd taken those rumours with a pinch of salt- but now, he wasn't so sure.

And when he found that the woman who was truly the head of the Archibald family also had a set of Command Seals…

Well, he knew that it was time for him to prepare.

Luckily, he didn't need to track down an artefact to use to summon a strong Servant. He still kept his first catalyst, sealed inside a box within his desk.

He couldn't be blamed for trying to bring back his old friend, one last time, could he? Waver knew that the Servant he summoned wouldn't be _his_ Rider- not the idiot that laughed and joked with him, and taught him to pursue his dreams.

But- it would be close enough.

"Servant Rider, I am your Master… and also your humble follower." Waver spoke, formally, his head bowed before his newly summoned Servant. In a way, despite all these years he'd spent advancing as a Magus, Waver was still the same boy he had been back in the Fourth War. And… he was almost scared to see his Rider look at him without comprehension in his eyes. "You will likely not remember me, but I just want to say that it's an _honour_ to have you here, and together we WILL win the Grail."

"Heh. Raise your head, Waver Velvet." The gruff voice spoke, saying the words that Waver had dreamed of but never truly expected. "Did you really think I'd forget about you? About one who had fought by my side, and pledged to stand beside me in Ionioi Hetairoi!?"

"R-rider?" Waver asked, looking up to the smiling man. He in turn offered out a beefy, muscular hand to his Master.

"Aye. It's me. You can stop _gawking_ already." Then, with a massive tug he pulled the Magus to his feet- who could only beam happily at the Conqueror.

"It's only been a minute, and already I feel the years draining away." Admitted Waver.

"You look different." Isklander commented. "Why, I think you've gotten taller!"

"Idiot!" Waver yelled, whacking his Servant in a familiar display of affection. "I… I did it though. What we agreed. I told your story, and I became an excellent Magus."

The Conqueror hadn't doubted that he would, and said as much.

"Hmmph." A third voice cut through the conversation. Standing at the door to the workshop was another Magus, stern and blonde, with a blue coat and a dark hat. "So, this is your Rider from the Fourth War? He doesn't look like much."

"Oh, and who's this, Waver?" Rider asked, teasingly.

Waver rolled his eyes at his Servants antics. "This is Reines El Melloi Archisorte. I suppose you could call her both my student and my younger step-sister. I agreed to take responsibility for her family's collapse due to my own role in it."

"Ah! She looks like that Master we once fought! That arrogant fop who had a vendetta against you!" Triumphantly exclaimed the Servant. "What was his name?"

"Kayneth El Melloi Archibald." Reines answered sharply.

"Anyway, Waver, can I assume that she is to be a Master in this war too?"

Waver nodded his head, while Reines displayed the back of her hand as her own proof. "She has a Command Seal too. We have agreed to work together."

"That works with me! Any student of Waver is as good as a friend to me too!" And then he boisterously laughed.

"You really are a brute, aren't you?" She cut down his attempts at friendliness with the cold temperament of ice. "I do hope that the attitude of my own Servant is far superior."

Waver shared a private smile with his Servant. "Oh, I don't know. Servants have a way of surprising their Masters. Speaking of which, when are you Summoning?"

"Tomorrow. The delivery is scheduled to arrive then." Truly, it had been inconvenient trying to get a catalyst at short notice. It had been quite lucky that the Archibald's still had contacts in Greece, and it was even luckier the man in question claimed he could get it at short notice.

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I have news. From the Moderator of the War." Reines reached into her pocket and retrieved a wrapped scroll, which she handed to her fellow Master. He took it and wordlessly read it, before spluttering in surprise at the contents. He then obeyed the wordless cue and handed it off to his muscular Servant.

"Ohoh? This Grail War is to be a team based event? How interesting! Perhaps I might even find some worthy allies in my quest to conquer the world!" Islkander laughed. "Truly, this is going to be enjoyable! I look forward to meeting the rest of this 'Red Team'."

XXXXXXXXXX

The meeting room was dark and ornate, much as the majority of the Clock Tower was. The meeting had been called at extremely short notice, but it had been deemed necessary once the news had been delivered by the moderator of Fuyuki. It was just luck that so many of them had been in London at the time of the summons, and so were in a position to attend.

This would be the first meeting of the Red Team.

Four people would be attending in total, and the first had arrived an hour prematurely. He felt it prudent to ensure he arrived first- if only so he could better slip into the role of 'leader'. He had already looked into the other Masters and was certain that he was the most senior member of the Clock Tower attending. Surely, he had the best qualifications to lead them on their expedition for the Holy Grail, and more importantly, a route to the Root?

He had truly thought pursuing the Root to be a fruitless endeavour, but now that a potential route was so close… how could he _not_ try for it?

"Cornelius Alba." The second person called out, upon entering the room. "It's nice to see you again."

"You too, Bram Nuada-Re Sophia-Ri." Alba replied with a cruel smirk. "Last time I saw you, weren't you still crying your eyes out because your precious sister and brother in law had died?"

Bram narrowed his eyes at the elder Magus. "How about yourself? Are you still sulking over your ineptness in comparison to a certain Puppetmaker?"

Outwardly, Alba did not react. However, were one to look closer, they would have seen his eyebrow twitch, ever so slightly, while the index finger on his right hand tapped anxiously against his leg. Bram noticed. "I am fine. In fact, I am joyous. Are we not close to a Miracle?"

"Indeed. This Heavens Feel… I look forwards to crushing the opposition." Bram offered his own cruel smile. Normally, the redhead was amiable, and tended to act like the prettyboy that he looked like, but he _was_ still a Magus. One couldn't rise as high in the Mages Association as he had, without a willingness to push his rivals under the metaphorical bus.

"Oh my, are we arguing already?" came the sweet voice of a woman. Bram turned back, to see that the third Master of the Red Team had arrived. A pretty, young blonde in a blue dress (Though very different in temperament to another Master of the Red Team); she curtsied politely and gestured for Bram to move out the way. He narrowed his eyes but complied. He took a seat at the table, much as Alba already was.

"Haruhi Borzak, it is a pleasure to meet your acquaintance."

The Witch giggled demurely, her hand placed against her face so as to display her Seals and took her own place at the table. "Save your flirtations, Alba. We are here on business, are we not?"

"Indeed. I believe we should start this meeting, since the allocated time has passed, and I refuse to wait for latecomers." Alba smiled charmingly.

"Who says that you're leading the meeting?" Bram countered, with a pointed finger from his Sealed hand. "Is it not true that you are the only one of the three of us who has yet to Summon a Servant?"

It galled Alba to admit it, but Bram was not wrong. Alba was still awaiting his catalyst, whereas Haruhi had chosen to roll the dice and summon a Servant based on compatibility alone. Meanwhile, Bram took great pleasure in reminding everyone how quickly he had been able to scavenge his own regent. Alba did have to concede that it was a momentously difficult thing to obtain at short notice- the knife used to murder Julius Caesar himself.

"In terms of experience as a Magi, I am the most senior." Alba sneered.

"But in terms of combat, I believe I am superior, am I not?" a new voice interrupted. The three turned to the door- where the fourth Master appeared. Forte- an Enforcer of the Mage's Association, and a rising star at that. Both a strong combatant and a potent researcher, she was one of the few Mages to be trusted by the Enforcers, yet also one of the few Enforcers respected by the Magi. She walked the thin line between them, and she walked it well.

Rumours suggested she was being groomed for the position of Head Enforcer. Alba took little notice of rumours- especially since he was pretty sure Forte had started half of them herself.

"How nice of you to join us. Though, you are a little late." Haruhi noted.

"My apologies. My flight from France was late." With her crimson emblazoned hand, she gestured to the briefcase she was carrying. "I had to obtain my catalyst, you see?"

"And just who will you be summoning? I doubt they will nearly as impressive as my own Servant." Bragged Bram.

"Perhaps not as famous as _him_ , but I believe my own will be far more capable of killing. Between the two of us, I know who will be claiming more kills in this war." Then, Forte opened the case, to reveal a long shard of metal.

"And where does that come from?"

"A guillotine." She replied.

"You seek an Assassin Class Servant, and not even that of a Hassan?" Alba scoffed. "I suppose it fits an uncultured savage, such as yourself."

"I assume that a Caster would be the only Class _worthy_ of fighting for you, then?" She drawled.

Alba said nothing- but she had hit the nail on the head.

Haruhi cleared her throat. "As much as I _love_ to see you fight amongst each other, perhaps we should get on with it? If we wish to win the Grail, then we cannot spend it all squabbling."

"You have a point." Bram muttered. "As much as I dislike it, we must work together if we hope to get our Wish."

Forte reluctantly agreed. "If only the other three were here too. It's difficult to talk strategy without knowing all our cards."

"The Archibald's are getting ahead of themselves if they believe they can afford to skip this." Alba snorted, eager to pin blame. In truth, the head of the El Melloi and the one appointed as her proxy until she came of age had been called away due to complications in sending the catalyst, and so had gone in person to retrieve the package and Summon the Servant in the place where they would be strongest.

Cornelius Alba was unwilling to share this information, however. It made it easier to sow division amidst his 'allies'.

"Now, I believe we should start discussion. And I would like to begin. Because I _already_ have a plan." Alba interlinked his fingers and put them before his face to mask the smirk he was blatantly showing. "I think you are going to like it."


	7. Chapter 6

**AN- another day, another chapter. Back to our regularly scheduled viewing- the process known as Disposal of Trash.**

 **Chapter 6**

 _An innocent youth. A princess that wanted for nought, and had a heart wide enough to care for all in return. She grew up on a beautiful island, where the crops grew strong and the wine flowed like a river and tasted of happiness. All made possible by one thing- a magnificent Golden Fleece._

 _As a child, she loved all, and was cherished by all in turn. Even the gods took a liking to her, though it could be argued whether this was a positive thing or not. Hecate personally came to teach the princess the ways of magic, and in turn the princess learned._

 _She wanted to protect, to grow and to heal- to be the kind of Witch that was praised for their hearts, and brought joy wherever they tread._

 _Innocent dreams have a terrible habit of breaking under the cold reality of Truth, however._

 _Good intentions are useless in the face of disaster, and even the most noble and selfless of actions can be tainted and cause only the opposite of their intention._

 _Because the gods are cruel, and care little for those broken in the process of fulfilling their petty squabbles._

 _The princess' life seemed perfect, and her future equally bright… all until Jason and his Argonauts._

 _Medea did what all girls are wonton to do- she. Fell. Ever. Deeply. In. Love._

 _And lost everything in the process._

XXXXXXXXXX

I was in a melancholic mood when I awoke. I could remember the dream in clearer detail this time, though it was very different to the last one. The Dream Cycle was a curious thing… it revealed oh so much.

It was hard to look at the napping form of the short girl besides me without feeling sad, knowing exactly how it was all going to end. I wasn't the only one awake- Boudica was too. She was to my right, and was just enjoying the warmth of the duvet for a while longer. She was very lucky I apparently had more Prana to give than fucks, because a sterner Master woulda said 'fuck it' and let her stay in Astral form forever rather than allowing her to enjoy the lovely comfort of MY bed.

Because shut up, its five in the goddamn morning, and we're getting up early to summon another Badass Ghost Warrior to fight for me.

It had been a unanimous decision in the end. My Servants didn't quite understand the gravity of the situation (Because I still refused to tell them), but they understood enough to see my distress. At the end of the day, Caster hadn't seen anything wrong in speeding up our schedule a little bit- consequently, early wake up and Summoning ritual.

"Morning." Murmured Boudica, face deep in her pillow.

"Morning." I grumbled back. "You know, I wonder what bet the Japanese had to lose that now they are forced as a collective population to consider this kind of time 'adequate' to wake up at?"

"Shut up. Too early. Less talking, more snuggling." And yes, it surprised me too to learn that Boudica was a snuggler; the day before, I had woken up after everyone else, so naturally couldn't learn this fact. Now if only Boudica was less soft and warm, maybe then I'd have the capacity to get up of my own accord…

BUZZ. BUZZ. BUZZ. BUZZ.

"Fucking… alarm…" the Rider growled. "Who… set that up… last night?"

"Caster." When in doubt, lie, lie a little more, and then pin the blame on somebody else. I _had_ set the alarm, since I doubted that I would ever naturally wake up at this time, so obviously needed something to kick my ass into gear. But I wasn't going to admit that when this chick had more than ten times the strength of any man, and had her arms in a key position around my torso to break my ribs if she so chose.

As if answering to the blame I had passed along, Medea awoke with a cute like yawn- with the worst case of bedhead I'd ever seen in my life. She got out of bed, and quite clearly turned the device off.

"All is forgiven. More snuggle." And with that judgement, the once Queen of Britannia chose to return to her cuddling.

Then- LIGHT!

"Hiss!" I intoned, averting my eyes. "It burns!"

"Don't be dramatic!" Medea rolled her eyes. "We have stuff to do today! A Servant to summon, and a 'clusterfuck' to prepare for, as you put it."

I had but one reply. "Never tell me the odds!"

"I… I don't even think that statement applies to this context." Medea eventually noted.

"Don't make lemonade! Make combustible lemons and throw them at life's house! What am I meant to do with these!?"

"… okay. You clearly didn't get enough sleep."

"We came in at two in the morning, and its FIVE NOW. _What the hell do you think!?_ "

"If you get up now, I'll make you a Magic Energy Drink."

… and thus, as is often the case in real life, unashamed corruption and bribery wins the day. "Boudica, time to get that booty into action."

"... Fine. I don't have to be happy about this."

I gave her the Look. "Believe me, neither of us are happy about this."

XXXXXXXXXX

The Ritual was simpler the second time I did it. I'd had a bit more time to get used to the feeling of my circulating Prana, and the almost unconscious sensation of energy flowing from my Magic Core and into my two Servants. This time, the forest of turbines spun into action with far more eagerness.

I could feel it- my power mounting and flooding once again into the circle drawn upon the floor.

"Here is my oath. I am the one who becomes all the good of the world of the dead, I am the one who lays out all the evil of the world of the dead!  
You, seven heavens clad in three words of power, arrive from the ring of deterrence, O keeper of the balance ―――!"

The glare of the ritual finished, to reveal a figure, kneeling on one knee and head bent down low so I could not see their features, as their wide blue hat obscured everything beneath. "I am Servant Saber," they spoke with a slight accent. "I ask of you, are you my Master.?"

"Rise, Saber. I am."

They did as commanded, granting me my first proper look at my third Servant.

To be honest, seeing they're entire body really didn't make it any easier to identify them. He looked like a pretty girl in clothes of delicate white, blue and lilac; or perhaps he was in truth a handsome girl dressed in the trousers of a man and armed with thin rapier.

And hell, let's not even get started on that voice. Unisex- whoever they were, they sounded lovely.

"So, may I ask why you have already surrounded yourself with other Servants, Master?" They asked.

I offered a weary smile. "You don't sound very concerned."

"Well, I am a Knight of the White Lily. Whether in life or death, no matter the circumstances, I shall continue to serve."

"Aren't you loyal?" I smiled, already pretty pleased with my newest Servant, if only due to their attitude. "I'm glad to hear it. Honestly, I could do with a… with _someone_ to help watch my back. Because this is an abnormal Grail War we've gotten ourselves into."

"How so, Master?" They inquired softly.

I began to count the whole mess off on the fingers of my Command Sealed hand. "Well, we've got 21 motherfrickin' Servants involved, for one thing. And for some reason, seven of them are stuck under my control, while the others have been rammed into teams. We got three potential wishes if one doesn't mind murdering the remnants of their remaining team at the end. And for the cherry on the cake, we've also got a Servant leftover from the last war to worry about too."

"Wait, WHAT!?" Medea yelled. "Since when the hell did that last thing happen!? Like, I'm pretty sure I would have remembered hearing that!"

I palmed my head calmly. "Ooops. Guess I forgot to mention that one. My bad."

"Oops? Oops? Well, perhaps you'd better enlighten us, huh?" Boudica said- no, _demanded_ , with the same smile she always wore. This was Annoyed!Boudica, the elder sibling on the verge of kicking the younger's ass for well-deserved reasons.

"Weeeelll… Gilgamesh the King of Heroes, may or may not have been swallowed by All the Worlds Evil's during the last War and spat out again with a physical body… and may or may not be kinda homicidal now… and also, he may or may not be liable to murder us all on the spot because he's an unreasonable asshole capable of destroying the entire city if given inadequate cause."

"May or may not?" She reaffirmed. "Inadequate cause?"

"Well, it's all just a theory, you see." I said sheepishly. "For all I know Gilgamesh actually has breasts and is more of a threat to my virginity than he is to the worlds safety. Though, until I see him/her and can run away screaming in the opposite direction from them, I really can't say."

I couldn't tell if Boudica was more bemused or resigned at this point. "Sometimes you make me wonder if it was even worth answering this silly cup's call in the first place, you really do."

A girlish giggle, for Saber laughed at us. "Well, I'm glad to see my time in this War will be filled with such interesting characters. On a mission, it's always nicer to have company. Though I am also quite worried. Gilgamesh would truly be a terrifying enemy, were we to face him."

"Thus, why I have my Plan. Heed my words, Servants mine. If you see a blonde jackass with red eyes, run away screaming like a little girl and push some people over between you and him to further delay him."

Medea cocked her head. "Aren't you exaggerating just a little bit? While a mighty legend, he is still but one man, while we will someday be seven. Surely with given preparation and in sufficient numbers we could overwhelm him all the same."

I gave her a mad little laugh. "Maybe if he was any other ridiculously bullshit Servant I'd agree." I'mma looking at you, Karna. "But considering he has a sword that can 'LOL Nope' reality I would _really_ prefer to never, ever have to fight him."

Saber frowned. "Truly a dilemma. He is a foe that will need to be defeated, but the consequences of him choosing to force a mutual loss upon his defeat is too great. Alas, I would be little help in a scenario like that, and I guess the rest of you are in the same boat. Perhaps caution is required in this case. There will be 14 other Servants that could fight him. Mayhaps one of them might be able to defeat him for us?"

"We have met someone that fits the bill." I admitted. "It might just have to be a case of 'leave it to GARCHER.'."

Boudica raised an eyebrow. "You don't mean that Tohsaka girl's ghastly Servant?"

"Afraid so. Speaking of which, why do you seem to dislike him so much?" I asked her. She'd been hostile to the Counter Guardian from the moment she first laid eyes upon him, and I was a little bit curious about that.

"At first it was just because you blatantly didn't like him, because he was an enemy and since his Master was rather irritating. But then… I think I realised he was just someone that I would never get along with. His blades were just as bloody as mine, but I couldn't sense any purpose behind them. There was no end goal, only blood for more blood. That man… he can never find peace, can he?"

I shook my head sadly. At the end of the day, he was a Counter Guardian. The cursed dog of Alaya, doomed to eternally clean up the messes of humanity and kill forevermore, despite only wishing to Save. He would have been better off signing his soul to the Devil- it may have been a kinder end. I wouldn't wish EMIYA's fate upon my worst enemy.

"Hey Master… I have a question." Medea piped up.

"Sure, what is it?" I turned to her. Her gaze was more serious than I expected- there was steel in those eyes of hers.

"What are you hiding from us?"

I blinked. "Pardon? What do you mean by that?"

"Don't play dumb with me." She sighed. "I know I look all cutesy and dumb, but I'm not. I'm a _really_ good Magus, and you don't get that by being dumb. And while I may have the body and personality I had in my youth, it doesn't change the fact that I am still _Medea, the Witch of Betrayal_ , who lived for decades and was eventually burned at the stake for her crimes."

"… yeah, sometimes I forget that fact, considering how adorable you are."

She puffed her cheeks out in anger- she was not amused. "Complementing me won't make me forget, you know? You know too much- things you shouldn't. I've seen your documents, you only just moved here, so you shouldn't have known so much about all the other Masters- _could not_ have known all their identities. Then there was Ruler- there was no possible way that you could know about her, because as you said, _Ruler should not appear in the Fuyuki Grail Wars_ , and there have been no other Grail Wars besides the Fuyuki ones. And all those other cryptic little things. The Corruption in the Grail, your panic over the Apocrypha, Gilgamesh's continued existence… even just now with Archer! How could you possibly know he could face off and beat _Gilgamesh_ considering we've only met him once and haven't even seen him fight!"

She took a deep breath, having finally presented all of her evidence. Then, she approached me, and looked me dead in the eye (Though from her much lower position due to her height, it seemed more adorable than terrifying). "In other words, I want you to tell us, Master, _how do you know all this impossible knowledge!?_ "

Honest chuckling broke through the tense silence that hung in the air following that last statement. Saber could do nothing but laugh at this entire scenario. "Yes. Oh, so interesting allies! I must admit Magus girl, you are quite perceptive, are you not! I would have loved to have made a Chevalier of a girl like you!"

"Who are you anyway, might I add?" Boudicia asked. "I don't think you've introduced yourself."

"Neither have you." They pointed out. "Though I have picked up Medea and James from this conversation."

"I am Boudicia."

Saber smiled radiantly. "There we go, that wasn't so hard, was it? I am Chevalier d'Eon, the Knight of the White Lily, and the most famous of French spies."

"GEEEEZ! STOP IGNORING ME!" Medea pouted, and stomped her foot childishly (Upon closer inspection, said stomp left a small hole in the floor. Because even E Ranked Strength is ten times stronger than peak physical health). "We were kind of in the middle of something important, over here!"

"Ahh, yes!" I snapped my fingers, recalling that we _had_ been doing something before. "She was trying to uncover my Mysterious Backstory!"

She rapidly nodded her head. "See!? He admits it! There's a backstory there just _waiting_ for us to learn!"

"I for one think it doesn't matter." Boudica interjected.

"Wh-what!?" Medea exclaimed in total shock. "B-but w-why!? Surely you don't want to be lied to!"

"No, but as a ruler, there are some truths you learn. One of them is that sometimes people keep secrets for very good reasons. I am sure that is something Lily over there can agree with."

"Lily?" Saber replied in abject confusion at the name assigned to them.

"Well, I am fairly sure Chevalier is a title, not a name. I would hardly like to be called Warrior Queen, would I?" the redhead giggled.

"Ah. That makes sense. Feel free to refer to me by the name Lily." The newly dubbed Lily said. "But yes, I agree with your initial statement. Some secrets are best kept hidden. My gender, for one thing."

"But that's preposterous! How could keeping secrets ever be a _good thing?_ "

"Now, that's quite enough of that." I said, with as much authority a guy could have when trying calm down a herd of superpowered cats. "Those two have a good point, but so do you, Medea."

I turned to address them all- this was a message to all of my Servants. "Medea is correct, I am still hiding something. One secret that explains pretty much everything, but is also kind of difficult to believe." After all, nobody likes to be told that they belong to a fictional franchise and that the only reason for such 'impossible knowledge' was abject fanboyism.

"As my Servants, the people who are fighting this was for me, you _do_ have a right to know. You deserve to know. I _have_ been keeping it to myself for good reasons, but the point remains. So, I'll give you all a choice. I can tell you it now, or you can accept that I'm keeping it secret for the best of reasons, and let it go. Then, when I summon next, we can ask the question again, and you can decide if you want to hear it or not."

"That seems pointlessly complicated." Noted Lily.

Boudica frowned. "It is your secret. It's your choice whether to reveal it or not, though I would be happy to leave it be. You can count on my support either way, Master."

"And you, Medea?" I popped the question to the one who had prompted this whole discussion in the first place.

For the first time since we began, there was hesitation on her face. "Do you mean it? That we can ask again every time you Summon?"

"Yes."

"Then… then… I'll leave it be for now." It almost pained her to say it, to let go of the opportunity to find out more. At heart, Medea is a perfect housewife… so consequently, a perfect gossip. To let slip such a Secret was surely a terribly painful thing to do.

"Seriously- thanks for that. I wasn't exactly looking forwards to spilling the beans, let's put it that way. I'll no doubt share the truth eventually, but I certainly would prefer some time to be able to properly word it in a way that doesn't sound mad."

"I think I can accept that." And with that, the matter was closed. The topic of my Mysterious Backstory would have to wait, if only for another day.

"Hey, what were we doing before this came up anyway?" I asked. "We seem to keep getting distracted."

"Oh my, I've completely forgotten. Fufufu." The redhead really didn't seem to care too much. "I'm honestly just happy to see that we've resolved that for now. There is nothing I like more than the sky and earth of Britannia, and the bonds that people share. I… enjoy these peaceful moments the most, I think."

"I suppose I can agree with you on that point, at the very least." Medea admitted. "Those carefree days… they never last."

The newest addition to the group, Chavlier d'Eon, coughed into his loudly. Our attentions snapped to the blonde. "Perhaps we were going to talk strategy?" they suggested lightly.

"Good point. Kudos to you for getting us back on track." He got the certified Thumbs Up. Its special because its capitalised. "Tactics and stuff. We number three now, and we likely won't have long before the Red team finally reaches Fuyuki. Likewise, Ruler said that Kotomine was preparing to tell the Blue team about the change in circumstances. Soon they _will_ be coming for us."

At that, the good cheer drained from the room- wasn't _that_ a cheery thought. "At the moment, we have two close combatants and one ranged." Boudica mused. "I think now is the time to explain our powersets, since our Master still has yet to learn how to read our 'Stats'."

A round of agreements. As the first to suggest it, Boudica went first. "I am Boudica, the Warrior Queen of Victory who waged war against Rome when they tried to conquer Britannia. Consequently, I have a personal Skill, Oath to the Goddess, which will grant me bonuses against any Romans we come across. Likewise, I gain bonuses when fighting in a group, and am capable of fighting to the bitter end, thanks to my A Rank skill in Battle Continuation. My mount of choice is a Chariot that can either be rode or manifested as a conceptual shield. In combat, I am better defensively due to my high Endurance but low Agility."

"I suppose I shall go next then." Lily bowed, as if they were taking centre stage of a performance. "I am both a spy and a fighter, therefore my stats are consistently high. I have a good eye for the progress of battle and am greatly resistant to mental attacks. I would serve better on the vanguard, attacking our foes directly."

"And your Noble Phantasm?" Medea pressed.

"Fleur de Lys, the manifestation of my captivating fighting style." Lily replied. "Unfortunately, it is all flash and little bang. Compared to many other Sabers, my Noble Phantasm is unfortunately lacking." No Excaliblasts for us, it seemed. "It does have the ability to perform 'dances' capable of lowering the physical parameters of my enemy and leaving them unable to move, so it does serve as a good supplement for my base combat abilities. My Noble Phantasm is a rather cheap one too… though with the current rate of prana intake I'm receiving, I believe that last point is largely irrelevant."

Large nods of agreement all round. I was an overall useless Master, with no skills as a Magus and even less experience, but I DID have a ridiculous Magic Core. Sometimes it really is all about the size, and less how you use it.

"Ah! My turn, I suppose." Medea began, then started to tap her chin as if wondering where to begin. "In many ways, I am a standard 'Caster' archetype. Low physical stats, high Mana, and with great support ability due to my Territory Creation and Item Creation skills."

"Yup. Those have been very useful." I said, tapping my neck to emphasise the defensive charm I was still wearing.

She flushed, but carried on. "A-anyway. I'm a very competent Magus, so I do have a lot of spells at my command. I prefer healing and am better in a supportive, defensive role. However, my High Speed Divine Words Skill lets me cast extremely quickly, meaning I do still have some potent offensive capabilities. As for my Noble Phantasm… Pain Breaker has an excellent healing ability."

I nodded my head in satisfaction- thoroughly satisfied with what I had to work with. There was nobody special here- I'd argue that all my Servants were relatively low tier when compared to some of the insane Servants out there like Gilgamesh and Ozymandius. A Rider with relatively little offensive capability and a mount that wasn't Broken; a fairly standard Caster without the Ridiculous Noble Phantasm of her elder self; and a Saber without the Unfair Beam Swords that the Class is known for.

The Grey Team, in other words, were the underdogs. Without catalysts, the chances for a truly special Servant were non-existent, so we've remained fairly low in the power scale. Alone, my Servants aren't especially special… but together… "We have a defensive Tank, an offensive DPS and a Healer. I think we'll be fine."

"Ummm… are those good things?" Medea inquired with a confused look.

"Very much so." They weren't much, but damn it, they were MY Servants, and even the lowest of Heroic Spirits was better than the highest of Mankind. It was a Team Game now, was it not?

… and I doubted that any of the other Masters were very used to 'playing nice' and working together.

"You know what? Fuck the school day. I was originally gonna try and talk to Shioru, but screw that guy!"

"Who's Shirou again?" Medea said to Boudica, quietly, though not so softly I didn't hear.

"But yeah! Screw him. He's basically useless anyway. And screw school. Since we no longer need to personally avert the End of Days, I think we've got to focus on the important things… namely, living through this mess, and maybe even winning it. And a big part of that is gonna be 'let's gang up and hit it until it dies'."

Medea raised a hand, as if she were a schoolgirl seeking answers from her teacher. "That sounds like a terrible plan."

I rolled my eyes. "Trust me. The point is, we're at a very special point, here and now. Before I said to play on the backburner because I needed info and was more interested in getting the right parties talking and uniting to help me murder All the Evil in the World, but that's been taken care of on the down low… somehow." Because if Jeanne the Saint says it's true, then it's probably pretty damn true. "So, now it's a Team Game… but one of the Teams' doesn't know that yet!"

The Queen of Victory's eyes opened in realisation. "Oh, I see now! Divide and conquer, and strike now before they get the chance to unite!"

"I don't really want to kill anyone." I admitted. "But I'm not a dumbass either. There's no stopping this War, not now that so many people have gotten involved. So, we're just gonna have to win. And I can't win without getting my hands dirty."

"What is your suggestion then, Master?" Lily inquired.

By now, an idea was starting to come together. It wasn't much- but it was an idea, never the less. I gave my Saber a shaky smile, and spoke as confidently as I could, "Let's try and pick off at least one of the competition now, before things heat up too much. In other words… we should take first blood. Tonight, the Blue Team will lose one of its members."


	8. Chapter 7

**AN- Welp. Another day, another chapter. Let's see what happens now…**

 **Chapter 7**

Well then. A plan had been decided. It was time for us to reduce the number of competitors taking part in this Holy Grail War- in other words, I'd decided to put the Grey Team on the offensive.

Step 1: Moar Reconnaissance. It's all well and good deciding to attack someone, but it's kind of silly unless you know WHERE they are gonna be. I had left this in the capable hands of my Saber- they'd once been a spy, so I figured sneaking into Homuhara Academy and sneaking out the personal addresses of Matou, Emiya and Tohsaka would be child's play.

Step 2: Personal Preparation. Due to the rules of the War, secrecy _must_ be retained. Therefore, night time battles were our only real option for not pulling aside the Masquerade and making this situation even more explosive. This left me with a full afternoon of time that I refused to waste. Time to visit the library, and perhaps even try out this whole 'Magus' thing a little more. Kotomine had left two tomes for me, and I'd hardly learnt everything from within them…

XXXXXXXXXX

[ _"What are you looking for?"_ ] Rider asked mentally, all the while hidden in her Astral form beside me. I'd been looking through the shelves for some time now but hadn't had much luck. I didn't really want to bother a librarian though, because that left traces of my presence here, and I didn't want to leave any hints for any other Masters that could ask after me. It would be an easy plot to conceive- naturally a Master would wish to learn more about the Servant they summon, so why not check the libraries? Not like the internet was a thing here yet.

[ _"History books. About you and the others, actually."_ ] I replied. [ _"I feel kinda guilty that out of the three of you, I'm only familiar with Medea's legend. I want to read up on you too… but no offense, I'm having difficulty finding you."_ ]

[ _"Awwww. I'm glad you want to learn about little old me. If you ARE looking for me though, then you're looking in the wrong time period. The sixth century is too late. Check out the first."_ ]

XXXXXXXXXX

"You call that a circle!? Look at it! That's more of an oval than anything! And don't even get me started on those symbols!" Medea chided, sternly waggling her finger at me while I floundered.

"Come on!" I begged, desperation in my eyes and tone. "Give me a break! I'm a newbie after all! I've been doing this for hours, and my hands are one gesture from snapping off! It's just a basic containment circle; it's not like it's going to explode if my symbols are a few inches off!"

"Exactly!" She screeched like the banshee of Irish mythos. "It's so basic that you have _no excuses_ for failing at it so miserably!"

Every word was an arrow through my heart, ever exclamation just one more stomp upon my already bruised and broken ego. "M-mercy!" I begged.

"No mercy!" By now, she had grabbed my shirt and was shaking me backwards and forwards with every word. "To be a Magus is to walk with death! Now read the page a bit closer _and try again_!" With a wave of her hands, my chalk circle evaporated, leaving me back at square one.

I shuddered as I turned my attention back to the book. Perhaps it was time for a break and to move away from basic Formalcraft? _"Geez. I think I've finally found the only thing that scares me more than Older!Medea… Sensei!Medea."_

XXXXXXXXXX

"Well you aren't _completely useless_." Medea concluded, with a teeny little nod of satisfaction.

I could only look incredulously at her. "Thanks. I guess. I mean, it's not like I only started this magic business a day ago and that it's a miracle enough that I haven't accidentally exploded myself yet, or something."

"Don't be silly. This Magecraft you have been casting is so pathetic that the only way you could have possibly hurt yourself would have been misusing your Magic Core and giving yourself a stroke."

"What have I said about _positive reinforcement?_ " Warned Boudica, finally deciding to butt in. Lily had been busy all day tracking down the information I wanted and double-checking things for me, while Medea had taken point in trying to teach me Magecraft for Dummies. This left Boudica with little to do but lounge about and try to play mediator/Big-Sis between us.

"I'm _tryyinnng_." Moaned the Caster. "It's not my fault that Magi today are useless."

The redhead raised an eyebrow and pointed knowingly at her. "Yes, but not everyone is a Magus from the _Age of the Gods_ and was _personally taught by Hecate_."

"Yeah!" I agreed, finally happy that someone was in my corner. "Your standards are too high, lady!"

She crossed her arms angrily and huffed. "Fine. I suppose I can forgive you for your shoddy work."

At this, I frowned. "As I said, it's a miracle almost on the level of Heavens Feel that I can cast anything at all."

"Finally managing to perceive your Servants stats in a form you can recognise is _not_ a valid achievement- it's the absolute minimum a Master should be capable of."

"I repeat. _You have really high standards._ "

"Yes! I do! And damn it, if I'm going to have to sit here and watch you blunder through Magecraft, then it's the least I can do to ensure that you do it right!" She huffed.

"Awww!" Cooed Boudica, tugging at Medea's cheeks while she struggled futilely against the gesture. "Isn't she adorable!? She just wants to help!"

"The Japanese call this thing, a 'Tsundere'." I informed her, using the fabled air quotations.

"I am _not_ a Tsundere! Whatever one of them is!" She insisted.

KNOCK, KNOCK.

I turned to the door, sensing a magical connection between the one on the other side of the door.

"You don't need to knock, Saber. Hell, you're a phantasmal existence! You don't even need to use the door and can just phase through it!"

Saber did as I instructed, opening the door and falling to one knee in her customary greeting. "I am a Knight, and I have agreed to serve. Ergo, I must be respectful."

It was kind of scary how much exercise my eyebrows were getting from rolling, these days. Someday soon those brows of mine would be strong enough to lift weights, at this rate. "Anyway, did you get it done?"

"Yes. I obtained all the addresses." Lily informed me. "I was also able to follow the one you instructed, though with great difficulty. Unfortunately, since I wasn't summoned as an Assassin, I lacked the Presence Concealment Skill, so there was only so much I could do. I had to follow at a great distance, but I can conclusively say that the target has entered their home and was still there last thing I checked."

I rubbed my hands together. "Excellent… its sunset, so now we can finally move. Saber, Caster, Rider… it's time for us to kill the Rider of Blue."

XXXXXXXXXX

This time, there was no deceit involved. We weren't going to be subtle about this. Our target was Rider of Blue, Medusa the Gorgon, and dang it, we were going to get her, and her damned Worm too!

Okay- quote fell apart. But yeah. I'm a gonna try and kill two birds with one stone here. Makiri Zolgen, or Matou Zouken as he is now called, is a guy that has gotta die. One way, or another. Meanwhile, Sakura was a girl liable to ally with troublesome people- Medusa working with either Saber or Archer of Blue would be a bad outcome for me.

[ _"Now!"_ ] I commanded mentally, standing away from the house as I directed my Servants into battle.

At once, they moved. And the peace of the night was broken as suddenly as we had arrived.

"Machia Hecatia Graea!"Cried out Medea as she cast her signature Rain of Light spell. Behind her, a hundred magic circles manifested in the sky, glowing a bright purple. Then, I felt a sharp tug on my reserves as each circle released a massive beam of light straight into the Matou Mansion. Not necessarily deliberating, but the loss was noticeable. Each beam was A Ranked in terms of their power- Medea was lucky that I had so much energy to supply her.

Then, as the dust cleared to reveal the thoroughly trashed house, my Rider called upon her Noble Phantasm: "Just leave it to me! **Chariot of Boudica!** ". This time, she manifested her glorious chariot in all its splendour. She and Saber mounted it, then drove straight into the ruins.

From the rubble, a figure emerged. Rider was _pissed_ and had her Master in her arms. Clearly, she had protected Sakura from the falling debris and the rain of spells. That was fine- I wasn't here for Sakura. I didn't want to have to kill her.

"Rider, let her put her Master down!" I ordered. "Then, you and Saber will hold her off. Oh yes! Before I forget: Saber, _**do not look Rider of Blue in the eyes.**_ " I had already warned them beforehand of looking into their eyes, and I was sure Boudica would manage to do this since she was largely the defensive support and could use her chariot to escape out range if necessary. Saber, meanwhile, was going to have to get up close and personal to fight, so I decided that I could spare one of my many Command Seals just to cut out the possibility of her getting effected by Medusa's Mystic Eyes.

And then, I spoke to Caster in my mind. [ _"Caster, you're with me. Let's deworm the place."_ ]

I left my two Servants to it, and instead ran after my Caster who quickly used her magic to fly down into the broken house. The basement had to be here _somewhere_ , and I wanted Medea to burn each and every worm we found.

"Found it!" Medea cried, then with a quick chant she banished the rubble blocking the route down. Several more chants were required to demolish the Mysteries that protected the room, but after that it was easy to make out way downwards into the earth. The basement itself was already halfway caved in- the mansion clearly not designed to endure a bombardment from a Magus that was born in the Age of the Gods.

"Ladies first," and then I gestured for her to enter.

Already, many of the worms had scattered, as the room wasn't waist deep in slimy familiars. Only knee deep now- though it was still sickening to look at. Zouken was a coward, and I assumed that I wouldn't be able to kill him now- but I did want to bloody his nose and remove a lot of his firepower.

Plus, I'd also felt rather sympathetic to Sakura's circumstances. She'd gone through hell, and damn it, this was the _least_ that Zouken deserved.

Speaking of which… "Caster, burn them."

She looked at the creatures with distaste and nodded her head in certainty. "énkavma!". And then, fire erupted her from her staff in great bouts. Even from several meters away, I could feel myself sweat as I saw the orange inferno sweep down the steps and into the mass of worms' present. I could smell nothing but ash now, and it was hard to see where the fire was _not_. Medea walked down the steps, slowly but with assurance, and the fire parted around her. Another short incantation and the fire flowed around her like water, until I couldn't even see her anymore.

WHOOOSH!

The fire spread in all directions- rushing through the catacombs and searing into each and every cranny it could reach. This was an extermination mission- we were going to burn all the worms we could.

"Okay! I think I'm done here!" Medea said cheerfully, as she spun on her foot to face me. "Maaaan! You were right, Master! There sure were a lot of worms here!"

"And now, there are a hell of a lot less. Come on, let's go out and support the others."

Outside, the battle waged on. Sakura was to one side, and hidden behind a large pile of rubble, while she watched the battle.

The fight itself was neck and neck, even with Medusa outnumbered. Lily kept pace with Medusa and was able to fight her blow for blow. I felt my Perception Magecraft activate and noticed that their Agility stats were identical- B. Saber had the slight advantage here due to her weapon and her experience with using it, but Medusa's own daggers were sneakier and Rider of Blue was good at setting them up. I was certain that the lavender haired woman would have been able to slowly wear Lily down even with her higher Endurance score if it wasn't for one thing: and her name was Boudica.

"Hyaaaaa!" She cried from atop her speeding chariot, blade drawn and firing mana projectiles from the blade, that Medusa was forced to endure, while she surged through the field of battle, disrupting Medusa at every turn.

And then, the battle kicked up a notch. Sakura shouted aloud "Use it, Rider!", and she nodded, ever so minutely.

In an instance, she was gone- having returned to her Astral form. This move was shocking and bought her a moment of reprieve to escape the two-pronged assault of my Servants. Then, she reappeared, afar from the Mansion. She took her dagger, and in one clean motion slit her own throat.

"Fuck!" I called out. "Get back! Noble Phantasm!"

The blood pooled together and did as I knew it would. From the blood, a shining horse manifested. The Pegasus of legend, arguably Medusa's trump card, and the sole thing the qualified her for the position of Rider. Her Blood Fort Andromoda was unprepared, and I'd Sealed away the possibility of her Mystic Eyes of Petrification being a huge trump card here, since the major threat here was Chevalier d'Eon, so consequently she needed something else to even the scores.

And then it was too late, as the Pegasus was mounted, and Medusa took to the skies in a shower of silver. [ _"Caster!"_ ] I urged, though she needed no prompting. With panicked tone, she cast her strongest shield- and a massive wall of light appeared before Saber, before several more layers of light were applied.

" **Bellerophon!"** Medua commanded, and then the star fell. The barrier held for a second, and then shattered. Saber braced themselves, preparing for the attack. But then, Boudica was there- her Chariot had its own flight capabilities, and she drove it so she stood directly before Medusa and her mount. Then, the white comet struck her too- and her defensively made chariot crumbled. I saw it though, Boudica leapt from her craft, and straight at Medusa- then put her sword and shield between them, and then the light of Bellerophon struck her too.

In a moment, the attack was over. The dust settled, and I could finally see what had happened. The Pegasus had definitively defeated my Rider- she had been struck hard and ploughed down into the earth- and now rested at the bottom of a massive crater. Burnt, bleeding and wounded, her shield gone, she knelt on one knee, with only her blade keeping her upright.

" _Thank god for A Ranked Battle Continuation."_ In Heavens Feel, Bellerophon had managed to rival _Excalibur_ at one point, and if it had been any other Servant to take a direct hit like that, I was certain they would have fallen.

Boudica had performed her duty though. She had been tasked with defence and to be my shield. Chevalier d'Eon was my sword, though, and a sword isn't satisfied until it had struck. There- in Medusa's torso, was a beautiful rapier, and its wielder there thrusting it in. While Rider took the hit, Saber readied themselves and retaliated while Medusa was fully committed to her attack.

Medusa reacted fast, and so did her Pegasus, even exhausted. Her dagger came to hand, and aimed to plunge into throat when-

"Machia Hecatia Graea!"

Then the Rain of Light fell upon the Matou household once more. A concentrated rain of spells directed intently at Medusa and her mount. A moment of hesitation as the Gorgon deliberated over which was the greatest threat, and that was all the fast swordsperson needed to remove their blade and kick off the Divine Beast.

It was too late now- the spell was cast. Medusa could either pursue Saber, or protect against Caster, and was already gravely wounded.

"Rider! _**Endure!**_ " Cried out Sakura, and her Master's voice and Command Seal seemed to spur the Servant of the mount on. Her Pegasus vanished, disappearing into a blizzard of photons, with its duty done and the cost of maintaining her too great. And then, Medusa _changed_. Her muscles bulged, her demeanour darkened, and then her blindfold fell away, revealing the eyes of the Gorgon to all.

[ _"Careful! She's using Monstrous Strength, and her Mystic Eyes are deadly enough that even looking away isn't a full defence!"_ ]

Saber was the target, and they could not move. I'd ordered them long before to avert their eyes- but it didn't truly make too much of a difference, and I'd been a fool for assuming it would. Saber's Mana score was too low- already half her body was stone.

"Fuck! Saber!" I cried out, though I had to look away myself, because even with my own ridiculous Mana output, my body was starting to stiffen. _"Shit! Why did I suggest this!? Why didn't I go with removing Assassin from the Temple, or stopping Lancer, or ANYTHING but this! Oh shit- I've just led Saber to their death!"_

And then, when hope seemed lost, I recalled something.

 _Caster's Rain of Light had still been falling_.

And so, they struck Medusa head on- breaking her concentration, and forcing her to the ground. I made myself watch- to see this to the end. I saw Medusa, on her knees, but unbroken by the attack due to her high Agility and her B rated Magic Resistance. But it stopped her assault on Saber, and more importantly, at this moment, she was off balance.

This was a fact that Boudica was very happy to take advantage of.

"Take this!" she cried, leaping from her place in the crater. She'd been injured- heavily, almost fatally so, but she had endured, and with the high amount of Mana I had sent her, I'd seen that she'd been able to heal herself at least enough to be able to move again. Medusa spun, readying herself to defend herself or strike- but she was too late. The blade struck the throat and decapitated the head in one clean motion. In this case, she had played defensively and paid the price. She died in much the same way her false Master had, funnily enough.

Medusa the Gorgon, the Rider of Blue, was dead.

XXXXXXXXXX

If someone were to observe the Matou household, the first they would wonder would be exactly what war had been waged there, for the ruins there could be described as nothing less than war-torn. Then they'd notice the pensive silence amongst those still there. And finally, they'd see the wounded, and wonder how the hell they survived whatever the hell they did.

"Oh no, nonono!" Medea whispered, from beside prone bodies of her fellow Servants. There was Saber, half their body stone, and Boudica, the majority of her body bloody and burned.

Then there was me- stood to one side, pumping as much Prana into their links as I could, while to my left sat Sakura- who could only watch the spot where her Servant fell.

"Can you heal them?" I asked, my voice bereft of emotions. I was too drained at this point to properly express my worry.

"It's bad." Medea admitted. "I think I can, but it will take my Noble Phantasm."

"Then use it." I told her. "In fact, never ask for permission to use your Phantasm. Ever." Because time was of the essence.

She complied, reaching for her staff and focussing intently. Her Prana drain increased exponentially, and then she spoke. " **Pain Breaker: All Flaws Must Be Repaired.** ". From her staff, waves of light flowed, almost like the aurora borealis. Like starlight, it bathed the two prone figures, and clung to them like clouds. Then, before my eyes, they began to heal. No- not heal. This wasn't taking a broken thing and filling in the missing parts. It wasn't taking something imperfect and recreating it until the damage could barely be noticed.

This was almost akin to time reversion. The bodies were being brought back to the point when they were at 'perfect condition'. She could not tolerate those imperfections- therefore the bodies had to have been perfect all along, was the sort of logic that Noble Phantasm worked off.

In other words- it was a very much a contrast the Noble Phantasm of her elder self, which could only ever break.

"There we go! I think they should be fine now." Medea said, ending her Noble Phantasm. With a sigh, she wiped away the sweat clinging to her forehead.

I approached her and patted her shoulder reassuringly. "Thank you. If you weren't here, we would have just lost two Servants. I… fucked up by suggesting this, and they almost paid the price."

"Not a problem." She shook her head reassuringly. "Besides which, I wouldn't say that you _messed up_. We were fighting three on one, and it _really_ should have been easier than that."

"Aye. I'd expected an easier battle, but I shouldn't have, so I still screwed up." I hadn't expected this outcome, although in hindsight I should have. I'd taken our numbers advantage, the synergy of my Servants and their individual abilities and had assumed that a victory was well within reach. However, I'd definitely underestimated Medusa, and I _should have known better_. Medusa, and so many Servants, were Bullshit. And I'd forgotten just how bad Medusa could be when she was going all out.

Medea's smile was reassuring. "I guess we're both screw ups here, then. I wish I could have done so much more, because I was _useless_ against that Magic Resistance of hers. That battle… if Servants like _her_ are the calibre we are going to be facing, then this War will be much harder than I'd hoped."

"True." I acknowledged. "But on the other hand, while you aren't quite as offensively Bullshit, you are a damned good healer. Saber and Rider can afford to fight with all their might, because they know you can patch them up."

"Complimenting me doesn't make me happy, you know." She frowned.

I coughed something that could have possibly been 'Tsun-Tsun'.

"Excuse me, but what are you going to do to me now?" I spun, only just now remembering that we still had Sakura sitting there. We'd just murdered her Servant and told her to sit still for a bit, and so she had. She did it with a small, defiant glare at me, but it wasn't like she was in a position to protest.

"We'll do nothing with you." I honestly told her. "Quite frankly, we were just here for Rider."

"You have three Servants."

"Aye. That I have. This War will be ridiculous, with 21 Servants total. So, it seemed wise to strike early."

Sakura looked pensive- she was still staring at that one spot. "I never wanted to be in the War. As soon as I was forced to summon Rider, Shinji took her from me. That was a shame, because I liked her. And then you killed him. And then you killed her too."

I sighed and walked up to her. She flinched away, so I stopped. "Look, it wasn't anything personal. Honestly, if I could stop this war with no casualties, I'd do it. I don't much care for a wish to begin with. If I could have earned a Happy Ending where everyone and their Servants could sit down for tea and crumpets, I would. All _this-_ " I gestured around the devastated mansion. "it just seems so _pointless_. We're all fighting to the death for a wish. And I'm not quite a Saint enough to do nothing when I know that brave people are coming to kill me..."

That wasn't quite the complete truth, but it was close enough. For the most part, I would have been content to sit out the War. Living in this world would be hella difficult, but it beat dying. And since escaping this war now that I was a target was impossible, it made sense for me to be proactive in ensuring I survived this War, right?

Yes- it did. But while I wasn't Saint enough to do nothing when people were coming to kill me… I also wasn't self-deluded enough to think that I was immune to the promise of a pure Wish- that I didn't have a selfish aspect to my actions. If a genie asked you 'hypothetically, if you had a rules-free wish, what would it be?', then you'd be a fool not to reply, wouldn't you?

Riches, power, knowledge, love… having any one of these petty desires fulfilled would be better than _not_ having them. So objectively, since I'm already fighting to survive this War, then there was no harm in claiming the reward at the end if I _did_ win either, was there?

I wasn't like Emiya Kiritsugu, or Matou Kariya, or even Waiver Velvet. I didn't have a desire or Wish strong enough to murder for. I didn't have an unbeatable drive to _do something_. But I was human, and I naturally had selfish desires. It would make my life easier if I could return to my home world; it would be wonderful being able to live for as long as I chose to live, and not a day before; and I sure wouldn't turn down getting the Kaleidoscope or travelling the Multiverse.

Point was, a part of me _did_ want to win this thing. I'd committed to it, so naturally I'd consider what I'd do with the reward, even if my Wish would be nothing noble at all. So, me killing Sakura's Servant wasn't some tragic event done to survive… on some level, I had consciously decided to have her killed, just because it made it easier for me to win a petty Wish I probably didn't deserve.

" _Not a Saint at all. Just human…"_

She smiled a hollow smile. "I suppose we both play the roles that we must, then. So, are you going to kill me like you did my brother?"

I was glad she'd asked me that. My mind had a tendency to get side-tracked, so it was nice to get distractions to help me stop thinking those thoughts. "No. You're free to go, though I wouldn't recommend going to that slimy priest. Perhaps the Tohsaka heiress or the Emiya boy would be good choices to hide with." I suggested.

At the last option, I think Sakura perked up quite a bit. She quickly decided against it though- if the hesitance on her face was anything to go with. Probably wouldn't want to bother her 'beloved Sempai'. Even so, she seemed rooted to her spot. "I… don't want to go. Not quite yet. Rider was fighting for me. I didn't know her long, but she was like a sister to me. My one real regret here, I think, is that I was unable to be a proper Master for her or be beside her when she fell."

I could sympathise, I suppose. I'd felt shit when I thought Saber was going to die- when I'd only know them for less than a day. I couldn't imagine how bad I'd feel if _Boudica_ died.

"Take your time." I told her, turning away. "But not too long. The Worm has been wounded, but he's not gone. Not quite yet."

And with that, I took the still unconscious form of Boudica, and then with a massive groan of effort, I managed to heft her up into a bridal position. Despite the circumstances, I let myself smile a little- because now the shoe was on the other foot. Beside me, Caster lifted Lily with her magic.

"Come on. Let's head back."


	9. Chapter 8

**AN- So yeah. I killed off Medusa. To be honest, the deaths had to start somewhere, and such is the crux of the Death Tournament. Deaths must occur for the plot to advance, but consequently not every character gets the chance to be fully shown off.**

 **Chapter 8**

 _They were born to a poor family of lesser nobles. Raised as a boy, so they could inherit the land of their father. Well educated, and strong of mind and spirit, yet they yearned for more still. Burgundy seemed oh so small a place to them, and even the promise of their father's title did nothing to excite them. No- it was to Paris, the capital, that set their heart racing._

 _And so, they moved there as soon as they could, found what work they could, and climbed through the ranks. In time, they caught the eyes of those that worked in the shadows of Paris, and in turn joined the Kings Secret. They found that they were remarkably good at their newfound job of spying. Androgynous in appearance, with the grace of a woman and the strength of a man, it seemed almost effortless for them to slip into any role required._

 _Eventually, their duty took them to Russia- to a barricade of the English, and the necessity to don a dress once more to pass them by._

 _Infiltration successful, they and their fellow spy managed to slip into the high society of Russia. They took on a mantle and played their role well: lady Lea de Beaumont, the maid of honour to the Empress._

 _And over the course of the mission, they came to realise something. They thought back to their youth, and realised the absurdity of it all._

 _For they enjoyed the dress, and the role. He was just as lovely as a woman, but she had been raised oh so well as a man._

 _Confusion- ambiguity. The man who wears a mask sometimes forgets their true appearance beneath._

 _Then the mission ended, and they returned to Paris. Once more they threw themselves into their duty, and donned the mantle of a captain of dragoons, because they could see the way the wind blew: and war was on the horizon._

 _Because there was one absolute in the fluid core of Chavalier d'Eon. Amidst every disguise, within every role, beneath the dress and within the trousers- one thing resided. Duty- and a love for their country._

 _They had forgotten themselves, but they knew enough. They were a Knight of the White Lily. And they would loyally serve their monarchy, regardless of whatever masquerade they donned…_

XXXXXXXXXX

"S-saber!" I spluttered, waking up. I looked over the bed- searching for the forms I expected to find there. Instead, the bed was empty. Rider and Saber had both been forced into Astral forms last night to help them properly recover from their injuries in taking down Rider, leaving me to wake up alone.

Still, it felt a little lonely waking up to an empty bed. Battle forges bonds almost as great as years-worth of friendships, and while my role had been minimal, it's hard not to feel a BOND with a Servant. They really are the top 0.0000001 percent of humanity, and it's a pleasure just to around them.

"Morning!" Medea popped her head in through the door to the living area. "Breakfast is on me today, since Boudica is still not at her best!"

"Where is she anyway?" I asked her. Concentrating, I could feel the Prana connections I shared with my Servants, but I couldn't really differentiate which bond led to each Servant.

"Sulking. Really, I think she's just upset that she hadn't been able to do more."

I sighed. "That woman is far too maternal, I tell you."

Medea smiled sadly. "I mean, she treats everyone like a little sibling, y'know?"

"Yeah, but EVERYONE treats you like a little sibling." I reminded her. "Because you're friggin' adorable."

She puffed out her cheeks in mock anger. "Don't say that! I'm really terrifying! Do you know just how ridiculous High Speed Divine Words are?"

"Yes. I know, and I don't care. It doesn't change the objective nature of your adorability."

"Urgh. At this point in time, I give up." Medea had wisely learned to pick her battles. It was difficult to command respect as a Master Spellcaster when you were ridiculously short, looked like an elf and had light purple hair.

In walked Saber. "Good morning, my Master." They gave a small, stiff bow.

 _An inner core of loyalty and Duty._

"Morning. I'm… happy to see you're looking better now. I was worried before." Which was an understatement. One doesn't normally recover from being turned halfway into a lawn ornament.

The smile was a little strained, but the sentiment was there. "Well, I'll try not to worry you in the future. Though, as a Servant, I cannot promise to remain out of danger."

I gave them the look. "I know. You have a duty to fight for me, and I sure as hell can't pick a fight with the enemy. Even so, I would… prefer not to suffer any casualties."

"If you wish to become a strong battle commander, then you are aware that your heart is going to get in the way?" Lily reminded me.

The smile that I offered them was wry. "You _were_ a captain at one point. I suppose you would know your stuff."

Chevalier d'Eon didn't take the out I offered, but pressed on. "I'm being serious, my Master. In many ways, the Master plays just as large a role in a War as the Servant does. We're a… a pair. Tactics, strategy, the capabilities to support the Servant or finds avenues to victory we in our closed minds cannot possibly fathom… if you _do_ want to win this, then you will _need_ to become a battle commander. For you are outnumbered seven to one, and must compensate for that fact."

"I'm aware." I sighed. "We're at a big disadvantage, since as a Master I _know_ I'm inferior to the others. And yes, we'll be outnumbered. Our Team doesn't have seven Masters and seven Servants; only one Master to go around. I've gotta give it my all. And it's not like I can't harden my heart when I must. I mean, I… I _did_ order Shinji's death."

Aye- that had definitely been the most coldhearted thing I had done this entire war, murdering a Master in the middle of a peace talk, midsentence. Once the Dream Sequences ended, I was sure I'd get a few good sleepless nights from that one.

They smirked. "I know. Boudica told me all about that."

"And then we had last night too! I mean, that was pretty proactive!" less cold-blooded, mayhaps, but still bloody. That wasn't self-defence. I'd picked that fight, and brought down the Matou mansion even though I had no guarantee that Rider would have been close enough to prevent the mostly defenceless Sakura from getting wounded.

Lily shook their head at that though. "I'm not saying this to criticise. The reason I'm telling you this is because I _believe_ you to have the potential to be a good commander. I don't… want you to numb your heart completely. Even a Knight such as I have learned that what the heart wants, it wants, and what it feels, it feels. But I just want to remind you that it will be _you_ that will have to make the tough decisions, when the time comes. We are merely your army, as it were. Weapons that you direct and aim. And in the end, responsibility lies with the one giving the orders."

"Fuuuck. It's too early in the morning for morality debates." I grumbled, though I pointedly didn't deny the point Lily was making. I had no illusions about how this War was going to turn out… but that didn't mean that I wanted a bloodless solution any less. At the very least, I could try to win with the minimal loss of innocent life, and with the minimal number of casualties on my end.

It's kind of funny just how much I sympathised with both the dummy Emiya Shirou, and the Magus Tohsaka Rin, at this moment in time.

"Geez! Breakfast is getting cold!" Medea yelled from the other room.

"Coming!" I called back. The Chevalier noticed the unspoken dismissal, and happily stepped aside so that I could enter the kitchen and get the necessary sustenance to properly start the day.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Servant, Assassin." Greeted the voice amidst the fog produced by my latest Summoning ritual. "Excuse me, for I am not a Hassan. Hmmm… furthermore, I am sorry, but I cannot fight."

I gave the figure a loud sigh "Well, fuck. An Assassin that can't kill? I suppose that it _would_ be just my luck, but even so! This is getting ridiculous!" Was it too hard to ask for a single bloody overpowered Servant? I don't even need Hercules of Gilgamesh or anything! I'd be pretty dang happy with an Iskandar or a Cu Chullain, or basically anybody with any amount of semi-decent firepower! "I can't say that it's not fitting, though."

She laughed, clearly agreeing with my words. It likely was my luck, but as she was summoned without catalyst, then she was automatically guaranteed to be an apt choice for me, even so. Now, I could see her a bit clearer though. If the voice hadn't been a giveaway, my newest Servant was both of the Assassin class, and a woman. Her voice couldn't properly convey her beauty, however. It was not an exaggeration to say that once the mist had cleared, she could only be described as drop dead gorgeous.

Like, I was used to beautiful Servants, by this point in time. Boudica had a stunning physique and frequently showed it, Medea (While childish) could only be described as ethereally pretty and embodied moe charm, and even Lily was attractive enough (Whether they were a man or woman, part of me we would still be tempted to, as they say, 'hit that').

But Assassin? She put them all to _shame_.

A young lady on the cusp of becoming a mature beauty, she had an ageless quality that appealed to me. Her golden dancing attire was just as revealing as Boudica's default attire, and heavily accented her lovely curves and soft skin. And the face… the shimmer of her brunette hair… her enthralling eyes…

It was almost embarrassing, really, how in three sentences alone she had already captivated me. I liked to think I had a good head on my shoulders… but… well, she…

"D-dang it!" I growled, turning my back to her PURELY so I wouldn't see her (And for no other reason at all). "Stop s-seducing me already!"

"But Master, I'm not." She told me in a husky tone. "I suppose I'm just naturally your type…"

"Oh, just knock it off already!" Boudica snapped from her spot in the room, atop the bed. She had her arms crossed firmly, and didn't seem amused by the fact that I was making a fool of myself. "I mean really. Have some common decency, you… you…"

"Decency? Me? Pretty galling to say that considering your _own_ revealing clothing." By now, her voice was clearly teasing. "I'd almost say you were je~al~ous of all the attention I'm getting."

And thus, yet again, my new Assassin proves to be a terrifying threat to my forces. In addition to myself, she had already she'd left my Rider a blushing, stammering mess- despite her own maturity.

"My lady, perhaps you should tone down your behaviour." Lily offered their own two cents on the matter. "You said you were a non-combatant Assassin, and based on your behaviour and temperament, I'd say your speciality lies in infiltration and seduction. Am I wrong? If so, then using such skills on your allies wouldn't exactly be getting you off to a good start."

I wasn't looking at her, but I could hear the unspoken eyeroll. "Fiiine. Oh, Master, darling, don't suppose you could give me that jacket of yours?"

The jacket was unzipped, removed and thrown behind me before she could even complete he request.

"Well, I suppose that you _are_ prompt, aren't you? Though quickness isn't always appreciated, you know…"

"Sh-shut up and put the jacket on." I said, turning back around. Assassin was still as ridiculously alluring as she had been before, but at least the school jacket covered a bunch of skin ( _"Although now that I think about it, it does press quite tightly against her… GODDAMN IT, she's doing it again! Stupid sexy Assassin…"_ )

"Urgh, this is just painful to watch." Groaned Medea. "Can we get onto business before he becomes any more lovesick. I mean, did _I_ look that mortifying when it happened to me?"

"I. Am. Not. Loooovvv-" … and shit, I just lost my train of thought because Assassin pushed a lock of hair in _juuuust_ the right way out of her face and…

"Okay, maybe I am. Just a little." I admitted, turning around again. "I mean really. This is getting silly now! I'm a man of reason! You can't just bat those pretty eyelashes of yours and turn me into putty in the palm of my hands."

"Really?" She asked with what I knew was a knee dropping smile. "Because I think I already have. It's just in my nature, you see."

"I can… see that." I admitted. "If you really are a Servant specialising in seduction, then it's totally not my fault I fell for your charms. R-really, this is all your fault, when you think about it!"

Medea's sigh was resigned. "This really seemed healthier when it was happening to me."

Boudica gave me a reassuring pat on the head- a steady tap, tap, tap. "Oh, it's okay Master. You are _absolutely_ right. It's clearly not your fault you're hopelessly enamoured with someone."

"Now you just sound more patronisingly than sisterly." I told her sternly. "And I'm not enamoured! Merely horribly attracted! This is surely a physical thing alone!"

"Of course, of course~" she didn't stop her patronising reassurances or head pats, however.

"Besides which, weren't you just as annoyed as me to begin with? Are you just joining in with the teasing so I forget about your own little lapse?" I accused.

"D-don't be silly. Fufufu, now _you're_ trying to distract us from your inabilities now." And thus, Boudica continued doing what she had already been doing- head pats everywhere.

"It's okay, child, it really is!" Reassured Assassin, cooing gently as she rejoined the conversation. "For a boy your age, it's _perfectly fine_ to feel those… urges."

"Motherfucker, I'm _nineteen!_ "

"We are getting nowhere here!" The shout came out of nowhere. We turned, to see Lily looking very angry- though with their looks, they seemed more put out, if anything. "Firstly, you can stop complaining!" They turned to me. "Yes, we know that it's not your fault for falling victim to a woman such as her! Heaven knows I've seen boys fall sway to less than _that_."

"And you!" Lily spun, turning on Assassin with her rapier like put downs. "Stop complicating matters! Heaven knows why you haven't even asked why you're surrounded by Servants not trying to kill you! Do you have no sense of prioritisation, woman!? I've done my fair share of seduction, but there is a time and a place, and here and now it's _business time_. We're in a war to the death with 14 other Heroic Spirits, and you not taking it seriously doesn't help us at all, does it?"

Truly, it was amazing. Assassin had nothing to say- could only stare, dumbstruck at the normally amiable Saber- her mouth openly gaping.

"… wow." I said, "I think I have a new favourite Servant. I mean, I shouldn't play favourites, but I think it was pretty clear that I considered Rider to be best girl before now. But I think with this one action alone, you've taken the top spot, Saber."

"Time. And. A. Place!" Saber hissed, turning on me once more, though that didn't stop the slight satisfaction I saw in their eyes.

"… Okay, I'll stop, but I _do_ feel the need to say how awesome you are."

Assassin coughed delicately. "Very well. I shall try to behave with a bit more… decorum, for now. Honestly, I know how weak a Servant I am. I _do_ have a wish for the Grail, but I've long since abandoned the idea that I might have ended up getting it granted. Consequently, I haven't exactly been taking this seriously. I am _sorry_."

I knew I should have been more irritated at her, but by her very nature, I couldn't stay mad at her for long, even if I wanted to.

"Better." Lily said, with their voice a lot more level now. "Next, we shall all introduce ourselves."

One by one, we all took our turn introducing ourselves, until it finally became Assassin's turn once more. "Servant Assassin. My true name is that of Mata Hari, the exotic dancer, executed during the First World War for being a spy. Whether I truly was or not… who can say?"

"Thank you." Saber said, taking point in leading this meeting since I was in no clear state to do so. "Next, what are your capabilities, so we best know how to use you in the coming War?"

"I am utterly inept at combat~" she cheerfully announced. "I am, however, excellent at infiltration. No man may consider me an enemy, and no secrets can be kept that I cannot uncover. As for my Noble Phantasm… if used correctly, it allows me turn all who sees me into one of my puppets, if only until sunrise."

"And thus, you know your newest soldier, Master." Lily spoke, calmly. "Do not think too much on her, for she is but a means to sow chaos in the hearts of our enemies."

"Ohoh, aren't you being a little harsh, child? I am more than just my hips and lips, you know?" she pouted.

"Yes, but this is a _war_." The rapier fighter reminded her. "And your beauty is- unfortunately- the sole weapon you possess."

"That much is true." She smirked a little smirk. "Wars are hardly won on the battlefield alone, but also in the bedroom."

Saber ignored her. "Consequently, please try to avoid using your 'weapons' upon your allies. It is lucky that my personal Skills Looks of Loveliness and Self Suggestion make me incredibly resistant to your allure, else we would have never gotten anywhere."

The message was made clear- Saber was Assassin's- no, Mata Hari's- natural enemy. No matter how those hips swayed, Saber's will would not. Truly, Saber was the Trap to end all Traps when it came to being seduced by others.

"I understand." Mata Hari said, perhaps a little bitterly. "Perhaps it would be for the best if I return to my Astral form until you need?"

"Y-yes." I told her, still not looking her in the eye. I just… I couldn't operate properly while she was around. Honestly, my mind just kept straying, and the longer I saw her the thicker the fog in my mind became.

"It would be for the best." Medea agreed, though she was perhaps a little bit more mournful.

Assassin did as she agreed to do and disappeared, meaning I could breathe freely again.

"Okay." I said, trying to put my newest Servant out of thought (Though it was immensely difficult to do so). "Perhaps we should discuss our strategy for the day, now that we've dealt with _that_."

"That would be for the best, Master." Boudica concurred. "I'm afraid to say that our fighting condition is unchanged from yesterday for the most part. Caster's Noble Phantasm did its job, and your excessive Mana has helped speed up our recover, but we really took a beating yesterday. For one thing, last night my _Noble Phantasm was destroyed_. Rider of Blue's Pegasus demolished my chariot, and given time it will repair, but I predict that I myself will need at least another day or two before I am at peak performance. We will likely be in fighting condition tonight, though."

I shook my head. "No. I think that after last night, we need to let things cool down a little bit. We have Assassin now, but our combat capabilities are no greater than yesterday. In fact, since you're a Rider without a mount, _we're in a worse position._ Plus… I have a bad feeling, about what Ruler said. Anytime now, the Blue Team will unite and the Red Team will arrive in Fuyuki. I would prefer one more Servant before we try and participate in another fight."

The Queen of Victory smiled graciously. "If that is what you think best, Master. I guess that makes today a 'rest and recovery' day, huh? Perhaps we could go shopping? We really need to get you some new clothes, while we Servant's need some 'normal' outfits as well. The Grail has shared oh so many interesting details about these things called 'shopping centres'…"

… I suddenly had a terrible and foreboding feeling.


	10. Chapter 9

**AN- and now for the thing you are all clearly reading for… more light-hearted Slice of Life!**

 **Bah! Who cares for that silly 'war to the death' thing anyway?**

 **Chapter 9**

I was on a date with what appeared to be three other beautiful women… or at least that is what an outsider would observe. One guy with three attractive ladies of very different types of appeal crowded around him, showering clearly undeserved affection upon him. In truth, I was being dragged around shops by two (three?) superpowered ladies and being forced to try on whatever things the tyrants demanded while undergoing the pain of seeing my own modest bank account grow ever smaller and smaller through the purchase of their own goods, while a fourth waited at home for our return like a petulant teenager grounded by their parents.

It had been an… interesting journey so far, to say the least.

("What do you mean I need money!?" Hissed Medea while she looked at a cute skirt. "And how are these flimsy pieces of paper legal tender? Where's the _gold_? I'm a princess!"

"Yes, but even they have to pay!" I countered. "How did you not know this, since you would have needed to go shopping to get all the ingredients to make all those things you've created!?"

She gave me a sheepish look. "Don't be mad, but I might have taken them without asking? It was an emergency, you see! Who knows when we would need those potions!")

("Fufu, these suit me, wouldn't you agree?" Boudica demanded my opinion while posed in front of a mirror, a cheerful giggle clearly upon the tip of her tongue. I was perfectly happy to offer my opinion on most things- I just wish she wasn't demanding me to do so while inside the Japanese equivalent of Victoria's Secret.

Even as she spun in the mirror, I could see the various women there giving me the evil eye, and felt my lifespan shorten immensely.

"Don't you think it's… inappropriate, perhaps _indecent_ , me being here?" I hissed.

She smiled. "That's preposterous. Why, I'm still clad in clothes, am I not?"

"Yeah, but those are _under garments_." I pointed at her skimpy red bra and panty set- the ones she wore _well_.

I truly despaired at her confused pout, and knowing waggle of her hips. "I don't see the problem. Be glad I'm not naked. Celtics _do_ prefer going into battle nude, you know, so be glad I'm garbed in anything at all."

My glare was supersonically potent. "But this isn't battle, is it!?"

"Do I just not look pretty enough in this?" she sulked, completely missing the point.

Palm, meet face.)

(The clothes store. A _normal one_ this time. A great dilemma has just occurred. Two signs stand before me- 'Men's Section' and 'Women's Section'.

Unfortunately, Lily had seemed to inexplicably vanish while my back was turned, and now I had no clue which of the two they had chosen to shop in.

And part of me feared I would never know.

"Oh wait. Saber can _literally be any gender they want at any given time_ , so why the hell would I think that knowing where they shop actually solves anything!?")

So yes. _Interesting_ , for lack of a better description.

"Are you okay? You look… distressed." Medea said with an innocent look. "Like you're about to cry out to the gods in horror… or something."

My expression was resigned- it really was. Some Servants eat a ridiculous amount, and some just like a lot of clothes. Either way, Servants are a very expensive Familiar to maintain, and bring other problems besides. "I think I'm just starting to understand just how culturally diverse people from different points in history really are."

Boudica cooed at me. "There, there, there. Aren't you just _precious_? Honestly, it's just as difficult for us to be in this modern time. Imagine waking up in a world vastly different to the one you know, with nothing but vague references to help you. I must admit, I have learned much about you and your culture too, today." She shook her head sadly. "To think that the attire I consider normal is seen as _shameless_ here. Really?"

"Well yippee. We've had an excellent bonding exercise, all round. Admittedly _a horribly expensive one, liable to bankrupt me,_ but an overall productive experience. I think I have just one problem here…"

Saber smiled, and titled their head meekly "Which is?"

"Why am _I_ the one carrying all the bags!?" Because really, even the weakest amongst us, Medea, was still ten times stronger than me!

Boudica giggled. "Didn't you know? If there is one universal thing across our times, it is that men _always_ carry the shopping. And we can hardly break character or drawn attention to ourselves by carrying them ourselves, can we?"

"I don't know about that. We're already getting quite a bit of attention, aren't we?" I muttered to myself, thinking of all the death stares I've been receiving since the day began.

"Yoo hoo!" a voice called out. A familiar one- one that automatically made my heart start to beat faster. There, I saw her, waving out to me with a smile that could kill. Mata Hari was as beautiful as ever; something that the modern clothes she wore failed to mask. A pale sweater and tight set of jeans- honestly rather restrained, considering what she wore this morning. And yet, even so, I couldn't help but notice how those jeans hugged her hips and clung to her delicious legs, and how the sweater brought out the colour in her-

"F-fuck it! Didn't even take a sentence!" I lamented with a huff and a sudden spin, so I wouldn't have to look at her.

I heard a distinct thud. I was ninety percent sure that Saber had just facepalmed. "You really _do_ have a weakness to her, don't you?"

"It's _not my fault!_ " I hissed at the ambiguous looking person, blushing a deep crimson. "Clearly Mata Hari was created with the conceptual Origin of 'being James Branson's Kryptonite'."

The Assassin Class servant sighed loudly. "I'd hoped the clothes would dampen it. I'm honestly not even _trying_ to do anything at this point."

"Wh-what are you doing here?" I was eventually able to splutter out, looking at her out of the corner of my eye. "Didn't we leave you behind?"

She gave me a level look. "And you didn't think I was just going to wait there, did you? I'm sorry for before, but grounding the _espionage specialist_ and _information gatherer extraordinaire_ isn't exactly a smart move either, is it?"

Boudica frowned, taking a step closer. "Where did you get those clothes? We didn't leave any money."

"Do you really want to know?" she said, batting her eyelashes suggestively.

Medea sighed. "We can all guess how you got those clothes, you harlot."

Assassin turned to her with a pouty look. "Now, just what do you have against me? I can _guess_ why Rider over there isn't exactly fond of me, but we've barely spoke, have we?"

The Caster sighed, deep in thought. "I don't know. I just… I think I find your loose sense of love and affection offensive, maybe? Love is a big thing to me, considering my history and what not. I… I still love Jason, I think. Even though I know how it turns out, I can't help it."

"The heart wants what it wants." I whispered to myself, though it must have been louder than I expected, as everyone turned to look at me.

"Indeed." Caster spoke, mournfully. "It's tragic, really. Those emotions were forced upon me, but I cannot regret that love. But you, Mata Hari? I don't know you, but you seem… loose. Seductive and short lived… love to you is as cheap as a wink and a kiss… and that bothers me. It bothers me seeing you play with people like that. No. It bothers me seeing you play with _him_ like that."

At that last comment, I flushed. It was honestly kind of sweet of Medea for her to defend me- that her main reason for disliking Assassin was because she felt slighted on my behalf. It… honestly meant a lot to me, to know that Medea liked me enough to want to see me hurt.

"I can't blame you for your opinion." Assassin said quietly, clamming up on the matter faster than a child caught hand-deep in the cookie jar. "You don't have to like me, I suppose, but trust in the fact that I don't want to hurt our Master."

Medea sized her up for a moment more- boring into Assassin with her cute glare. Finally, she blinked, and broke away. She wasn't happy, but she was satisfied for the moment.

"Perhaps we can move along?" Lily dryly said. "We're making a scene."

"Indeed! That's what I was here for, after all! I did some scouting, and found an excellent venue at the food court I wish for us to try!" Mata squealed happily. "If there's one thing I'm happy about being a Heroic Spirit, it's the fact that I can eat whatever I want now without gaining any weight!"

"… wow, what a mundane utility of superhuman power." Noted Boudica, before a grin stretched itself across her face too. "Fufufu. You make a good point. A girl has got to watch her figure, but we should enjoy ourselves too, sometimes."

I looked up to the roof of the shopping centre, and sent out a quick prayer to whatever deity was out there. _"Hi God, are you there? Or maybe Jesus? Root, Akasha, are you listening in? What about Zelretch? Really, whoever is out there. It's me, James. I have a teensy tiny request. Please, oh_ please _, let me summon a male Servant next. Like, a combat capable Servant would be nice and all, but I would_ really _prefer a guy. I'm in desperate need of some more testosterone, and I still don't know if Saber counts or not."_

XXXXXXXXXX

"Here you go! Two Double Cheeseburger Meals, one Big Wac Meal, one Chicken WcNugget Meal and a Spicy Chicken Wrap! Enjoy!" exclaimed the perky cashier lady at the blatantly copyright infringing establishment my Assassin had chosen for us. Because it _had_ to be WcDonalds.

"You know what they call these in France?" I casually asked, as once again I was forced into the strict gender role of our world and bid to carry to dinner to our table.

"No, what?" Lily asked me, suddenly looking far more interesting.

"A Royale with Cheese. While the Big Wac is _le_ Big Wac."

Saber was not amused. "I kind of expected something more when you brought this up."

I rolled my eyes, sighing audibly as we approached a long thin table. There was a huge gap on one side of it- perfect for the five of us to sit there. "Remind me to get a copy of Pulp Fiction to show you sometime. Lovely film. I still have no clue why the fuck it actually exists, mind you, but lovely all the same."

Then, we sat down, and I handed out our respective meals. I was midway through unwrapping my double cheeseburger and had a straw jammed into my mouth before I realised that sitting across from me were three people I did _not_ expect to see there.

Ilyasviel Von Einzbern, the legal loli Master with Yandere tendencies.

To her right, Shirou Emiya, the dumbass who had more Swords than sense.

To _his_ right, the Servant of the Sword, Saber, motherfreakin' Arturua Pendragon herself.

And there, behind Ilyasviel, was the feeling of another Servant- clearly in his Astral form. Hercules- though he was largely unnoticeable amidst the presence of the others.

They were both clearly in the middle of a lunch date, with Saber and Berserker as an escort. Ilya was frozen midbite- half a dozen fries sticking out of her mouth as she clocked onto what was happening too.

Then, almost in synch we both put down our drinks (She slowly finished swallowing her massive mouthful, whereas I put my burger to one side), and then we wiped away at our eyes in unison- as if to blink away a very unusual daydream.

Nope- I'd still accidentally walked in on a lunch date between two enemy Masters.

Slowly, deliberately so, I turned to Mata Hari, whom chuckled nervously while she spun a loop in her luscious hair with one finger. "In my defence, she hadn't been here when I first scouted it out?"

I sighed loudly. "Worst. Servant. Ever."

"H-hey! That's uncalled for!" She protested.

With that, I turned back to the other two Masters, who could only stare. "And in _my_ defence," I began. "this was completely accidental."

Ilya nursed her head, almost despairingly so. "Do I _want_ to know how you just so happen to have _four_ Servants that clearly shouldn't exist, _especially_ since I already know of all seven Servants that have been summoned… or am I going to regret it?"

"Probably the latter." Was my confirmation. "Honestly, the lot of us are just a headache in the making."

"Am I _wrong_ in assuming that the reason why that priest sent out Familiar's to inform us to visit the church is something to do with _this_?"

"Yes and no." I said, with a wish washy hand motion.

"Y-you! You're the transfer student!" Shirou stuttered, finally keying into who I was. "What are you doing here? And how does Ilya know you!?"

I gave him the deadest look imaginable. "Are you _braindead_ or something? How did you _not_ instantly figure out I was a Master the moment I walked into your classroom? Mysterious transfer student shows up EXACTLY when the Holy Grail War is taking place, has clandestine meetings with both Tohsaka Rin and Matou Shinji, both Masters in their own rights, and then sods off never to be seen again. How is that _not_ suspicious!?"

"H-hey!" Shirou growled back at me. "Don't treat me like I'm an idiot! It's not like I saw a Servant with you or anything."

"Except I _did_ have a Servant with me!" I told him.

"I didn't notice!" he cried.

Despairingly, I turned to Ilya. "Honestly, Einzbern, you have your work cut out for you."

She gave me a look of appreciation, followed by confusion, as if she couldn't imagine how we were getting along so well, or why we seemed to be such kindred spirits. "Yes. I think I do have my work cut out for me, with my little brother here."

"Shiro-" Saber of Blue cut in, suddenly reminding us all that she was here. "what will you have me do? An enemy Master has appeared before us, and his forces outnumber our own."

"Fucking hell Saber, chill out." I grumbled. "We're not here to fight. This is literally the last thing I expected to find when I went to get a cheap takeout burger."

Ilya looked pensive- and pressed her index fingers together awkwardly. "Shirou said that this was the kind of things siblings did."

Great. And _now_ I felt guilty for getting in the way of a rare moment of bonding between the two 'technically not blood-related' siblings. Really, it was a surprise to see Ilya spending time with her step-brother as opposed to trying to murder him- but good on her.

"Look, howsabout a truce?" I finally popped the question. "I'm hungry, and there isn't exactly another free table large enough for five. We didn't come here to fight, and neither did you. So, let's just eat our damned burgers, _not_ murder each other at the end of it, and then go our separate ways?"

Shirou looked to Ilya- clearly the little girl was wearing the pants, here. "Fine." She huffed. "I'll be gracious and allow you to eat with us here. Next time we meet though, I'll kill you and all you're stupid Servants. Just so you know."

Boudica smiled grimly. "Let's just say that we have a thing or two to say to that, but we'll leave that until we meet upon the battlefield."

And so began what was likely the most awkward meal in the history of the Grail War. This was not the Feast of Kings… but perhaps the Meal of Mutually Accepted Improbability.

"Hey Einzbern, could I have some of that ketchup?" I asked her, gesturing to the various sachets scattered before her. "We forgot to pick some up on the way to table."

"No!" She snapped childishly, pulling them closer to her side of the table.

"How about those napkins? You have oh so many…"

"I said _get your own!_ " she hissed.

XXXXXXXXXX

At the end of the meal, we had made no agreements with Ilya or Shirou. Honestly, it was a miracle that nobody stabbed anyone. It was awkward as hell, I endured chips without ketchup, and actually had to get up again for napkins. The food was eaten, the farewells said, and then we suspiciously watched the other leave as we pointedly walked away from each other in opposite directions, _damn the fact_ that we both needed to walk the same way.

"Well, that was a _fun_ meal." Quipped Medea. "Really productive."

"Oh, I don't know about that." Mati Hari said, mirth in her tone. "No need for that sarcasm. We may not have spoken much on the War, but there is always information to be found."

"You noticed it too then?" The Chevalier chipped in.

In turn, the spy smiled a pretty little smile that set my heart a pounding. "Those two… it's pretty clear that they've made an alliance, isn't it?"

XXXXXXXXXX

Bedtime. It had been a fun enough day (If fun was a synonym for _exhausting_ ), but I was glad it was over. We'd done all the mundane shopping we needed, and then returned to the hotel for us to try and spend what time in the day we had left productively.

For me, that meant cracking open those tomes and working at my Familiar Sight spell- the one I still hadn't been able to get working.

Meanwhile, Medea returned to her Item Creation skill- using her newly purchased (As opposed to stolen) regents to start making superior items. She had promised me something special in the future, and damn it, she was going to deliver!

My other three Servants had far less they could do- but it was pleasant to have them around.

But now? Now it was a time for bed, and I dreaded it.

"Sweetie, the bed isn't going to bite you." Drawled Mata Hari from behind me, draping an arm around me casually that I automatically batted off. "I mean really, are you that scared?"

"Yes." I admitted, as I continued to look at the bed, so as not to look at the one I'd likely be sharing it with. "For one thing, the bed is far too freaking small. For another, _you'll be on it_."

She sighed. "You really don't like me, do you?"

"It's kind of the opposite, really." I liked her too much now. I hated how little effort it took her to get under my skin, and just how frequently my mind moved to picture her. I'd never experienced infatuation this strong, and I detested the fact that my normally sharp brain was dulled by this. I'd never claimed to be smooth with the opposite gender, but Mata Hari left me in such a state every time we talked that I could only feel embarrassed by the end of it.

"It normally is." She admitted. "Well, you don't have to worry about me sleeping on it, anyway."

"Why. Not soft enough for you?"

Her laughter was like songbirds on the wind. "Don't be silly. Let's just say I've slept on worse beds… and _not slept_ on enough too…"

"I can hear flirting!" Saber's voice shouted from the bathroom. "Stop it!"

Mata Hari groaned in a rather unladylike way. "I never realised how _annoying_ it is to find someone immune to my charms."

"Look on the bright side, I find it terribly annoying to not be."

"Yes, yes, I _get it already_. Boo hoo, the horrible lady unfairly seduces her Master, etcetera, etcetera." Cue the eyeroll. "But telling me to stop being attractive is like telling a fish to stop swimming!" she complained, before she was eventually able to calm herself down. "But anyway. You don't need to worry about me sleeping with you, because I'm going out."

"Out?"

She smirked at me. "Indeed. Its time I started 'earning me keep', as it were. For an Infiltration specialist, I've hardly flaunted my talents, have I?"

"Good luck then." I said, with no small amount of relief. At least I now only had the _normal_ fright that came with sleeping with two (Three?) women on the same bed.

"Many thanks, Master." She replied, dryly. "I'll be sure to see what I can find out about the other Teams. I can't promise you much, but I'll certainly be able to make a start. You'll be the first to hear about the arrival of the Reds. I can promise you that."

She went to leave- but my hand found itself grabbing her own, without me even realising.

"Oh?" she said, with a false look of shock. "Have you changed your mind after all?"

"No- not _that_." I snapped- though my red colouring told her that I'd likely been considering it. "But… I just wanted to tell you to be careful, is all. I don't dislike you enough to want you dead. I'd much rather you telepathically deafen me in my sleep so I can wake up and use a Command Seal to bail you out, than I would want you to stay silent and die alone."

Again- the dry look returned to her face. "Your worry is appreciated. Don't worry. I'll stay safe, and be back to get you all flustered in the morning before you know it, hmmm?"

"I said _no flirting!_ " Saber shouted again, from the next room down.

"Geez- how long does it take Lily to use the bathroom." I complained under my breath- while Assassin laughed as the only one close enough to hear.

"And we weren't flirting!" Assassin called out in return. "It's called _banter_."

"Ohhh- is _that_ what they call it nowadays?" Saber was not amused. "Be gone, scarlet woman!"

Mata Hari's cute little eyebrows scrunched up in irritation. "Fine, fine. I'm going, okay~" and then she was gone, slipping into her Astral form and already well on her way to start scoping out the town with her own unique set of skills.

I looked at the spot where she had once been, and shook my head clear. I hoped that she would return; I was honest enough about that.

"Here's hoping this isn't a long night." I said quietly as I slipped into the bed and waited for the inevitable awkwardness that was going to arise.


	11. Blue Team Interlude

**AN- welp, time for something a bit more serious. What's that I hear? "Plot"?**

 **Blue Team Interlude**

When Rin answered the door, she hadn't really known whom to expect. It certainly hadn't been the girl that had once been her sister- back before she had been given away to the Matou family to learn their arts. Sakura stood there, almost awkwardly, and the Magus could see the red marks upon her hand.

"Ummm… Rin, can I come in?" she softly spoke.

Dumbfounded, Rin could only say "S-sure. Come on in!", and then she could hardly turn her former sister away. She led the lavender haired girl into her living room, and went to put the kettle on.

When in doubt, offer tea.

"What happened?" Rin asked after she returned with the hot beverage. She'd had time to think, and consequently time to consider questions. Sakura had Command Seals, it was clear, but no Servant accompanied her. Why was she here, when it had been agreed for neither of them to acknowledge the other?

"My house is gone." She admitted. "An enemy Master killed Shinji, and burned it down. Then he killed my Rider." Shinji's death wasn't a great surprise to Rin- especially after he just failed to turn up at school. She didn't mourn it much either. The fire was new information though.

"Who did it?"

"A boy that went to school with Shinji. An exchange student." So it _had_ been James, who appeared for a day and never more, and gave her cryptically useless information just to try and confuse her. He'd done this… though apparently chosen to let Sakura live with her Servant dead. At least he'd had that much restraint- Rin couldn't really blame him for killing an enemy Servant when the chance arose.

"And grandfather has disappeared. I don't want to bother… well, I don't have anywhere else to go." Sakura finally settled on, trembling a little as she spoke.

Rin's icy heart cracked a little at that. It had been agreed that neither of them could remain the sister of the other… but that couldn't stop those pangs of worry she felt. "Why didn't you go to the priest?"

"I was told not to trust him." Sakura told her. "And I think I trust you more… sister."

"We both know the agreement." Rin shook her head. Still, she couldn't blame Sakura for not wanting to sit out the rest of the war with the fake priest. "But I can't really leave you out in the cold, can I? I think I'd prefer you wait out the War here, Sakura."

"Thank you." Sakura smiled honestly, and Rin found it absolutely disarming.

And so, Rin gained a permanent house guest, and she didn't really mind. She'd been told to leave Sakura alone… but her father was dead, and there was hardly any harm in being friendly with Sakura, so long as it was only that.

XXXXXXXXXX

Kotomine Kirei should not have been surprised to find an unknown Servant of great power resting within his Church, upon his return after having done his necessary grocery shopping for the week.

"Kotomine Kirei, I am very disappointed." The woman spoke, sadly, from her seat.

"Oh, you are?" he said, little caring about the woman. He casually settled his shopping back down, and moved to take his customary position behind the pew. "May I ask your Class, Servant? And why you have not been driven from this place?"

"The Servants you have taken possession of shall be no threat to me, tonight." She said, shaking her head. "They have been Ordered to not oppose my actions for the duration of this War. Gilgamesh was quite incensed by my actions, I must admit. I believe he has gone out, looking for something to take his anger out upon, since I am unavailable."

Now _that_ was a surprise. As far as he was aware, only Lancer was aware of his connection to the Archer Servant of the previous War. More than that, whoever this Servant was, she had to be powerful if she had been able to successfully deal with _Gilgamesh_.

"As for my Class… I am Servant Ruler." She introduced herself.

"I'm afraid I have not heard of your Class." Kirei admitted. "Can I assume your presence here is primarily due to that entertaining boy and his impossible Servant?"

Her smile was minute, but it was there. "You can. I came here for two reasons today. The first has been addressed. No longer can I tolerate your sins, Kotomine Kirei. The sickening display in the basement has been dealt with."

"Oh yes, my ingenious battery. I had assumed you'd found them." Kirei spoke quite casually, concerning he was admitting to having imprisoned and tortured dozens of children to harvest their Prana and lifeforce for his Servant- reducing them to a macabre farm which produced magical energy.

"They are with the Lord now." She told him. "Truly I pity you, Kotomine Kirei. I hope you find peace someday. You are safe from my blade, though. No matter how distastefully you became one, you _are_ a Master in this Grail War."

Kirei was glad he had decided to stab Bazette in the back and steal her Command Seals for himself. He was not a man to feel fear, but even he admitted that his chances of surviving against a Servant that truly wished him dead were low. "And my Archer?"

"Just as illegal as the Aberration." Ruler spoke softly. "Much like him and his Servants, Gilgamesh will be permitted to compete in this War too, though compensation will be provided to whomever slays him."

"That is awfully accommodating of you."

"I suppose it is." The saintly woman admitted. "Still, everyone deserves a chance to have their wish granted. I have been Summoned for one purpose alone: to ensure the successful completion of this Grail War. So long as the wish does not threaten the World, I have no just cause to intervene."

Kirei nodded- that made sense. From what he understood, this Ruler Servant wasn't here to compete. Perhaps it would be accurate to say that she seemed to be the neutral gamesmaster than he was _supposed_ to be- a third party only here to ensure the Rules were followed. Except that she actually had the power to follow through and ensure the Rules _were_ kept. "And what was your second reason for coming here, Servant Ruler?"

Ruler stood up, her words rising in intensity as she spoke. "You have been given a duty, Kotomine Kirei, and you will fulfil it. As a competitor, you no longer have the qualifications to mediate this War, so _I_ shall. However, you have one last task to fulfil before I take your place. Call the Masters, Kirei. There shall be three Teams of Servants in this War. Those originally chosen, the Blue Team. The Aberration and his Servants, the Grey Team. And finally, seven new Masters called upon to fight them both, the Red Team."

Kirei blinked in confusion. "Teams? Are you… suggesting that the Grail War has ceased to be a battle royale?"

She nodded. "This is an Apocrypha, Kotomine Kirei. Speak to your Association. Spread the word, so the Reds know their role. And then, you must call upon the Blue Team. They too must understand who their true enemies are. _That_ , is what you must do, child of God."

XXXXXXXXXX

"I don't want you fight you, Tohsaka!" Shirou yelled out, even as he sprinted away from the Magus presently firing Gandr curses at him.

"And I told you _shut up_! You've had plenty of time to give up your Command Seals now, and I told you last time, that next time we fight we'd be enemies! Either stand still and I'll make this painless, or _don't!_ " The Gandr curse she unleashed was annoyingly close to the mark- only inches away from Shirou's face.

Even so- Shirou wouldn't fight back. She was fundamentally a good person- someone that had explained the rules of the Holy Grail War out of nothing more than a misguided sense of fair play, and helped fight off Berserker when he attacked them. Rin was the kind of person Shirou liked- and he didn't want to have to fight her.

"Can't we negotiate!?" He called out as he leapt down a set of stairs, tumbling into a roll as he once more dodged the barrage of spells.

"No!"

And so the chase continued. Shirou was more naturally athletic, but Tohsaka was better able to Reinforce herself, and refused to give up her pursuit. _"Should I use one of my Command Seals?"_ Shirou wondered, his eyes flicking to the two symbols that still marked his hand. _"I've already wasted one of them already. Can I afford to call Saber to me now, even though I promised I would if I was attacked?"_

Another well aimed curse almost struck his head, which pulled Shirou out of his thoughts. At the end of the day, he couldn't consider the one attacking him an enemy, so unless she escalated to using her Servant, he would stick to his own ineffective abilities to escape.

Finally, he cleared the interior of the building, where the narrow corridors offered Rin a great advantage, and escaped outside. He spun on his foot, wondering just how closely she was following him. The answer was 'very close'.

"In the name of the moderator of this War, I ask you to stop." A familiar voice resounded. Rin skidded to a stop- a momentary look of confusion upon her face. For once, Shirou was happy to hear the voice of a certain Kotomine Kirei, even though he disliked the man to his core.

He turned to the voice- but saw no man. Only a crow, perched atop a nearby window- with eyes with far too much intelligence.

"A Familiar?" asked Rin.

"I _was_ trained as a Magus by your father, in case you forgot." The crow spoke plainly, but with an undertone of mocking to one that knew the man. "This is an official message given to you in my capacity as the assigned Moderator of this Holy Grail War."

"Well then get on with it, you fake priest!" Snapped Rin sharply. "Can't you see we're in the middle of something here?"

"All hostilities are ordered to be halted." Kirei's voice was strict. "Circumstances have changed, and new rules must be added to this conflict. Tomorrow evening, visit the church, either in person or by Familiar, so you may understand the _changes_."

The young Magus growled. "What the Root are you on about? Changes in circumstances? Since when!? As the First Owner, I should have been the first to be informed of any 'circumstances'."

"Hmph. This was out of my hands." The crows head shook, as if emulating the actions of a man a great distance away. "I have already taken care of everything, Rin. I have sent Familiars to the other Masters, and have informed the necessary parties in the Magus Association. Adequate time has been given for everybody to… prepare."

"Damn it, but you should have consulted me first. What's happened!?"

"Oh, I'm very sorry." The crow didn't sound very sincere at all. "I merely sought to lessen the burden placed upon you. If necessary, you can complain in person when you attend the meeting tomorrow. You will be told everything then."

With his words spoken, the crow took flight, quickly soaring away into the sky- leaving behind the two Magi that had heard its words.

Rin sighed deeply, and glared at Shirou. "Don't think that you've been let off, you idiot! Once the War's back on, I'll make sure to take those Command Seals from you!"

Shirou smiled, despite Rin's words. "I hope we don't. After all, I'd much rather be allies."

"You… you… _idiot_." The Tohsaka heir would surely call him that many times, across the War.

XXXXXXXXXX

Despite the apparent ceasefire that had been instated, Shirou could not just _stop_. This was very much a decision his Servant supported, as well. Shirou was someone who fundamentally needed to save people, and he had decided to fight in this Holy Grail War to minimise the loss of lives and ensure someone worthy received the promised wish.

So he saw no problem in patrolling, just in case. After all, he wasn't hurting anyone, was he? He wasn't making any aggressive moves against any of the other Masters, was he?

When he'd given this opinion to his stern Saber, she had given him something close to a smile and noted that even he had a Magus side.

Which led to this- this situation now.

Across from him, on the other side of the large bridge that linked the east and west of Fuyuki, was Ilyasviel Von Einzbern, and behind her was the monster known only as Heracles- the most terrifying figure Shirou had ever met.

"Shiro- get back!" Saber yelled, drawing her invisible blade and settling into a defensive position.

"Saber! It's a ceasefire! We should be fine!"

His comment only seemed to make the fairy like girl giggle. "Sorry, big brother. But do you really think I care what that priest has to say? I only agreed to enter this War for one reason alone… to kill you."

"So it comes down to this…" Saber said. "Let it be said that there has been ample opportunity to back out. If you attack, then you are choosing to disregard the ceasefire the priest has called for. As such, I shall not hold back in turn!"

"Oh- that's fine. Fight all you like, you can't beat my Berserker." Ilyasviel continued to giggle. "Really, this is your own fault. If you had truly intended to follow the ceasefire, then why didn't you stay safe at home, hmmm? If you'd done that, perhaps I would have left you be for a while longer."

"But-" Shirou stumbled- trying to come up with an argument, but he couldn't. He'd anticipated that someone else might have broken the truce, or might have taken advantage of it to cause mischief- there was still a Servant rapidly draining the Prana from people all across the city, was there not? In many ways though, this fight was of his own reckoning. He'd tempted fate by venturing out of his home this evening. "But! Why do we need to fight!?"

She sighed. "Nobody likes a man slow on the uptake, big brother. You've had ample warning, and time to prepare yourself, and yet at the end you ask 'why'? We both know _exactly_ why I'm here to kill you… Emiya Shirou."

"But I don't!" Insisted Shirou. "The first time we met was when you warned me to summon a Servant! Aside from being enemy Masters, I have no quarrel with you! Hell- I don't even want the Grail! I just want to stop it falling into the wrong hands! I don't know why you have a grudge against me!"

The Homunculi's red eyes bored into his own- piercing through his words and looking for any kind of lies. Eventually, she saw that he truly didn't know the reason why she hated him. Upon seeing this, she frowned. "He didn't even _tell_ you about me? About your _sister_?"

Shirou blinked dumbly. "I have a sister? Wait… when you call me 'big brother'… _are you being literal?_ "

"Urk. Of course I'm being literal, you idiot!" the snow haired girl yelled. "Geez! I just want to tell Berserker to crush your stupid little head in already! Why am I even bothering to humour you? It doesn't matter if you know what he did or not, you're still guiltyguiltyGUILTY! Berserker! Kill him!"

And with that order, the thin leash holding back the Servant of Madness was released. Hercules gave a loud roar- then charged across the bridge like a speeding freight train. Saber braced herself with her own yell, and was promptly sent flying back by the force of the blast- deep marks being bored into the bridge by her feet as she was brushed away.

Shirou could do nothing but brace himself as he felt his Servant be pushed back. Berserker roared again once more- and he continued his relentless assault. Swing after swing of his massive stone axe-blade, blocked one after another by the smaller Servant, who could do nothing but keep up with the monster by slowly backing away- using her mobility to her advantage.

"Ilya!" Shirou cried out to the girl who now stood before him. It was just the two of them now, as the Servants had just vacated the bridge.

The girl's face was stern- resolute, even. "Your words are meaningless to me now. Just sit there and watch your Servant die, big brother. I want to see Berserker kill you, so patiently wait for him, please?"

She was correct- there was nothing he could do in a fight between those titans. He'd tried before, after all. This wasn't the first time Saber and Berserker had come to blows. But he had to do something… Shirou looked at the other Master. Just as he was the weak point in the Master/Servant alliance, so too was she. Could she be persuaded to stop?

So Shirou did what he normally avoided- he began to _think_. As opposed to letting his instincts guide him, and going with what he felt was the hero's choice, he stepped back and tried to think the situation over. He recalled their every meeting, thought back to every word… and finally he had a conclusion. Perhaps it wouldn't stop Ilya, but maybe it could reopen communication? This was meant to be a ceasefire- and Shirou wanted nothing more than for this to end bloodlessly.

"He… the he you mentioned was my father, wasn't he?" Shirou began, raising his voice so he could be heard over the cacophony which was blade meeting blade. "You said you were really my sister… and I'll believe you. So we aren't blood related. Was Kiritsugu your father too?"

"I told you to stop talking!" Ilya snapped- her face clouded by rage. "Don't act like you care! I said it before and I'll say it again, you're _guilty_ , and it doesn't matter how you try to sugar-coat it! By now, it doesn't matter if you truly don't know what _he_ did. I'll still kill you for it- for my papa's sins!"

Shirou winced- clearly, he'd touched upon a nerve. At the very least, she was talking to him again, and he'd gained confirmation that the two of them shared the same father- even if only through adoption. Ilya didn't look much like Kiritsugu had, but she very well could have taken after her mother.

" _Okay. How do I go on from here? If only I knew how to talk to women. Even Shinji would piss off less people than I seem to be doing at the minute."_

He had more information- but was no closer to the root of the problem. As they spoke though, he came to realise that he cared about finding out more for more than just the cause of stopping this fight. No- now that he thought about it, she'd just confirmed they were _siblings_ (Sort-of). He still had family… and Ilya looked sad. Whatever his adopted father had done was bad enough that even his own flesh and blood could do nothing but rage.

She was troubled, and if there was anything Shirou desired to do, it was to relieve people of the troubles that burdened them. Because that's what a Hero of Justice would do… what his father would have done.

"Ilya!" he cried out once more, taking a step forwards to retain her attention. "I don't know what dad did… but I didn't grow up with you there beside me, so he wasn't there for you, was he? He was with me. I… I agreed to take on _his_ burdens, upon his deathbed. I told him that I would become an Ally of Justice, because he had been unable to. I made his ideals my own… and if you would accept it then I'll take on his responsibilities too!"

He took a deep breath, then bowed a full ninety degrees. He shouted, as loudly as he could. "On behalf of Emiya Kiritsugu, I am sincerely sorry! Allow me to repay you, in whatever way I can!"

Upon hearing this declaration- Ilya stopped dead. Her face was locked into a dumbstruck shape- as if she didn't quite know how to react to those words. For a moment, her mind froze- had short circuited. Because of all the ways she'd imagined meeting the boy who stole her papa away from here, she couldn't possibly have conceived _this_.

"Wh-wh-what the hell do you think you're saying, you _moron!"_ She was finally able to splutter out in confusion. "Papa must have decided to abandon me because you were _braindead_ or something! I mean, who says something like that!?"

"I am being serious, Ilya." The redhead told her- his head still bowed. "I don't know how to make it up to you… how to help you. So, for now, all I can do is sincerely apologise, and agree to repay you in whatever way I can. I may be Kiritsugu Emiya's legacy… but so too are you."

Once more, Ilya seemed to have been smacked back into disbelief. Her mind had crashed due to both the sheer ridiculousness of the claims he was making… and yet also by the absolute sincerity he delivered his words.

He really meant them. The boy she'd decided to kill was apologising to the one trying to kill him, and _truly desired to make it up to her for all those years of solitude and suffering her papa had condemned her to_.

"You're impossible." She ground her teeth, while her tiny hands trembled. "You really are! You couldn't just let me do you in, could you? You had to make everything sound so _complicated_. I joined this War so I could finally get my revenge, and here you are talking about repaying me! You can't do that! Y-you… you _can't._ " Because nice words and impossible promises meant absolutely nothing compared to the tears she had already shed- they could turn back the clock and prevent the last ten years.

"Maybe I can't. But I want to try anyway." Admitted the redhead. He finally exited his bow, so he could look the smaller girl in the eyes. "Please. _Let me help you."_

Maybe his last statement was the straw that broke the camel's back, or perhaps Ilya had already made up her mind and was just stubbornly saying otherwise merely for the sake of being stubborn.

"Fine." She sighed. Defeated. "Berserker!"

At her call, the muscular monster broke off from combat to return to his Master's side- moving so fast that Shirou was almost blown off his feet by the force of the titan sprinting past him.

"Shiro!" called out Saber, charging after him.

"Enough. I'm bored now." Said Ilya, turning around. With that, she gestured to her Servant, and he reluctantly calmed. The volcano was quenched for the minute, and the hero returned to the chains that bound him. Hesitantly, oh so hesitantly, he returned to his Astral form.

"Brother… I hope you aren't lying to me." She called out as she walked away. "Because if you don't intend to keep your promise, I really _will_ make you drink 1000 needles, okay?"

All Shirou could do was stand there and watch as his little sister walked away. Saber approached him- he could feel the confusion in her gaze, the unspoken question over what exactly had happened between them.

He felt tired, but satisfied. Like he'd finally made some progress. "Come on, Saber. We're going home for now."

XXXXXXXXXX

Shirou really shouldn't have been surprised to find the small, fairy like girl waiting outside his house when he left to go to school. To his side, Saber followed, clearly ready for any conflict that might emerge. She didn't have to worry, though. Ilya wasn't here to fight. She had Berserker with her, but he was pacified, and the look on her face was more anxious than foreboding.

"Ilya." He said.

"Brother." She replied. "I've come to get you fulfil your promise, okay?"

"Of course." His reply was resolute and without hesitance or pause. He was committed to helping Ilya, to repaying whatever injustice Kiritsugu had heaped upon her. She was his _sister._

"Papa left me when I was young." Ilya confessed. "Grandfather told me that he fought in the Fourth Grail War, but he betrayed us and destroyed the Grail. And then he left me. He stayed in Japan… leaving me behind."

"And then he raised me instead." Finished Shirou, deciding to ignore the revelation about his father's role in the conflict to focus on Ilya's story.

"Exactly." Ilya agreed. "I was left alone, with only my grandfather. I was so lonely, and everyone in Germany was so _mean_. When papa left me, he ruined my life, you understand? In repayment of that, it's only natural that you offer me your life in return."

"Shiro, whatever you promised her, it isn't worth your life." Saber warned. "This sounds like she wants you to commit suicide. To let her gain an advantage in the War without having to fight me. She seeks easy victory, and I caution you against it, Shiro."

Ilya rolled her eyes. "You're right to be suspicious, Saber, but I'm not here for an easy victory. In fact, I don't even _care_ about winning the Grail War; it was nothing but a means to an end." At this, she turned to the brother in question. "I don't want you to die for me. I want you to _live._ You'll always be there for me. You won't leave me alone. You'll dedicate the rest of your life to me, and be my brother, _do you understand_. You belong to _me_."

Shirou did the only thing he could. It was natural, really. Something all big brothers instinctively knew what to do. He pulled her into a hug. "Of course."

From the beginning, Shirou had only wanted to be a hero. To be able to smile like his father. It would not be an exaggeration to say that he was the most influential person in shaping the man Shirou was to this day. And it was that man whom he had idolised, who had taken in an amnesiac boy he found amidst the fires of hell… that had abandoned his own daughter to raise him.

Shirou made his decision. He'd made a promise to Ilya, to repay her in whatever way he could. And he would keep that promise. _"I suppose this means I'm Ilya's Hero then, doesn't it?"_

XXXXXXXXXX

One thing led to another, and the next thing he knew, Shirou was being dragged around town by his newly beaming sister. She'd demanded that he spoil her rotten and fulfil his duties as sibling, spending the rest of the day with her, and Shirou happily obliged. It made him happy to see his sister smiling- far better than seeing her looks of anger or rage.

Saber naturally tagged along. Shirou didn't think she was happy with his decision- perhaps she thought that he was choosing another Master over her? That perhaps he had abandoned his promise to fight by her side in the Grail War? It wasn't an incorrect assumption- as while Shirou wanted to continue to fight and save people, he couldn't forget that his new priority had to be Ilya- the one person he had promised to repay no matter the cost.

And a Hero couldn't go back on his word.

So Shirou spent the morning showing her around. He took her to shops, and walked with her wherever her mood took her, until they finally ended up at a cheap burger joint when her tummy started to rumble.

Shirou just wondered how they had ended up stumbling back into talks of the Holy Grail War.

"What happens now?" Saber asked, as she considered her extra-large burger carefully. "We are enemies in this War… but the two of you clearly have no intention of fighting. Can I assume that we are allied, then?"

"Duh- Saber. Of-course we are." Ilya said knowingly. "As I said, I don't really want the Grail now that I have what I want, but it's not like we can run away, can we? At the very least, I can't."

"And why not?" Shirou inquired.

"My body is the Holy Grail itself. Well, more accurately it is the _Lesser Grail._ " Admitted Ilya. "I… I'm a homunculus. Papa was my papa, and mama gave birth to me naturally, but I was artificially created for this War. My _duty_ is to absorb the energy of fallen Servants to allow the Grail to finally manifest… and it happens automatically. Once I absorb enough Servants… I become unable to maintain my body."

"Unacceptable." Shirou definitively ruled that off the table. That sounded like a permanent process. He didn't know much about what it meant to be a Holy Grail container, but he couldn't accept his sister sacrificing herself to make the Grail appear. He'd sooner stop everyone from having a wish than give up his new sibling to allow that to happen. "I won't let you become the Grail."

"You are aware that if you do that, that would make us enemies." Saber casually pointed this out. "I have a wish I need fulfilled, no matter the cost. Shiro- I will end our partnership forcibly and find a new Master if I must."

"That's your choice, Saber." Shirou decided, firmly. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can help you win the Grail."

"Don't be hasty, brother." Ilya chided. "No need to do anything rash. After all, it doesn't really matter in the end. Even if you _did_ stop me from becoming the Grail, all we'd be doing is prolonging the inevitable. Brother… I… I wasn't created to last." Ilya said this fact rather pensively. Her features were sad… but resigned. "I knew from the beginning that I wouldn't live through this war, brother. I was happy to die if I got my revenge, because my body will shut down in a few years anyway. So, if anyone is to get the Grail now, I'd prefer it be you and Saber. Accept this last gift from your big sister, okay?"

Shirou felt angry. It wasn't a new sensation- he'd felt it before. Frustration… anger… but never to this level. He'd never thought he'd ever feel such fire in him for such a selfish reason. "I can't accept that." He closed his eyes, and realised that he couldn't. He'd only known Ilya for a short time… but she was important. Momentously so. She was his sister, _Kiritsugu's true legacy_ , and he'd vowed to protect her and give his life to her. He couldn't do that if she died.

Therefore, there was only one recourse. _Ilyasviel Von Einzern was not allowed to die._

"Saber, I take back what I said." He told her. Beneath the table, his fists were clenched tight. "I think I finally have it… a Wish worth fighting for."

Ilya's eyes widened in realisation- she'd came to the same conclusion he had.

"Saber, we are going to _win_ the Holy Grail War." He told her. "We can't afford to lose. You have your wish… and I have mine. I can't accept anyone using the Grail in a way that can harm others, so I'm going to use it myself." With that, he turned to Ilya, and smiled sadly. "I'm sorry Ilya, but I'm going to have to let you become the Grail. But that's okay, because my wish will be to _bring you back again_."

She smiled, tears in the corner of her eyes. "Thank you… Shirou. Geez, you're the best kind of little brother, aren't you? I definitely lucked out when I decided against killing you."

The younger brother smiled at the elder, and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Of course I am. I never thought I'd have a sister…" there was Taiga Fujimura, but she didn't really count. He meant a _real_ sister. "but you aren't so bad yourself." He concluded. Then, his mind suddenly seemed to click onto something. "Hang on a second… you said _little brother_."

Ilya smiled at Shirou like he was the dumbest thing ever, but adorably so. "Well _duh_. I said papa abandoned me in the Fourth Holy Grail War, so that means I was born at least 10 years ago, but since I remember him while looking this young then I _must_ have been older than 10 then, right? I'm actually 18."

"Wh-wh- _what!_ " the redhead spluttered.

"Heehee. I think I'm going to enjoy being your big sister once you bring me back with a body that can actually age." Ilya teased. "If possible, could you make me taller, please?"

Meanwhile, Saber could only smile mirthfully at their antics. She hadn't expected this- she'd honestly been worried that Shirou was going to abandon their pledge. Unlike Kiritsugu (Her first Master whom she had utterly _loathed_ , and whom she had realised pretty early on was also the parent of the two siblings in front of her. She was unwilling to complicate things at the moment by explaining her own situation, though), Shirou was a Master that she both liked and respected.

She was glad he had found a Wish that he wanted to fulfil, and that he had found someone he was willing to fight for. He'd thrown himself into the War, but had never truly _wanted_ to win- only stop other Master's from harming innocents or misusing their Wish. But now he truly had a reason to give it his all- he had _drive._

" _Yes, this situation isn't too bad, I think."_

And then, while she was still thinking on her Master's new-found circumstances, she tensed up. She could sense a Servant- _multiple Servants_ \- and they were very close.

She blinked in disbelief. Her unbreakable mask shattered, ever so slightly. Five people had just seated themselves across the table- four of them Servants. The Master, a young male that seemed older than her own Master, was already slurping away at his drink before he noticed them.

And then, almost disbelievingly, the straw left his mouth audibly and he rubbed away his eyes, before his gaze inevitably turned to one of his companions.

The Servant, an impossibly lovely brunette in a sweater, took the attention marvellously well, albeit sheepishly. "In my defence, she hadn't been here when I first scouted it out?"

The Master sighed- he looked absolutely dejected. He reminded Saber of her brother, Sir Kay, when he had found her doing the silliest of things as a child. He was simultaneously resigned and judging.

"Worst. Servant. Ever." He told her.

This set the tone for the rest of the meal, really.

XXXXXXXXXX

By now, it was the evening of the fourth day since James Branson had first appeared in the Holy Grail War. It was finally time for the changes in the War to be shared. Elsewhere, the Red Team were busily preparing, and would arrive the following day. However, now the Blue Team needed to understand as well.

The day of ceased hostilities had seemed fair, to Ruler. The Red Team hadn't exactly been given long to Summon their Servants and enter the War. Any catalysts obtained were rushed jobs, and any plans made hastily created. It seemed only fair that the Blue Team suffered just as little preparation for the Apocrypha- consequently, why a day had been left to give the Red Team their small chance.

She waited in the Church, within a backroom with a cup of tea. Coincidentally, it was the room James had spoken to Kotomine within. Now, she could only be patient. Her watch on Kotomine had been ceaseless, and she had not slept- she was certain that he was acting within the perimeters she assigned. The Familiars had been sent out, the necessary parties informed, and now Kirei would address the Blue Team.

"Masters, I thank you for attending." She could hear Kirei's voice through the open door. From what she could sense, the majority of Masters had made appearances in some form or another. Saber's Master was here in person, as was Berserker's. Caster, the cheater, had sent a Familiar, but so had the Master of Archer. Naturally, Kirei was the Master of Lancer, unknown to all. The only missing Masters were of Assassin and Rider… though she knew that the latter would not appear.

Rider was dead, slain by the Grey Team. She couldn't exactly blame them- nobody had informed the Grey Team that there had been a temporary ceasefire- a fault of her own making.

"Now that we all seem to be here… or at least those willing to be here have arrived… perhaps I should begin." Kirei spoke morosely.

"Not quite." A voice interrupted. Ruler's ears perked up- a sixth Master had entered the church. Ruler left the room and approached the door into the main body of the church where the Masters had gathered. Peeking through the slight crack, she could see that at the door to the church was an old man.

Step by step, he shuffled further into the church, his wooden walking stick clacking against the stone floor with every move.

"Matou Zouken, it _is_ a surprise to see you." Kirei said. The 'alive' at the end was unnecessary- they were both aware that Kirei had known about his home being burned down, and most of his Worm familiars along with it.

"Ohoh. You can't keep an old man down." He said. "Besides which, my dear granddaughter said you were calling all Masters to this meeting, and I _do_ qualify." The Command Seal emblazoned upon his hand was as clear as day.

"I assume you are the reason my Assassin has gone missing?" spoke one of the familiars in the voice of a condescending woman.

"You could say that." He said, almost pleasantly. "After all, surely I was justified in claiming a Servant after my home was _unfairly_ burned down by an enemy Servant… and during a ceasefire at that! Oh, woe is me!" he wasn't fooling anyone, least of all Ruler. The only reason he was acting was due to his position of weakness- the vast majority of his worm Familiars were gone, his home and Workshop razed to the ground and the pawn which was his granddaughter missing.

No- this has become personal to the ancient Magus. He wanted _revenge._

"And then, after the shameless assassination of my granddaughters Servant… well, let's just say I am eager to enter this war so I can properly share my _displeasure_ with them." Truly, Zouken's eyes were pits to the abyss itself, at that moment.

"Very well. I acknowledge your credentials to take part in this meeting. And with that, let us begin, unless anybody has anything else to add?"

The Emiya boy shook his head, while the Einzbern shrugged. "Just get on with it. I _really_ want some answers, you know?"

He cleared his throat. "Very well! Firstly, I would like to announce that I am no longer qualified to act as the moderator of the Holy Grail War."

The bird Familiar of Archer's Master squawked indignantly. "What the hell do you mean by that? Unless… you don't mean…?"

"Indeed, it is as you think. I cannot moderate this War, as I also happen to be a Master." Kirei smiled quite innocently as pandemonium swept through the room- the Familiars unable to mask their controllers displeasure, while Saber's Master tensed up, his fight or flight reflexes at their greatest.

"Oh, don't worry! I didn't call you here to spring a trap. No- merely to allow you to meet my replacement!" A sharp motion, and the door was fully opened. Ruler, who had been pressed against the door and looking in, promptly tumbled over and struck the floor.

" _Not exactly the most_ dignified _moment of the Maid of Orleans."_ Ruler thought to herself as she quickly pulled herself to her feet and tried to make herself look as stern and majestic as possible.

"You… but you're a Servant!" the small girl in the room pointed out. "What's going on here!?"

Rider stepped forwards, and pushed as much as Charisma into her voice as she could. "I am the Servant Ruler, brought forth by the Grail as an impartial moderator to ensure the successful fulfilment of this Holy Grail War!"

"Now, isn't this a surprise." Matou Zoken noted, a dark glee in his voice. "I remember you… I do. Justeaze had been rather proud of your implementation. But you shouldn't be here, oh no you shouldn't."

"You are correct, Founder." Ruler agreed with the Worm user. He had been one of the three families involved in the construction of the Heavens Feel ritual in the first place, so it made sense that he out of all the Masters present would at least be aware of the potential of her existence, though his surprise was shared with all of them. "Ordinarily, the Ruler Class is a Servant that cannot be summoned."

The Einzbern in the room sighed loudly. "I see. Well, I don't actually. My family never bothered to tell me about you, but I can guess at your purpose here."

Ruler smiled at the girl. "Indeed. Rejoice, for the Grail has seen fit to bring me here because circumstances have _changed_. This War has become abnormal, and is in fact the last and only Holy Grail War that can ever be created by the Fuyuki system!"

"But how?" Zouken hissed. "The last? No… not… unless?"

"The leylines for Fuyuki have been irreparably damaged." Caster's Familiar butted in. "I didn't want to mention it… but… this ties in, correct?"

"This shall be the _last_ Holy Grail War, and the largest." Ruler confirmed. "For this War shall have a grand total of 21 Servants participating, and consequently the maximum number of potential wishes on offer to Masters… is _three_."

Ruler watched as gears turned and murmurs began. Shock had seeped into the Masters, one and all, at the prospect. It was mystifying enough to imagine seven Servants in a battle to the death… but to imagine a war at _three times that scale_ , and with _multiple wishes_?

Nobody interrupted Ruler- not even Zouken. For this was too big, too important, and everyone had been shocked into silence.

"Do not fear though, for you do not face these imposing odds alone. The Grail War is now a team based event. Groups of seven shall fight for the chaliced cup: Blue, Red and Grey! You Masters here today are that of Blue! So rejoice, for you stand amidst not potential enemies… but rather potential friends!"

Now _that_ declaration really caused a stir- to such a degree that interruptions actually occurred.

"Team based? How does that even-"

"I don't want to work with-"

"- we can't get along with-"

"But _she's_ been hurting people!"

"Enough!" Ruler's shout tore through the protests. "This is an unnegotiable fact. Either you will work and fight together, or you will die alone. The Red Team have already Summoned their Servants and are no doubt on their way to Fuyuki now, while the Grey Team grows steadily in strength. United you stand, alone you fall!"

"The Grey Team has only one Master, doesn't it?" the white-haired girl suddenly asked. "I've met them. I am almost certain that they share the same Master."

"You are correct." Admitted Ruler. "He is the Aberration, and his presence was why this Apocrypha has been declared! I, like the former moderator over there-" Kirei gave a little cheery wave. "possess Command Seals. Any Servant that defeats one of the Grey Team shall receive an additional Command Seal! Likewise, rewards will be handed out in the result of any other interruptions being settled." Ruler gave a lingering glance to Kirei.

She wasn't revealing his Gilgamesh, because doing so would not only destroy all chance he had of being trusted in the group, but also because he was a Master. Consequently, he had the right to compete, whether she liked it or not.

There was also the fact that his role as Moderator wasn't nearly as completed as she'd said it had been. Unfortunately, she didn't have the connections necessary to properly cover up the War or communicate with the necessary parties, so Kirei would still be responsible for a large chunk of the legislative work so that the Moonlit World could remain hidden from the publics eyes, while she would serve as the disciplinary force for if further rule breaking occurred.

Her keeping his secret hidden was merely incentive for him to continue to fulfil his duties, as it were. That was as far as her lenience would go- Gilgamesh would be revealed eventually, and Kotomine's house of cards would begin to collapse.

"Hmpph. I've heard enough." The Master of Berserker got up from her seat, and Saber's Master followed suit.

"And where do you think you are going, Einzbern?" Matou Zouken said with a toothy smile.

She glared at the decaying man, and turned away. "I don't much like the company here, and I have no intention of working with you. My Berserker is the strongest…" then she looked to the redhead besides her. "-and my little brothers Saber is pretty good too. We don't need anyone else. So farewell, Blue Team."

With a final polite curtsy, she left the church. Saber's Master lingered for a moment- his eyes strayed to the Familiar with his classmate's voice, but then to the Familiar with Casters. He gave a strict nod, and then followed after the smaller girl.

"And then six become four." Commented Kirei melodramatically. "How sad."

"Hmph. Try to put some energy into it, you _lying_ priest." Archer's Master was _not_ happy with him for hiding his status as a Master, oh no she wasn't.

"We are already at a disadvantage." Identified Caster. "Rider has fallen already, while the Red Team will be fresh. I am still not quite… used… to the idea that we must work together, but if we don't…"

"United we stand, alone we fall." The Gemcraft user echoed Ruler's words. "Hey Ruler, is this really fair? The Red and Grey Teams have huge advantages that we don't."

Jeanne d'Arc shook her head and gave another knowing smile. "Your chances are better than you realise, and your odds higher too." After all, Gilgamesh was a Servant equal to at least three lesser ones, and it wasn't her fault that two of their numbers had decided to branch off alone.

All parties had seven Servants, in one way or another. The Reds were unbloodied, Kirei had Gilgamesh hidden in the rear for an emergency, and the Grey Team would eventually reach their full potential given a few more days.

The Teams were as fair as a situation like the Holy Grail War could be. "I have done my duty." Ruler stated. "Now, it is up to you to win your War."

And so, she turned to head back into the guts of the church, while behind her the arguing continued between the four that remained. She heard shouts about the necessity of meeting in person, and where to do it, and about going to the _temple_ , and then she was out of hearing range.

It truly didn't matter to her how well the Blue Team got along, or what agreement the four remaining Masters came to. She was merely the Moderator, after all.

Ruler sat down with a sigh of relief. For now, her duty had been fulfilled. All parties knew the rule changes, and all were prepared. The rule breakers were aware of the thin ice they walked, and the Teams had been provided the chance to unite (even if it was only for a short time before fractures appeared).

Now, her only role was to watch the conflict as it unfolded and step in when necessary. The Final Fuyuki Holy Grail War had most definitely begun.


	12. Chapter 10

**AN- Back to James now. For stuff- and a fun, new Servant. Enjoy.**

 **Chapter 10**

 _The girl had always been pretty. Her earliest and most treasured memory was of her mother, smiling down at her as she brushed her locks and commented on how soft her hair was. She was the jewel of her father's eyes, and the rose of the family whom all adored. For a time, her life was happy. Her family was rich, she had the love of her parents and her three younger siblings, and the sun shone over her comfortable home in the Netherlands._

 _But happiness never lasts, and is fleeting in those moments that it can be found._

 _Once the girl had been innocent- she had failed to see the signs. Her father, often away on last minute business trips. Her mother who, more often than not, could be found rosy cheeked from the expensive wine she imported and drunk to mask her sadness._

 _And then disaster struck, and the father whom had once bragged of his successful business, found that he had nothing left at all._

 _Bankruptcy was a terrible thing, so they lost the house- and moved into somewhere much smaller._

 _But lies were far worse- and are always the worst when they are unearthed._

 _Her father was disloyal to her wonderful mother. Time and time again, he had pursued wild flights of fancy, and likely had many more children than the four of them._

 _Finally, it was too much for the poor woman to bare._

 _The mother died when she was only 14 years old- an illness of anxiety and worry._

 _And then she lost the rest of her family. The father could no more support them than he could beg for his wife's forgiveness._

 _The children were separated- never to meet again, and never again to see their father who suffered the consequences of his business' collapse._

 _It was hard to lose them. Heartache was a sensation she loathed, but one she also grew quite familiar with. For even as she lost everything she had, time brought her new gifts. As her heart healed, she gained what she thought she always wanted- great beauty, and the charm to make any a boy offer to grant her the stars themselves if only she asked._

 _Her first foray into romance happened without her even realising. She had tried to move on and chose to study in order to become a teacher. But at her school, the principal had fallen madly in love, and when he invited her back to his office with a glass of wine and a smile…_

 _She hadn't known what to do with his heartfelt confessions and whispers of poetry, but accept. She was so alone, after all._

 _But secrets never stay hidden for long. The truth was uncovered, and her newest guardian cast her out for her 'promiscuity'. That was the first time she fell in the love, and the first time her love turned his back on her after she was cast out._

 _Once more, she tried. She found a handsome man who smiled and promised her the world, and she believed him. Their romance was a whirlwind- they were married before she knew it._

 _The saying was true, however, that a girl will marry someone like their own father. Her husband was a liar, and despite her beauty and her devotion, it didn't stop him from drinking or turning his lecherous gaze to another whenever it suited him._

 _They divorced- and she carried not only the shame of her inability to have a successful marriage, but also the experience of having her heart broken a second time._

 _She almost gave up- wondering if it was even worth continuing._

 _But destiny calls, and opportunities arise where they are least expected. A meeting with a prostitute, an offer for scholarship in the art of dance, and the ubiquitous promise of Paris._

 _Margaretha could not find love, and could not keep the attention of the men she loved…_

 _But perhaps Mata Hari, the_ sunlight _dancer, could grab the eyes of any man she wanted._

XXXXXXXXXX

I was in what could only be described as hell. One comprised of warm marshmallows and soft fragrances. My dream had left me feeling melancholic, with a tear in the corner of my eyes before the details began to blur and I couldn't help but clamp down at just how _sad_ the dream had been…

But then the sadness was expelled, for there were greater problems to deal with. Because for once, I was the first awake- it was very much out of character for me. Regardless, by being the first awake I had the displeasure of being aware of exactly how deep in this hell I was.

Once again, Boudica was a clinger, and was stuck to my left side like glue to a stick. On my right, Lily had taken to being the 'little spoon' while I was the big one, wrapped slightly around their body. By complete coincidence, subconscious arm and leg placements ensured that even in this embarrassing situation I still couldn't actually tell if Admiral Ackbar was right about the trap or not. And then to finish the pile off, Medea had somehow found herself draped over the top of me, and was curled up slightly on my torso and between my legs, perfectly content despite how uncomfortable my body likely was.

So yes- it wasn't unpleasant wake up to this. It was extremely uncomfortable though. I'd lost all sense of feeling in my left arm, and I feared I would need to amputate as this rate.

Not to mention, there would be the consequences when they woke up too…

I heard an extra set of breathing and a light rapping sound, and looked away from the unfortunate tangle of limbs I'd been locked into. Sitting at the desk, Mata Hari was happily waving at me. For a moment my heart stopped at her loveliness, but then recollections of a dream twisted and my stomach and I could only consider how sad her face would be if she wasn't smiling.

Then, in absolute silence, she gave me a bright smile, then pointed to the desk. My musings were forgotten, and she withdrew up a piece of paper and brandished it at my general direction. Atop it were the words **Nightly Report**.

" _I suppose she very well may have been a spy. It sure looks like she can write high quality report."_

Then, the Assassin pointed at my situation and she mimed laughing, and then pantomimed a man with a noose around his neck. With a final wave, she turned to exit via the open door she'd left when she snuck in to surprise me.

I desperately called her attention to myself and whispered a plea for aid- a cry for help. "I need the toilet. Help me!"

She shook her head and mouthed the words 'how about no?', and then she'd left the room, silently shutting the door behind her on her way out. I had been abandoned to my fate- it was going to be a long wait until the others naturally rose from their slumber.

" _Wow. She sure can do her job, but does she have to be such a_ bitch _about it?"_

XXXXXXXXXX

"Fifth times the charm." I whispered, kneeling in front of the Summoning circle yet again. By now, the words had been hammered into my mind. I doubted I would have been able to forget them even if I wanted to.

What was different, was that this time I was alone. I'd realised that all my previous summons had been pretty hectic, and that I had gotten _really_ lucky that all my Servants had been so laid back even though they'd been summoned when other Servants had been blatantly hanging around. I mean, any one of them could have gone 'oh, hey! Enemy Servant!', then BOOM, headshot, and I'm down a Servant.

Plus, if I was alone, maybe I could explain this whole Apocrypha thing without everything degrading quite so quickly.

My words flowed out effortlessly, and the Summoning went off without a hitch. The customary tug at my Prana sources, the flood of mist, and then the figure amidst it. I waited patiently for the Servant to speak, to reveal to me whom I had summoned, but…

GLOMP!

Like a professional American Football player, the figure tackled me full on, screaming "Anchin!" as she did so.

My head hit the floor with a loud thud, and for a moment I could only see stars. Then, I blinked away the light and realised I could feel a distinctly feminine body pinning me to the floor, while a face had pressed into my torso and was currently using my shirt as a handkerchief as she sobbed into it. "Oh, Anchin! My Anchin! I am so happy to see you again in the flesh!"

"Errrrr… pardon?" I asked her, utterly befuddled. I had not been expecting this. Even among all the Summoning's I'd performed, this was the first time my Servant had taken one look at me and erupted into waterworks.

"Ummm… is everything okay in there?" Medea's head popped in through the door. "We heard sobbing."

The Servant gasped aloud, pushing herself off me and turning to my Caster. "An enemy Servant! Have no fear, my darling! I shall protect you."

Medea gave her a 'are you stupid' look, before promptly masking it with a welcoming smile. "Hi, I'm Caster! Though, I'm not actually an enemy Servant."

"Even worse then!" She hissed through her tears. "Another woman in my darling's home? A _love rival_."

Medea could only hold it in for a second before she had no choice but to bend over and laugh until she coughed. "Me? A love rival? Oh no- that's ridiculous. I like my Master, but not like _that_. I have another that holds my heart."

My newest Servant looked at her with her empty amber eyes. "Are you _sure_ you aren't lying?"

"Why would I be?" she replied, albeit with a little uncertainty due to the intensity of the newest Servant's glare. "Look, Master! Sort out your newest Servant already. I don't know what you said to her, but its mean to make a lady cry! You should be ashamed of myself."

If a numerical value could be assigned to my deadpan stare, it would be 11 out of 10. "Oh no. I'm a monster."

"Yeah, yeah. Just get it done already. Rider's already put some tea on, so just come on out of there when you're ready." Then the door was slammed, leaving me with the crying woman in question, though by now her tears had dried up.

"That girl… she said _newest_ Servant." She turned to me, so deliberate in her slowness that I felt a sudden surge of dread surge through me. "Just how many love rivals do I have to _deal_ with, hmmm?"

XXXXXXXXXX

"And that's the situation." I told her as we both took a sip of our respective drinks. Her sips were as delicate as her demeanour. To be honest, I hadn't been able to get a proper look at my newest Servant when she was summoned because of just how quickly things kicked off, but now that I had seen her interactions with my other Servants, it was easy to identify the type of girl she was.

She was a Yamato Nadeshiko through and through. Perfect in all the little ways those Japanese loved- hell, you couldn't get closer to the Japanese perfection of beauty than her, unless you took a body pillow with a waifu on it and taped a dating simulation video game to its face.

Long hair of a shade somewhere between blue and green. A pale face, with delicate features; piercing eyes of amber; a demeanour of politeness, with inner steel for those that cared to seek it out; and a wrapping of a kimono that likely cost more than I'd ever made in my entire lifetime.

"Oh, I see. They are sworn vassals, sent here to defend you! I'm glad. I feel so relieved." She said, a little bashfully. "Thank you for protecting him. I apologise for my lack of manners."

"Not a problem." Boudica said with a cheery grin from her seat beside me. "He'll always have my sword and shield there to keep him out of trouble. His other 'retainers' are also rather loyal." At this, she gestured to the other Servants. Lily was sitting on the Yamato's side of the table, Medea was in the kitchen, and Mata Hari had gone off to powder her nose (It was quietly yet mutually agreed that it was in all of our best interests if the bluenette didn't meet her biggest 'love rival' right off the bat).

"Why, without me, who knows what mischief he'd get up to?" My first Servant grinned teasingly- prodding my side affectionately.

"I'd be fine." I said defensively- though I had my own grin on. I probably wouldn't be fine if she left me, but I sure as hell wasn't going to admit it.

"Ah- that's a lie." My Yamato Nadeshiko said, as casual as proclaiming the weather.

I scratched the back of my head sheepishly. "Well, maybe I would be liable to walk face first into a spear if I didn't have someone watching my back. But even so- no need to call me on it." I said, puffing out my chest. "I _do_ have some vestiges of my pride still intact, y'know."

"Oh, I am sorry, my Anchin, but on that I disagree." She shook her head sadly. "I'm afraid that I just cannot tolerate lies in my presence. Please do not lie in front of me, okay?"

"I'll try not to." I replied, mentally reminding myself to try to be cautious in what I said around her. So far, I already suspected that she was just as unhinged as the rest of my party (Save Lily, who was a rock of stability amidst a sea of chaos), and I guessed that she must have had a Personal Skill that let her see through lies, or something.

It's always best not to prod at a hero's personal neurosis'- you never know when they'll turn around and stab you for the insult.

"Why do you call me Anchin, by the way?" I finally asked her the question that had been bugging me since I first met her- it was the first thing she said to me since being summoned, in fact.

She gave me a look of hurt that made me feel as if I'd kicked a puppy or something.

"Come on Master, can't you see that it's kind of a personal question?" Medea yelled at me from the kitchen.

"No. It's okay. I am happy to answer." She insisted. "When I walked the land of the living, he is a man I fell in love with. He's so beautiful, my Anchin, but then he had to _run_. Oh- how he lied to me, and left without so much as a word! I loved him I loved him _I still love him it so much it hurts_ , but he made me _**hate**_ him so!"

After that, she put down her teacup and hammered me with the most sincerely joyous smile I'd ever seen in my life. Then, her deceivingly strong hands snatched across the table to clutch at my own. Her thumb rubbed my own reassuringly- almost… _lovingly_. "But that's all okay now! Because I've found you again, my Anchin, and I am _so sorry_ that I burned you to death."

I didn't even need to think about doing it. Before I knew it, I'd somehow managed to pry her off me and had stumbled backwards out of my chair. A look of alarm flashed across her face, before she settled on a mix of expectation and grim determination. "What the hell are you talking about?" I demanded. "Are you… I don't even know you!?"

"Then allow me to remind you." She said, rising from her seat. "My name is Kiyohime- you told me I looked like a princess. I have been summoned into the Class of Berserker, so I might be with you once more! I shall win the Grail, and then we shall live together in blissful matrimony once I have a new body! Doesn't that sound nice, Anchin?"

"No, it doesn't. I'm… I'm not this _Anchin_ fellow, you hear!? I'm not him. You're getting us mixed up!"

"I thought this might happen." The newly identified Servant Berserker said, sadly. "You have passed through the cycle of life and death, after all. It had been foolish of me to expect that you would remember me in this life, my love."

"One, I'm not your love." This was very much the important point. So far, I'd already seen waaaay too many signs pointing towards Yandere tendencies, and I REALLY wanted to nip that in the bud as soon as I could. "Two, I never _was_ your love. I'm not… not some _reincarnation_ of a guy you once charcoaled."

"Don't be silly. Of course you are." She said, completely sidestepping my statement as if it didn't even register to her. Despite all her preaching on lying, she physically could not accept the fact that I might not have been this long dead lover of hers. It seemed that while she lacked the customary insanity I typically associated with the Berserker Class, she still had very own brand of madness I had to suffer through.

"Ummm… sorry to pry, but don't you think you could potentially be wrong?" Medea pointed out. "I mean, I know what you feel. That love… that longing… in many ways, I still want my Jason. But it wouldn't be fair to find a random guy on the streets that looked like him and project my unwanted affections upon him, would it?"

The pseudo-Yandere smiled gratefully at the Greek princess. "You make good points. That's why I'm _not_ going to project our last relationship upon him."

"You're not?" Lily asked, justifiably sceptical.

Berserker shook her head, and gave me another adoring gaze. "No. It would be wrong to expect us to continue as we were before his… unfortunate death."

" _Murder,"_ I am sure we all thought.

"I shall instead start a new and more beautiful relationship with you! From scratch, we can start tending to our fields of love once more!"

"Oh no you don't." Lily said, rising from their seat and walking around the table so they stood between us. They put their hands on their hips and glared at her. "It was already getting out of hand with Assassin alone!"

The Servant of Madness' eyes narrowed, almost giving her a reptilian look. "And just who and where is this _Assassin_ character?"

"Not important!" Saber snapped. "Point is, I'm putting my foot down from now. This is a No-Romance area! You hear me!? No flirting, no hanky panky and absolutely no shipping!"

"I won't let you get in the way of our love." Berserker warned Lily warmly, though her amber eyes were far colder.

"At this point in time I don't even care." The Servant of the sword growled. "Since when did this become a romantic comedy? We're trying to win a _war_ you know!"

"Good point. I suppose the priority _is_ crushing the opposition first. I'll have to seal them in a bell and set them aflame, I think." She nodded solemnly to herself, satisfied with the conclusion she reached. "I can always concentrate on the courting afterwards…" At that, Berserker her tiny clenched fist into her other open palm. Much like many of my other Servants, she would have been adorable if she wasn't being so murderous about the whole thing.

"Excellent." Lily said, probably just happy to have finally taken the topic away from the whole Sailor Moon-esque 'Star-crossed Reincarnated Lovers' discussion. "So then, Berserker, what are your capabilities?"

"Ah- why don't you check my Servant stat sheets, darling?"

"I suppose I can." It took me a moment to remember the temporary incantation I was using to activate the basic spell and whisper it, but then the basic template I'd been able to create appeared in my mind. I blinked in surprise. "All your stats are D Ranked aside from your Agility, which is C. Just what kind of Berserker are you?"

The whole point of that Class was to beef up a Servant by trading in Sanity Points to boost parameters. It just didn't make sense for her stats to be so… _disappointing_.

Berserker's lips trembled. "Am I not up to your standards, darling?"

"Well… you're fine." I said, seeking to spare her feelings considering she looked like she'd start bawling her eyes out the moment I told her something mean.

But instead of reassuring me, her eyes darkened, and I felt a definitive sense of danger. "You are lying, aren't you? I much prefer to hear an ugly truth from your lips than a lie, my love. Please, _do not lie to me again_."

I flinched. _"Geez, she really is big on that lying thing, isn't she? It's really ironic how she can say that concerning her own inability to see beyond her delusions and understand the truth."_

"Okay. Your stats are… not as high as I expected."

She gave me a nod of satisfaction. "There we go. It is as you say, my stats are weak. I am sorry to say that in this War, your other vassals shall prove far more useful in slaying our enemies. I am a better wife than I am a warrior, I admit."

"I don't suppose you have _any_ particularly useful Skills then?" Boudica asked, leaning forwards in her chair. No doubt she was thinking of Assassin, still lurking in the bathroom until we gave her the all clear. She had been another Servant that claimed to be absolutely useless in combat but had proved herself in other ways. Her Report had been amazingly detailed from what I'd read of it so far, especially considering how she had been given only one evening to write it- already she had made many an informant out of the local population.

Maybe Kiyohime, my Berserker, had her own specialities?

"My Skills have little battle capability- though my Stalking Skill _did_ improve to A Rank based upon my summoning location, so I suppose that there is no place you can be taken that I cannot follow you to."

" _Great. She may be pretty useless, but at least the Yandere is strong within this one, huh?"_

Berserker definitely guessed my thought processes, and desperately tried to fumble her way towards some level of usability, finally settling on something with a little cute yelp. "Ah! There is my Noble Phantasm! I don't much like using it though." Berserker said with a little look of distaste. "In a worst-case scenario, I believe I will able to protect my beloved without fail, though I'd prefer to only do so in an emergency, and will be very _displeased_ if I were forced to do so."

"Fair enough." I sighed. _"Great. It looks like I've struck out again, it seems. It seems I have a feeble Berserker that refuses to use her Noble Phantasm to add to my Assassin unable to kill, my Saber devoid of a Wave Motion Gun strapped to their blade, my unbroken Caster and my Rider still not in a position to ride her mount… wow, we are a_ mess _."_

The only miracle I'd be getting this War would be just how the hell we've bloody survived this long alone as we have.

"I wish I could do more to help you…" Berserker pouted.

"Don't worry about it. We'll get through this, I'm sure." I told her gently, if only to stop her kicking off again. If there was one thing I'd learned from Mirai Nikki, it was this: 'appease the Yandere, praise the Yandere, _don't piss off_ the Yandere'.

"Perhaps you'll Summon a more offensive Servant next time?" Lily told me reassuringly.

"I don't know." I told him. "At this point in time, I think I've just got my fingers crossed for a Servant with a dick between his legs. Because these girls are slowly but surely killing me."

As if to reiterate my point, the bathroom door swung open to reveal the ravishing figure within at the exact wrong moment… the figure that had somehow decided it would be a good idea to strip to her underwear before emerging from the room. "Can I come out yet, by the way?" Assassin asked me with an overexaggerated wink. "I've powered my nose so much that there is no powder left to powder with."

"Oh, h-h-hey Mata H-Hari." I greeted, already a flush upon my checks due to how beautifully the tastefully applied make-up added to her already flawless face… because the face was the only place I could look at without having a heart attack.

"N-no, we're-" And then I _stopped_. Because in thinking about _not_ looking at her, I just _had_ to start considering looking at her, which inevitably ended up with me looking at her in the end. Consequently, all motor functions in my body _died_ (Okay, almost all functions).

"I see." She said. Then, a wicked smile came to her mouth, as if she'd suddenly had the best yet worst idea ever. It was then I knew, that whatever she next spoke, I was probably going to regret. "Well, if you don't finish up soon, I might need to ask you to join me in here, dar~ling~" and then she slammed the door with a hip waggle, leaving me to deal with the consequences.

"Who was she? A beauty? So shameless? Her attire!? What a harlot." Berserker stated in a dead voice. The sugar spoon had somehow found its way to her hands as she spoke, and she promptly snapped it in half, before tossing the pieces over shoulder without even realising she'd done it. "She made my Anchin blush. She stripped, swayed her hips and made him _lust_. She called him _darling_. Only I can call him that!"

And then, she said the words I dreaded, in the most level and casual manner possible. "I've really got no choice, it seems. She… is a _Love Rival._ "

"Jesus Christ Berserker, _**stop trying to murder my Servants.**_ " Before I knew it, I'd already found myself using a Command Seal to stop her, because damn it, _I'd seen her shuffling towards the kitchen draw with the knives in it_.

"… I can't believe you just had to use a Command Seal to stop one of your Servants murdering another over a romantic joke." Noted Saber- a look of disappointment upon their face at my clearly wasted usage.

I mean, _sure_ , I'd likely regret it in the future when I needed that third Seal, but here and now, _I was really glad that Berserker couldn't use the carving knife she'd just picked up on anyone_. In fact, why WAS there a carving knife in the kitchen draw in the first place!? This was a hotel! Why would I ever need a knife like that?

"You shouldn't have done that, Anchin." My Berserker told me, looking down as her prematurely prevented murder weapon. "How can I protect you from Love Rivals now that you've done that?"

By this point, I was _pissed_ , and it showed. "Berserker, you don't need to murder Assassin, because I swear to God _I'm gonna kill her myself for making me waste a Command Seal like that_."

The voice from the other side of the door was worried, and with good reason. "Ummm… in my defence, I thought it would be funny… and I didn't think she was that _batshit crazy_ … mercy?"

"Mata Hari? Darling? Light, of my life." I told her, slowly approaching the door to the bathroom. "I'm not gonna hurt you. You didn't let me finish what I was saying before you gave me your completely irrelevant excuse. I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm just going to make you wish I _had_."

And naturally, the door had been locked from the inside.

I gave a dejected sigh. "Assassin, you're in an apartment with _four other Servants_. You don't really think a few inches of wood is going to stop us, do you?"

"… maybe." Mata Hari said, perhaps a little childishly.

"Saber," I looked to my most reliable Servant. "fetch me that blade of yours."

And thus, I taught my Assassin a very important lesson about fucking with Yandere's. Namely- _don't_.


	13. Chapter 11

**AN- welp, the adventures of our hapless Defintiely!Not!Harem!Protagonist continues.**

 **Chapter 11**

"You have the potential to be a very scary man." Noted Boudica, as she sipped softly at her cup of Earl Grey tea.

"That I can." I agreed pleasantly, enjoying my own cup of nostalgia. Every other Servant was sat at the table as well, though there seemed to be a clear divide between the kinds of drinks enjoyed. Coffee wasn't on the menu though. Sorry Shade- its swill, and were I to need caffeine, Dr Pepper serves me well.

"Like… wow." Medea's eyes had a mixture of surprise and awe. "Normally you act really nice and polite, or otherwise you're boring and grumpy, but _that_?"

"Even I, who was on the receiving end, can only offer my compliments." Mata Hari was still shaken from the experience that had happened not so long ago. Her smile was stretched, there was a slight tremble in her hands, and her eyes wearily went to me every few second- if only to check we were still on opposite sides of the table. "When you decide to be asserting, you are surprisingly… _attractive._ "

A loud thud- and Assassin flinched, because a knife was pinned between her fingers- avoiding her by mere inches.

"Mou- I missed." Berserker complained grimly. She seemed truly sad at this prospect, but it wasn't her fault that her knives kept missing the mark whenever she tried to stab someone at the table- it was mine, and the Command I issued.

" _Huh. That 'wasted' Command Seal might actually come in quite handy. I can't even count how many times she's tried to stab Mata Hari in this conversation alone. Hell, a lot of my Servants are quite flimsy, and are just as liable to be killed if a Yandere shanks them in their sleep as any other."_

Yeah- Yanderes made Bears seem like Good News by comparison.

Suffice to say, I _really_ wanted a male Servant (And I _still_ think Lily doesn't count).

"Firstly, I _am_ normally nice." I admitted. "Manners cost nothing, and I much prefer to be nice to someone than horrible. Unless I'm stressed as fuck, nice really is my default position. Being mean spirited just feels like too much work sometimes, and I'm happier when the people around me are happier. Admittedly I have a cynical side a mile wide and can be surprisingly grumpy to those I'm close to, but even so. The point is, I _can_ be assertive, but I just normally prefer to go with the flow."

"There is assertive and there was _that_." Again, Medea brought attention back to the 'lesson' I gave my Assassin for needless trolling and stirring of trouble. "Like, I have the full memories of _the Witch of Betrayal,_ and I can guarantee that the older me would give you her compliments for that display and a pat on the back before she stabbed you in it."

Now wasn't that just a _lovely_ mental image to have.

"Oh yes, _very_ assertive." Assassin said with a forlorn sigh of desire, and a pretty blush. "It is rare for me to be treated like that, but I must admit that when compared to poetry and heartfelt cries of passion, that was quite… _refreshing._ "

" _Nope. Just nope. Nopenopenopenope. This is_ not _happening, and if I shut my eyes and pretend that she isn't speaking, then that means the words were never said."_

"Can we move on from our Master's… talents." Lily finally interjected. "For while he may be rather _impressive_ , I do feel that we should leave that topic behind us."

And once again, Lily bails me the fuck out. I swear that when this War is over, I'm going to buy them the biggest box of chocolate I can buy off the internet, because they'll have _damn well earned it_ for putting up with all our shit and somehow getting this herd of cats properly moving forwards.

"Another tactical meeting then? We've had quite a lot of those, haven't we?" I couldn't help but groan at the prospect. Admittedly they were _very_ important, and without them it would be much harder to properly manage seven Servants, but even so… it still felt like I spent half my time in them, just chatting shit while outside all sorts of interesting things were likely happening.

"If you are tired of them, you may always use my lap as a pillow while we, you're Servants, handle everything." Boudica offered with a smile I couldn't tell was affectionate or more akin to the teasing of an elder sister.

"No lap pillows." Lily immediately disallowed it.

"Saber, mine Servant, when did you declare yourself the enemy of all fun?" I asked them in mock seriousness. "For do I not deserve a reward after all the shenanigans I've been put through? I'm sure I'll be able to join the Archer club of prematurely white hair at this rate. Surely a little lap pillow isn't much to ask for?"

"If you are truly asking, my love, I would happily allow you to use my own body however you desire. _However you desire._ No matter who would get in the way." Berserker said with a sort of womanly reluctance that really didn't hide the eagerness in her posture or eyes.

"… on second thoughts, I'll stay perfectly alert. Gentlemen, this is the War Room!"

"Mou~" Berserker's pout was truly adorable, but I would harden my heart. It was the only way we'd actually get anywhere.

"So. Strategy session. Anyone want to start?" Again, Lily to the rescue.

Assassin rose from her chair, and presented the report she had written with a flourish. "I would like to go first. I must take the chance to show off my skills, after all. And I am a master of reconnaissance, and have already set up a successful information network. Surely it would be useful to hear of my findings first, Master?"

"You seem surprisingly enthusiastic." Remarked Boudica.

"Of course. I feel I must repay my Master and show him that _I_ … have changed." She announced. "Truly, I am a changed woman, who shall support him in whatever endeavour he pursues and help in whatever way I can."

"Wow. She's gotten _really_ enthusiastic since she _that_ happened." Medea muttered in confusion.

"Ah! A declaration of eternal support, almost akin to a marriage confession!" By now Berserker was writhing on the floor, uncaring of how undignified she looked. "An honest intent, and the skills to truly help my beloved Anchin! Oh, I am so jealous, for all I can offer him is my ability as a wife and my body itself!"

"Let's… just… ignore that." I said, though it was hard to ignore the fuming woman, who even now was trying to pick up the knife I could _swear_ that I had taken from her already, only to drop it again every time she even got so much as close to pointing it at the woman that made my heartbeat soar.

Though surprisingly, I think I was getting used to her. My stuttering happened far less, my mind drifted to her less, and when it did my understanding of her many flaws and petty actions were able to blacken the perfect golden visage of her in my mind enough that I could accept that _yes_ , she _wasn't_ perfection made flesh in mortal body.

In truth, Mata Hari is a rather petty woman, who delights in poking fun at others and causing problems for only her own amusement. And _no_ , I'm definitely not still annoyed with her over setting the Yandere off, don't be silly.

"So, what did you discover?" Lily asked intently.

"Well, I mostly focused on creating the necessary networks." She admitted. "A lot of the earlier pages are on the respective connections and informants I've found. I know the location of several Masters, and have even got the ears of several monks with a drinking problem who have spoken of a foreigner dwelling in the old Temple."

"We went there before, remember?" My Rider reminded us. "There was that samurai. I think we've confirmed a Master's presence, then."

"They'll be handy for later too." I noted. "Remember that the Blue Team will unite eventually. That Temple is easily defensible, is atop a Leyline, and has an excellent spiritual defence. They'd have to be fools not to take advantage of that. And ears in the temple might tell us when they get together." Though, mind you, you'd also have to be a fool to trust Older!Medea enough to stay there for a minute, let alone permanently.

"Speaking of teams, the airports are being watched." The spy pressed on. "I have _asked_ to be alerted on any curious stories or passengers. Hopefully, that will come in handy to track the appearance of the Reds."

"Excellent work." I praised her.

"Hmph. She's not worthy of praise! Praise _me_ Anchin!" Berserker cried, though we continued to ignore her. With that Command Seal I'd used, she was now more adorably inept in her attempts to murder the 'Love Rival' she perceived to be gaining my attention and affection, as opposed to genuinely scary.

"No. In all seriousness, you've done well." My words were honest, because it was true. She'd made a lot of progress in a short amount of time. Winning wars came down more to who and what you knew as opposed to just brute strength, so while we weren't going to be the strongest faction, I liked to think we'd be the most knowledgeable. With my meta knowledge, Assassin's Espionage ability, Saber's own talents as a spy _plus_ Medea's support and scrying spells, we could certainly become a threat to the others if only due to how much we actually knew.

So long as we learned to pick our battles wisely, and chose the most opportune moments to strike, victory was assured- even if it wasn't the most honourable one. We were still working on that first part, however.

"Th-thanks." She replied, almost sheepishly. "I'm glad that a useless Assassin like me has managed to prove helpful in any case. I hope I can contribute more in the future. Well, I've been thinking of taking some risks, perhaps. My Noble Phantasm can be rather potent if we were to use it right."

"We'll consider that as an option." I reassured her. "Mind control, right? I feel kinda uncomfortable with using that, but it may become a necessity." Hello Caster of Blue- Rulebreaker, meet mind control!

"Suffice to say, that until then, my _contacts_ will ensure that we are kept up to date."

"The army without the support of the population has a far harder time keeping their actions unknown." Quoted Lily wisely. "Someone always sees something…"

"And it's just a matter of making them talk." Mata Hari agreed. "Nobody can keep things hidden for long."

"Hidden… hidden… hidden for long… ahah!" Medea screamed her last exclamation. She didn't even take the time to explain what Assasin's words had caused her to realise- only got to her feet and turned to me with a dramatic pointing finger. "Of course! I can't believe we forgot!"

"Forgot?" I asked in confusion. "Forgot what?"

"Your Dark and Mysterious Backstory!" She accused. "Like, you promised to give us the chance to find out every time you Summoned what your 'secret' was, but then _Assassin_ happened, and we completely forgot about it in the confusion. And then today we had Berserker and _that_ , so we didn't even to think about bringing it up!"

"Dear… what does she mean?" Berserker had somehow snuck under the table amidst her tantrum and was now pressed against my back, looking down at me in confusion. "Mysterious Backstory? Have you… have you been keeping secrets from me, darling? Because if you have been, I will not be very happy. I wish to hear nought but your whispers of sweet nothings, and _detest_ the idea of lies coming from those soft lips."

"Now, now!" I protested, rising from my chair and separating from my Yanderehime. Oh wait, her name was _Kiyohime_. "I haven't been hiding anything, we just all forgot in the confusion of the last day or two."

"I must admit, I'm rather curious myself now." Said Assassin with a soft smile. "A Dark and Mysterious past, hmmm?"

"Well, we've been waiting longer, so you don't get to complain!" Medea spoke childishly, with a stuck-out tongue thrown in for good measure.

"So then… _darling_. What is this _secret_ of yours."

"Okay. Before that though, love of god, put down the knife." I told her, backing into the kitchen and consequently the door. Because I'd only ordered her against murdering love rivals, not the target of her romantic obsession.

"Better?" Lily asked, after they went over to the smaller Servant and detained her effortlessly with their superior Strength stat. Kiyohime could only struggle futilely, kicking weakly like a kitten held over a bathtub, but it was clear that she couldn't get free herself.

"Much better." I agreed. "I tell you, Saber. You are a literal god send. There's a reason you're my favourite."

"Now, now, I thought a man couldn't play favourites with his women?" The redheaded Rider chimed in, not really offended, but perhaps disappointed.

"Well tough. Parents say 'oh, we love you all equally', but even if they loved all their children 100 percent, one is still loved by 105." I told her. "And sorry sweetcheeks, but some Servants are clearly superior."

At this, the older woman pouted. Her arms were crossed crossly, and she huffed in my general direction. "I thought you said _I_ was your favourite."

"Oh, you were." I agreed without hesitation. "Wonderful, reliable Boudica, always bailing my ass out of trouble. But then Saber became Best Waifhusbando after I realised that they were the sole thing holding this party together and stopping the Grey Team from falling into absolute anarchy due to the weirdos I seem to have a habit in summoning."

"Hey, I'm not a weirdo!" protested the Greek princess.

"Medea, you're a _freakin' Magical Elf Girl_ with an inability to understand basic economics, a habit of petty shoplifting and the weird duality of mutual naivety and Tsundere-ness coupled with the strict teaching style of Full Metal Jacket… and yet you _still_ probably don't count as the least weird of us." I told her. "Quite frankly, we all qualify as Quirky Side Characters at this point of time!"

"While I find your compliments flattering, _can you get on with it?_ " Saber asked pleasantly, though with a look of pain on their face. Berserker couldn't escape, but that couldn't stop her from gnawing at the arm that held her like the dragon gnawing at the roots of the world tree.

"Got it, got it." And with that, I sat down atop the kitchen top, and tried to think through how the fuck I was actually going to tell everyone my status as a Self Insert without sounding like a madman. "Wow- I really should have put more thought into how I was going to have to explain this when the time came, huh?"

"Didn't you _specifically_ delay this _purely_ so you could do just that?" Reminded Medea.

"Geez, I miss the uncaringly bright and sunny Medea." I winced at her words. She really did seem to be shedding the core of her sunny nature and naïve optimism, slowly but surely gaining the edge of her elder self- we were all literally the worst role models ever.

Then, before I could truly begin trying to tell my tale, I realised that someone had chosen to sit atop the counter besides me. And without even a single word of warning, I was pulled down, so my head rested atop her lap. "Don't worry too much." Boudica told me. The look on her features was endearing as hell, and kind to a fault. Her fingers ran through my hair unconsciously, and for a moment, I felt far calmer.

It wouldn't be wrong to admit that I was a stressed guy, right now. Considering the stakes of this conflict and my own personal knowledge, sometimes it felt like I really did have the weight of the world atop me, even though the heaviest of my burdens had been relieved when I learned that the Greater Grail was pure. I still had tonnes of worries: the fear of death, of never returning home, of failing to achieve the Grail, of that ever mysterious Red Team and the avert threats of Kotomine, Zouken and Gilgmaesh. Even without the Corrupted Grail, this War still had plenty of ways to worry me.

"No matter what your story, no matter how wild or silly, no matter what revelations come of this… let it be known that you will always have the blade of the Queen of Victory on your side, Master… no. You'll always have my sword, _James_."

That was the first time Boudica had ever addressed my name. In fact, I think that it was the first time for a while that any of my Servants had called me by my name as opposed to referring to me merely by my position as their Master.

"Thank you." I told my first Servant. She perhaps wasn't the strongest, nor was she the most famous, or the most insanely loyal. But dang it, she had a caring heart that few others did.

"I'm really jealous." One of the Servants muttered, though for a change it wasn't Berserker (Who was too busy gnawing at flesh and arm to be able to voice her no doubt murderous thoughts).

Still, all things must end, and I had a promise to fulfil. It was plain to see that they wanted answers, and I owed them that, so I pushed myself off that soft lap and instead accepted the reassuring presence by my side alone.

"Okay. My backstory. It's kind of crazy, but I swear that I speak nothing but the truth, because I'm sure Berserker will point out any that I would tell. The first thing to note is that I'm not from around here. And I don't just mean this country, I mean this _world_."

"World?" Medea queried, a thin finger at her chin. "So you're an alien? Did you come here looking for mates, and is that why you've amassed a collection of Servants like us?"

I couldn't hold back my sniggering- her guess was as wrong as you could get. "No. I'm human. Nothing but, in fact. I was born a normal boring person, and I lived a normal boring life. The only magic I had to do with were to be found in the stories I read and wrote. Hell, as far as I was aware, there _wasn't_ any magic to be found in the world, or at least if there was, I didn't think I'd ever be lucky enough to find evidence of it."

"No magic? Then where does your insight come from?" Lily asked.

"Yeah! Like, how'd you know all about Ruler and that Apocrypha thing then?"

My gaze now was as serious as I could make it. "Here's where things get weird. I know all about the Holy Grail War and Ruler and all those other things because… well, I read about it."

"You… read it?" Mata Hari slowly spoke, as if trying to properly register my words. "I don't quite follow. Do you mean you found a book on the past wars, perhaps?"

"No." I shook my head. "It was no biography, and it was on the Fifth War in particular."

"But… how? What?" Assassin blinked. "I don't…"

I sighed deeply. "I'm sure you're confused. The point I'm trying to make here, is that I read about a Fifth Holy Grail War _where I wasn't there_. It was a fictional story of seven Heroes and seven Magi thrown together in a Death Battle Royalle. There was mystery and ideals and darkness, and all those other wonderful things I enjoyed at the time, so I read it, and liked the setting well enough to read more about it. Do you understand?"

"Not really." Admitted Lily.

Okay. Perhaps I needed to just say it as bluntly as I could. "Alright then. Let's try a different avenue. The Second True Magic is the Kaleidoscope, the operation of parallel worlds, correct? Theoretically, _anything can happen_. From the simplest possibilities- like a planet where the dinosaurs never died, or a land where Rome never fell- to the more absurd, such as a world where pizza is sentient and orders takeaway human, or where George Lucas released a decent prequel trilogy."

Deep breath. More relevance, less examples. "Long story short, _anything is theoretically possible if you look hard enough_. Consequently… would you say it would be terribly unlikely that in another world the events of the Holy Grail War here _just so happened_ to be coincidentally written as a fictional story in another world? Like, your legends here are written, so why couldn't this War be a valid story?"

"Are you saying that this is all a… story, to you?" Boudica pressed.

I shook my head. "Once, maybe. But this is real now. You're all real people to me, and the danger is _real_. I read about a Holy Grail War, but it was all just entertainment. Then, one day, I woke up in a hotel room I never paid for, with documents not mine, in a city that couldn't possibly exist. And I knew exactly what was happening, and what _would_ happen. Each and every tragedy that could happen. They tossed me into a story I considered fictional, and then left me to deal with the consequences of said fiction becoming my reality."

"And thus, the events of a story you knew became the reality you now lived." Medea said, sullenly. "You really didn't have any choice in joining this War, did you?"

I couldn't have tried to keep the bitterness of my face. "Not really. I could _theoretically_ leave, but deep down I had little options available to me as a stranger in a strange world in a strange country, with potential Magical Armageddon on the horizon."

"Uhm… what was that last one?" Saber blinked.

"Magical Armageddon. Long story. But, back to the topic at hand… well, other long story short, something dumped me here. _Someone_. These Command Seals… you… those extra Servants… this is all just entertainment, no doubt, to whatever sadistic force dumped me here in the first place. There _had_ to be purpose behind it. Couldn't be a universal fluke, because it took very real effort to set everything up, else I would have appeared with nothing, and certainly not have been magically taught Japanese and given a _Magic fucking Core_. They put me here, and expect me to enter this war, and I really don't know _why_ they did it."

By now, I was taking deep breaths, and it was a struggle not to punch something. I try not to whine about things, I really do. So far, as a mostly normal person tossed into life or death circumstances, I personally thought I'd handled this whole clusterfuck well. I'd rolled with the punches, tried not to dwell on the crippling fear too much, and tried to remain a strong Master. But now that I had a chance to talk-

Well, it was difficult to resist a chance to complain when it was offered. "I'm just… I think I'm scared, really. I knew the risks from what I read. I knew what was coming. Things are different now, radically so, but when I first got here I was sure I'd be crushed, so I _ran._ Because I'm nobody here, and while I may _look_ like I'm handling things well, deep down, I think I just want to do a Shinji Ikari and run the fuck away. So, I'm sorry to moan, because I don't regret Summoning any of you… but I do wish that I hadn't been pushed into the deep end. That I'd been told 'hey, this is what's going on', and maybe even given some time to prepare, or maybe even just had a _choice_."

I was almost done now- had almost fully vented. Of that, I was sure. "So that's it. My backstory is relatively boring. I'm just a nobody dumped into another world and pushed into a situation far out of his control, probably for Zelretch's amusement, or something along those lines. I'm nobody special. Just a man trying to survive a war unscathed, with as few deaths on his hands as possible, and perhaps become someone a little bit better than the person I already was."

For a moment, there was silence following the end of my rant. None of my Servants had anything to say, and I almost felt like they just didn't know _what_ to think. I didn't know when, but sometime during my rant Boudica had found the time to begin weaving her fingers reassuringly through my hair. Then there was Medea- she just looked angry, I think. I couldn't tell what Lily was thinking since they were presently putting on a strong face- though their hostage was far more vocal in her thoughts, as she was already bawling her eyes out. Then, there was my last Servant. Assassin- the spy whom captured a thousand hearts, and shared a thousand secrets more. Her face was scrunched up in thought- I couldn't tell what was going through her mind.

And then the instance ended, and they didn't hesitate to give me a piece of their mind.

"Oh, you poor boy!" Assassin was out of her chair before I knew it- if I didn't know any better, I'd swear she'd gained a bonus to Agility through sheer force of will alone. The next thing I knew I was being pulled into her perfumed embrace- the most comforting thing I was sure she could think to do in the situation. "Suffering in silence! Doomed to a situation far beyond your control! Truly, a tragic fate! Don't you worry! Mata Hari is here now, and she's going to take good care of you from now on, m'kay!?"

"… _is it just me, or does she seem particularly enthusiastic about the whole 'tragedy' thing?"_

"Get your _grubby little hands_ off him!" Berserker hissed (A very expected response), though the tears continued to pour; for a moment, I could almost swear that she had become a snake that tried to slither from Saber's ironclad grasp, so that she could do the exact same thing Assassin had. "Seek comfort from me instead, darling! I had no idea that the wheel of Reincarnation had taken you so far, or that you were struggling so, while I remained deaf to your silent pleas for help! Oh, never hide anything from me again, for I shall burn that which ails you!"

I murmured something like "Murgle mph!", mostly because I couldn't speak due to my face being introduced to the pearly white gates. By the time I had been released, I could barely think- the little resistance I had built to Assassin, shattered within seconds of her touch.

And then the two Servants had been carefully pulled aside by Saber, who could only give me a neutral expression. "That rant had been building up for awhile, hadn't it?"

"Suppose so." I mumbled- already feeling a little better. Quite frankly, nothing quite beats a good moan sometimes.

"Well, I can't say I blame you too much. At heart, you really are a civilian." Was their blunt reply. "Sure, maybe I was ready to jump to the call as soon as chance struck me, but not everybody is like that, and I'm certain that my first mission came with far more preparation and far lower stakes." Here, their face became a little bit pained. "Before, I told you that you needed to become like a general. I wanted you to become strong, so you could survive this War… but perhaps it was wrong of me to say as such."

"You weren't." I disagreed. "I… I want to win, now that I'm here, so naturally that means I have to harden up. At the end of the day, I could still have run away, if I wanted to. So since I chose this fate of my own will, then I've naturally got no right to complain. I… didn't want to appear weak, so I put on my stiff upper lip."

Quite frankly, I _was_ a mostly normal person. And surrounded by all these amazing Heroic Spirits I'd summoned, I didn't want to be the weak link. Most of this War had been spent trying to act as the best competitor I could be. I was their _Master_ , and damn it, I wanted to deserve that honour and privilege, as opposed to have been randomly given the opportunity due to outside forces.

I wanted them to look at me and be proud of being my Servants, if only for the Grail War. Maybe I wanted to be something more than I was, perhaps. But a false front only lasts so long, and at the heart of the matter, I felt inadequate when surrounded by such people. No 'hero' talks about their feelings.

"I'd rather you look weak than end up dead due to stress and not talking to us about your fears." Lily chided. I said nothing, but I was sure that they knew what I was thinking. "Damn it… as a Knight, I really do need to take a larger role in supporting you. Mayhaps this Chevalier wasn't wrong, but I wasn't right either. It's all well and good telling you to become something more than you are, but it's difficult to walk the path alone. So for now, I don't too much care about your apparent weakness. I am still your sword, and will serve you as loyally as I ever did the crown. You'll have my support one hundred percent of the way."

The warm and fuzzy feeling I got at their words was snuffed out rather prematurely, however, as a sudden figure came out of nowhere and punched me in the gut. I had to admit, that hurt like a bitch.

"Enough of the supportive bullshit." Medea hissed angrily. "Jeez, who gives a Hades whether you look weak or not? I don't care about you being the best Master or magus you can! And hell, I don't even care about the repercussions of you being from another fucking world and with knowledge of the future… which we should probably be making a WAAAAY bigger deal out and hasn't actually been brought up once, by the way."

"Ummmm… are you going anywhere with this?" I asked, nursing my tender stomach.

She whacked me again. "Shut up! You had your chance to vent, but now I'm doing it, okay? So yeah, I'm annoyed by your lack of sharing your knowledge, am honestly a bit wary of just _what_ you may know…" Pasts and histories and secrets best not known. "But that doesn't change anything. I'm your Servant, you're my Master, _and this isn't your fault._ "

Of all the things for her to be making a deal out of… I had NOT expected that one. "Well, it kind of is, since my presence here forced the War to spiral way out of control, while it was still my own choice to compete."

"I said _shut up_." I flinched at Medea's furious attitude. "Of course you had no choice! Torn from your home without any warning, and tossed here for another's entertainment. Yeah, you could run… _but only at the cost of basically abandoning your only chance to return home to your family._ "

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the rest of my Servants reacting to that- and I saw a general consensus of agreement.

Here, Medea got _really_ fired up. A fire burned in her eyes, and it burned strong. "James, before now, I didn't really have a wish for the Grail. Not really. I think it would have been to see Jason again if I reached the end alone, or perhaps it would be to return to my family and childhood before Jason and that love forced upon me. But I don't care too much about that now. No. If I get the chance to make a wish, then I'll ask for whoever or whatever brought you here to appear before me in physical form… _and then I'll ram my staff where princesses best not speak of_."

" _Did… did Medea just offer to do what I think she did!?"_ My eyes goggled out in amazement at the princess. I certainly hadn't expected that.

"I expect the best in everyone." She admitted, softly. "I prefer to trust, even though I objectively remember enough of my life to know where such trust leads me. I don't want to become like how I did later on in life, though. But it wasn't my fault, in the end. My love was forced upon me by the Gods, and while I don't regret falling in love… _it was still those meddling Gods faults that I became what I did_. And while our situations are different, they are _similar enough_."

And suddenly, the reason for Medea's passion at my situation became abruptly clear. To Medea, my story was like a twisted reflection of her own history- reflecting back the trials and torments that she herself had endured across her life. She had been fucked over by the gods. Her emotions had been toyed with, and a love she never asked for was thrust onto her, and in pursuing such a love, she lost everything, before eventually losing that love she sacrificed so much for too.

I reminded her of herself. A young fool, dragged into a situation by greater forces for their own amusement, trying to make the best of things and inevitably making things worse. So yeah. Maybe she pitied me. Maybe she empathised with my situation. Or perhaps she just _really_ hated gods and other such heartless meddlers, and my situation just so happened to be enough to get her ridiculously riled up.

"James, you've being just as cosmically fucked as I was, and that is terrible. So, I don't care what it takes. I'm not letting you turn out like me. You're gonna have a happy ending- whether that is by getting the Grail and going home, or by just surviving this mess in one piece. You're living through this war, damn it, even if I have to remake your body a _thousand times over_ with Pain Breaker!"

"There won't be a need for you to fix him up if I just kill the threat before it reaches him." Boudica disagreed, placing a hand upon the small witch's shoulder. It was a reassuring gesture- an understanding one. "I've bloodied my hands enough in my life, so what's a little more? Have no fear, for we, your Servants, will support you to the very end until you hold the Grail in your hands and there are none left to harm you."

"You… you guys." I spoke, my voice choking up a little. The things they said… the response I'd gotten to revealing my past… I had not expected it. Honestly, I'd anticipated either sceptical acceptance, or perhaps disappointment. Instead, I got a lot of understanding and support, and damn it all, I probably didn't warrant it. I got up and turned away, trembling a little. "I'm not… these aren't tears." I denied, firmly. "Damn it, they aren't."

I was lying through my teeth though, and not even Kiyohime was going to comment upon it. Because I had been scared for a long time now. I'd put on false confidence, and just resolved to keep pressing on no matter how much I just wanted to give up, because otherwise I would _die_. I was stuck in this war, so there was no choice but to give it my all, because pursuing a miracle didn't seem wrong. Quite frankly, I hadn't expected such unanimous support from everyone, or that everyone would even believe my story anyway.

So yes. After hearing all that, I think it was okay to cry a little bit, no matter how bad I'd likely feel for unloading on my Servants like that, or how much this would likely shatter any remaining tinges of competence they'd see in me as a Master. This was just… a small moment of weakness. My Servants had my back though, and even though they knew I was kinda useless when it counts, they still said they wanted to support me.

"I'm not crying." I repeated, wiping away at them as quickly as they appeared.

"Dummy." Boudica berated me, smacking me on the back of the head, though there was no real force or malice behind it. "Just take as long as you need. We've got your back, okay?"

XXXXXXXXXX

It was later in the day, a few hours after my mini-breakdown in front of my Servants, that I finally realised that we'd run out of time.

Assassin barged into my room (Where I was once again studying the books that Kirei had left me while Medea was beside me, occasionally offering scathing critique between her own work on finishing up that 'Command Seal' suppresser she had promised).

I took one look at the serious look on her face, and didn't even wait to gesture for her to tell me what had happened.

"Well, one of my informants got in touch." She said, gesturing to a bulky black mobile phone she must have gained access to when my back was turned. "Apparently there was some trouble at the airport a few hours back caused by someone trying to skip the security checks and making a big fuss about it too. It wasn't the only case either, and the problems the customers caused were brushed off fairly quickly too."

A frown found its way onto my face. "Are you thinking what I am?"

The dancer nodded grimly. "I think the Red Team has finally arrived in Fuyuki."

 **AN- well… that turned out a little soppier than I expected? Honestly, the original plan on the scene was a lot different, with the revelation being more about the future of the war, but characters have a habit of writing themselves, and it certainly seemed in character for James to take this chance to moan a little bit- and in turn it kinda made sense to take advantage of it to boost all the available Social Links. It was clunky and annoying, and it came out sounding really whingy and out of character- but when someone compartmentalises his problems for a later date, he has to unbox it eventually, while I didn't want to try rewriting this** _ **again**_ **. And realistically, a battle royalle to the death likely would be stressful, even with the understanding that they chose it knowing this even so. Though, let's be clear- terrible choice, either way. Run away and live the rest of your life in a foreign world filled with supernatural bullshit, with no qualifications, minimal paperwork and no support networks, likely never finding a way home… with a strong possibility that you get dragged into everything anyway due to the Command Seals and a ROB/Zelretch that clearly wanted you in Fuyuki for a reason and wouldn't be happy to see you escape. Or, fight the war, which you likely can't run from anyway, and maybe get a Wish at the end of it all. Not sure if James' reasoning comes across well- but while he had** _ **a**_ **choice, there was only one choice he could really accept.**

 **Look on the bright side- at least he's in a stronger emotional state now in order to properly compete in the war? Oh look! Shiny promise for more updates. And the Word of God that we've left Ikari!James alone for basically forever now, and will likely have some cool Holy Grail Stuff showing up in the next chapter! (Forgive the long AN- see you next chapter).**


	14. Chapter 12

**AN- It's time to get back into the war, me thinks.**

 **Chapter 12**

Circumstances had changed yet again with the arrival of the Red Team, though I couldn't say I was necessarily ill prepared for them. I had known for a-while now that seven new Masters, all unknown and each accompanied by an equally unknown Servant, would be taking part in this Apocrypha.

And now they were here. And the knowledge that I had known in advance that they would be arriving didn't make me any less anxious.

"I think that we will need a bit more reconnaissance now, huh?" Boudica had commented, and we had all agreed. We knew all about the Blue Team now- the identity of the Masters, of the Servants, and all the likely places they would be. Plus, there was my foreknowledge we could fall back on. I'd told my Servants some of the more important details of our enemies, which was just one more edge we could use.

But for the Red Team… we were going into this blind. Like, I could make guesses for the Masters based on side characters I knew about- but functionally, this could only be an exercise in futility as such predictions gave no guidance on how to deal with them even if I DID manage to miraculously guess one (Though if Aoko Aozaki or Loreli Barthomeloi showed up like I feared, then at least I would get to skip the pants-wetting phase and move straight onto running the fuck away).

We were going to need to fill in the blanks quickly- before the unknowns piled up and kicked us in the ass when we weren't paying attention.

This led to our present patrol, looking for any signs of any new enemies. I'd brought all Servants along with me on Boudica's chariot save for one, despite the risks. Saber was obviously with me to fight any Servants and Caster to support and heal if necessary. Assassin had decided to drop out on account of how her Espionage Skill only worked for as long as the enemy was unsuspecting of her identity. Rider was there to give us a quick get-away if we needed it (Since her Chariot had become usable about four hours ago- _thank you_ , Medea's Hospital boosting all manner of recovery), while Berserker had _somehow_ managed to persuade me to accept her presence.

I didn't know how much Kiyohime could help, but if it kept her Yandere tendencies in check to allow her to tag along and get used as a body shield or something, then I could accept it. If she just stuck with Boudica and myself on the Chariot, then I was sure that she'd be fine.

[ _"Guys, I can sense a large amount of Prana and my scrying shows that there is fire coming from Ryudou Temple!"_ ]

Now that was a surprise. [ _"We'll check it out then, I think."_ ] I projected back. There was no doubt that we would find a battlefield upon arriving there- it was just a matter of how massive a cluster fuck it would be by the time we got there.

XXXXXXXXXX

When we arrived at the temple, there were only flames and the sounds of battle. Even from a distance, the damage was clear. Smoke billowed from the temple itself, the outer boundary walls were missing huge chunks of stone, flashes of light shot through the night, and half of the forest area had been torn down. Even the steps we rode up to arrive at the temple were chipped and scarred by blades, while no guardian met us at the gate.

Ahead of me, at the top of the gate, the way lay open. Assassin of Blue, Sasaki Kojiro, was likely already dead, and the fighting had long since surged inside.

I looked to my Servants, and I could see the hesitation in their gaze. A fight was happening- the largest this War had seen. Between a defending force in the Temple and an invading party, the number of Servants involved was likely ridiculous.

The problem was whether we got involved or not. The only stakes we had in this fight was over the winner of it. It was surprising we already weren't involved in the fighting, but if we entered we'd definitely end up in a battle… one I wasn't sure we could survive considering my only combatants were Lily, Medea and Boudica.

Last time I sent those three into a battle they weren't ready for, two thirds of them almost died. And that was up against _one_ Servant, and this time Boudica would be largely out of action due to all of us hiding within her protection upon the chariot.

If we fought, I would likely get to see the vast majority of the enemies I'd face in this Holy Grail War, but I was liable to take losses. If we left now, we'd retain our safety, but gain minimal information- plus, we'd have no control over whoever would settle upon the ruined yet still potent Temple.

[ _"Medea, can you scry from outside?"_ ] I questioned.

She shook her head sadly. [ _"The natural defences here are ridiculous enough, but remnants of a Territory still exist up here too. No, I can't."_ ]

" _Well shit."_ I bit my lip. We were at the base of the steps, only a good run away from the enclosed circle of battle within the Bounded Field at the top. This was the only natural entrance or exit that didn't require crossing the massively potent barrier of the mountain- until we crossed the gate we would be safe.

Finally, I made a decision. A compromise, really.

[ _"We retreat, for now."_ ]I mentally ordered. [ _"Away from the gate, we'll watch the outcome of the fight from a distance. If anybody retreats, it will have to be through the gate."_ ]

This was the best idea I had. I couldn't risk entering, not yet, but nor could I completely leave behind this battle, due to that ridiculous need for knowledge. This battle was going to have consequences I could never even predict, and unless I personally watched its outcome, _could not_ even begin predicting. We'd watch from afar, and see what happened.

At Saber's recommendation, we chose the top of a nearby skyscraper. It wasn't the _best_ skyscraper, nor the closest (because I expected that if Rin was here, she was likely there), but it still offered a good view. I could barely see anything, but Medea could, and she had promised to relay everything she saw.

Finally, it seemed that a turning point was happening within the Temple. More accurately, someone had chosen to retreat through the gate.

"It's this priest guy and a man in blue spandex and a spear." My Caster identified.

"That's Kotomine Kirei and his Lancer, Cu Chulainn." I replied. "He also has Gilgamesh in his pocket, though he clearly hasn't been called out for this." If he had, it would have already ended with a thousand air bound blades and half a dozen deaths.

Still, Kirei fleeing suggested the Reds had an advantage. The depraved priest had chosen to stay with Caster, but who else had?

EMIYA, apparently. Or at the very least, he had come to the Temple of his own accord before we arrived here, because he left through the gate alone- _without_ Tohsaka Rin.

At least I honestly _hoped_ that it was the case that she was back at her home with Sakura, and not that she'd been abandoned inside the temple when Archer of Blue left her behind.

With EMIYA's departure, it seemed the battle ended, as the noise and lightshow ended.

" _But… what happened?"_ Nobody else had left, so did this mean that any other Blue Team members there had died? Was Elder!Medea dead? No- I doubted that. She could do that sneaky teleport of hers, so we may just have missed her jumping ship when she saw the battle lost.

Likewise, I didn't know how many enemies they'd fought, or if anyone had been killed. Hell, I hadn't seen anything of either Shirou or Ilya, so who knows if they'd even been involved in this?

Damn it- I sure didn't know much.

"Looks like the Reds won." Saber noted.

"It's a shame that they did." Berserker said demurely, covering her face with her sleeve. "It is a terrible shame to see a temple wounded so fiercely. This Red Team must be comprised of true savages were they to be happy in doing this."

I scoffed at that. "Not like the Blue Team is any better."

"What do we do now?" Medea asked. "Like, we've managed to stay out of the battle, but what's the next stage?"

"We do what we always do. Turn tail and run." At her sceptical look, I pressed on. "Well, it's not like _we'd_ do any better invading the Temple as it is. Maybe we'd gain some advantage in attacking now, since they've likely weakened themselves, but it doesn't change that we aren't really ready to attack a full Team yet. _We can't guarantee that they've lost any Servants._ "

"In other words, we could still be outnumbered if we attack, and considering our specialities, they likely outpower us too." Lily was almost clinical in their summation. "Oh my, truly we are in a rather weak position, aren't we?"

"We'll get stronger." I said, definitively. "We can still summon two Servants, and the two remaining Classes are very combat heavy. Although, if I _were_ to summon two more Servants like you lot, we might as well toss in the towel."

"Hey!" Medea pouted. "I'm actually a competent healer and a majestic Magecraft heavy power! Don't lump me in with the likes of _her_." She said scathingly, gesturing to the curiously sane Berserker (Were one to discount Yandere tendencies).

The Yamato Nadeshiko pouted at the slight, but couldn't exactly argue with the summation. Both Assassin and Berserker had been rather useless in a direct fight- Mata Hari had her uses, and I _guessed_ that Berserker's madness could be set upon an enemy, but it didn't change the fact there were many stronger and more useful Servants I could have gotten my hands on.

"Hmmmm…" Boudica frowned, deep in thought. "So, the plan is to return home? Are we certain that is fine? If we leave now, then the enemy will entrench itself. Victory _is_ sometimes a matter of picking the right battle, but we can't win any gains if we refuse to fight."

"Tomorrow." I told her, firmly. "When we Summon another Servant, I'll feel confident enough for us to enter the fray."

Yes- perhaps then I'd feel a bit better sending my Servants into the conflict, having secured another fighter to aid us. We'd see what we felt like, but we would have the option of either picking off the shaken Blue Team (Perhaps removing that oh so troublesome Older!Medea), or trying to make a move against the still unknown Reds.

Either way- tomorrow was a new day. But tonight, we were finished.

… or at least we would have been if I hadn't found Ilya and Shirou holding the sole bridge in Fuyuki crossing the migoa river… of which our hotel was on the other side.

[ _"We have a flying Chariot. We should just… y'know, fly around them."_ ] I decided with a solemn nod. Rider was one step ahead of me, already readying to turn.

However, Berserker clearly had a problem with us daring to not charge them, and also had the ridiculous jumping power necessary and leap into the sky and smash his axesword right into the underside of the vehicle before we could so much as swerve, almost sending us all flying if it wasn't for the magic of the Noble Phantasm keeping us rooted to the device. The physical capabilities and swiftness of Hercules would be almost applaudable, were we not on the receiving end.

"Damn it!" Boudica cried, already muttering about how she'd only _just_ got her chariot shiny again. For a giant muscular monstrosity, Berserker of Blue sure could pass for a Spanish hero, what with how he could appear out of fucking nowhere and smack us on our ass even when we _could_ see him coming. His attack had knocked us off course, and it took a very sharp rise to prevent us striking the bricked wall of the opposite bank. We'd cleared the river, anyway. We could have likely continued flying…

Had a massive gale of compressive wind _not_ smacked the side of our ride- forcing us to plummet and crash.

It was as I feared. As we stumbled from the crash site (Though thankfully not the wreckage- the Noble Phantasm still seemed in one piece this time), I saw Saber of Blue awaiting us, the golden blade of Excalibur visible for all to see due to her releasing her Invisible Air to bring us to the ground.

"Oh great, I'd completely forgotten the two of you were allied." I mused.

"Indeed. Our alliance has been finalised." Saber told me sternly, her blade already starting to revert to its state of invisibility.

"Did you have to try and wreck my Chariot though, Arthur dear?" Boudica said as she pushed her upturned chariot over. "I mean really, considering your legend I'm surprised you were willing to attack so suddenly like that."

The blonde Kings eyes narrowed. "How did you learn my identity?"

My redheaded King shrugged happily. "Well, when we first met you seemed familiar, but I couldn't quite figure it out. Then my Master wisely stopped hiding things and told us about the major threats he knew of, including you, and it all made sense! You have the _feel_ of true a Britton. A certain… _spirit_."

"And who are you?" She replied.

"Well, while I'd love to tell you my name and go treat my something-something-descendant to galette, I would be a poor Servant to do so." She shook her head sadly. "Sorry, but it seems that we must fight."

"Well this _is_ a war, is it not?" Ilya let loose a little giggle, having finally arrived along with Shirou and the form of her Berserker, hulking over behind them- like an overprotective wall. "It's a pleasure to meet you again, Aberration."

At her identification of me, I couldn't stop the snort of irritation I had. "I guess you've been speaking to Ruler. I swear that if she's got everyone calling me that, I'll be annoyed."

"Give up your Command Seals." Shirou ordered, cutting to the chase without even bothering with letting our dialogue continue. His eyes were like steel- hard. He was resolved to fight, and had a large bow made from a strong branch in his hands. "If you do that, we won't have to fight."

"No." I replied, bluntly.

"Then we'll beat you." He said with determination.

"Why are you even here anyway!? Weren't you meant to be at the Temple having your ass kicked there?" I ranted at them. "Seriously, what the fuck are you doing here considering your base of operation has just been hijacked?"

The whitehaired girl gave me a little laugh. "It's funny that you think I'd work with them. My Hercules is the strongest. The only ally I want is my little brother."

"So what, you just said 'fuck you Blue Team, I don't need to play nice with nobody' and _left them_?" I asked her, almost incredulously. "No- that's totally in character. Geez, no wonder the Temple was lost so quickly considering how they were already without a Rider _and_ missing two of their heaviest hitters."

"Something like that." Ilya said with a carefree smile. "So, with this out the way, are you ready to die yet, Aberration?"

"There is only one thing we say to death: Not Today." I retorted. "I don't intend to die any time soon. So, I'd much rather not fight. Are you certain you wouldn't prefer showing off how tough your Berserker is to those damned cocky Reds?"

"Nice try, but no." Alas, Ilya wasn't anywhere near as young as she looked, nor as dumb.

" _Okay, time to change tracks."_ I mused, already having found another avenue of attack. In other words, the weak link.

"Shirou," I began, calling out the archer. "I know you entered the war to guarantee nobody misused the Grail's Wish. I can confidently say that I have no wish that will harm others, nor that will actually change anything. I won't rewrite history, or break reality in any way. In other words, on an idealistic level, I am one of the closest you could get to a wish that would be deemed 'acceptable' by your standards. In addition, with multiple wishes on the table, wouldn't it make sense to prioritise those who are actually a threat to your ideals first?"

However, the Faker seemed just as adamant as before. "No. I can't accept that."

Alas, I failed my Diplomacy roll. "Why not? Surely coexistence is possible?"

"Ordinarily, yes." He agreed. "However, this time, I can't take the chance. Because I too have a wish I need answered, so all that matters to me is claiming enough Servant deaths to obtain the Grail."

Blink, blink, blink… I stare vacantly for a second- the mind crashes and my thoughts cease to work as the manual override is pulled my vocal cords. "Urgh… wat?"

"I have a _wish_." Shirou repeated. "I can't accept failure. I won't give up my victory to another. I'll win the Grail, no matter the cost."

Again- my brain almost shut down on itself at the fundamental wrongness which was Emiya Shirou _actively wanting the Holy Grail for something._ "Since when the fuck did you have a wish!?" I accused.

"Since I found a reason to hope for, to Wish for."

"Well shit." [ _"Okay guys, I'm out of ideas."_ ]

"It seems we shall fight after all." Lily said pleasantly, stepping forwards and bowing slightly. "I am Saber of Grey, and I challenge you to a duel, King of Knights."

Arthuria looked to Shirou (Who gave a hesitant nod), and came to a decision. "I accept your offer, Saber of Grey. We shall honourably engage in the field of battle."

"Saber." I hissed at her.

She paid no heed, and shook her head sadly. "Master, we cannot fight the two of them together. Allow me to keep Saber occupied."

" _Which just leaves me with FREAKING HERCULES to contend with!"_ I didn't exactly feel any better with Saber largely prevented from fighting anyone but Lily. Hercules was a monster after all. It took an A Rank attack _at a minimum_ just to break his flesh, and you needed to kill him _13 times_ with attacks of that level, at that.

I'd checked with my Servants. I think the only one of them I knew to possess a Noble Phantasm of that Rank was _Assassin_ , and in her words, someone without sanity was largely immune to her Noble Phantasm due to that absence of reason.

My only real weapon here was _Medea_ , and her A Rank spells would only work for so long before Hercules would become _immune_ to them!

"Kill them all, Berserker!" Ilya commanded, ripping away the leash holding back the mad demigod. With a roar, the son of Zeus rampaged towards us.

"I fucking hate that guy." I said, as Rider hopped atop her Chariot and attempt to stop him, and Caster levitated above the field and prepared to do what she could. "I _really_ fucking hate that guy."


	15. Chapter 13

**AN- I didn't chose the Berserker Beats On Protagonist Lifestyle- it chose** _ **me.**_

 **Chapter 13**

Lily took a deep breath and tried to put the thought of their Master out of their head. They had a job to do, and while the sounds of the _other_ battle didn't sound too pleasant, they couldn't afford to give this fight anything but their full attention.

For a moment, the two Saber Class Servants sized each other up, preparing for that vital first clash of blows. It was a rare opportunity for fellow swords masters to meet, doubly so in a Holy Grail War where normally only a single sword user is called upon. Because of this fact, both fighters were a mixture of wary and excited. This was a fight to the death, but that didn't mean they couldn't get caught up in it.

Both of them had Masters' they had agreed to protect until the Grail was reached, therefore neither could accept dying in this battle.

And then- as Berserker of Blue roared in the distance- the two charged. They met in a clash of steel, and the fight was on.

It became immediately apparent that the fighters shared little in common- they had very distinct styles when it came to combat. One thrust, the other cut. One had heavier strikes, the other used lighter blows. A rapier, and a longsword. Speed and beauty, against control and power.

Thrust after thrust, Saber of Grey unleashed. In turn, the King of Knights blocked or dodged each and every strike, countering in return with their invisible blade whenever the opportunity presented itself, only for the Chevalier to narrowly dodge at the last second- having already lunged into another wave of attacks.

A minute or so- that was all it took for the Saber bequeathed the name Lily to realise something rather interesting.

Namely the fact that they _were winning_.

Not immediately noticeable, but for a fighter of experience and the Skill Eye of the Mind (True) it was blatantly clear that they had the superior position. Arthuria's blows were powerful, for sure, but she didn't seem quite as powerful as Lily had feared from a legend on the level of King Arthur. And she was fast, but it wasn't like they were having too much difficulty evading her attacks. Hell- her skill with her blade was ridiculously good (Technically superior for sure, though not quite as elegant), but Chavalier d'Eon was no stranger to the sword either.

Quite frankly, it was shocking just how well they were performing against _King Arthur herself._

Lily broke off their attack, and leapt back. "You aren't at your best, are you?"

"I'm afraid not." Admitted the Saber of Blue. "My Master is receiving tutorage from the Lady Einzbern, but he has yet to be able to properly supply me with Prana."

At that, Lily smiled. King Arthur as one of the most famous legends in the world was meant to be overwhelming and yet so far she'd underperformed despite the legacy she had left behind. Lily's reason for their advantage was clear- the power of their Masters.

Lily was fortunate enough to have a Master with ridiculous Prana levels. His spellcasting capabilities were lacking, but he made up for this by being able to provide as much Prana as they could possibly need. Arturia however, had an inadequate Master unable to properly supply the Prana a Servant of her tier required to fight at her best.

The end result was that while Saber of Blue was the superior Servant both in terms of Stats and power, Saber of Grey was winning because their Master could allow them to fight at their best, while the other could not.

"You know, I challenged you earlier because I feared you working with Hercules to overwhelm us, and so sought to isolate you. Stall for time." Lily admitted, settling into a stance as familiar to them as could be. The angle of the blade, the positioning of the legs… it all came together into a perfect form. "But now I see that for a change I _actually_ have the advantage. I feel I should press this advantage, no?"

Saber of Blue settled into her own familiar stance- ready to strike at any given point. "Very well. Come at me, and I shall shatter that blade with my own!"

"Very well then. I shall stake my pride upon this strike- the pride of the Royal Family's Lily!" A deep breath, tightening of the blade and the mental preparation- they were ready to unleash it- their Noble Phantasm. " **Fleur de Lys: Sword Dance of Falling Lilies!** "

It was beautiful- that was the only way to describe the attack that Lily released. Perfect in every way imaginable. A strike which represented the true nature of Chevalier d'Eon- Duality. Balance. Refined and pleasing to the eye, and yet functional to a fault. Delicate, yet strong. Dazzling, and yet firm. Powerful, though hardly brutish.

This was Fleur de Lys, the blade that summed up their history as a spy, as a fighter, and as a person. A contradiction of handsome and beautiful. So disarming in fact, that merely by viewing the technique your physical Parameters would fall- and the very idea of defence impossible to grasp.

For how could you possibly wish to act before a sight as beautiful as the unfolded lily, shining its radiant blade upon the battlefield?

And then, the technique ended with a single thrust- meant to slay a foe in an instance.

Such was the nature of the Noble Phantasm: it distracts and disarms with its outwards beauty, before allowing its inner steel to deliver a sure death strike.

Yet despite the nature of the attack, of Lily's beauty when in action, and the cumulative weakness Saber of Blue suffered both from having an inadequate Master and from being exposed to their Noble Phantasm, Arthuria did not fall.

Truly, her dodge could be described as only as Instinctive. Even though her active mind couldn't possibly conceive acting before the strike of the sword, her body still moved itself to escape the swift thrust. It was close- almost impossibly so, but through either Luck or design, Arthuria pulled through. The thrust struck her armour at an angle- shattering through it with the force of the blow, but only piercing the shoulder in a non-lethal manner.

"You dodged. I'm impressed." Chevalier d'Eon smiled a little as she raised her blade for a follow through strike. "It takes a certain calibre of person to be able to resist the effects of my Dance."

"A cowardly technique, removing the ability for the enemy to even resist." Arthuria commented with the smallest of frowns.

Saber of Grey shrugged her shoulders. "Be honoured that I fight you with all I have, King of Knights. I would not insult either of our honours by _not_ taking you seriously."

"Very well then. I shall endeavour to cut you down with the full force of my own power." Arthuria resolved. It was worrying that she'd need to spend even more of her reserves to use her more powerful techniques, but it seemed they would be necessary.

"We'll see if you even have the time to do so, or if I shall strike you down first." Lily chided, readying herself to active her Noble Phantasm again once more. After all, her Noble Phantasm was oh so cheap… she would Dance for as long as it proved necessary.

XXXXXXXXXX

Hercules was truly worthy of his legend- that much I could admit. Even in the midst of his madness, he was still one of the greatest of heroes to ever walk the face of the Earth.

And right now, he was walking all over my Servants. With a spiky steel tipped boot.

"▄█▄██▄█▄█▄███" Hercules roared, batting aside yet another attempt to mow him down by Rider's (Now rather battered) Chariot.

"Rider!" screamed Medea in distress, firing another barrage of projectiles at the hulking titan- if only to slow him down for a split second, because god knows that after she'd taken a single one of his lives using them they had become basically useless against the Demigod.

Fire had likewise become useless after she incinerated his face off using one of her strongest flames- only removing another of the bastards many lives.

Though to be fair, I was doing no better. Battling was pointless due to God Hand and my own Servants lack of high levelled attacks, but retreat was just as difficult.

[ _"Any progress? Can we teleport out?"_ ]I mentally asked Medea, who shook her head in annoyance.

[ _"Teleporting was more my elder forms specialty, and even_ then _I could only really do it in my Temple."_ ]She admitted. [ _"I could probably pull it off due to the Mana you can provide, but I really don't think I could move more than one or two of us."_ ]

So, we were still in the same mess. Doing that would be just leaving the others to die or would be very costly in terms of Command Seals to pull everyone else back to me. At this point, I was almost tempted to use a Seal upon Caster, just to see if that could give her the oomph to get us out of here.

But for the minute, we were holding. So if teleporting was out, then Rider was our best bet, but she in turn would need a massive distraction and something to slow down Berserker so we could all escape. Just _another_ thing we couldn't really do.

"You should just give up already." Ilya noted, almost bored at our performance. At her command, a Familiar of glowing string seemed to manifest, before diving at me.

"Teíchos!" I chanted, activating my shield barrier to once more soak the suicide dive- and then Shirou shot another one of his arrows at me and almost made the shield shatter.

" _Someone's been teaching that boy to Reinforce his arrows."_ It was the only way to explain it. If he and Ilya were allies, then it stood to reason that she'd likely helped him unlock his Circuits and would teach him a trick or two- and this was it. He was tapping into his inner Archer as opposed to Saber- overloading his arrows for extra piercing power- uncaring of damage as the arrow breaks anyway at impact.

Regardless of how he learned to do that- the end result was the same- I was forced to dispel my shield and resummons it once more, opening me up for a moment for _another_ of the damned Familiars to try and skewer me.

"Stay away from my Anchin!" Berserker cried, then swept her crimson fan in a wide arc. From the swing, a sphere of fire appeared and met the bird mid-air. It had surprised me to learn that Berserker did have an actual attack she could use- however, her fan was merely enchanted, so hardly on the level of a Noble Phantasm. She could literally only match a single Familiar with any single blast.

A normal Magus was literally a better aid in combat than my Berserker, but she still had a hell of a lot more offensive capability than me.

" _Time to change tactics."_ I decided, before quickly sending off a mental message. [ _"Caster, switch target to the Masters!"_ ]

As horrible as it sounded, Ilya was only mortal, and so therefore the weak link. I really didn't want to have to kill her, but if I targeted her then maybe they'd have little choice but to repeat…

" _Oh wait, Berserker is ridiculously fast and just jumped in front of the attack, and now_ Ilya _has decided to target the Masters."_

" **Sword of Boudica: Sword Without Promised Victory!** " My Rider called out the true name of her Noble Phantasm, and from her blade she seemed to unleash a wave of separate mana projectiles. This was her strongest single attack- a B Ranked Anti-Unit blast of overwhelming force. And yet, it still would not so much as singe Berserker of Blue's ridiculously tanned skin.

If it had not been enough to return Hercules' attention to her (Just in case any stray shots struck his precious Master), then I would have called the whole thing useless.

" _Well, at least the situation is no worse than where we started."_

Ilyasviel manifested another Familiar, though this one shaped itself into a sword. Then, three more appeared too- and all primed themselves to fire. "… it seems I spoke too soon."

"Teíchos!" I repeated- flooding my scarred shield charm with all the Prana I could. One after the other, the Familiars struck my wall- and then the sphere _shattered_ , and the charm broke in turn.

"Anchin!" Berserker screamed, then threw herself in front of me. Shirou's follow through arrow pierced her side, knocking her to the floor.

And thus my defences were broken, and my only backup down on the floor.

Truly, only a fool would choose to go on the attack.

"Yaaarghh!" I roared, and then I reached into my pocket where I found my last resort waiting for me. I lobbed the vial with all my strength at the Homunculus, then smiled in satisfaction as one of the Familiar's automatically lashed out in defence- shattering the vial and sending the paralysing potion straight at Ilya.

I had no doubt that this attack would fail- at the very least, a lot of the liquid would be lost in the process of getting to her. Still- it distracted her. It let me fish out a different vial and ram it down Kiyohime's throat- this one a healing potion. Almost immediately, the shattered arrow was pushed out of the wound, and the skin started to flesh itself back together.

"That was a dirty move." Noted Ilya, rubbing her arms lightly now that she'd been forced to discard her outer coat to prevent the potion from reaching her.

"Yeah, well you're Bullshit, so stop being so smug about everything." I countered, as my Berserker of Grey got to her feet. She was shaky, but resolute. I didn't have to worry about her abandoning me- she believed me to be Anchin, and would fight to the end due to that delusion. I was still in a position of weakness- but not completely fucked.

The girl with hair like snow shook her head, almost sadly. "That potion almost went in my _hair_. It's not nice to meddle with a lady's hair."

"I wasn't actually targeting any specific part of you." I pointed out.

"Shut up. I'm getting tired of this. Nobody is dying." And then, she looked me dead in the eyes and spoke the words I feared the most. " _ **Berserker, kill the Master!**_ "

As I've said so often before, a Command Seal is absolute. And Ilyasviel Von Einzbern had just demanded my death. And Hercules was a man who damn well got something done when he wanted to, and had overcome twelve ridiculously horrible labours through sheer willpower (And bullshit Demigod powers) alone. Even as fallen as he was, this single mindedness had not changed.

Hercules was going to kill me with all his strength, _and he wouldn't let anything get in the way._

I opened my mouth to cry out that rushed Command Seal order to Medea to evac us (No matter how costly it would be), when I realised I couldn't. As in, _my mouth wasn't working_. I understood the problem almost as soon as I started actually using my meagre abilities as a Magus- thick bands of Prana were weaving themselves through my body like the mystical equivalent to a boa constrictor- invisible and fundamentally a supernatural effect that locked up my motions.

With my eyes (That I could shakily move), I was able to see Ilya still staring at me- a smug grin on her fairy like face. _The brat was using her Mystical Eyes of Binding upon me to stop me from being able to physically utter a Command Seal._

Medea noticed this but couldn't actually do anything- at the end of the day, it was my body being bound, so she could only stall. "Μαρδοξ!" she chanted, staff glowing like the sun. A wall of glass appeared behind Rider- ready to defend with the full might of Medea's Argos spell. She'd told me once during her time hammering the basics of Magecraft into my head, that her spells had high conceptual focus, and that she often took inspiration from her contemporaries at the time. This spell was said to be as strong as Hercules skin- now we'd see what broke first. And then, she announced the spell twice more- layering them atop each other.

Still, I wasn't content to sit back and wait for my incoming death by giant tanned giant. So, since Ilya thought she could bind me then there was only one thing I could do- literally the only thing I had going for me. _I was going to have to break those chains myself_.

Deep within, the imaginary turbine factory roared into life, and I activated as many of them as I could. Uncaring of what I was using them for, and even forcing to life those that I hadn't ever seen fit to use before, and then I _threw_ them at the Mystery binding me. The moment the enchantment broke was painful, as my own body warmed up due to the oversaturation of Prana running through me and the phantom sensation of nerves burning, but it did its job- the chains were thrown lose, and for the first time since this fight began, Ilya scowled.

Because maybe, just maybe, even someone like me could pose a threat.

I immediately began my order. " _ **Caster, get us-**_ grgh!"

The assault was unexpected by sheer virtue of the fact that I had never even conceived the idea that Ilya would immediately recast the thing I'd just shown I could successfully break. So once more, I flooded my body, seeking to overwhelm the effect through sheer weight of Prana. The effect held- because Ilya had almost as much Prana to work with as me (Almost- 70 percent of her body were Magic Circuits), and the vast majority of it was going towards trying to enforce this effect in only one little, tiny area of my body.

My mouth and tongue. My body was mine, but my words were not, and I had the feeling that this really wasn't going to go the way I wanted.

Still, with the majority of the effect broken, I could look away at our little Magus-to-Magus duel to see the rest of the fight. Not good. Berserker was still charging, and Rider had just been thrown aside with a massive crack as the earth around her broke under the force of Berserker's charge.

"No, no. My beloved…" Berserker whispered at my side, in worry. I ignored her.

" **Chariot of Boudica: Chariot Without Promised Protection!** " Boudica cried from her spot in the crater, doing all she could to protect me even with half the bones in her body broken. If she couldn't stand between us, her Chariot would have to do. The mount vanished, and then the conceptual wheels of defence manifested around me- the last resort.

I needed to get us out of here quickly. Every defence had been provided by now, but none would hold for long. I grit my teeth, and I _pushed_ , forcing the full weight of my Prana down into the area of my body Ilya was still stubbornly holding. I imagined a tornado of Prana- shooting straight through any defences and uprooting anything daring to remain.

My mouth finally opened, and I had the chance to speak. So, I said them. " _ **SABER! To me!**_ "

And then my Chevalier d'Eon was by my side, dragged from their own battle, and my mouth slammed shut due to a third Binding assault from the tiny Einzbern. It took only a second for them to realise what was happening, and a few mental words to fill them in. [ _"Attack Ilya! I need a few secs!"_ ]

See, I knew that Ilya would do it again, trying to bind me again and again every time I threw her out. She had the Prana to spare for such an attempt, and she had the advantage in the sense that she needed to only keep me from muttering the words necessary to give an order long enough to get us out of here.

So, I needed to break the cycle. And what better way than to have my Saber assault her so she _couldn't_ keep it up?

"Berserker!" She yelled, and he complied. Like an earthquake, he spun and was in Lily's face even as they sprinted for the other Master. Saber leapt to the occasion, however. " **Fleur de Lys: Sword Dance of Falling Lilies.** " A stunning, beautiful blow. Like an unfolded lily, the elegant Cheavalier struck with an unbeatable attack… but could not pierce the skin at all. Unfortunately, C is just too weak a Rank to scratch the Demigod, while Hercules was too mad to even be halted for a second by the beautiful act- because he fundamentally _wasn't_ thinking.

Consequently, a bone breaking backhand smacked them aside like a ragdoll.

"He's too strong…" my own Berserker muttered upon seeing Saber be taken out so easily and continue his charge. "I should… but then… what if he sees?"

With a certain degree of frustration, I threw Ilya's power off me a third time. Time was running out- that distraction via Saber had only been barely long enough to delay Ilya, but now Berserker was _literally_ upon us.

"No. No. No!" Kiyohime cried, shaking her head in defiance, though it was more a plead than a denial, though the last was shouted with resolution. "Oh, forgive me, Anchin! Avert your eyes!"

And then all my fears came to fruition as Hercules began his attack. The first defence crumbled almost instantly due to a swing more akin to a hurricane of force than an attack. The legendary defences of the Argo were no match for Hercules when he truly wanted them gone. Three seconds of shocked, horrified cracking, and he was already before me and the final defence.

A deep breath, I shut my eyes (So as not to let my voice leave me in fear), and I began. " _ **Caster,**_ "

An immediate interruption- Berserkers roar accompanied his attempt to crush Rider's Noble Phantasm before I could so much as utter my second word "▄█▄██▄█▄█▄███"

I heard the conceptual wheels clashed with the stone axe-sword of Hercules and held for a long, impressive moment… and yet like everything else Hercules faced, I heard it splinter and tear apart. The shield of protection crumbled, and my final defence had fallen.

My second word- spoken. " _ **save-**_ "

A shove. My eyes opened in alarm, and I caught a glimpse of Kiyohime standing in front of me as I hit the ground. My mouth clamped shut as I hit it, and I would have curse at her for preventing me from speaking the final words of my order out of some misguided desire to protect me, had I not been caught stumped by the sparks of pale, azure light now radiating from her body, and the feeling of the Prana drainage in our connection rapidly multiplying. It was the largest single sum of power any one Servant had ever taken from me at any given time.

I had the sudden feeling that I was going to see Kiyohime's Noble Phantasm.

" **Samadhi Through Transforming Flames!** " she was somehow able to roar in the face of the wordlessly raging titan before its axe fell… and then the petite girl standing futilely in the way of an unstoppable man became a _Dragon_.

It was so bright that I had to avert my eyes. So warm that my shirt was drenched in sweat almost immediately. Around me, the fires raged and spun, and a great cry split the heavens. The world itself trembled from the sheer Weight of that roar. By all rights, I should have been terrified. It felt like I was surrounded on all sides by a pressure great enough to crush me whole- I was in the eye of the firestorm.

Yet despite this, I could only feel reassured. Because this fire… I could _feel it_. There was a connection there, and I understood why I felt so reassured. Because Kiyohime had somehow become this inferno, therefore standing at the centre of her blazing form was the safest place in the world for me. So long as I did not tell her a lie, _Kiyohime could never possibly even conceive of hurting me, her Anchin._

Kiyohime bellowed once more- loud enough to deafen me and silence anything anyone could have said at her appearance. And then- the flame surrounding me moved with purpose. I realised that it wasn't fire- not really. I'd felt like I was in the centre of a tornado of fire merely because Kiyohime had been encircling me with her serpentine form. And now, her body shifted, and the Dragon she had become had chosen to go on the attack.

Hercules had dared attack me, her beloved treasure. And much as Dragons tended to be about threats to their treasure, _she was going to burn him alive_.

I could see him- Berserker of Blue. Through the fire- I could just make out his tall and dark form. And then Kiyohime charged him down- and her jaws opened wide to swallow the Demigod whole.

Her charge ended, and she spun around in another small arc, ready to charge down Hercules again. The Demigod in question had been incinerated completely- there was no question of that. But his body had already been reconstructed… making it all the more anticlimactic when Kiyohime ploughed into him once more- burning him alive before he even had the chance to fight back against the incredibly ridiculous entity which was known only as a Dragon.

Again, Kiyohime finished her onslaught- but gave another grave roar upon realising her enemy was still standing. She chose a different strategy this time. As opposed to devouring him or burning him, it was time to _crush him_. She circled around him, then wrapped around tight as a noose. This was a slower death- Hercules' blade was long since molten slag, but the Demigod had the chance to put up a valiant effort at trying to break the Dragon in two with his bare hands.

Kiyohime still glowed too brightly for me to tell- but it wouldn't surprise me if he'd broken through her scales through sheer strength. And then his body was crushed and thrown aside- and Berserker of Blue lost another life to Kiyohime.

"ENOUGH!" a voice bellowed- finally carving through the impossible bellow of the Phantasmal Creature. I could see her- the King of Knights… she had finally managed to catch up with us after having her opponent stolen from her mid fight… _and she was visibly angry._ "I am a Knight, not just a King… and knights _kill_ Dragons!"

The Dragon my Berserker had become roared in challenge, for she had found a foe actually worthy of destroying…

… and was consequently about to _die_.

"KIYOHIME!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. I raised my arm high- and red light shone even through the material of my shirt. I still had two Command Seals, and Kiyohime was staring down an _Excalibur_. Even with her new and bullshit status as a Dragon, I didn't know if she could survive a blow from the Strongest Noble Phantasm in the World. " _ **Esca-**_ _"_

" **EX-"**

A sudden weightless feeling. Caster, largely unharmed from the assault so far as she'd fighting at range, made her move. "Emfanízomai!" I heard her quickly say, and then it felt like I was pulled through an envelope- and my throat lost the ability to do anything but gasp frantically as two worlds overlapped around me, and then in a second, one overwrote the other.

A blink of confusion. My surroundings were different- I was further along the river's edge. I could see it- in the distance. The Fuyuki Bridge was oh so far away, and I understood what had happened. Caster had heard Saber of Blue and my Berserker of Grey, and understood that the battle had risen to a scale we couldn't imagine. Saber… Rider… herself… none of them could help, and none could protect me.

Because that area was about to be levelled- either by the Dragon or the King, and _I_ sure wasn't going to survive that. So she teleported me to safety. She couldn't teleport _everyone_ but moving one or two people seemed to be within her abilities.

However, she also doomed Berserker- _because Command Seals only work if the words are spoken_. And Caster had stolen my breath with that spell. Those few seconds it took to recover… that was all that was needed for it to become too late.

"- **CALIBUR!** " and then the world turned to gold- and I saw the Sword of Promised Victory do as it promised… granting victory. The hopes of the world, the pure glow of everybody's dreams, supercharged and collected into the Strongest Noble Phantasm… and then, the light was released.

By the time the glow faded- I could see the Dragon begin to fall apart into particles of light, its scales peeling off and its mass crumble. The blade has struck true… and Kiyohime was certainly dying. I didn't know where Saber was, and I didn't care, because here and now Kiyohime was my only concern.

I turned to my Caster with a look of utmost urgency and determination. Kiyohime had come through for me when no one else could. She saved my life. She used her Noble Phantasm, and caused devastation I couldn't imagine a girl like her causing. And now, she was likely dying due to using the Noble Phantasm she had desired to never use under any circumstances.

And damn it all, but despite her madness and her problems, she'd saved me… _and I refused to let her die._

" _ **Save her.**_ " That was the Command I gave. I was finally able to give Medea a command, albeit 'save her' as opposed to 'save us'. Medea was a ridiculously good Healer, and her Noble Phantasm had put Boudica and Lily back into stability after they almost died to Medusa and her bullshit Pegasus. So damn it, she _would_ save Kiyohime. She hadn't fallen apart yet, and Pain Breaker could heal all but death itself.

Caster nodded, and then with a grimly determined look of her own, cast once more. "Emfanízomai!"

Another surge of power- because it took great quantities of power of break through a Dragons defences and affect them with Magecraft and even more so to affect something this undeniably close to death. Still, I had the power to spare, and she'd had a Command. If this couldn't save her, nothing was.

The ripple of Medea's teleportation spell wrapped around the dragon parts in the distance, and there was great resistance… but eventually the world rippled, and the Dragon's decaying corpse was dumped before us. It was even more disconcerting to see the Dragon up close, to see that strong creature wounded to such a degree. I was almost glad that a human body was in the midst of the muscle and gore of the dying dragon- Kiyohime's true self. The damage she'd suffered in battle had transferred over, and half of her entire form was gone- leaving only bloody chunks and mangled bones behind- but she was there.

I rushed to her side and grabbed the one hand she had left. I felt it- a sign of life. "Please don't die on me." I begged. The hand clenched ever so slightly. Kiyohime was stubborn, I knew she was. Hell, she even had a Skill, Flame-Coloured Kiss, just how far she was willing to go to get what she wanted. It was a symbol of her determination to wish to capture her Anchin's attention and consequently his lips, and while I sure wasn't offering to pucker up, she could definitely feel my presence. So long as the possibility of a kiss existed, no matter small, she would push aside all obstacles in her way and carry on if given the means.

She wanted to stand by my side; she wanted me to love her. Ergo, she couldn't die- not quite yet. My words only reinforced that perception. Because damn it, _Yandere's are scarily predictable sometimes._

Medea had rushed to my side too- and had pressed her staff against the still enduring body. " **Pain Breaker!** " she declared, and so all flaws must vanish, and all wounds be repaired. Light flooded over her, and then she began to heal. Impossibly slow, but she _healed_. A recording in reverse: the bones snapped together, new ones appeared from nothing, flesh bubbled back into existence to coat newly made muscles, and cuts, bruises and burns of all sorts faded away to reveal porcelain skin.

"An…chin?" Kiyohime asked, her amber eyes opening. As she laid there, she seemed more vulnerable than I'd ever seen her before.

"Yes. I'm here." I told her- gripping her hand tighter. Now wasn't the time to argue against that name. I would happily accept that name for a while longer, if only Berserker survived. And she had. She'd taken an Excalibur to the face- and only survived it due to my excellent healer. Truly, Medea was earning her paycheck…

"Did you… watch?" she demanded weakly- panic in her tone. "Did you _see_?"

"I did." I admitted.

At this, she flinched. "Tell me the truth. Did you find me ugly?"

Upon hearing that question, I had no other option but to laugh. Was she _ugly!?_ Truly, she had to be a Berserker, because she had the worst priorities imaginable! "You just _beat the shit out of Hercules and tanked an Excalibur for me_ , and the question you choose to ask is whether I think you're _ugly_!?"

"H-hey! Don't laugh at me!" She protested from the floor- blushing a little, despite my words.

"I'm just teasing you. But to answer the question you asked… I don't. Damn it, you turned into a _mother freakin' Dragon_. A Dragon made of FIRE. _That_ is AWESOME." I declared resolutely. "Geez, why'd you even worry about that? I think I like you a lot more now knowing you can kick as much ass as you can."

Because all this time I'd been asking for a Ridiculous Servant, and time and time again I'd been denied… or so I'd thought, since I'd had a bloody Dragon unknowingly slumbering besides me.

At my words, her cheeks gained the faintest of red shades. "Words like that aren't exactly poetry to the ears of a lady, you know. We are hardly meant to 'kick ass', as you say."

"Kiyohime, Badass is Badass, and knows no gender. But if it makes you feel better, you make for a very elegant dragon. Very impressive."

"I'm glad." She said, sighing softly. It seems she found that compliment more appealing than my first. "I've always considered my other form unsightly, you see. Through envy and hatred, I assumed that form and I killed you, my love. I chased you as you ran, and mercilessly burned you alive. So, I'm happy that you don't hate me, or flinch at the thought of the monster I become."

This time it was my turn to blush. I was bad with direct assaults like that, and it was difficult to not flush at an honest message like that from a beautiful girl… even though she also happened to be madder than a hatter when it came to me. "Tch. You've been a bit troublesome so far, but that's par the course for a Berserker Class Servant. Still, you took on that form to save my life, so I could never hate it. Or you, either. You're murderous as hell, but I think I can bear with you."

"Thank you then, my love." She smiled, and then before I could react she lunged upwards and slammed her lips against my own, wrapping her arms around me to pull me closer to her, and so there was no escape. For a moment, my mind utterly evaporated before her aggressive direct assault (I was fairly sure she'd slipped a tongue in while my defences were down). Then I properly understood what was happening, and found I couldn't pull away.

"Uhum!" A cheery voice interrupted. My eyes darted away from the girl kissing me, and I saw Medea leaning over with us with a distressingly cute expression. "Is this _really the time!?_ "

"My apologies." Berserker told her with a smile, after having broken our impromptu kiss. I took the lapse in her snogging to shuffle the hell away- still completely confused by what had just happened. The Japanese Spirit didn't seem upset by my retreat, and instead licked her lips in satisfaction- and I was certain nothing would have been able to keep the smile from her face. "But is it not customary for the hero to give the beautiful maiden a kiss after the dragon is slain?"

"Bu-wha-but you _were_ the dragon!" Medea accused. "Plus, the knight kissed the maiden, not the other way around!"

"Ah, but Anchin needed to be rescued, so I feel he matches the role of the maiden well enough." Kiyohime determined, an adorable flush upon her cheeks.

"Thanks," I glared, though with a blush of my own "it's nice to know I'm so good at being unable to get myself out of trouble."

"A-anyway, that's really missing the point!" Medea continued with a massive pout. "This still isn't the time for kisses anyway! We've got stuff to do!"

"Indeed." Another voice intervened, bringing a smile to my face.

"Boudica!" I yelled in happiness. Because there she was. Bloody and bruised, and with a pained look upon her face.

"And what am I? Chopped liver?" Lily chipped in too, limping into my line of sight. They looked to be in just as bad shape as Rider- as if they were barely putting one foot in front of another.

I couldn't hold myself back from jumping to my feet and physically pulling the two Servants into a hug. I'd honestly been worried for them- although they'd unfortunately only been at the edge of my thoughts once _Dragon!Kiyohime_ happened. They'd both been battered pretty badly by Hercules before Kiyohime curbstomped him, and then that area was hit by both Dragon Fire and a shot from Excalibur… I'd honestly feared they might have died back there, as I hadn't been in the state of mind to check my Prana connections to them.

"… hmmph, it's not like _I_ wanted a hug for healing them all or anything either…" Medea mumbled under her breath- not even trying to hide her Tsundere tendencies. With an eyeroll and a pointed look to the two I was hugging, we shuffled closer to the Caster, and she took the hint and joined the 'yay we're still not dead!' group hug.

"I'm so _jealous_." Berserker growled from her spot on the floor. Unfortunately for her, she was still trying to recover from an Anti-Fortress Noble Phantasm to the chest and had all but collapsed after stealing a kiss from me, so couldn't exactly get to her feet to join in.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Due to my A Ranked Endurance Skill, I was able to ignore my wounds," began Boudica. "So, when I saw Berserker transform, I decided to evacuate the field. I grabbed Saber, and I ran, trusting Caster to take care of you. Then when I saw Berserker _seemingly_ die, I decided to track you down using our connection."

"Well, I'm glad we all lived through that." Hesitantly, I broke off the hug, and stepped away. "Honestly, I'd thought we were all goners there."

"Me too." Admitted Rider. "If it hadn't been for Kiyohime, then we would have all been slaughtered. Hercules truly is a terrifying opponent. Most of us couldn't even scratch him."

"At least he's dead." I smiled a little, at the thought. He wouldn't be troubling anyone else after Kiyohime _literally_ crushed him. Against a Dragon of pure fire, it seemed that even Hercules had met his match. Perhaps if he'd been summoned in another Class and had his full power available to him he would have stood a chance, but without it he couldn't overcome that level of Power.

Dragons like Kiyohime made entities like Medusa's Pegasus look like a common stallion.

"Not… exactly." Admitted Medea sheepishly. "I've been scrying since the others arrived, and I can see Prana sources amidst the ruins. Like, from what I can see, it looks like everyone else escaped."

"What. The. Fuck!" I shouted up to the heavens. "That's not fair! Why did Shirou's bullshit Protagonist powers have to kick in! That should have killed them! At least _one_ fatality, surely!? Nobody can walk off that!"

"On the other hand, were we not unlikely to all Survive as well?" pointed out Lily with a soft frown. "Really, we should count our blessings that we all escaped with our lives."

"Good point." I agreed. I'd much rather we all live through this War, than we kill all our enemies. "Even so… it just feels a little cheap, you know?"

At this Kiyohime spoke up. "Not… necessarily. I remember you said he had eleven extra lives? Well, Caster removed two of those according to that little girl. And then I surely removed many more through my attacks. I guess that Saber's Master took Berserker of Blue's out of range once I transformed, and that the Servants joined them afterwards."

"Either way, we bloodied them." Rider concluded. "They'll know not to think lightly of us. Because we've wounded them terribly so, and they'll be feeling this loss for days to come."

So there was that. Hercules was only truly formidable due to his God Hand Noble Phantasm cancelling all B Rank or lower attacks, and granting him his revivals. Now that we'd likely removed most of them, it would only take a few well-placed shots from the right Servant to bring down the weakened Demigod.

"Good work then, everyone." I clapped my hands together. "I don't think the gains we made balance out all the losses we've taken… but this was undoubtedly a _win_. Now let's get back to the hotel so that can settle down and properly heal ourselves."

It had been a tiring day, and now I was just glad it was over…

XXXXXXXXXX

… except that the day wasn't over. There it was, our hotel, and it was aflame. A great inferno had been started, and it had engulfed the whole building. Smoke poured out into the sky in such great intensity that it rivalled that of the damage at the Temple.

In other words, our hotel had been attacked, invaded and fundamentally destroyed.

The place I'd called home for the last few days, the table we'd had so many discussions around, and the bed we'd all shared…

They were all gone. Taken from us. And we'd had no idea that it had happened.

"What happened!?" Medea asked in utter confusion. "I didn't sense this at all! And what about Assassin!? She'd been left behind!? Why didn't the dumb bimbo warn us!?"

"Ummm… Medea, its gone." I pointed at my hand- or more accurately the spot upon my finger which was now missing its Telepathy ring. Maybe it had been struck by a stray shot, or been weakened enough to slip from my finger, or had been destroyed by the ambient power of Kiyohime's Dragon form. It didn't matter- either way, the ring was gone. Consequently, any warnings Mata Hari could have given had no way of getting through to me.

If I couldn't still feel the ever-present feeling of her sipping from my Magic Core, I would have been very worried.

And then- the flames parted, as if recognising their proper targets had arrived. From the flaming wreckage, a man emerged. A smirking blonde dressed in the typical attire of a Magus: dark formal wear, with a red coat and top hat. I recognised him almost immediately- one of the primary antagonists of Kara No Kyokai: Cornelius Alba!

" _Oh, how I wish I'd actually seen Kara No Kyokai now, as opposed to stumbling across him in a wiki run!"_ After all- I could barely remember anything about him save for his status as an antagonist, and the fact that he was a ridiculously competent flame mage.

And by his side, a Servant stood patiently. Long, dark hair, wearing what seemed to be an ornate lab coat, and wielding a sword that glowed softly.

Alba's eyes lit up, as it seemed that he could see from my place far down the street. He turned to me, and gave me an overexaggerated bow- tipping his top hat so low it almost touched the floor. Then, he righted himself and planted his headgear back atop his blonde locks. His lips made an exaggerated set of shapes- and I recognised the silent word that came from his arrogant smirk.

"Run."

The five us didn't even hesitate. We merely turned our backs on our ruined base of operations and fled into the night.

 **AN- wow… in some ways I liked this fight, and in others I didn't. Fun fact- its hard to write a good ol' fight scene when your SI basically has the ability to just teleport away via Command Seal Bullshit. My first draft of this fight missed out the Mystic Eyes of Ilya, but consequently seemed silly,** _ **because what idiot wouldn't just spend the Command Seals and run away?**_ **But no- I wanted Kiyohime to go all dragony. So I edited, and the Mystic Eyes seemed the way to go. Because fun fact- the one flaw of Command Seals is that they require words to physically be spoken by the caster. The Servant doesn't need to hear them, but the words** _ **do**_ **have to be vocalised. And speaking is no free action.**


	16. Chapter 14

**AN: And now, back to your regularly scheduled serving of James flailing about and generally being put in more troubling scenarios from his own Servants than his enemies. A little shorter than I would have liked, but the next one should have a lot more substance to it.**

 **Chapter 14**

This evening had been a disaster, through and through. Some elements had turned out better than others, but the overall mood of our party was bleak as we shuffled into the harbour-side warehouse we'd scouted out before.

Firstly, we'd failed to gain much info on the Red Team, save for the fact that they'd kicked the Blue's out of the Temple, and that one of their Masters' was _Cornelius Bloody Alba_ , while his Servant wielded a blade of some manner.

Next had been Ilya and Shirou. Our survival there hadn't come down to our own personal skill, but rather luck and the fact that we (Unlike most groups of Servants) had a reliable healing method to fall back on. Without Medea, many of us would have either died to Hercules or by Arthuria's Excalibur.

Finally, our base of operations had been destroyed, and we'd had little choice but to flee. We were all tried and bloody, exhausted to our cores. Medea had patched up the worst, but it takes time to recover, and when we saw Alba we just couldn't feel confident in defeating a fresh Master and unknown Servant when most of us were so weakened.

Considering just how knackered we were, it was lucky that Alba had decided against pursuing us, and that we had already had a backup base sorted. The warehouse was just as run down as the last time I'd seen it, but that was fine, as long as nobody knew we were here and we had a break to think.

"Yoohoo!" A voice called out from one of the corners of the warehouse- I hadn't even noticed her as we stumbled in and took seats at a set of cheap plastic chairs that I only now realised wasn't here before.

"Assassin." I greeted her as she stepped out of the darkness and towards us, relief in my tone. Even though I had known that she still lived due to the Prana connection between us, that didn't stop me from being massively relieved to see that she was still alive and mostly unhurt. Her clothing had been singed (To reveal more delicious skin than normal- _and damn it, stop it brain!_ ), and her demeanour was glum, but she was _alive_.

The spy took one look at our own battered party and knew at once that our evening had likely been just as shitty as hers. Without another word, she leant down and pulled me into a reassuring hug. "Hey, look on the bright side. We're all still alive, aren't we hon?"

"Hands off him, you skank." Kiyohime hissed, but her voice lacked its usual venom. I think we were all to out of it to truly have any heat in our words.

I pulled myself from the _really nice_ hug to ask her the important question. I was relieved that we all escaped our scenarios alive, but that didn't mean that I needed answers any less than before. "What happened at the hotel?"

"The evening started off fine. No problems at all, until the fire started. It came out of nowhere and engulfed the building. I saw him, the Master, as I fled. His Servant was helping with the fire too, so I assume that he's a Caster. He'd clearly known we were there and had been heading up to the room when I barely avoided him. Luckily, my Espionage Skill meant he couldn't identify me as an enemy Servant, so I slipped past unnoticed. After that, I fled into the streets and went to ground for a while and tried to contact you, and when that failed I left for our backup base. And now here we are."

"I'm glad you survived." Lily said with a little smile. "It's always a shame when a fellow spy falls into the enemy hands. I feel we'll need all the information we can in the future."

She nodded her head. "I'm sure we will. Can I assume that your own information gathering mission went badly too?"

"We almost died." Admitted Rider tiredly. "Sure, we learned about a big fight that happened in the Temple, likely resulting in the Blue Teams eviction, but it wasn't worth the beating we took. If it hadn't been for Kiyohime, Hercules would have butchered us all."

"Aye." I shuddered a little at the thought of dark giant of pure muscle. He was a scary, scary man and I couldn't be happier that he'd lost his most powerful of weapons when he had been summoned- his mind. "She really bailed us out."

"Our petite Berserker? Oh my, she must have some hidden depths buried below her cold demeanour." Assassin commented, fanning her face lightly with her hand and drawing attention to her-

Rider smacked me around the back of the head, knocking me back into the conversation. I gave her a little nod of thanks. "Hidden depths? How's about a dragon in sheep's clothing."

"Very impressive then." Assassin said with glaringly false surprise.

"I saved him," Kiyohime said softly. "that is more than you have done."

At that, she frowned prettily. "You make a good point. I still feel like I contribute the least to this Team, and it makes me feel a little guiltier that I cannot accomplish my namesake of assassination."

Medea shook her head and placed a reassuring hand on the much taller woman's shoulder. "Never feel guilty for being unable to kill."

A small cough. Lily drew our attention back to themselves. "As much as I am enjoying this conversation, I feel that perhaps we should move on. We've moved to this new base, but we shouldn't assume that we are safe."

"Ahh! Good point!" Medea startled, and then promptly sped off away from our loose gathering by the inner entrance to the warehouse. "I've got to start turning this place into my Hospital while I still can! Not to mention I'll need to resupply and restart production of goods! Don't think I'm not aware of that charm breaking!"

"That girl sure can be excitable." Mata Hari said fondly as the god-blooded girl immediately started muttering to herself in Ancient Greek. "And she makes good points. Perhaps I should start on my job too, and head on out to check up on contacts. See what I can find out. I refuse to be a burden."

"Not tonight." My denial was almost as absolute as a Command Seal, it was that firm. "Call me soppy, but I… I'm a little scared right now. We almost died far too many times tonight. _Far too close._ None of us should be alone at this point, and I'd much rather have you here in the warehouse, if only so I can see that we're all still alive and kicking."

The way she looked at me was doting, almost obligingly so, but I was sure I could see relief in her eyes too. She'd said she had given up on having her wish granted by the Grail- she was likely the one out of us with the least reason to put her life in danger, and yet still chose to stand by our war effort. I had to respect that. "I understand, my _Mas~ter_. Would you like me to accompany you to the bed too, if only so you can _keep an eye on me._ " She finished coyly, with a flirty wink and a suggestive hand upon her hips.

Breakdown. Error Message: mind cannot properly process its ocular and auditory functions. Please await automatic reboot in 5... 4… 3… 2… 1… and…

"Wh-what!?" I spluttered like a vocal beetroot. "I! B-but I- I just… well I wouldn't! Y-you…g- _gah!_ "

And then my mind shut down for a second time.

A clanging sound- it drew my attention away from the impossible woman in front of me. Kiyohime was on the floor and with a dark expression, trying to pick up her knife again after she dropped it. "Damned _harlot_ …" she muttered under her breath.

"Oh, you give the most adorable reactions to my teasing!" Assassin exclaimed triumphantly, and then pulled me to her bosom for a quick gut-wrenching hug, before releasing me with a giggle and a skip as she faded away into her Astral form. "Call me when it's time for bed!"

And thus, Mata Hari got the last word… again.

"That woman is rather impressive." was the only commentary Boudica was willing to give. It was a grudging admittance, accompanied by an appreciative whistle. "She makes me feel inadequate in all the ways that matter, but impressive all the same."

"She's so… _forwards!_ " Medea shouted from an upstairs portion of the factory. "I wish I had her courage!"

"I'm glad you don't! One of her is enough!" I replied, the blush still on my face. I'd claimed to be used to Mata Hari- clearly I'd just been lulled into a false sense of security by the damned dancer! Was this her revenge for before? She really was a bitch. An attractive one, mind you, but still a bitch. "Stupid sexy Assassin…" I mumbled.

"Love Rivals!" Berserker writhed from the floor- her knife still comically slipping from her fingers every time she scrambled for it. "My Anchin is beset upon by all sides by seductive courtesans, seeking to share his bed! Only I, his beloved Kiyohime, should rest by his side!"

Rider laughed, just a teensy bit sheepishly. She scratched at her head, as if the fact had only just now came up. "Well you see, you may have some problems with that last statement. After all, all of his Servants share his bed with his aside from Mata Hari, and now even she seems to have joined the mass sleepovers we seem to be having."

Berserker's face was the most adorable shade of horrified. "To think the problem was this bad already, that so many of my Anchin's loyal retainers have turned against me… that he has allowed so many potential rivals into our bed… how unacceptable! Especially when we have yet to even have had our own honeymoon!"

I paled at her words. "One, you need to be _married_ to have a honeymoon, and we sure aren't that. Two, this is a completely platonic thing. Like… _siblings!_ Or close friends! Yeah, friends with snuggling benefits!"

My words did anything but reassure her. "They get _snuggle rights!?_ "

"Well, yes. In our defence, they are some pretty good snuggles, and James is rather cuddly." Admitted Boudica. "But it's as he said. Mostly platonic. Yup. Absolutely nothing more than that. We're merely there to protect him while he sleeps, are we not?"

The traditional woman gave her fellow Servant a cold smile "Yes, but not _everyone_ has quite so honest intentions, and even then, you are not completely honest yourself, are you?"

Boudica frowned at the Yamato Nadeshiko. "I don't know what you're implying, but I don't like it."

"Ara, you sure are oblivious, aren't you?" A person chipped in who I assumed had left after she had her fun. Assassin manifested once more, with a playful smirk and a little giggle that had me _very_ worried. "Oh, are you certain that its purely platonic? I'm sure that the Queen of Victory would very much like a loyal subject to keep her warm at night… so she could bestow upon him her _royal blessing_."

And then with a cry of triumph, Assassin faded into her Astral form again, no doubt very aware of the chaos she had stirred by interjecting once more with her _very_ well-timed words. Each and every syllable had been selected to create the maximum amount of chaos, and while it was just meaningless teasing, I couldn't deny just how strong her words could hit. Even Lily had trouble masking their amusement at our reactions, despite Lily's very clear 'no flirting!' rule.

I'd been left unable to look anyone in the eyes, and I was sure that I had the mother of all blushes upon my features once more, courtesy of that damn woman.

Boudica was in much the same state- it was very odd to see the teasing Big Sister-like woman reduced to the complex of a tomato, while she stuttered out meaningless babble. "But- I'm not- I have a- well, he _is_ dead, but- w-well, it isn't like- gah!"

And then finally, Kiyohime. My knife had found itself into her hands (despite my best efforts otherwise) and she had driven into the floor up to its hilt. Her pleasant features had cracked, and her right eyebrow kept twitching. "I am so. _Jealous_."

"We don't even have a bed to share in the first place!" I yelled at the empty air, for Mata Hari was gone, leaving only her laughter behind.

"Well, it's not like Projection Magecraft is _that_ difficult to use, and a bed is rather simple…" Medea did say.

"That doesn't help at all!" I shouted, throwing up my arms in defeat. _"You win this round, Mata Hari. You won it with your first set of flirting, but you really rubbed the salt in the wound with this. You truly are the most troublesome of my Servants, are you not? Don't tell me I'm gonna have to give you ANOTHER lesson in not stirring shit up for the lols!?"_


	17. Morning After Interlude

**AN- I think its time to showcase what else is happening in the Grail War- lets have a peek into the other contestants…**

 **Morning After Interlude**

"- and the fires have finally been put out." The anchor-woman blared out through the small, archaic television. Ilya pouted at the screen- wishing it was larger. Then again, she had been lucky there was a television at all in the Einzbern Castle, as her maids had only found it by chance. She guessed that it was a relic from her parents' time in the Fourth War- though she tried to push that thought to one side.

She had her own War to worry about.

"In short, there has not been this much widespread devastation within a single night since the great Fuyuki Fire of ten years ago. In the Ryuudou Temple Fire alone, the body count is presently twenty-seven. Meanwhile, the final figure has yet to be released from the ruined Hyatt Hotel- destroyed before its time, for a second time. The last check was 43 deaths and 92 injuries. The destruction of the Fuyuki Bridge will likely have dire consequences for traffic and in rebuilding, but luckily resulted in no deaths. Either way, Fuyuki City recovered 10 years ago, and it will recover from this. I am Asama Miyu signing off. Up next, the weath-"

CLICK. Ilya turned off the television with a pointed jab at the old power button. With a sigh, she went to the sofa and flopped onto it.

It seemed that she had missed a lot, last night by fighting with the Grey Team, and gained little in return.

The fight had been an undeniable loss. At first it had looked like it was going to be easy. When Berserker swatted aside all their defences, she had felt just the teensiest bit of pity for them. Then she remembered how the Master ruined her lunch with her little brother and tried to steal her _ketchup_. Ilya's concerns evaporated, after that.

"Mou! That damned Dragon caused five deaths alone! Berserker's down to four lives now! That isn't fair, he's meant to be the strongest!"

"Ilya, are you complaining again?" Shirou yelled out from the next room.

"… maybe." In her defence, it really _was_ unfair that James had pulled out that Noble Phantasm based _Dragon_ out of literally nowhere. If that hadn't appeared so unexpectedly, she would have easily been able to kill them all!

"Well, don't worry too much about it now." He said. Ilya heard the sound of footsteps, before the redhead entered the room. He proceeded to shamelessly take advantage of his height to ruffle her hair while she pouted at him for doing so.

"'snot fair." The Einzbern murmured. "Shoulda killed them all."

"Ilya." Shirou began, not even needing to fully chastise her for his status as Little Brother to get the point across.

"Geez! I didn't mean _all of them_ all of them!" Really, if Ilya tended to exaggerate a little about murdering her enemies, then who cares? Shirou should have been grateful that she was even limiting her killing rampage to merely the enemy Servants. "I would have only killed the Servants. Probably." Unless James pissed her off again.

"Good." Shirou nodded his head, albeit with a frown. For some odd reason, she felt that Shirou could see right through her misdirection. "I don't like it, but we need that wish. It's bad that we failed to kill even a single Servant, but at least we're alive. And we know now to remove that Berserker of Grey early on now, don't we? After that it doesn't matter how many lives Hercules has lost, because none of his other Servants could even so much as scratch him."

"Good point. Still doesn't make me any less annoyed. It's going to be a _pain_ having to recover all those lives! It'll take _days_." Ilya, due to her ridiculous Magic Circuits, had the extra power necessary to allow Hercules to recover his lost lives, but it would still require massive effort on her part to bring him back to his peak lifecap.

Again, Shirou did nothing but continue to rub her head. She knew that Shirou was mucking up her hair, and that Sella was just going to have to redo it later, but it was a small price to enjoy a 'normal' sibling interaction. "Would it make you feel better if I cooked you pancakes?"

"… maybe. It is the duty of the younger sibling to cater to their elders needs, and I _do_ own you."

He gave an exaggerated bow, as if he were as butler, and told her "Of course, milady. Pancakes it is."

Ilya smiled a little and decided to let the problems of the War be left alone for a little while more. For now, she would enjoy what little time she had left with Shirou. "That would be lovely."

XXXXXXXXXX

An air of failure had settled over the Tohsaka household. The previous night had been tough on them all, and it was very difficult to find any silver lining to what had happened.

The Red Team had assaulted Ryudou Temple. Caster, Lancer and Assassin- who had chosen to base themselves there, had tried to fight them off. But even with a two-pronged assault from Rin after having sent her Archer from her mansion to join the fray, the Reds had still _won_.

The Blue Team's stranglehold on the best defensive location in Fuyuki had been taken from them, forcing them all to relocate to the only stronghold they had left. The Tohsaka Mansion.

Rin was _not_ happy with this fact.

"There was a reason I didn't want to join up with you at the Temple, you know?" She ground out, grimacing at the others sat around her table. Kirei was to her left, while Zouken and Caster sat to the right (With her Master largely sitting things out when it came to operation).

"Yes, yes, we know." Caster said tiredly. Rin could almost swear that she had rolled her eyes beneath that dark hood of hers. "You said 'Archers work best alone,' and 'there's no use putting all our eggs in one basket', but when half of the egg carton is empty, _is there really a point?_ " It all came down to the two missing Masters, really. Without Einzbern or Emiya, the Blue Team lacked their strongest members.

And so it was down to a highschool Magus and her amnesiac Servant, a sadistic witch and her non-magical lover, a rotten _lying_ priest and his spearman, and an old man with his killer to fight off the combined strength of seven Clock Tower Magi and their Servants.

If Rin every got the chance to fight that Einzbern girl without Servants of Magecraft getting in the way, she was going to wring the scrawny brat's neck.

"Do be nice, Caster." Kirei said with that smile she hated so much. "Rin has always been difficult. Please, have some patience, and some gratitude for her allowing us to lodge with her."

"It's not like I had much choice." Rin reminded them. "We tried to bother Ilya to join us once before, and her Berserker almost snapped Archer in two before we got the picture and left them alone, so the only place left was here."

The logical reasoning that this was the only safe place for everyone to gather wasn't the point- it didn't change how little she wanted them within her home. She had truly hoped to spend the entirety of the War in her home, because she hadn't much wanted to leave Sakura alone, especially since she was in bed and ill at the moment. Having all her fellow Masters and Servants around was the last thing she wanted to potentially have near her.

Zouken tried to smile in a grandfatherly way- he was really lacking. His attitude was so blatantly sweet that it had already gotten to the point of cavity inducing. "And we thank you, young lady, for allowing our weary bones to rest here."

"Don't even pull that attitude with me!" Rin warned. "You're an old Magus, and my father spoke highly of you. I know enough to recognise that your attempts are insulting at best. I'd much prefer to have you be straight with me, so maybe we can find our way out of the hole we're in."

"I suppose so." And then Zouken's demeanour changed. It was subtle, but his smile was slacker and showed less tooth, while the gleam in his eyes was all the more malicious. "We are in quite a lot of trouble, are we not? On the run, our base lost, and all our enemies outpowering us. From the Greys that hold a larger roster, to the Einzbern brat who has our strongest close combatants, to the Reds that have now stolen said base and proven themselves to be dangerous enemies."

A general round of nods from across the table- Zouken had summed it up rather nicely.

"Well at the very least, we've scouted the opposition." Caster of Blue noted. "Not to mention reduced their numbers by one. We've made some gains there."

In that regard, Caster had been invaluable. She had taken the enemies strength and made it her own. It balanced out the scales, just the tiniest of bits.

"Perhaps we should start playing to our strengths a little more." Zouken suggested. "Our enemies Servants are problematic, but the Masters slightly less so. The Reds can't stay in there forever, and eventually we will have our chance to strike. Likewise, the Einzbern and her pet Emiya can be _brought into line_."

At that last statement, Kirei laughed a little bit. "I must admit, I find it quite ironic that once again an Emiya fights for the Grail on behalf of an Einzbern homunculus. History has these strange little quirks, time and time again."

"I don't care for your amusement." Growled Rin. "The only reason I even listen to your forked tongue is because of your Lancer."

"He is a useful little tool, isn't he?"

"Perhaps we should get back to the present topic?" Suggested Caster with a sickly-sweet voice. "As much as I love to spend time with you all, I feel that we should decide upon a strategy."

"We should try to persuade the Einzbern faction to rejoin us." Rin suggested. To her, this seemed the best method. Based on the destruction of Fuyuki Bridge, a battle had likely happened between the Grey Team and Emiya's faction. They were collectively the Blue Team- so it made sense to work together as they had been tasked with doing.

Ilya's decision to go off alone was a dumb move, while Shirou's was likely well meaning in his own idiotic little way.

"And if they refuse?" Zouken pointedly asked. "What then? Would you finally be able to get your hands dirty as your father would have?"

Rin frowned. She refused to stoop to Zouken's level. The majority of his ideas involved elements she was uncomfortable with at best. "How exactly would we assassinate any Red Team members anyway? While they are in the Temple, they're largely immune to anything but a frontal assault- something we _can't win_."

"Who said anything about the Red Team." Caster pointed out. "An assault on the Greys, a quick thrust or two of my Noble Phantasm, and then we don't even need that Einzbern girl."

"Except that we're barely coping with the cost of one Servant each as it is." Rin reminder her. Servants were expensive Familiars to maintain, and Caster had only been getting away with it for so long due to having had the Temple to use and store up power within. Admittedly, she could harvest virtually nothing from the Ley Line due to the nature of the war, but Caster had still turned her Territory into a giant stronghold to harvest Mana from the air and Prana from the inhabitants of Fuyuki City in all directions.

And now that territory was lost. Without it, they could still _technically_ support multiple Servants each, but would never be able to use them all at full strength.

Zouken smiled, just a little. It seemed he had an idea. "Well, if the greatest threat to us is the Red Team, then we should deal with them first. And if the only way is an all-out attack, then I am all for repaying them for the insult of evicting me from my _second_ residency this War and reclaiming our initial advantage."

"But the numbers-" Caster injected with urgency. To her, numbers were everything. Standing alone, there was oh so little she could do amongst Heroic Spirits so much stronger than her.

"We'll make them up." Rin cut her off, seeing where Zouken was leading too. "Alliances are almost as common in Grail Wars as Master Assassinations are, aren't they?"

"Indeed. We use those Greys for everything they are worth. Let us bleed both our enemies dry." Zouken decided. It seemed the kind of plan he'd like- letting his enemies fight it out while he watched with amusement.

"But what about your 'grudge'?" Kirei reminded him. He'd been silent for a while, perfectly happy for everyone to argue it out while he overlooked the entire situation with a cheery expression. "Did you not enter this War directly by stealing Caster's illegal Servant purely out of a desire for revenge?"

And hadn't Caster been absolutely _furious_ about working with the man that stole one of her most successful gambits and using it as nothing but a catalyst to summon his own Servant?

"Oh yes. But I am a _patient man_." Zouken looked so much older than his wrinkled face suggested. Patient indeed- Rin's father had once told her that Zouken had still been old when he himself was young, suggesting that he like many Magi looked much older than their appearance showed.

Zouken had proven himself a knowledgeable man concerning all facets of the Holy Grail War- Rin trusted the old man to have patience, after all this time. "I will be happy to see that bastard and his _witch_ be eaten by the maggots and the worms, like they deserve. But… I can wait. Their time is not quite here yet."

Yes- this was a typical exchange from a Magus. Temporary allies over a mutual goal, with a happy willingness to murder them as soon as all their worth is spent.

"So, we plan to ally with the Greys?" Kirei asked, seeking confirmation.

"Yes, it seems like that is our present plan." Admitted Rin. She looked to Caster, and she in turn gave her own nod of approval. It wasn't a good plan, but it would do for now.

"Excellent." Kirei seemed pleased by the decision. "It will be interesting to see James again. For someone who has caused so much chaos through his very presence, I know so very little of him, after all…"

XXXXXXXXXX

The room was dark and warm, and Sakura wanted nothing more than to shut her eyes and sleep through the whole experience. She felt guilty- she knew that she needed to be up already in order to help cook breakfast with Shirou. On the other hand, she also knew that these weren't normal circumstances. She couldn't exactly just show up at his house since she refused to burden him by staying there permanently, nor did she wish to draw attention to the boy she had come to silently adore. No- it was safer for him if she kept her distance.

Her 'grandfather' was in the same house as her now, and she refused to let him turn his cold eyes to the redhead.

In addition, he was a Master in this damned Grail War as well, if Rin was to be believed.

It was quite unfair, really, that someone as kind-hearted as Shirou was being put through a conflict as bloody as the Holy Grail War. She wished with all her heart that Shirou had never been picked and that she could have continued to enjoy her little slice of heaven in the form of time spent at the Emiya household. Then again, she also wished that _he_ hadn't killed Rider, so that she could always make sure he was protected.

"Sakura!" Rin called out, knocking on the door. "I'm coming in!"

"Good morning… Rin." Sakura smiled a little at her visitor. Rin had asked not to be referred to by 'sister' by Sakura, and she could comply with such a simple request.

"Are you feeling any better?" Rin asked, trying not to sound concerned and utterly failing at doing so.

"Yes, much better." She lied.

"You don't look it."

Sakura shook her head. "It will go away with time." Now that _wasn't_ a lie. She knew what had caused her sudden bout of illness. She had felt her Rider die- her energy was now within her. The worms writhing within her didn't help matters either- they had been particularly needy recently.

"Here." Rin said, quickly planting a bowl of warm soup on her bedside table, along with a spoon. "Some soup. As my house guest, it's my responsibility to ensure that you are kept in good health. Just concentrate on getting better."

The violet haired girl allowed herself to giggle a little. Rin was absolutely adorable when she was trying to pretend to not care, and constantly making up excuses to justify it herself. A part of her felt bitter that it was only now that Rin bothered trying to care, and _not_ when she had truly needed her big sister…

But Sakura squashed down that urge. Rin had only been a child when she was taken, and she couldn't possibly know what she had gone through. Instead, she would enjoy the little bit of attention she was getting now, much how she savoured the normality of the Emiya household.

"A-anyway, I'll leave you to get some rest." And with that, Rin practically power-walked out of the room. Again, same old Rin, desperately trying not to care, but clearly unable to fully embrace the hardness of heart needed to be an excellent Magus.

Sakura shut her eyes, then smiled a little bit. It had been a nice visit, but it didn't change the fact that she _was_ ill and needed to build up her strength. It wasn't a conventional ailment, but she had grown used to treating her ruined bodies condition like a very odd terminal illness.

It was just when she was getting comfortable when a new voice broke the silence of the room, sending shivers of dread down her spine. "Sakura, I'm almost disappointed to see that you didn't ask for my presence upon my 'moving into' this lovely abode. Why, I'm almost offended…"

All her tiredness burned away, and Sakura opened her eyes wide to take in the form of her 'grandfather'. Idly, she noted that she hadn't heard the door open, and that he likely hadn't needed to use it to gain access to her room. "I'm sorry grandfather. I assumed you would go to me I you needed me."

"Oh no, I have no need for you. Is it that out of character for me to visit my ill granddaughter?" Sakura didn't even react to exactly how out of character such a thing would be for the decaying worm user- all defiance had long since been squeezed out of her.

"No, grandfather."

"Indeed." And with that, Zouken gave her a good once over. His gaze was dark and knowing, as if he could see right through her and uncover each and every tiny bit of resistance she had against him. "You seem to be doing _nicely_. I'm content to leave you be, for now."

Zouken turned away and slowly walked to the door, his cane tapping away with ever foot or so. He turned his head to look at Sakura from the corner of his eye. "Sakura. You are not to leave this room unless _absolutely necessary_ for the duration of the time I am lodging here with my 'allies'. Do you understand?"

She blinked, then nodded. No more words were necessary. She could have asked why he would require such a thing, but it was best not to. Better to just go along with his words. She'd likely be incapacitated for another day or two anyway, and it wouldn't be too hard to fake symptoms for a few days after that, no matter how guilty it made her feel.

And then Matou Zouken left his most prized experiment behind, a look of satisfaction upon his ancient face.

XXXXXXXXXX

It had been difficult for them to deal with their aftermath upon the assault on Ryuudou Temple. They had inflicted a lot more damage than they had anticipated they would need, especially after they had managed to confirm that half of the Blue Teams Servants weren't even there to resist their planned attack. Those left behind had fought bitterly and had even resorted to a 'scorching earth' tactic when they realised the fight was lost. Caster of Blue's Workshop was absolutely unsalvageable, while mundane authorities, paramedics and reporters plagued the remains of the Temple to no end.

There was only so much hypnotism one could get away with, and so for the sake of keeping the illusion of normality there had been no choice but to give almost absolute freedom to the visitors.

Cornelius Alba himself swore that it would have been foolish for an Assassin Class Servant to _not_ take advantage of their forced openness to try and scout out what they could. Not that there was too much to see yet. His Caster was still setting up his own Territory, and it was taking time to do so.

Forte didn't mind too much, really. The complications they had to put up with to claim the land the Temple was based on was more than worth the gains provided by taking it. It had been a gamble to try and turn the Holy Grail War into a King of the Hill kind of situation, but the rewards were too good not to try and take it out from under the Blues. Strong natural defences, access to the crippled Leylines (Which gave little Prana but allowed wide spread spells and rituals to be cast easier), not to mention access to the physical body of the Greater Grail beneath the Temple. The cherry on the cake- the Temple itself was where the Grail itself was scheduled to manifest too.

If there was one thing that Forte had learned from her time hunting Sealing Designates, it was that it was much harder to take someone down that had the home field advantage.

It was that last point which was so vital, that Alba's whole plan had rested upon. Remove their enemies' sanctuary and burn their resources to the ground alongside it. A two-pronged assault upon both Teams, with Alba himself employing hit-and-run tactics upon the Greys (With the understanding that a single Command Seal would be all that was needed to escape from the Greys). The tactic worked, and put both factions off guard, while Alba's individual actions meant that the majority of the Red Team could be committed to the Ryuudou battle.

"What are you thinking about?" Her Servant asked her in a neutral tone, from his place besides her. The two of them were sitting by the lakeside, as there had been little to do and she preferred to leave the interaction with the masses to Alba and Bram who had better experience in cover ups. It was about time the latter started doing something useful.

After all, he was close to useless to their cause now that his Servant had been stolen. Without even a single Command Seal left upon him, it could be argued whether he even qualified as a Master anymore, and they were only keeping him around just in case the death of Caster of Blue returned his Command Seals and Servant to him.

"Not much." Forte said, idly. "Thinking about what I'll use the Grail for, really."

Assassin gave a little shrug- it was hard to see due to the heaviness of his long coat. "I thought the collective goal of this 'Red Team' was to go to Akasha together? Share the prize, as it were."

"Oh, it is on paper. And I'm sure we'd all be happy to go to the Root together. One would be a pretty poor Magus to _not_ take the opportunity when offered…"

"But." Assassin interjected, saying the key word.

"Exactly. _But_ … I'm not just a Magus, am I?" For such was Forte's nature. She walked the thin line between Enforcer and Magus, respected by both, and understanding of both sides. She could understand the thoughts of the Magus seeking the answers of everything due to her own upbringing, but she wasn't cold enough to detach her own wants or desires- for an Enforcer rarely failed to have a ulterior motives.

"And that wish?"

"Not sure yet." She admitted, more forthcoming than she normally would be. He was her Servant, so to her it made sense to foster as strong a relationship as possible. "I could just go with the standard Root wish, but there are other things I desire too. I may just need to break away and use the Grail myself when the opportunity arises. And yourself? What do you wish for, Charles-Henri Sanson, Executioner of Paris?"

The Assassin didn't look too troubled by the question. Then again, he hadn't seemed to be fazed by anything so far. "I always have been an executioner, and I don't much regret it. A wish… I suppose I regret having had to see my job through to the end when I had to watch my beloved king and queen's heads roll. Or perhaps I would make people respect my occupation a bit more. Either way, my wish is rather petty, all things considered."

"We are all petty people." Forte replied, simply. She paused for a moment, as she pondered where to take the conversation. "Assassin, answer me honestly. How highly do you rate this Teams 'odds' of success?"

"Fairly high, I'd say." The white-haired man said slowly. "We have a strong defensive position, our Servants are rather potent, and I'd say that our Masters are high calibre too. We won't march easily to the chopping block."

"I'm glad."

Assassin shook his head. "I don't see why you wanted my opinion though. I am merely the tool to kill those already condemned. I am no soldier. You, in this case, have more experience than me."

Forte laughed a little at that. "I too am little but a tool, sometimes. But in that case, as my tool, I tell you that our enemies are sentenced to die. I task you with fulfilling the sentence."

A small smile slipped its way onto the Heroic Spirits face. "I suppose I'll have to fulfil my duty then, won't I?"

The Red Team wasn't done. Not by a long shot. This was but the beginning of their campaign, and Forte was certain that victory would be theirs.

XXXXXXXXXX

Ruler knelt before the alter, eyes closed, and hands pressed together. She was deep in prayer, offering her hopes and thoughts and fears up to the lord. More often than not He would do nothing but listen to His flock's thoughts and do nothing but offer an unbiased ear and His silence, but that was fine. There were some things even He couldn't help with, while the gift of free will meant it was the responsibility of man to try and solve their own problems.

"Your ceaseless prayers irritate me, _girl_." The scathing voice shattered the silence of the closed church. With a benevolent smile, Jeanne rose from her vigil and turned to the Heroic Spirt she was sharing this church with.

"Hello, Gilgamesh." She greeted pleasantly. "I apologise for disturbing you. I shall endeavour to give the Lord my thanks elsewhere, so as not to bother you. The quality of the prayer is what interests Him, not _where_ it is."

"See? It's _that_ -" Gilgamesh told her, pointing at her clasped hands in irritation. "which annoys me. Your unending positivity and naivety. You look and sound like her, and yet you are far inferior. You lack her stubborn defiance, the edge to her. Her ideals were that of a child, and it would be beautiful to see her fall into despair… but _you_? You are boring and yet dare to speak above your station."

"Well, I am nothing but a simple peasant girl." Jeanne could only agree for the most part, though her thoughts differed on some subjects. "And I do not speak above my station, for the Lord is the highest station of all, and I merely speak his words."

Again, Gilgamesh shook his head in disgust. "Truly, this Ruler Class is an atrocity. If I could kill you, I would. No. When I _can_ kill you, I will subject you to atrocities that will make a poor foolish virgin like yourself _break_. Because _nobody_ may order the King of Heroes without consequence."

The Archer's words didn't prompt even a smidge of fear in the Ruler Class Servant. She had willingly walked to her death and accepted her most painful end for the sake of her people. So too would she accept Gilgamesh's rage. After all, while he was a sinner of the highest order, he was also a Tainted being. She would save him if she could, and if not, she would accept his curses instead. She hoped he would not make the Wish she feared he would if he won… for if he did, she would have little choice but to fight him in order to stop him.

"Not even going to give me an answer? Truly, you are a terrible insult to me with every breath."

"If I bother you this much, you are always free to leave." Jeanne told him levelly. It would certainly solve both their problems. As the one who had accepted to take over the role of moderator, it was her responsibility to reside within the Church and protect those fallen Masters that sought sanctuary. Gilgamesh didn't need to stay though. He had the option to leave.

The demigod shook his head in disgust. "No. That would mean letting you win. I shall not be evicted from my abode. Hmph. I'll reclaim it at the end of this War, once I have torn your limbs off one by one."

She frowned, just a little bit. "At the end of the War, I shall give you that chance."

"Hmmph. Why am I even wasting my time here? I believe that I shall go out for a walk. Mayhaps even a very enthusiastic one. This War has certainly proved more interesting than I had expected. There is far too much trash still, but I hope to find treasure amidst it, perhaps. At the very least, seeing the mongrels bleed each other dry will be amusing to watch. Last night was rather fun." At that, Gilgamesh turned away and left Ruler alone- walking out of the church and into the morning air of Fuyuki like he owned it.

Jeanne hated to have such selfish thoughts, but she was rather glad he was gone. Naturally she would need to pray in order to absolve herself of such imperfections. Without another word, she set herself to kneeling once more, and resumed praying for both herself and the lives of each and every innocent person that died during the previous night due to the Holy Grail War.

She was certain that many more would die before this War was resolved.


	18. Chapter 15

**AN- Welp. Nothing much to say here. Insert witty commentary here?**

 **Chapter 15**

 _Life was good for the daughter. Carefree. Simple. Raised by a caring father in his inn and brought up to someday in turn replace him in greeting patrons of their establishment._

 _She had no great destiny, and truly didn't require one. She had her fill of life in hearing the tales of those to pass through the doors of their inn, though friendships were few and short lived, as most only stopped there as just a single destination on a long road by the river._

 _However, everybody years for_ something _more. And to the daughter, it was to become a wife. A dream, that someday she'd find true companionship in somebody to run the inn by her side when her father inevitably slipped away._

 _And then she found him, her_ Anchin _. Kind and warm, joyous yet modest. He was perfect. He only needed to smile and ask for a room for the night, and already he had claimed her heart. Never before had such a fire burned within her, never before had she felt that thumping of her heart that could only be love._

 _She visited him, late that night, and proclaimed her love. The daughter had always been a treasure, and had been desired by many a man, all of whom she had rejected. But for_ Anchin _, she was ready to give him her everything._

 _And then he_ rejected _her. He_ denied _her feelings. With a smile on his face, he told her_ no _, and so she felt like her love was smothered before it had ever truly begun._

 _Yet despite his_ rejection _, her_ Anchin _was a kind man, and had promised to visit him on his way back. He_ promised. _Hope returned to her- she still had a chance. They would meet once more, and then she would offer her love to him once more, and he in turn would have to accept her honest feelings._

 _She lovedlovedlovedlovedlovedlovedlovedlovedlovedloved_ lovedlovedlovedloved **loved** _him._

 _And so her_ Anchin _left on the morrow, but she did not despair. Every day she visited the riverside and asked the boatsman whether he had ferried a certain handsome monk across, and every day he said no._

 _Then one day, she saw_ him _._ Anchin _had reappeared! Her dreams had come true, and soon they would be wed, and then-_

 _\- he asked the boatsman to ferry him back across, having seen her coming._

Anchin _had promised… and yet without even a thought for her, he_ broke it _. He had no intention to see her again at all, did he?_

 _The fire inside her became an inferno, and_ love _quickly turned to_ _ **HATE**_

 _It was an impossible delusion she had of the two of them living together as wife and husband, managing a simple inn and living an honest love. They would have had little, but they would still be able to share in the joy of loving the other. And that dream was SHATTERED._

 _Flesh became scales, and bone became an inferno. Her rage was unmatched, her_ _ **HATRED**_ _unrivalled. The scorned woman shed her very self and became Dragon._

 _Then, the horrible_ **LIAR** _ **was**_ _ **burned alive.**_

XXXXXXXXXX

My awakening was almost painful. I could still feel the fire, hear the screams and see the red tint of rage suffocating everything around me. Once more, it seems that the Dream Cycle had affected me- and it hit me hard. Yet again, I felt that familiar tinge of sadness and nostalgia, but this time the prevalent emotion was definitely the loss and the love and the _**HATE**_.

I shook my head slowly, trying to forget the sound of a man burning alive. Anchin truly was the centre of Kiyohime's world, it seemed. Either way, her emotions were as honest as could be. Both the love and hate. That was her problem- it was either all or the other. She couldn't just 'like' someone a little. Extremes were all this Berserker knew.

" _Speaking of the stalker, she sure looks comfortable."_ She looked as happy as could be, wrapped around my torso like a clamp, face pressed against my neck. She was quite heavy actually; it seemed that her sleeping position had been solely decided upon to allow her the maximum body contact with me as possible.

She was hardly the only Danger though. Boudica was another clinger and had once more snuggled up to me until she was basically draped over my arm. And then, my third bed mate- Mata Hari.

Upon seeing her, I was sure I had a mini aneurism. Sometime during the night, she had discarded her tight nightdress and was now in just her undergarments. Suffice to say… I was having difficulty looking away. I truly did have a weakness to her. After having had her shove my other arm deep into her valley leading to the heavens, I was certain that I'd never wash said arm ever again.

An all-round Dangerous morning. At least they took the distress from last night away from me- it really had been a bad night.

"Morning." Whispered Lily, ever so quietly. They had chosen not to rest with us and had stayed vigilantly guarding us the whole time. I nodded at them- silently thanking them for their tireless work in preventing an Assassin's blade.

We really couldn't afford not to have someone permanently guarding the warehouse- not now.

I managed to turn my head elsewhere. Medea had settled down onto an old table and was already hard at work in constructing items using her Magecraft. I truly had to admire her work ethics. Despite being tired from the fighting and healing, she had still chosen to pull an all-nighter to turn this warehouse into her new Hospital, and to start working on all the items that had been lost in our last place. Already several potions sat patiently to one side.

Still- I could do nothing to aid her, not at this point. As a Heroic Spirit, she was far beyond me. I could only hope that she would be able to have a good nap later on. Until the time my still resting Servants awoke though, I was going to have little choice but to have to lie here.

" _Truly, an arduous and thankless job."_ I smiled wryly, if only to myself. Indeed, I couldn't claim to not be enjoying this. It was a not so guilty pleasure, but basically all my Servants were eye candy, and I'd never had the pleasure of waking up to someone lying beside me up until this whole 'Self Insertion' bullshit happened.

So I shut my eyes, and vowed to get another hour or two of rest before I would shake my Servants awake (If they weren't already up) and start preparing once more for the Holy Grail War.

XXXXXXXXXX

The Summoning Circle was different this time. We'd lost my tomes in the fire, and neither myself or Medea could fully remember the book's circle exactly. Consequently, we decided to make our own, understanding that intention and quality of the circle mattered more than recreating the exact ritual that the Founders expected to be used. This was a hybrid between the modern style of circles and Medea's own era that she had cobbled together for me, with several twists in the shape and structure of it. Then, it was painted onto the ground using a miraculously potent potion Medea had anticipated we would need.

We hoped that these changes would be enough to give the ritual a little oomph, and perhaps finally nab us a proper trump card.

The incantation would be the same, though. I remembered the words- I wasn't likely to forget them.

"Here is my oath. I am the one who becomes all the good of the world of the dead, I am the one who lays out all the evil of the world of the dead!" the light of the circle glowed the red shade I was acutely aware of, and matched the glowing sigil now shining from my shoulder so brightly it could be seen even through my shirt. I flooded it with everything my magical turbine farm could give it. In my mind, I tried to picture exactly what I wanted. There were two Servants left I could call upon: Archer and Lancer. Two of the Knight Classes. I had to hope I summoned a powerhouse. No. I _needed_ a powerhouse. Because my Servants (and me!) had almost died too often, and I refused to let that happen!

The odds were in my favour. Five times had I rolled the dice, and each time had I summoned a Servant traditionally seen as 'lower tier' than others. A fairly standard Saber, a Rider without the ridiculous mount or half a dozen Noble Phantasms, a Caster that while a competent healer lacked the ridiculous abilities that set some Casters apart from the rest, an Assassin that couldn't kill and a Berserker useless you needed Overkill and could successfully control a rampaging Dragon.

And thus, on my sixth attempt, I would roll the roulette once more. Because damn it, _I wanted to win this_.

"You, seven heavens clad in three words of power, arrive from the ring of deterrence, O keeper of the balance ―――!" Upon my final roar, the circle discharged its power, and called forth my newest Servant.

Smoke billowed forth, then blown away by the gale of my Prana. I squinted through it, to see the figure standing there. A beautiful woman long purple hair and piercing red eyes, clad in skin-tight clothing that showed off her excellent curves. She clutched a spear in her right hand- and looked straight through the dispersing vapour.

"I am Servant Lancer," she began formally. "I ask of you, are you my Master?"

In turn, I gave her the widest grin possible. "Excuse me. Just for one, single moment." And then, almost reverently, I collapsed to my knees, looked to the heavens and shouted the following words: " _Finally!_ It only took SIX attempts, but we finally got it! The Cycle of Mediocrity has been broken! The Gods of the Gacha have smiled down upon us! Admittedly she doesn't have a dick, so fuck you! But hey, little steps!"

Lancer blinked at me in surprise, as if she didn't fully know how to react to my actions. "Excuse me? This is the Holy Grail War I have been summoned for, correct?"

I coughed a little sheepishly at that. I'd made an embarrassment of myself, but I hadn't cared too much. I'd been far too relieved at having finally, at long last, summoned something _broken_. All my patience had paid off, and now I finally had some power in my corner. Not only that, I'd finally summoned a Servant I actually _recognised_.

Scathach, the teacher of Cu Chulainn, the immortal God Killer of the Land of Shadows. And more than that, one of the seven primary advertisers of Fate Grand Order. Out of all the Servants from that game, she was one of the few that I actually knew about.

And once again, she was both top tier Waifu material, and ridiculously bullshit.

"Thank you." I said once more, barely above the whisper. It didn't make up for slapping a trap, a yandere and _Mata Hari_ upon me, but this almost made me feel like all my suffering had amounted to something. After all this bullshit, after all these ridiculous (And not in a good way) summons, I had finally got what I wanted: some mother fucking OP.

And then I recalled the reason I was celebrating, the question asked and left unanswered, and the unamused immortal looking down at me.

I was back on my feet faster than I ever had in my life. Quickly, I brushed myself down, flattened my hair, and generally tried to do anything to maybe regain just the smallest of tatters of my reputation. It didn't work. "… okay. I know I look like a complete idiot right now. But in my defence, it's been a long week, it all makes sense in context, and I _swear_ that the Throne of Heroes has been laughing at me. The reason for my… _excitement_ … was due to just how enthusiastically happy I was about your Summoning."

Scathach sighed tiresomely at that, but much of her ire seemed to have drained away from her. "Honestly, that student of mine has acted more ridiculous than that… as sad as it is to admit. I can forgive you for that display if you assure me it was a onetime event, and you will lend this meeting the full attention it warrants."

"Sorry, but I can't promise nothing." I told her with a straight face. "This War has already been pretty ridiculous, and its liable only to get worse. So, I shall try my hardest and apologise in advance for dragging you into this mess."

"That will have to do." She decided. "Now, will you explain the situation to me? I have been told about the purpose of this summon- to fight in the Holy Grail War- but I am still confused on many aspects. Particularly why _I_ am here."

"And why's that?" I asked her. "A Heroic Spirit is a Heroic Spirit. If you have a wish, you're liable."

"But I'm _not dead_." Scathach said, making me blink in disbelief. "More accurately, I haven't died _yet_ , and have still somehow been summoned."

"Then why can I feel a connection with you?" I asked her.

She took on a pose a lecturer might take to instruct a confused student and told me her guess. "Hmmm… it's a mystery. Since you don't know, I can only make a hypothesis. I assume that it's to do with that 'not-dead' portion of it. I have not died, ergo I cannot be summoned. Yet you summoned me and I have a corresponding wish, therefore I must be here. This whole situation is _paradoxical_. In other words, I think that this 'Grail'- or whatever has brought me here- has used the Throne of Heroes as a stepping block. You have directly summoned me from the Land of Shadows and pay the appropriate Prana for the privilege. You pay Gaia's toll so that she turns the blind eye to me- ignoring that 'this entity cannot be here'."

I nodded my head thoughtfully. That answer made sense. "To be honest, I'm not sure if it matters exactly _how_ you are here, so long as you _are_ here. In the words of a wise alcoholic, 'don't think about it'. This War is bad enough that at this point in time it would take a _lot_ to truly surprise me, and I'd be liable to just blanket sweep everything with 'blame Zelretch. He probably did it'."

"Can you explain that?" Lancer requested, leaning in a little with a stern look. "You have referred to this War as 'ridiculous' several times and have made mention before to this having taken 'six Servants'."

I clapped my hands together, then walked over to the nearby table Medea had been using to work on and sat down at the chair. "Welp, pull up a chair and I'll do us a Lightning Round to sum up all the important stuff."

She rolled her eyes but chose to comply with my request and sat herself upon the adjacent plastic chair with the full dignity of a Queen. "You may begin."

"Okay then… lets… begin. One, how many Servants in this Grail War?"

"Seven." Lancer replied. "But aren't _you_ meant to be-"

I shook my head and made a big X shape with my arms. "Nope. Ordinarily, maybe. But this War has 21 normal Servants arranged in three teams, while there are two extra Servants fucking about with things too. Guess who?"

Lancer looked frustrated. "How could I possibly know-"

"Answer- one of them is literally _Gilgamesh the King of Heroes_ … and is likely to commit genocide upon the human race if he wins."

"This is getting rather-"

"Next problem. _I'm the sole Master for one of those three teams_ , you are literally my sixth Servant at this point, and I am also a multiversal traveller pulled into this mess by a third party that likely set all this bullshit up in the first place, since he somehow implanted a _Magic Core_ inside of me and also somehow removed _All of the Worlds Evils_ from within the Holy Grail itself, which by itself could also have very easily set off the apocalypse…"

Lancer glared at me, with crossed arms and a demeanour that read as 'not amused'. "Are you done?"

"… there was also a whole part about how the events of the original Fifth Holy Grail War were a fictional story back in my home world, but that existential crisis causing mess is basically the end of it."

"Firstly, those are quite the absurd claims, but I can perceive that you are not lying, so will withhold my judgement about that for now. Secondly, are you _trying_ to get me to stab you? I am a woman who does _not_ like getting interrupted."

"Sorry."

" _What did I just say?_ " she snapped.

"S-sorry Miss Scathach! No interruptions!"

"Exactly." She nodded her head sternly. "I can accept that maybe you have been rather stressed recently, and that if you are correct about the irregularities of this War then maybe you are justified in your actions… _but that does not excuse rudeness, young man!_ "

And with that, she began tugging on my left ear rather painfully. "H-hey! That hurts!"

"So did your 'Lightning Round'." She replied harshly.

"In my defence, I thought it would be an amusing way of quickly delivering exposition, and I'm normally way politer about things!"

"Defence denied." She told me, continuing to tug at my earlobe. "Manners maketh man, and you were in the wrong to subject me to such atrocious treatment merely for being a valid target to vent at. You should know better."

… I didn't deny that. Perhaps in this case, I'd let my Silly go a bit out of control. So denying her words was largely unnecessary as she had a good point- I really should have known better than to mouth off to a Heroic Spirit like _Scathach_ anyway.

"Still… I am not your teacher. Forget it." The Lancer concluded as she released me, turning away to pout.

I rubbed my ear in relief and looked at my newest Servant in a bit more detail. I really wish I knew more about her, and that my understanding of her wasn't limited to the pre-Grand Order stuff we'd been told about her, and the knowledge from second hand sources.

Still- my lack of knowledge of her personality and deeper depths is no real excuse, not really. And I didn't want to let our relationship as Master/Servant stay like this. "You aren't my teacher, but you _are_ my Servant. At the very least, you deserve more respect from me than that. Hell, I've been trying very hard to treat all my Servants well and with the respect their calibre of legend deserves, and yet I failed within minutes with you." At this point, I got to my feet and bowed lightly. I wasn't Japanese, but the custom seemed appropriate here, for someone admitting to their culpability and disrespect in the workplace. "So, you have my sincere apologies, in this case. I am sorry."

Lancer's face was largely inscrutable, but I think that there was something close to satisfaction there. "It seems you have your foolish moments, but it seems that your heart is in the right place, and that you are mature enough to own up to your own mistakes and apologise." She sighed again at this, deep in thought. "All men are the same sometimes, it seems."

"I don't know about that. Cu Chulainn is kind of a one-off man."

She shook her head in disagreement. "He may be my favourite student, but he is just as foolish as the rest of you can be. Still, I accept your apology. Work hard, and all is forgiven."

I smiled a little, and ended my bow. I was glad she'd accepted it- I wasn't used to bowing, and my back was killing me. "I sure can do. I want to win this War if I can, and fully intend to give this my all, so please help me claim victory."

Lancer seemed to agree- she had a resolute look upon her features. "I shall do what I can, since I seek victory through this conflict as well. Now that I am here, I shall take this Grail as the opportunity that it is. I have a wish I require seeking. You see, I want to be able to die. Whether I meet a Servant amidst the large number of competitors this War who can end my existence, or through the wish at the end. One way or another, I will finally regain that ability to finally _rest_. Either way, you shall have my spear until such a point is reached."

Unfortunately, I couldn't hide my disapproval. I understood enough of her legend to know of her immortality, and perhaps enough to even see why she might have sought out her own death. Immortality was a curse not everybody could handle, and it was even worse when the option to end the eternity could not be taken. So, I couldn't blame her too much.

Even so… it seemed sad to see somebody that wanted to die. My family had a long history of mental instability, and I had met quite a few suicidal people through my mum, without even getting into the recovering alcoholic step-mum either, or my brother's battle with depression.

Life was precious, in my eyes. Sometimes at my most nihilistic and edgy I'd suppose that life had no inherent purpose and that our existence was merely a cosmic fluke which was liable to be snuffed out at any given minute, or that perhaps in the grand cosmic scale of the universe our individual lives were completely meaningless. Despite this though, in my more optimistic moods I would acknowledge this, but also have just a little bit of hope. Because even if it was an accident, humans still beat the odds to gain life in the first place- we were just the teensiest bit special. Even if there was no inherent meaning, as a species we still chose to try and attribute understanding to the cold and indifferent universe around us. We had achieved so much, and still had the potential to do so much more, if only we survived our own stupidity!

… in short, I was curiously paradoxical in my views and nature, with my thoughts and opinions differing depending upon my mood. But that's just what I sincerely thought. Humans had the amazing ability to find meaning in the meaningless, and gleam happiness even when staring the Abyss in the face. And seeing someone that had given up on life and the potential for happiness to happen in the future… was kind of sad.

The only thing I disliked more than an intense hypocrite, was seeing someone completely give up on life.

"If we survive long enough to reach the Grail, then fair enough." I told her awkwardly. "I can't say I approve too much." I'd argue that we very much fell on opposite sides of that argument, really. "But if that's what you want, then so be it. Me and the others haven't really talked much about what happens when we reach the Grail, since we've been so preoccupied on just surviving to reach that. I can't guarantee if the others will just let you have that wish without a fight. But at the very least, I hope you get what you want by the time this over."

Lancer gave me her own little smile. "That is the best I can hope for. Very well then. This may just be a temporary contract, but for the minute you may consider yourself my 'Master'. Now, why don't you introduce me to my fellow Servants that I shall be working alongside? And then, perhaps you should tell me more of what has happened in this War so far, so that we can begin planning to destroy our enemies."

… " _Yeah. Having a Ridiculous Servant is pretty damn amazing."_

 **AN- so yeah. The Lancer summoned forth is Scathach. Because sometimes, just sometimes, the universe likes to take pity on the SI. (Its definitely not so that I have an excuse to push up the difficulty curve even higher to such a degree where Scathach barely helps the situation. Don't be silly. Would I do that?).**


	19. Chapter 16

**AN- life sucks. Real Life, doubly so. Because its the same thing. Shit though- farewell free time, I barely knew thee.**

 **Chapter 16**

"So, these are your other Servants?" Scathach asked aloud, scrutinising the other heroes of legend loitering about in the warehouse. She didn't exactly look _impressed_ , but she also didn't seem to dislike them either.

"Yup! Hi, I'm Caster! Welcome to the Team!" Medea called out happily but offered no more greeting than that before turning back to her work. The elf-like girl was still hard at work- she'd been _really_ set back in terms of her utility. It was kinda cute just how engrossed she was getting in her present project though- focused to the point of turning out the entire world around her.

She still hadn't noticed the 'Pull my adorable little cheeks' sign stuck to her back courtesy of our friendly neighbourhood Assassin.

"It shall be nice to have another of the Knight Classes to assist me." Saber greeted the Lancer, tipping their hat to her. Clearly, they felt a certain level of kinship with the other Servant. "It shall be an honour to serve besides another Queen."

"Fufufu- did you forget that I too am a Queen, Saber?" Rider reminder them teasingly.

"Yes, but you hardly act like it most of the time, whereas Lancer practically emits grace." Lily countered, pointing at the ever aloof Scathach taking our antics with the patience it definitively requires.

Lancer looked vaguely bemused, if anything, by the banter. "Either way, it will be a pleasure to work with the two of you too. I do hope you have less… neurosis… than what your Master and the other Servant seems to show."

By now, there were only two Servants that had yet to introduce themselves to Scathach. The first was Assassin- her absence was natural though. She'd been sent out to scout. I was _really_ eager to find out more about the Red Team. The other Servant though…

"Ah! My Anchin!" Kiyohime cried out from the floor, hands clawing out in heartwrenching panic. "Another woman? Am I not enough for you!? Do your deviant tastes know no bounds!? If it was skin-tight clothing you wanted, why didn't you tell me!?"

By now, my palm is a frequent flier to the forehead. "Berserker, can you please get off the floor and introduce yourself?"

Like a snake, Kiyohime reared up, on her feet in an instance and hissing. If she were an animal, I'd say that she would be like a bear- raising her arms outwards to make herself look larger and more threatening… but from the short statured woman, she instead came across as endearing. "I am Servant Berserker! And I am the only one required to please my Anchin! There's no more room in his bed for you, as it's already far too cramped! You and your big… _udders_ … can go elsewhere!"

"That's a little hypocritical considering you're just as stacked, you know…" grumbled Medea, somehow utilising her miraculous womanly intuition to know when people far more endowed than herself were needlessly complaining.

"Yes, but I carry them more tastefully." Kiyohime huffed, sticking out her kimono-clad chest defiantly.

"So you _do_ have that kind of relationship! A womaniser too, like him, I see?" Lancer asked me, Not Amused.

I paled at that. "Scathach, if I knew what I was doing to summon all these women, _then I'd immediately stop doing it._ "

Really, is it too much to ask for another guy with a dick about? (No- Saber still doesn't count! Probably)

"Enough of her and her admittedly appealing bust, my Anchin! While she may be beautiful enough that even I can acknowledge it, the fact remains that her devotion to you pales before my own. Focus only upon me!"

"… Berserker, please let go of my arm, you're crushing me."

And once more, Saber rescues me from her clutches by literally picking the writhing kitten up by the scruff of her neck. Truly, Saber was not the Bro I wanted, but was also the one I deserved?

"So yeah, this is the rest of the Grey Team." I scratched the back of my head awkwardly. "Technically we're missing two people. Assassin is out scouting for me, while Archer has yet to be summoned. Still, these are the majority of the people that you'll be working with in the future."

"I see." Scathach clapped her hands together and nodded her head. She'd finished her appraisal, it seemed, and was willing to give her opinion. "My first opinion is that you all need a lot of work. Really, you seem more dysfunctional than anything, but until I see you in combat I shall hold off on any true criticism."

Rider looked just about ready to interrupt and tell Lancer where she could shove her critique, when Lancer suddenly blinked and took a step back. "… though, I'm not your teacher, so of course you have no obligation to listen."

Lily sighed a little at that. "I can't quite say that you are wrong. As far as Servants go, we are all rather flawed. However, I don't much like hearing you look down upon our actions and abilities. We have worked well together since this War has begun, and we _are_ still Heroic Spirits, worthy of respect."

The immortal woman shrugged her shoulders a little and bowed her head a little. She could agree with that much, it seemed.

"What!?" Medea suddenly snapped to attention. She looked around frantically for a moment, before her cute features scrunched up intently as she focused.

"Hey Medea, what's up?" Rider approached her.

"A Master and Servant are approaching!" Medea exclaimed. At that, everyone except Lancer tensed up. We could all remember the last night well. Who was it? Was Alba back? Was he coming to try and bring us down low again?

"Who is it?" Saber asked, bringing voice to the queries I had.

"There's only two of them- a Servant and a Master. They're definitely here for us- I can sense them heading straight for us."

Welp, only one thing for it. "Prepare for battle then." I suggested- no, _ordered_. "They damn well burned down our last place. I'm not letting them do it again. We're rested and ready. Let's _fuck them up_."

"N-not necessarily!" Medea said hastily, waving her arms about in objection. "They're doing nothing to hide their presence! And they're _walking_."

My eyes narrowed at that. _"If they're here to attack, and so casually at that, then either they are ridiculously competent or have no actual intention of attacking. Plus, they're ALONE. This is an Apocrypha. If one of the teams wanted to attack, surely they know better than to send only a single person up against a group?"_

Then again, this could very easily be Ilya and Berserker here to finish us off, or Older Medea and Kuzuki, or a Red Team Master with an equally ridiculous Servant. Either option was terrible. I was fairly sure that Lancer would have the oomph to actually pierce Hercules' defences, while Kiyohime could go all 'raargh, dragon!' on them, but that didn't mean I was in a hurry to face those _monsters_. And if it was Gilgamesh instead…

"Orders?" Saber pressed me.

" _That's right. I'm the Master, am I not?"_ It's sometimes hard to remember that, considering how I often felt like I was just fumbling about most of the time.

"Let's go out to meet them." I decided. "I don't want them to breach our defences and gain any information about our protections, so let's intersect them. We'll leave, say… one Servant here, just in case an Assassin is trying to do something sneaky or shit while we're gone, and then I'll take the others with me and see what the Master wants. If they want a fight, we wreck them. They want to talk? Well, then we'll have more leverage in negotiations."

Yes- that seemed like a reasonable idea. I didn't want to underestimate the enemy- that one Servant could very likely be good enough to match us, so I wanted to field everyone I could. But on the other hand, a pre-emptive attack would put a stop to any chance of negotiations, if their intent wasn't harmful. Plus, while Assassin of Blue was dead, the Red Team still had theirs in play. This could very easily be a gambit to draw me out so they could trap my homebase or something, so keeping some level of defence there was a must.

I blinked, suddenly realising something. Lancer hadn't sprung to my side like the others had at my words. She wasn't following me, as I turned to go. "Would you rather stay here or come with me?" I asked her.

"I'm glad you asked." She replied. "This _is_ a partnership, albeit temporary. I'm not willing to leap to do your bidding at only your words. I am no attack hound."

"I am aware of that." And I _was_. "You aren't an attack dog, so I'm sorry if you'd think I would consider you otherwise. Even so, all my other Servants I'd summoned had been mostly content to leave planning and so such to me, so I expected you'd be the same."

"I am Scathach." She said, as if that was an answer in of itself.

"Look, do what you want." I finally spoke. There was no time at the moment to properly argue over it or come to an agreement. She'd only been summoned recently, and an enemy was _literally_ knocking at my door. "I would _prefer it_ if you could help me out, since we've had no time yet to properly hash out the details of our 'partnership'. But if you don't want to come, then I won't waste time or a Command Seal to make you. Just… protect the base or something."

"I'll come." She instead said, a crimson lance appearing in her hands. "I can see the logic in your words. You spoke in haste, and we _can_ talk later. For now, I shall follow your lead, as I lack the knowledge necessary to properly manage the upcoming situation. I shall have to trust your judgement."

I smiled a little at that. "Thank you for the courtesy. Okay then. Medea, guard the base, and be watchful of intruders. Everyone else, let's go. No chariot this time. It's daytime, so a little bit of subtlety is necessary, mayhaps. On that note, mortal attire, everyone."

Ten minutes of walking amongst the docks later, and we finally caught up to the enemy Master. Clearly, they had noticed us leaving the base, and stopped walking towards us. Instead, they did a full 90 degrees turn and went towards the beachfront. Here was where we found the Master, sitting on a bench overlooking the sands, while the Servant stood behind them- between us.

"Hello, Tohsaka Rin. Glad to see you aren't dead." I finally greeted her, semi-warmly. I made no move to approach her, though, and kept my Servants close by. Saber in particular was as close to me as I could manage- close enough that I could feel their sword hilt digging into me. _"Wow. That came out way worse than I expected."_

"Good morning, James. And the same to you." She replied as she stood up and turned to me, equally cheery, fully in her façade.

From here, I wasn't quite sure what to say. Of all the Masters' I expected that I might see, I hadn't considered that it would have been Tohsaka Rin that sought to meet me. Especially since I considered her too smart to walk meaninglessly into the range of an enemy Master with multiple Servants and only one visible protector.

"What do you want?" Time to cut to the chase. I wasn't going to needlessly extend this matter- I wanted to get to the heart of the matter, as soon as we could.

Her smile flickered a little. "Not even going for pleasantries, this time?"

I rolled my eyes. "The time for masks is over. We're both enemy Masters, and you came to me, alone and without your team's approval. What do you _want_?"

"Well, there is no easy way to say this." Rin began. "Plain and simple, _I didn't come here without my teams' approval_."

At this, we tensed up, fully expecting that to be the cue to herald the sudden springing of a trap, or perhaps the appearance of an ambush we had been unable to detect.

However, no attacks appeared, and Archer of Blue made no motion to draw a blade either. Instead, Rin reached into her pocket and drew what seemed to be a large conch shell of coral. She placed it on the bench next to her and stepped away.

"Greetings, Master of Grey." A familiar voice emerged from it. "I chose to talk to you this way, as I assumed a Familiar would be killed on sight."

Almost immediately, I knew who was speaking. The voice was familiar because it sounded just like someone whom I spoke to every day now- it was Medea's, albeit a little deeper and more-sultry.

Rin wasn't here by herself in her capacity as a Master.

She was here in her capacity as a _Master of Blue_.

"Hello, Caster." I said clearly. "Can I assume that the Blue Team as a whole wishes to speak to me, and that Tohsaka Rin is merely the 'messenger girl', as it were?"

"You would be correct." A male voice took over. "We would be rather appreciative if you do not harm her across the course of this negotiation."

I let out a little snort. "It's funny to hear such things from a man like you, Kirei."

Even Rin had to smile a little at that too- trouble in paradise for the Blue Team, it seemed.

"At the present moment, I'll make no move to attack her, if she doesn't first." I reaffirmed, meaning my word. _I_ would make no move to attack, but I said nothing of my _Servants_. They were here for negotiations? Fine. I would play along. But if this was a trap for something, or if negotiations broke down, I had every intention to order my Servants to strike first.

I _really_ wanted Archer of Blue to stay alive so that there was a reliable weapon against Gilgamesh. But on the other hand, _Archer of Blue is fucking ridiculous_ , and it would be silly to not remove him off the board if I had the chance.

"That will have to do." Rin sighed a little. "I came here in good faith, I really did. I'm not stupid enough to want to put my life in danger like this, but I chose to come anyway in order to reaffirm our Team's intentions."

"Intentions? For what?" I pressed.

Here, Older!Medea took over. "As much as we hate to admit it… we need help."

Rin took a deep breath. "The Blue Team formally seeks an alliance with the Greys."


	20. Chapter 17

**AN: Behold the fruits of my labour! Shit chatting shit, and a pile of arguments upon that!**

 **Chapter 17**

 _Rin took a deep breath. "The Blue Team formally seeks an alliance with the Greys."_

For a moment, my mind froze as it processed exactly what had just been said, and from whom it had been spoken.

"You're shitting me." I said, slowly.

"Master, I don't believe they are." Saber of Grey replied.

"Oh, I know that. I was just expressing surprise." And I was- surprised, that was. Of all the people to approach me, I had not expected Rin, nor had I expected a genuine alliance proposal. Perhaps I was getting used to standing alone as an individual team? Either way, I hadn't anticipated this.

" _Though in hindsight, maybe I should have."_ I thought to myself. _"After all, the Blue Team has recently had their asses kicked so hard by the Reds they've had to abandon their temple. I imagine that losing their home base bloodies their noses as much as losing my own did. At least enough to consider allying with another enemy team."_

"So, are you interested?" Caster of Blue's voice echoed through the conch. The familiarity of it still bothered me, really. Still, it was probably a good thing I had ended up leaving my Medea to guard the base, since I feared that if she had been here she would have had a thing or two to say to her older self which would likely derail the whole conversation.

"Interested? You've barely said anything." I replied, crossing my arms with a hint of scepticism. "Tell me your conditions and I'll tell you what I think."

"Very well then." Kirei said. "I am sure you are aware of the events within Ryudou Temple? Considering the size of the fire and the news coverage, I would rather be surprised if not."

"This _is_ about you getting your ass handed to you by the Reds then." I concluded with a teensy little smile. "Good to know. So, you're probably here for an alliance of mutual gain, am I correct?"

"Indeed. Having our home base stolen from us… suffice to say, we are looking for revenge, and I assume you wouldn't mind some of that either."

I had to give him that- I was pretty damn interested in getting back at Alba, but I said nothing of that- keeping my cards to my chest. Instead I shut my mouth and looked back towards my Servants to buy a moment or two to think. Kiyohime and Lily seemed mildly interested, Boudica wore a contemplative expression, while Lancer was completely blank- though I felt her evaluative eyes analysing me, perhaps to see how I dealt with the situation.

"Those aren't terms." I instead answered. Because I wasn't naïve enough to accept a 'contract' without first reading the terms and conditions. Likewise, I was unwilling to risk my own or my Servants lives in some dumb alliance without getting the full details. Especially from the BLUE TEAM of all groups. I suspect that Rin is the only one whom isn't a sneaky backstabber amongst them.

"Geez- we were getting to that." Rin complained. "You give us support and the forces to boot the Red Team from the Temple, and in return we'll give you a complete non-aggression pact until the Reds are properly gone."

"Now, wouldn't you say those are good terms, hmm?" Older!Medea crowed. "Not only do you have a chance to remove some competition by assisting us, you also halve the remaining enemies you'll need to deal with in the future. Let this War be as it should be- between the original seven Servants and you, the Aberration. Really, those Reds are just eyesores, aren't they?"

On the surface- one would agree that those were good terms. We could likely destroy the Red Team if we worked together. My six Servants plus however many the Blues had left (Maximum six, if they could pull the Shirou/Ilya team into this) would be able to _destroy_ the Reds- and it had been apparent to me for a while now that the Reds were my greatest enemies, if only due to being unknowns. If I took the Reds out, I'd still have difficult enemies on the Blue Team, but at least I already had the understanding of exactly how to beat them and how they'll likely act.

But look deeper, and you realise how bad an offer it was.

"Hell no. Do you think I'm an idiot?" I glared at her. "That was rhetorical, by the way. If that was your genuine offer, then you must think the worst of me. Or your negotiation skills are worse than expected."

"You fool!" Older!Medea hissed while in the background Kirei laughed at her. "Are you truly that arrogant to snub our offer!?"

I shook my head at that. "No, but are _you_ that over-confident to assume that I wouldn't notice that I was getting played? For one thing, while I don't like the Reds, we're still enemies and it obviously benefits me more to let you bleed yourselves out more. Plus, if we did work together, there would be no guarantee that we wouldn't wipe the Red out completely in that first attack, at which point you could easily turn on us since the terms were 'only until the Reds are dead'. Hell- there's just no guarantee on your parts at all that you'd keep the promise of a ceasefire anyway and wouldn't just use this 'alliance' to pin us between a Rock and a Hard Place in the form of yourselves and the Reds we were attacking to begin with."

Indeed, this could just be a very elaborate plot set up between them and the Red Team to wipe my own faction out. The odds were slim, but _it could happen._

Rin paled at my perfectly valid argument, and looked like she wanted to protest, but held her tongue instead.

"How disappointing. Fear that holds you back then?" Caster of Blue pressed.

"No, it's something far more terrifying and rare… common sense." I stated. "Because why the hell should I risk _my_ Servants lives to help attack a fortified position… for _your_ benefits at that? Why trade one tyrant in the tower for another equally troublesome foe? Simple maths. The benefits don't outweigh the risks."

That was the plain and simple truth- there just wasn't enough incentive for me to be willing to work with them, especially with a very real threat of betrayal. The safer option was to do exactly what I had noted before- to let them bleed over the Temple a little more, and only act when I had an advantage. Sneaky but smart.

"I see that negotiations have failed." Kirei said, almost melodramatically sad.

"Not necessarily." I smirked. "Negotiations are one word… _haggling_ is another. I'm not necessarily opposed to helping in this operation, but the reward had better be damned well worth the potential price of blood."

I was unlikely to accept anyway, but let's see just how high a price I can get off them. Who knows? I could still change my mind.

"A blanket sweep peace." Rin proposed this time. "We'll agree to give you three days of non-aggression in return for your promise of aid and agree to take point on the attack so that you don't need to worry about us stabbing you in the back. Both parties could even cast a Geass if it would alleviate your fears."

"Better." I conceded. A Geass was a mutually binding Gaelic contract with fatal consequences for rule breakers, and if we worded it right it could definitely ensure that the enemy Masters' couldn't backstab us without fear of losing their precious Magic Circuits. "But not enough."

"Well why don't _you_ tell us what you want then?" Older!Medea spat- almost offended that she even had to offer concessions. Though to be fair, I was certain that she was hardly used to arranging alliances due to her stabby-back-stabby origins.

"Oh, your Command Seals would certainly seal the deal." I admitted, even as all around me friends and foes looked at me in shock and disregard.

"Now who is treating who like an idiot?" Rin snapped. "We're doing this to _win_ the Grail! Not to give up our rights as Masters!"

"Oh- don't get your knickers in a twist, Rin." I waved my hand absently in her general direction. "I meant for you to spend them. One per Servant would be enough for me. Meeting all the attending Masters' face to face and watching them use a single Command Seal to ensure that the terms of the alliance are properly maintained by the Servants in addition to a mutually binding Geass arrangement from the Masters… yes, I feel that is payment enough."

That was my counter proposal. Giving the Blue Team the temple would be conceding a major strategic location, would show them my own Servants and their capability, and could potentially cost me my own Servants if the fight goes badly. Therefore, to enter the fray, I _needed_ reassurance. A Geass would work well and I damn well intended to use them but forcing them to expend a Command Seal each would hurt them a lot more in the long run- especially since there are few real ways to gain more Seals mid war. They are a limited commodity that can change the course of a battle- so sweeping a solid third out from them would be pretty cool, methinks.

"In return for my full assistance in ensuring you reclaim your base, all I want is a three-day ceasefire ensured through a set of mutually binding Geass contracts, and a single issued Command Seal for each Servant- naturally worded to ensure that the ceasefire may be ended by either of our sides if the others are the instigators." Here, I lean forwards and beam lightly. "Now, wouldn't you say those are good terms, _hmmm_?"

Silence for a good ten seconds, then Kirei spoke up. "I don't suppose we can have a moment to discuss amongst ourselves?"

I benevolently gestured for him to do so- though I knew he had no way to see me do it. "Go for it."

With that, Rin retreated further down the shore with the conch until we were well out of reach, erected a small Bounded Field to silence all noise from inside the circle, and then proceeded to talk things through with her team. It only took them three minutes to come to a decision.

"Very well then. Your full assistance in getting us back the temple, in return for a three-day ceasefire enforced by both ends through the use of Command Seals and Geass?" Rin clarified.

I grinned just the teensiest bit. They must have been desperate, if they were genuinely considering that offer. "Yes, although I will not use my own Command Seals for the agreement, as it would render the advantage gained from my 'reward' moot and void. I will submit to a temporary Geass to keep to the contract for as long as you do."

Rin scowled, but in the end said "Very well then. We're not happy with it, but we accept your terms."

I offered her my hand, and she grasped it tightly with her own. "And so, an alliance is formed." My Lancer stated softly, being the first of my Servants to speak across this entire meeting. I had no clue if she was happy with my handling, though at the very least she didn't look dissatisfied.

The handshake was maintained for a few second more before we both released it and each took a step backwards.

"So, when shall we do this?" I asked.

"We want to attack tonight." Caster of Blue said.

It would have been nice to have our final summon, hell, I REALLY wanted that final summon, but I could live with that. "Is that a must?"

"Yes. We can't let them entrench themselves further."

Troublesome. "Fine. So, meet up beforehand to finalise everything?"

The Tohsaka Magus nodded. "Come to our new home base- the Tohsaka family mansion, at sunset. There I will have the necessary materials for us to write the Geass contracts and will give you a chance for us to meet without compromising your own security."

"Thank you for your upcoming hospitality." I gave a small tilt of the head. "Anything else?"

"No." Older!Medea said. "Just remember that if you betray us, then we will make you wish that you had died by our hands."

At hearing _that_ thrown gauntlet, there was really no choice but to delivery my own, was there? "Fair enough. And if _you_ stab us in the back, then we'll cut you up into so many pieces that not even a magic boiling pot could bring you back to life. Sounds good?"

And then, to the sound of Older!Medea's splutters of shock at me very pointedly referencing one of the legends told about her, I turned on my heel and promptly walked away while my Servants followed after me- encircling me in a protective semi-circle. _'I wish I had some sunglasses to put on, because Medea just got mythologically burned.'_

XXXXXXXXXX

"Are you certain that was the correct decision?" Lancer queried over a cup of tea, while the others worked away at their own things. Medea had been caught up to speed and was anxiously pressing on in her work to make something usable for tonight (All the while muttering to herself about rude witches and bitches and exactly how many pieces of her mind she was set to give), whilst the others made their own preparations. Consequently, this left me with a few moments to sit down with Scathach. We had a thing or two to discuss, after all.

"Maybe not." I admitted. "I like to think I'm self-reflective enough to be able to properly analyse my own decisions. I can't bring myself to regret my choice, especially as I selected what seemed like the best option I had at the time using the information I had available."

The immortal woman took another sip of her cup, savouring the classic flavour of the beverage Rider had served us. "Hmmm… I suppose we all make the decisions we consider to be the 'best' at the time, do we not? So then, Mr Self-Reflective, walk me through this. Was this the right choice, now that you've had more time to think?"

This time I took a deep gulp of my drink, buying myself an extra second or two to formulate an answer. "I'm leaning towards 'yes', I think. Weighing the pros and the cons, I can't justify _not_ going for this. There are risks involved, and I sure don't trust the Blue Team as far as I can throw them, but Wars aren't won by hiding our heads in the sand. I need info on the Red Team, I need to thin the competition, and I need to start having an influence over the general course of this war. Defensive hasn't worked so well, you see. And it would certainly be harder for me when I eventually have to go on the offensive against the Reds if they're lodged up in the remains of the temple."

"Oh yes, the 'rewards' seem worth it." Lancer agreed. "But maybe you should elaborate on the potential risks. After all, the two are hardly equal. Removing an enemy is nice but losing one of our _own_ forces is tenfold times worse, especially as we have no means in place for the recruitment of new forces."

I started counting them off on my fingers. "The physical threat of death from the enemy, the possibility that we give too much information out to enemies, that an enemy Servant may be uniquely suited to taking us down, that the Blues probably _will_ try to backstab us and that any external threats from outside the temple could prove disastrous."

She nodded her head in appreciation. "Yes, not a bad analysis. A solid 7 out of 10 answer, I'd say… were I your teacher, of course."

"Still, while those risks are bad, they are _kinda_ preventable." I noted. "At the very least, they can be minimised. Our own little Medea will be vital in keeping our health up through the fight and will likely give us at least a small bit of leeway, while correct fight allocation and sufficient ganging up upon the enemy should lower the risk of death in combat. Then we have information. Not much we can do about that, except learn as much as we can in return, and only offer our Trump Cards out after the Blues and Reds do. Specific Servants… well, reshuffling our fight orders might work, if there is someone our Servants end up facing that are specifically geared to taking them down."

"And the betrayal."

I winced a little here. " _DEFINITELY_ the biggest threat here." Older!Medea is a scary bitch, Kotomine is an evil asshole with several rotting kids in his closest and a perchance for betrayal, while Rin can also have her devious moments when she gives into her inner Magus. They're in it to win, so if it benefits them, I could certainly see them passively or actively stabbing us in the back.

But just like the other problems, betrayal can be dealt with too. "So, to minimise that risk, I suggested the Command Seal and Geass approach."

"They aren't absolute."

"No, but they are damn well _close_." I countered. Certainly, I fully expected them to try and find a loophole in the contract, but those backups definitely help limit what they can do. "They're insurance for us, basically. If the Servants somehow attack despite their Seal command, then they'll definitely get stat drops, while the Magus' will be in a lot of hot water if their loopholes are interpreted badly by the Geass. As long as we keep up our guards then we should be able to counter them fairly well. And even if the betrayal happens, then we still force them to spend a large chunk of their Command Seals. We can do a quick Teleport out via Adorable Airlines if we must or use Kiyohime's Dragon Waifu Mode to force a way out to retreat on Rider's carriage too, if necessary."

"A wise warrior always has an escape route." Lancer agreed. "Though it is the coward whom is the first to take the route when so many other options still exist."

I didn't quite agree with her, but when a legendary teacher and Magus tells you some advice, you listen. "Either way, I don't see the inevitable backstabbing happening tonight. It's just too soon. They need our support far too much to shank us early on, and since we're sending them in as the Vanguard, I imagine they'll be in little condition to properly fight us once the Reds are booted." Lancer of Blue would be, but Archer and Caster less so.

With a low chime, Lancer deposited her teacup back atop its coaster, having successfully finished it. "Not bad. Not excellent, but a strong plan. You've taken account into many variables, so at the very least you've put a lot of thought into it."

I couldn't help myself from blushing a little at her comments. "W-well, I am kind of useless as a Master, so using my dumb brains for something constructive is the least I can do. I don't want any of my Servants die. Not if I can help it." I'm realistic enough to acknowledge that this won't be a bloodless war, but that doesn't mean I won't try to pursue the avenue that sheds our own blood the least. "Speaking of the topic of my inadequacies, I kind of _don't_ want to suck as a Magus. Lancer- is there any chance that you could teach me some stuff?"

Because when you have a freakin' mythical figure sitting in front of you, notorious for the training of other Heroic Spirits, and with a ridiculous amount of competency in the Magical arts, then you would have to be a fool _not_ to ask.

She raised an eyebrow. "It would certainly be possible. Though, may I ask why you ask at such a point as now?"

"Well, I know you want to hash out the 'terms' of our Contract first, so to speak, but I wanted to ask you so there would be time to prepare and so that I don't forget." I admitted.

"That assumes that I'd be willing to teach you in the first place." She reminded me. "I _am_ Scathach, after all. I don't just teach anyone. Not even the fact that you are my 'Master' is enough to automatically assume I would be willing. I would teach you for my own reasons, and those reasons alone." At this, she leaned forwards and smiled a little bit. "Persuade me."

Welp, she sounded willing enough. Perhaps my 'plan' earlier was enough to at least let me shove a foot through the door in terms of proving myself a worthy student. Now it's just a matter of actually giving an answer that would sway her.

"Firstly, I could have asked Medea to teach me." I began. "Caster, and all. But she's pretty busy and all with her Item Creation shtick, and I wouldn't drag her away from that just to pick up some cantrips." It definitely was NOT because she was a scary little person, with a terrible teaching manner, high standards and a willingness to berate people working under her that is second to only Gordon Ramsey himself. "That explains why I came to you, anyway. Because you have experience teaching, and because I figure that if anyone can make me competent in a short amount of time, it would be you."

"And your motivation?"

"The upcoming fight is definitely a big swinger on the matter." I admitted shamelessly. "We're heading into a warzone where all the Masters are capable fighters, and I can't guarantee that my Servants can keep me safe through the entire conflict." The fight with Berserker of Blue alone had proven that- a determined Servant is a hard thing to halt. "So, having a minimal amount of training may be enough to survive that." At least, so I can live long enough to speak the word or two necessary to call for aid using my own quickly dwindling Seals. "Plus, it's been a bit of a long running thing. I'm in a World of Badass, and I am sick and tired of _sucking_. Fearing for my life is tiring. And if I want to survive and contribute to the group, then I at the very least need to start improving and quickly."

Scathach looked at me carefully, perhaps assessing my words or the intent behind them, before finally making a judgement. "Your reasoning is sound, unfortunately. As the 'Master' your safety is vital to the war effort, since you supply us with the majority of our power, so having you too weak to survive only hinders our own efforts. And you are correct that if any of us could bring you up to a level of minimal competency, then it would be me."

I stayed silent, only waiting for her actual answer. She hadn't agreed, after all.

"My terms are simple. I accept no orders from you. You may ask me to accomplish tasks, but there will be no guarantee that I will obey. You may discuss with me my actions and roles in the coming conflict, but I have the right to act as I see fit. And more importantly, you will _not_ use one of your Command Seals upon me."

The terms themselves were actually pretty favourable. Give her some freedom, don't steal her ability to act, and give her the right to choose which actions to follow. "What about using Command Seals productively? Say… to save your life, or rescue me from danger, or give you a predetermined strength boost?"

Her eyebrows narrowed. "No Command Seals. I recognise the tactical edge, but you must remember that I _aim_ to die here. In addition, I would sooner die with my pride intact and a smile upon my face, as opposed to surviving once more due to a Command Seal."

"That's pretty dumb." I pointed out, frowning. "Even so, I can respect that. No Command Seals… not unless you ask for them." I tacked on at the end.

She nodded her head in satisfaction and clapped her hands together. "Very well then. Such terms seem acceptable. We shall work together in this Holy Grail War and claim either victory or death." Less of the latter, hopefully. "And yes, I shall teach you."

"Great." I smiled in anticipation. A nerd wants what a nerd wants, and there is a certain thrill to the idea of learning magic. I'd enjoyed my brief forays so far, even if they hadn't been too successful. So yes- the idea of getting some proper training genuinely intrigued me. "When do we start?"

"Why, now, of course." Lancer said this as if it was obvious. "If you wish to be successful in tonight's endeavours against far more experienced foes, then you need all the training you can get. And I shall warn you up front- I am a _very_ demanding teacher."

"… _is it too late to go back to Medea?"_ I had no clue what I had gotten myself into, but I could only hope to emerge from the experience stronger and more kickass than ever.


	21. Chapter 18

**AN: Come ye, come ye. I come baring gifts! Of fanfiction… and that's it, really. Enjoy?**

 **Chapter 18**

If someone had once told me that I would ever get to spend an afternoon with the legendary Scathach, I would have firstly told them to stop drinking- then I would have asked them to share, because the whole idea sounded cool. Still, now that this was what I was _actually_ doing with my time, I could only beam. It was time for me to properly become a Magus- pointy hat and all, if I had my way.

It rested before us: a stone basin, recently brought up from the ground by a quick bout of Medea's Magic, and ready to be used. It was filled with pure, untouched water- freshly gathered by Errand Girl Boudica (Who moonlights as an excellent tea brewer). Around the basin, a Formalcraft style circle rested, engraved with Runic components all across the outer perimeter in bright red font. I recognised a symbol here and there on the Formalcraft side, a bit of syntax, some _inkling_ of meaning, but as a novice all this was still very much a mystery to me.

As for what it was? This… was the means to figuring out the most fundamental things necessary to even begin teaching me.

In other words, it was a Ritual designed to identify both my Origin and Element- a necessity for any proper Magus. The first was a human beings' 'connection to the Origin, the Root, to Akasha itself'. It was the defining aspect that shaped their existence and personality and shows what types of abilities may suit the user. The Element is far more standard by comparison- what spells I'm actually capable of casting. These two facts would summarise my worth and potential as a Magus, and while I didn't hold out much hope of being anything too impressive, if I had one or two of the traditional elements to my name then I would be a happy man.

"Are you sure you want to know this?" Lancer asked me, seriously. "Once you know your Origin, there can be no turning back. It _shall_ define you, and the path you will take from this point. We could very easily find out your Element alone. Are you _certain_?"

I nodded. "Better to know than to not. I guess I've always been… curious… perhaps, about what I as a person truly am on the inside. Like, when all the excess is stripped away, what remains? Just who exactly is James beneath the mask he shows to others and himself? _Who is he?_ Even without the magic side of things, I'd damn well be interested!"

She said nothing more on that, accepting my words with ease. I was sure she knew where I was coming from- she wouldn't judge me for seeking truth. "Are you ready?"

"Yes. Yeah, I think I-" Twang. I froze, stopping mid-sentence, as I felt a sudden metaphorical tugging.

"Is there something wrong?" Lancer asked.

"No." I shook my head. "I just felt something odd."

She motioned for me to actually explain myself. "My Prana connections. They're mostly steady, but one of them had a sharp increase in intake. This typically happens when they're throwing about spells and fighting and stuff. So… I just wondered what exactly Assassin was doing that needed that sharp tug of Prana, and why she hasn't needed more if she _were_ in a fight."

Lancer merely shrugged. The look on her face told me she either knew more or could guess as such but had no real desire to share those illusive thoughts. "If the Prana bond is still there, then do not worry too much about it. You can ask when she returns. At this crucial junction, we can stomach no distractions."

"Good point." I walked into the circle to stand before the pool, in a smaller circle to one side of it. "Anyway, should we cut to the chase."

"We should." And with that, Lancer took her own place on the other side of the pool. She intoned some mystic words, and the circle blared to life. I could feel the spell itself, as it 'scanned' me (For lack of a better word). Scathach gazed deeply into the waters, which to my eyes had shifted into a gaseous form of contrasting shades of black and white, slowly circling in the basin like birds of prey. This was now the point where Lancer would gaze into the mist, use her Bullshit Magic to observe the results, and then properly translate the meaning over to me.

Finally, the Ritual ended, and the thrumming circle promptly halted. The gases faded, once more becoming liquid, while in front of me Lancer wore an expression that could largely be described as bemused. Or perhaps intrigued.

"Well?" I asked her, impatiently. To an outsider I would surely look a child waiting for Santa to give them a present, but I couldn't help it. "What… what is it?"

"Oh, don't worry. It's nothing bad." She reassured me, though she couldn't help letting slip a small giggle. No- a _cackle_. "I admit, I would love to see the inner working of the Fuyuki Grail, or whatever system it is that is behind your summoning of me, because it certainly has an excellent method for determining potential Servant and Master pairs. Yes, it cannot be denied. The Grail could not have selected a more apt Servant than I to serve as your teacher."

"Geez, you're only making me more excited! Tell me more, tell me more!" And yes. Yes, I was hopping about like a child being told he was going to Disney Land, what of it?

"It's Contradictory." She said, matter of factly.

"What, I got two results?" I pressed on, curiously.

She shook her head. "No. That _is_ your Origin. **Contradiction**. That was the closest direct translation I could find for what your Origin means, though Paradox _is_ fairly close to the general definition too."

Contradiction- a simple, 13 letter word. It said so much, and yet so little. Right and wrong; inconsistent; deep and fundamental contrasts; a combination of statements, ideas and meanings which are opposed to one another.

The idea that something like that was the literal definition of my existence…

Well, at first the idea pissed me off. After all, while I may try to be self-critical, nobody likes being told that they're both an inconsistent and contradictory person.

And yet… when I started looking deeper, I had to admit that it certainly fit.

Conflicting. Yes. I could acknowledge that much. A mixture of optimism and pessimism. Moodswings of cheerful and grumpy. Constantly claiming to seek a peaceful solution, yet more often than not perfectly happy with taking the violent way out. Fighting for the sake of a wish, and yet not truly certain what said wish will even be when I've earned it.

Hell, even my very reason for being in this situation was contradictory. My presence here is fundamentally impossible, and yet even so I found myself in this World. My being here could only be intentional, and yet there seemed to be no actual purpose to my placement. And while I wanted to escape with me head on my shoulders and tried to leave this War alone, it had been ridiculously easy for me to change my mind and stick about.

I was sure that if I took the time to consider my actions with more scrutiny, I would only find more cases across my life and history for why such a title fits me.

"Yeah. I can't deny your prognosis." I sighed a little. "Like it or not, I'm a **Contradiction**."

"Don't look down upon yourself too much." She warned. "All Origins have good AND bad aspects. You're only looking at the negatives, but there are certainly benefits."

"Such as?"

Her smile know was knowing and patronising alike. "Why don't I show you?"

Without another word, she wandered further down the area formally recognised as the warehouses Magecraft workshop and picked up a half empty tub of lead paint. She placed it on the floor, and then used the accompanying paint brush to draw two symbols on the ground. The first vaguely looked like an upside-down L, while the second was like an S shape.

"This one is Laguz." Scathach said, pointing to the straight one that began the duo. "Its meaning, in lay man's terms, is: water, continual flow, healing and renewal. It embodies the mysterious and the psychic: dreams, imagination and more."

"Runes?" I questioned. I knew that Scathach was good at them, as she had taught Cu Chhulainn, and that considering this specialisation she may very well end up teaching me a bit about it. But I didn't quite see what she was implying concerning my Origin.

"Just listen." She said, and gestured to the second, more jagged shape. "This is Sowilo. Fire, success, honour and life force. It is a positive force, and so co is consequently a rune of cleansing and purification, much like many Fire spells. It also signifies the connection between the conscious and subconscious- it can serve as an excellent _bridging_ rune."

"A lovely lesson and all, and certainly fascinating… but again, what does this _mean?_ "

"Try to draw them." Scathach tossed the brush to me. "As closely as you can. Do the symbols in that same order, and about the same size too."

I shrugged and got to work. Medea had been clear enough on the importance of accurate transcription (At least when she had time to look over my stuff), and so consequently, is was easy enough for me to draw the correct symbols- especially since there were only two to tackle. It was almost fun trying to inscribe the arcane symbols as accurately as I could.

After I completed the symbols, Scathach got to her knees and joined me on the ground. "Do you know the basic mechanics of Runecraft?"

"Nope."

"Well, the general thing to keep in mind is that Runes are a language. Magical, yes, but a language. You put together symbols for greater meaning, with their order, combinations and overall syntax determining the overall message. The difference for Runes is the great number of symbolic meanings each Rune can have, since each and every sequence of Runes can have _radically_ different readings. As such, another part of Runecraft is attuning the Runes to the correct definition."

I nodded my head in comprehension. That much made sense, though the last concept went a little over my head.

"Still, this is purely a demonstration, so we're going to use the default base meanings of the runes: water, followed by heat. What kind of message does this present?" She asked me, prodding my mind into action much as a tutor would, to force me to learn and think and not just recite.

"Steam? Or maybe warm water." That seemed to be the obvious answer. Either the concepts combined, or they applied one after the other.

"Let's go with the former for now. Push some Prana into the runes- just enough to activate them."

In my mind, the turbines roared to life, and I directed as little wind as I could outwards. The energy poured into the runes up until I felt a kinda _click_ \- like a switch had been flicked, or a minimum threshold had been reached. I released my hold of the runes and watched as small wisps of hot steam billowed from the symbols. Then, the energy supplied ran out, and the runes went dead.

"There you go." Scathach pointed at the spot where the steam had been. "That's what your Origin is good for."

All I could do was look closer at the quickly dissipating steam. "Yeah… I still don't get it."

Here, she gave me an evil, little smile. She knew something I hadn't and now she was going to tell me exactly what. "Master mine, _Runes don't work that way._ "

I blinked in confusion and looked between her and the runes. To illustrate her point, Scathach tapped her own Runes that she had painted and channelled some power into them, which failed to release so much as a wisp of steam from the symbols. Instead, a sputtering sound could be heard… _and then her runes cracked_. As in, the paint itself flaked off in massive, jagged lines- leaving broken runes behind.

"Runes. Do not. Work like that." She reiterated her words, tapping between the two identical sets of runes we'd made. "You can't just slap symbols together like that and expect it to work! Thought needs to be put in! Rules learned! Symbolism on point! In this case, the important rule of thumb is that you _cannot_ place Runes adjacent to each whose selected symbolic meanings are direct contrasts to one another! Fire and water, air and ground, order and chaos, light and dark. Whatever concept the Rune is attuned to, its adjacent pairs _cannot_ be its polar opposite! If you ignore this rule, then the Runes themselves overload."

Realisation was starting to dawn on me. "And yet, using two Runes with the meanings of 'fire' and 'water', I was still able to make some kind of result."

Here, Lancer herself actually seemed jubilant. Before I knew it, she'd grabbed my hands and had pulled me to my feet, before spinning me around once using her superhuman strength and pushing me away- I promptly fell down upon my backside. "Don't you see!? You are fascinating, child! If an Element is the art form, then the Origin is the shape it takes and the talent of the artist! And you can create contradictions! You can make them work, no matter how paradoxically so! I doubt that this will be breaking any laws of Magecraft anytime soon, but in any topic of Magecraft you study you can likely take contrasting aspects and somehow integrate them together into some kind of..." Her she struggled to find words, while her hands writhed and weaved together, unable to contain her excitement.

"Some kind of big ball of wibbly wobbly, timey wimey… stuff." I interjected for her. Sue me, but I cannot miss the opportunity to misquote pop culture when I have the chance.

"Something like that! An… amalgamation!" she snapped. "Jeez, even with no talent, it would be worth teaching you just so that I could see such wonderful uses of contradictory Runes first hand! I would be _very_ tempted to drag you back to the Land of Shadows with me were this War to end unsuccessfully!"

Now, that last comment was a little scary. But I could certainly see why she was so enthusiastic about my Origin. To explain it properly, an analogy works best… if I imagined Magecraft to be similar to a programming language, for example. There were set commands and syntax you needed to use, rules that had to be obeyed and guidelines that needed to be followed, with power that needed to be supplied to the system. Success is largely predictable if you possess all the pieces to the puzzle and the self-belief necessary to cast the spell, while failures can prove deadly to the user, as the hardware breaks and crashes and the software performs in unexpected ways.

But me? I could magically put together different pieces of code that really shouldn't work and create a product that really _shouldn't_ work as well as it does. Or perhaps it was more like I had a whole bunch of extra commands I could use based on putting together those previously impossible combinations, giving me so much more flexibility in my Magecraft. Runecraft Version 1.1, now with additional features and patched errors!

Here, I laughed. "Damn it, this is _awesome_. I studied Computer Science, and Runecraft is the _language of magic and reality itself_."

I wouldn't even be surprised if more complex Rune usage ended up looking a bit like a computer program too- using Runes to define concepts and variables, then using more lines of Runes to define what they did and in what order and sequence.

"And added to that, we have your Element! You have an Ether affinity! Not exactly strong for casting spells of any particular type, but Ether can often be used in combination with the other main Elements to actualise the real Thaumaturgy!" Her laughter joined my own. "While your Ether Element allows you to cast few conventional elemental spells, it is immensely useful in Runecrafting!"

All the coins had come up heads, it seemed. My Element was useless for most normally offensive spells, but when combined with my Origin it apparently gave me great potential in the art of Runes. Factor in the fact that I had summoned an expert user of Runes who had been persuaded to teach me, and had pre-existing understanding of how programming languages function, and I actually stood quite a good chance of becoming pretty fucking good pretty fucking quick.

James Branson: Runecrafter. I liked the sound of it.

"Truly, the Grail made an excellent choice in arranging our partnership." Lancer's smile was both genuine and wide- she was truly pleased by this arrangement. All former interactions on our part had been promptly discarded and consequently deemed irrelevant- the only thing that mattered to her was my Origin and my Element, and my desire to learn. "I do believe I am going to enjoy teaching you, my Master. I will enjoy teaching you most intently."

XXXXXXXXXXX

I scrutinised the set of papers I had scattered across the floor all around me and supressed the urge to rub any tiredness out of my eyes. Across them like chicken scrawl were frantic notes and symbols, hastily drawn diagrams and boxes, and all manner of runes. All of them were drawn as clearly and precisely as I had been able to while Lancer lectured. This was the result of the last three and a half hours of teaching from Scathach, and my lessons from the immortal were exactly as useful as I'd hoped they would be.

Right now, we were taking a break so that the vast amount of info she'd given me could sink in a little, while I studied the runes she had supplied so far and tried to puzzle out an answer to the assignment she'd given me. Sure, she had shown me all the basic mechanics for how to write runes as well as the basic syntax and rules necessary to string them together. And yes, I had even been given a set of various Runes and their necessary meanings, but according to Lancer we didn't have the time to go over everything in as much detail as she'd like, so I was on the fast course and she'd unfortunately had to cut a few corners which I would later have to fill in myself once the war ended. Consequently, it was necessary that I get as much practice in as possible with both the Runes and the few tools I had so far been given to make them.

Thus, my present assignment. We still had two hours before dinner and we all came together to go over our plans for the evening, and then an hour after that we needed to worry about heading over to the Tohsaka mansion, and so I'd been told flat out to 'come up with some kind of offensive runic spell' with what I'd been taught so far ready for tonight, else there was little point in progressing any further. In other words, I was working under an artificial pressure- a deadline.

On my latest piece of paper, I scrawled down another two symbols in quick succession, before I scribbled them out in distaste. _"Yeah, those two were never gonna work. Or, at least the present meanings won't. Trying to stuff far too much into too few symbolic representations."_ Really, the problem was that I needed something short enough that I could write mid-air in the midst of combat, but strong enough to actually be of help. Three symbols were my present maximum, I'd decided. A balance between the time necessary to trace the symbols and the depth needed to _actually_ do something mildly useful. But getting the right effect you want with so little Runes was another matter entirely… I was certain that if I let myself use more the task would become easier, but I intended to use my spell in the upcoming assault, so a short one would have to do.

"Grghhh…" I growled, rubbing at my eyes. "Fuck it. Going for a walk." Because staring at the paper and bashing my head against the floor wouldn't cause me to spontaneously figure anything more out. A break seemed to be a smart idea and would let me put my thoughts in order before I tried to tackle the spell again from a fresh perspective.

So, I checked up on all my Servants getting ready for the evening.

"Fufufu, are your lessons over already?" Boudica asked with a smile while hunched over a small, portable rice cooker. I noticed that the Rider was in her usual attire with one minor change- an apron. She was getting rather into her cooking and the more domesticated side of things, I had to admit. To be honest, I was truly amazed she was even being permitted to 'aid' in the meal to begin with, but stranger things have happened.

"Yes. She's given me the absolute basics, so now it's up to me to utilise them. And how are things going on your end?"

"Well, not much I _can_ do." She admitted. "Medea was a dear and humoured me in allowing me to 'assist' her in her Item Construction, but it was clear that I was only slowing her down, so it seemed assisting in tonight's meals was the least I could do so that everyone would be in top condition."

"Well, I don't know about _top_ condition. We've all been pushing ourselves rather hard." Lily reminded us. I blinked in confusion and looked up. There, hanging from one of the rafters was my Saber, dangling upside down like some manner of vampire bat.

"Lily, what are you doing?" I asked them, already knowing I'd regret the answer.

"Why, I am on lookout duty." They spoke, matter of factly. "This vantage point is out of view for most, as few bother to look up, so allows me an element of surprise, while also giving me a perfect view of that wide window and the lot outside."

"But _why?_ "

"Well, I _am_ a spy, you know."

"… okay, that makes sense, and I don't regret asking." I admitted. "Damn it, only you could be so reasonable about doing unreasonable things."

Though, speaking of unreasonable things…

"Ah, Anchin!" Kiyohime cried out in delight, hearts in her eyes as she somehow used the ransack equipment and ingredients provided to whip up something that was already smelling surprisingly good. "What are you doing in the kitchen? Visiting me, oh, you are _sooo_ sweet."

"… sure. Let's go with that." And it wasn't strictly a lie- I was going around seeing everyone. Though I'd hardly call the cooking area of the warehouse a 'kitchen'.

"Well, don't you worry about a thing." She told me disarmingly, brandishing a large spoon at me. "As your wife, I shall naturally have a delectable feast prepared in no time at all! Dear, just sit down with your work while I do this for you. You have been working so hard, have you not?"

"Thank you." I said, nodding politely for lack of anything else to say. I still found Kiyohime's devotion a little hard to deal with, but she seemed in a good mood, and her Yandere tendencies were down for the moment while she did something so typically 'wifey' for me. Having Assassin out the warehouse was doing her good, while I knew from personal experience that Boudica was always so nurturing and sisterly that even Kiyohime couldn't _really_ find flaw in working alongside this 'potential rival'.

"I'm just gonna check up on Medea now." I left quickly before I could get drawn into more conversation.

Then, I reached Medea's workstation. Her _several_ work stations. "Almost got it! Almost there! Just need to adjust this, add that… ahah!" As expected, the elf like girl was hard at work. VERY hard at work. Of all of us, I figured that she was the one putting not just 100 percent into her work but 200. She'd vowed to get us back on track in terms of items and protections and she'd succeeded. There were several potions already corked and sitting on a makeshift shelf, two cauldrons a'bubbling and tools and miscellaneous ingredients scattered across the chaotically organised work space.

"Medea." I greeted, catching her attention. She spun with a loud 'meep' of surprise and almost fell of her chair.

"H-hey James, good to see you, almost done, don't worry!" She assured me hurriedly, already turning back to her work to file something.

"Umm… are you okay?" I had to admit that I was a little concerned- she didn't look at her best. There were bags under her eyes, she twitched uncontrollably every few seconds, her hair was a bird's nest while her clothing was splattered with who knows what.

"Don't worry about me! _Teensy little bit tired_ , but totally a-okay! Look, look, this one is already done!" she gestured to one of the complete items sitting to the side- a ring of dark metal. "I've divided functions up a little bit, so that's only the _first_ of them, but the other rings will be ready soon!"

"Others?"

"Three and seven and nine and one to in the darkness bind them!" She replied, an almost maniacal quality in her eyes.

"… Medea, you are basically doing the furthest thing from reassuring me." Because when one starts to speak in tongues, you probably need to take a break.

"I don't need a break!" she snapped, turning on me like an adorably grumpy koala (One with bloodshot eyes and blue hair), almost as if she knew exactly where my thoughts were going. "So much to do, so little time!"

I placed a hand gently on her shoulder, then forcibly turned her to look me in the eyes. "Medea, you need a break."

"I've been drinking my personal magical pick-me-up! I call it 'Heavenly Bull'! I've got at least another 12 hours before I burn out!"

"You. Need. A. Break." I bopped her nose gently at every syllable. "Sure, I'd like magic items and potions, but I'd rather you be well rested and prepared yourself."

"But I have so little left to do!" She protested, tiredly. "The telepathy ring is done, but the shield one isn't quite there yet, while the masking and reinforcement ones are far behind schedule!"

"What was that last one?" Blink. "Okay, not important. Point is, while I respect and adore your sheer dedication to getting the job done, you'd be _far_ more helpful with some sleep."

"B-but-"

"Sleep." I told her. "Get an hour or two. Try to finish that shield charm off afterwards if we have time, perhaps."

Medea didn't even bother giving a reply, only a happy smile, before her face fell forwards and slammed into the table… before her head shot upright again as she clutched her head where she'd just struck the surface top.

"Ouchie…" she rubbed her head, and I resisted the urge to go 'aaaawwww' and ruffle her adorable hair. By the time my urge had passed, Medea had drifted off to sleep at her desk in a more sensible and less impactful manner. To my amusement, she was clutching a hacksaw like a teddy bear.

"… is it wrong that I found that both heart-warming and hilarious?"

"I don't think so." Boudica said softly. I turned around to see the former Queen holding a spare blanket. I smiled, seeing what she was going to do, and stepped aside so Boudica could gently place the fabric atop the slumbering girl. "Medea really is giving it her all, huh?"

"She's been working for who knows how many hours straight now." I probably should have stopped her sooner, but Servants don't exactly _need_ sleep, and we certainly needed her to get the defences set up as quickly as she could- everything else she'd made so far were bonuses. "I kinda feel bad for the fact that we'll need to wake her up in two hours to prep for the raid."

"Hmmm…" Boudica said nothing, but she didn't disagree either.

"Say what you will though, she makes good products." I noted, pointing out the completed Telepathy Ring. She'd probably only needed to do half the work to make it as she had her last Mystic Code since that one had both the communication and defence spells implemented, but it was still ridiculously good work for such a short period of time.

"Want to try it out?"

"Hell yes." I didn't even hesitate to slip the ring onto my left middle finger. I carefully channelled some prana into the device and focused on the Servant I wished to speak to. It was about time I checked up on her too, as she had yet to return. [ _"Assassin, how's scouting going? And what was that prana surge earlier about?"_ ]

Her response was as prompt as I could hope, and just as headache inducing. [ _"Oh, hey Master! Sorry for being late coming home. You see, when I was out scouting I just so happened to bump into this_ rude _blonde man, a far more charming redhead and his companion, and I just_ had _to take the opportunity provided to me. And I may or may not be have intruded into the very heart of the Red Team's home base. No biggie."_ ]

[ _"How!? How!? You've been gone for like six hours!_ ]

[ _"I.."_ ] She began very proudly. [ _"… am VERY good at making friends."_ ]

" _She can say that again, that's for sure."_ I sighed loudly and rubbed my palms against my temple, already knowing I would regret asking. [ _"So, tell me how this whole thing even happened."_ ]

And so she did. She told me the whole story. And by the end of hearing each and every bit of her explanation, I could only giggle with anticipation. I would want to have a proper discussion with everybody later, but here and now Mata Hari had given me something I desperately needed: a little bit of confidence in our upcoming operation, and one final Trump Card for when and if everything goes wrong. [ _"I need you back here, Assassin."_ ] I told her, bluntly.[ _"I think it's time for us to scheme…"_ ]

 **AN: And so James' magical potential has finally been unveiled, along with his Origin and Element. I've been planning this powerset from the moment I decided upon having Scathach as his Lancer.**

 **We also got to have a little peek at what Assassin has been doing. Fun times are ahead. You'll see what she's been getting up to next time…**


	22. Mata Hari's Excellent Interlude

**AN- Here it is. A chapter focusing on everybody's favourite spy. If you discount Chevalier d'Eon. Top Tier Bro, against Top Tier Hoe. Or something like that…**

 **Interlude- Mata Hari's Excellent Adventure**

The woman once known as Margarethea found people surprisingly easy to manipulate. Across her lifetime she had shared the bed and ear of countless individuals, and across this time the one truth she had realised was just how _easy_ it was to use what she had to get her own way.

In this instance it was using her kind words and a hint of skin to charm a young school boy for information about what had been happening around Homurahara Academy, but he had hardly been the only one to fall victim to her charms in recent days. An older construction worker to keep an eye on the docks for her, a few kind words for a member of the local yakuza, a smile and a compliment for an overworked member of the NPA. All these and more had fallen sway to her charms in just the short amount of time she had been active in Fuyuki City.

As galling as it was to admit it, she was even better at this now that she was dead than she had been before her execution. Being a Servant had turned even her most mundane abilities into something More, while her more competent abilities had transcended and become Skills. It didn't hurt either that she was now at the peak of her physical beauty once more.

"Thanks for eeeeverything Gai!" She giggled and blew the teen a kiss, before slipping away from the school grounds and into the crowds with a skip in her step. She strolled for several minutes more before finding a quiet alleyway to slip into, upon which she reverted to her Astral Form and began to travel wordlessly to the other side of the city.

Homurahara was a bust as far as information had gone- none of the peoples of interest her Master had told her about seemed to have shown up at school. No Matous, Tohsaksas or Emiyas. It wasn't necessarily a wasted trip, however. Gossip spreads quickly amongst teenagers- only second to gatherings of housewives- so she was certain that they would deliver _eventually_.

Mata Hari sighed, clearing her mind of unnecessary thoughts, and put her mind towards better things. There were still a few hours left before she was needed back at the base, and she _wanted_ to actually find some definitive answers for her Master. Certainly, it could be argued that the bare minimum was sufficient for her to fulfil her role as an information gathering Servant, but Mata Hari wanted to go above and beyond.

Her Master was a surprisingly interesting child, even if he blustered and blushed _far_ too easily. She'd met many a lesser man, and he was hardly _bad_ on the eyes, and he had a certain earnestness about him that appealed to her. And more than that, he was a Good person. Mata Hari had accepted that she would likely die in this Grail War, as befitting her weak Servant nature, but that didn't mean she wanted _him_ to die too.

It was a poor gift, but if she could provide enough reconnaissance to prewarn and protect James, then she could be satisfied that she had done her best.

" _Now if only I could actually FIND some information."_ She'd visited everyone she could think of, but nobody had anything of interest. Whisperings of the Grail War, hints of people falling victim to mana drainage, and unexplained property damage, but _no leads_.

It was disappointing, but not unexpected. When it comes to investigation, its often ninety percent sitting and waiting and dead ends, and only ten percent results.

She manifested quietly and re-entered the crowds, pulling out a cell phone she'd acquired to check for messages, and slipped into a popular coffee establishment for business men and other high paying customers. She'd made an in here with a barista, and she hoped to perhaps eavesdrop on city officials.

So, she ordered a familiar blend and a croissant, and waited with one ear open for anything of interest.

Before the croissant had even reached her table, an unfamiliar man sat down before her. Mata Hari would have jumped up in alarm if she hadn't learnt to control her body carefully and keep her true thoughts under control. "Ara ara, who are you and what are you doing here, I wonder?"

Because the important thing to note was that Mata Hari _hadn't_ come here to specifically meet someone, while the aura and appearance of the man revealed his true nature oh so very easily.

And James had been _very_ clear upon how cautious she should be if she ever saw any well dressed, blonde haired men with an obvious attitude problem.

"Hmph. Consider yourself blessed to be graced with my presence." The red eyed man scrutinised her carefully, looking her over with a slight smirk. She could almost feel herself being undressed with his eyes. "In fact, you should be honoured that I even deemed it necessary to allow you to gaze upon me."

"You _do_ honour me." Mata Hair agreed, quickly falling into a formal manner of address. She was in a difficult situation, and she'd need to watch her words carefully. "If you could, your grace, would you please explain how you found me and why you seek out someone as lowly as me?"

"I am the king." He said, as if that was the only explanation necessary for how _he_ of all Servants had managed to track her down- an infiltration specialist whom as far as she was aware hadn't been discovered by any other Servants. "I will concede that it was a tedious endeavour to find you, courtesan. Had I not found you today, then my patience would have drawn thin and I would have directly approached your Master."

Mata Hari didn't need to be told how bad it would have been had Gilgamesh ever directly approached her Master. That still didn't answer _how_ he found her- but she could make a few estimated guesses. Based upon her talks with James, Archer's Master might have had the experience and knowledge to notice her subtle investigations and begin searching from there, while Gilgamesh himself may just have been lucky enough to personally notice her while in Astral Form- something only a Servant could possess. Apart from that, an enemy Assassin could perhaps locate her, while that Ruler class Servant would know her nature at first glance- even _with_ her Skills.

Instead of directly stating any of this, she instead put on a demure smile and fanned her face casually. "Many thanks then deeming me worthy of meeting you."

"You are not worthy." He stated, simply. "Your only worth is in the bedroom. However, your Master is an amusing addition to this competition if only in the chaos he brings, and so in my generosity and boredom, I am here."

"Then I shall thank you for that generosity instead, and gratefully ask that you impart your words upon me." Mata Hari almost jumped for joy at this opportunity for information- even if her anonymity had been broken somehow. That just meant she had to be cautious in the future- but here and now he had information to offer, and she would gladly wring him for everything he would offer.

"Hear my words and warnings." He intoned, grandly. "Firstly, he should visit that damned Saint and actually get all of her knowledge. In addition, there are still two more."

"Two more? Of what?"

Gilgamesh gave her a pointed look of disapproval, and something else. "Do not speak out of turn to me. I told you to listen, so do so. There are still _two_ more."

With that, he rose from the seat and headed to the door. He left, only calling out one more time as he left. "Rats like you are best served scurrying elsewhere. I recommend the Mount Miyama shopping district. If you are quick, you may be able to still acquire an extra hint."

Mata Hari was left to ponder his words in silence, contemplating exactly what she'd been told. James should visit Ruler at some point because he lacks some knowledge of importance, that there are still 'two more' (Of what, she had no clue), and that she should personally visit the Mount Miyama shopping district.

This last point was oddly specific, and she likely would have treated it as a trap if it wasn't Gilgamesh telling her. From what James had said of the Golden Archer in passing and from his legend, he wasn't the sort to trick her. If he wanted her dead, he would do the deed himself.

With a gesture she called over her waiter to pay the bill for the food and drink she hadn't even had the time to consume, and quickly fled the establishment. Miyaya was a good half an hour away on foot, so she would slip away in Astral Form and arrive in ten minutes.

When she got there, she clearly saw the 'hint' Gilgamesh had been referencing. Just out of the corner of her eye, only a good fifty meters away, were a Servant and Master pair whom were most definitely _not_ part of the Blue Team.

It had taken many days, but Mata Hari had finally found a member of the Red Team in person. She smiled a wicked smile, adjusted her shirt and skirt a little bit, and then approached the duo. _"It's time to unravel the mystery of the Red Team and their members, me thinks? And what better a gift to give to my Master than knowledge of the Red Team's base of operations from the horse's own mouth?"_

XXXXXXXXXX

"Oh, I'm so grateful for you leading me here, mister Velvet!" Mata Hari exclaimed in excitement, upon reaching the base of Ryuudou Temple.

"Don't go thanking me." The tall man growled- rather like an irritable cat. "I only gave you this charity because the great lug over here agreed to help you."

She smiled up at the even greater form of the Servant whom had failed to identify her own status as one. "Then I shall thank you too, mister Red!"

'Mister Red' sheepishly laughed a little, nudging his Master with an oversized elbow. "My young friend here spends far too often around small blondes. Truly, accompanying a beauty such as you should be reward enough." Here, the badly disguised Servant leaned down and whispered loudly to her, "My friend here badly needs to find himself a woman. And I _do_ think he likes you."

"Isk-Red!" the Master protested, just the hint of red upon his cheeks. "D-don't be ridiculous. I keep telling you. I am primarily a scholar and have no time for such a thing as a foreign fling."

"Relax, Waver! I'm just trying to bring you out of your shell a little bit!" the Servant laughed boisterously, and for a brief moment Mata Hari regretted her deceptions. She felt these two were 'decent' people, and probably worthier of the Grail than most of its participants. However, she had her priorities, and no matter how warm Iskandar the Conqueror was, she intended to see the Grey Team to victory.

He sighed. "This doesn't really feel like the time for it, though." He gestured up the great steps to where the burned our husks of the buildings now resided. There were still the occasional reporter and police officer occupying the grounds, but for the most part it was empty save for the Monks that remained who were trying to fix and gather what they could.

"Oh, sweet child, aren't you a generous soul for agreeing to help the temple you were staying over at!" Mata Hari cried sweetly, all the while knowing very well that the man before her was likely one of those responsible for the damages concerning the temple, and that his claims to be helping with rebuilding was likely a lie told to keep up the façade of his Magus nature.

"L-let's just go up, okay. We _did_ say we'd lead you here." Waver said, flushing a little. With a flourish, he moved ahead to lead the way, while the Servant followed shortly behind him, a bit more serious but still joking around a little with his Master.

Then, they reached the top of the Temple, and Mata Hari could definitively say that she was inside enemy territory. At the gate, just as expected, she felt the invisible and barely concealed presence of a Servant. "Oh my, it looks so much worse in person!" She exclaimed, scrutinising the wreckages around her, and seeing what else she could spot.

"Didn't you do any prior research?" Waver questioned. "I mean really, for a reporter you didn't know where the temple was, nor its state?"

"Tee hee. I'm a reporter, not necessarily a _competent_ one. I got lost." The brunette teased, sticking out her tongue and masterfully moving the conversation along as she also gestured for Waver to lead on. "Now, would you kindly lead me about the temple? My job would be _soooo_ much easier if a pair of strapping lads like yourself could show me the important spots."

With nary a protest, the tour began, and Assassin continued her more 'subtle' inquiries. She already knew most of what she needed, but it would be best to stay in character and ask anyway.

"So, tell me, what brings the two of you to Japan anyway?"

"Business." Waver explains, curtly cutting her off. "Me and a few others at the university I work for are here concerning economic grants to go towards a new discovery we're working on. It's a little hush hush, so I cannot say anything more."

"That's _one_ way to put it." Joked 'Mister Red'.

"So, since the temple is wrecked, where do the two of you sleep?"

"A few of the back buildings survived." He gestured towards where the lake lied. In the distance she could spot a few areas where more people gathered together, where the buildings looked less than structurally sound but were still hospitable, as opposed to the piles of debris near the entrance. If it was to be believed, the defences the Red Team had been able to personally set up there was as strong as could be expected- and was a sufficient fall back point should the initial gate fall.

"Who's this then?" A newcomer spoke up, stepping forwards. Dressed properly in a suit and hat, Mata Hari paled. _"He's the one who burned down the hotel. While I was_ still _in it."_

Cornelius Alba. A Master. Without his Servant. Mata Hari looked about, briefly considering acting upon Alba _now_ , but it would be reckless for her to try it amidst all these people. She knew that other Red Team members were about, so if she _were_ to try something, they would either need to be far more isolated or have the entire team together. She would have to be satisfied with the infiltration she had already initiated.

"Oh, hello handsome!" She greeted him warmly, _very_ happy that Alba had never caught a glimpse of her as she slipped outside with the crowds of the hotel. "My name is Louise. These two were kind enough to help a poor, lost, journalistic reporter!"

He seemed to buy it, at any rate, even if he looked unhappy. He turned on Waver. "I see that you've made a _friend_."

"We _had_ to leave." He retorted. "Mr Red wanted to purchase things, and _I_ wasn't going to stop my k-friend. And since we were all going to the same destination, it would almost be more suspicious to _not_ help her, wouldn't you say?"

Alba didn't look like he agreed, but he wasn't willing to properly go into what he thought out in the open like this. The masquerade was a very good thing, really.

"Hmmmm… you look like you two need to talk to each other. Do you want to call this tour done?"

'Mr Red' sighed." I am afraid it might be. Waver's 'business associates' are not the friendliest." He leaned in closer to Mata Hari and winked. "To tell you the truth, we weren't really supposed to leave. But I just _had_ to purchase the newest Admirable Great Tactics game! So many have been released since the last time I played! It's a shame I wasn't allowed to bring that console with me here, but I shall not let this hurdle stop me! I shall pillage myself a new console, given time!"

" _The sad thing is, he seems to be serious."_ Mata Hari was almost certain that she was the only sensible Servant out there, really.

Mata Hari gave him a reassuring set of thumbs up and left the group to talk. She slipped away from the Masters and Servants, quickly falling into the background as she donned the mantle of 'Louise Francoir', Ace (But in truth, not that competent) Reporter.

She had the run of the place now, with no one person specifically watching her, an hour or two still to spare, and with an opportunity to _finally_ scratch that itch that could only be found with reliable reconnaissance. There was a lot she had already learnt from Waver and Rider, but even they knew only so much of the machinations of the Red Team- so from here she would need to prove her worth as a Servant of Reconnaissance. She cracked her knuckles, donned her friendliest smile, and got to work.

 **AN- Mata Hari's Espionage Skill is so broken, plz don't nerf. And 10 out of 10 would abuse the Pheromone Skill. Yeah- Mata Hari isn't good for much, but what she** _ **can**_ **do- infiltration- she does extremely well.**


	23. Chapter 19

**AN- well, here we go again. I present you more of James chatting shit.**

 **Chapter 19**

If there was ever one Sacred thing in the household I grew up in, it was evening meals. At dinner time, you _must_ be home, you _must_ sit at the table, phones _must_ be put away, and by all that is holy, you _must_ engage in conversation. To a lesser degree, I had picked up this mindset, so it was with great joy that I sat down at the table for dinner with all my Servants. Medea had awoken from her slumber a good half an hour ago and was admittedly still tinkering away with that shielding ring under the table, but was largely cognizant, while Mata Hari had only just made her way home with a spring in her steps.

"Dig in everyone~" Boudica declared, placing enough dishes down to feed an army, while beside her Kiyohime was already distributing plates and dishes and was serving the food. I made sure to keep an eye on her as she served my overly large portion- didn't want her to do anything too _Kiyohime_.

We needed no more prompting to dig in- each and every one of us was going to need all the energy could. And so like a pack of hyenas, we descended upon the food and for ten glorious minutes of silence we consumed and devoured. It could only be described as a massacre of calories. With satisfaction at our ruthless consumption, we all sat back and basked in the afterglow of such a well-cooked meal. Kiyohime's eastern dishes had been… interesting (I could taste something that seemed _just_ off), while Boudica lived up to her claims of being a master of British foods- it was nostalgic to just tuck into some good old English food.

"Now…" I began, pushing my empty dish aside. "With stomachs filled, perhaps we should get down to business?"

My words echoed a shift in mood- backs straightened and eyes narrowed. Dinner had been an oddly quiet moment of reprieve from the Holy Grail War, but soon we would be back in the thick of things. It was time to get Serious.

"Shall I begin?" Assassin asked, and at my prompting she pressed on to give me her full report. She'd told me a little bit telepathically about _how_ she'd gotten her information, but I'd decided to wait until her return for a proper report. "Well, the first thing I should mention is my run in with Gilgamesh, the Archer of the last War."

"How did that go exactly?" Lancer asked. "From what I have been told, he has yet to act, so what caused him to do so now?"

"He wanted to share some information with me. I admit that I still don't know _how_ he found me, so I'll need to be more careful now, but he had some useful advice." Assassin admitted. "Firstly, he recommends that we go and bother Ruler up at the church. Apparently, someone has grabbed the Idiot Ball, either us or Ruler, and there's some key information that we haven't been told or asked for."

I nodded my head grimly. I wasn't looking forwards to it, but we'd need to get that taken care of sooner rather than later. "Maybe we can do it tomorrow?" I suggested. "Either way, we don't have time today."

A round of agreements all round.

"Next bit of advice. There are still 'two more'." Assassin directly quoted the man.

"Two more? Of what?"

"Exactly." She nodded her head solemnly. So, she didn't know either. Did Gilgamesh mean that there were two more Servants active that I wasn't aware of? Perhaps a sneaky Avenger or a Shielder? Or was the message a little more context specific?

"Fuck. And it's not like we can go bother him to find out more." Well, we could, if we didn't enjoy living. Gilgamesh had decided to gift us some information, for some reason I really couldn't understand, and I doubt he'd be happy to have to elaborate.

"Hmmm… I'll put some thought into the matter." Scathach mused, and I left it at that. If anyone could figure out his words, it would be my Lancer.

"Anything else?"

"Well, he also pointed me in the direction of Waver and Iskandar, and we both know how well that went." _Very well_ indeed. Gilgamesh had done me a great boon, unfortunately… and I hoped that he wouldn't come and bother me later to repay it.

"Now, tell me of the Red Team." I demanded, for that was the most important point.

Mata Hari smiled. "Oh, I can tell you of the Red Team. Firstly, their temple. A single Servant stands guard at the temple gateway- a Berserker of some kind with inhuman attributes."

Inhuman attributes? I had no clue what Heroic Spirit could be like that? Someone birthed of a monster or monstrous? Maybe a Berserker!Medusa? "Did our little source tell us anything more about Berserker of Red?"

"The Master has refused to say anything more of his identity." She sadly informed me. "Inside the temple, most of it had already been demolished, but some of the area closer to the lake are more or less untouched. They will likely retreat there to their protections should the gate be overrun. As for the Servants and Masters… we obviously have Waver and his Rider." A tough pair of enemies ordinarily- but since we were attacking tonight I was pretty confident in our chances if we fought him.

"Berserker and his Master, a certain Haruhi Borzak, whom specialises in defensive Witchcraft." A Servant and Master whom were both unknown to my knowledge of the Nasuverse. It was a shame that we didn't know more- but she had volunteered his services as the sole protector of the temple gates for a reason. I felt that the Blues who would serve as our vanguard would have quite a bit more trouble with Berserker than expected.

"Then there is Cornelius Alba and his Caster, whom we have all come to dislike." Fucking tophat wearing prick whom burnt my damn hotel down… "He's another one with his cards close to his chest. From what I can gather though, Caster is very much a Caster. He is proficient with spells of all elements and possesses a sword that serves as his Noble Phantasm." Odd for a Caster to be wielding a blade. Whatever next? An Archer with swords? Rhetorical- already canon. "He wields Elementals, uses Jewelcraft and apparently can create Philosophers Stones."

Now that last point was an interesting one. "Oooh… he's an alchemist of some kind then. My guess is Nicolas Flamel." Thank you, Harry Potter.

"It's as good a guess as any." Lily said with some frustration. "Do you know just how many people have legends tying into the Philosophers Stone? Even Isaac Newton was said to dabble in Alchemy." So really, while we'd narrowed the field, we still had quite a lot of suspects.

"Moving on… there is one Servant we don't need to worry about. One of the Masters has already lost his Servant, and is apparently a fairly average Magus when compared to the others."

"Lost as in dead or-"

"Stolen." She clarified.

"Medea…" Caster growled, finally speaking up. So- we'd likely see the Servant when we headed to the Tohsaka mansion. "Who was the Servant?"

"Julius Caesar." I heard a sudden shattering sound. Rider had slammed her first down hard- and we now had a shattered plate and a cracked table to worry about.

"A Roman…" She growled. There was a dark look in her eye that seemed awfully unusual, and her whole body trembled. "They have a damned Roman."

" _Fuck. Romans killed her whole family, didn't they? And doesn't she dislike them enough that she has an entire damned Skill revolving around her fighting Romans?"_

"Boudica… is this going to be a problem." I asked softly.

"No." She said, resolutely. "I can… I can stay my hand." _For Now_ , went unsaid. "You can't trust a Roman, but it's not like the rest of the Blue Team is very trustworthy either. No- they truly are a match made in hell."

"Very well then." I said, hesitantly. I was going to have to keep an eye out, either way. "Who… who else do we need to worry about?"

"Luvia Edelfelt summoned a noble Archer. What you would typically expect of an Archer Class Servant, really." _Finally_ , a Master I recognised. Luvia wasn't necessarily a good enemy to have, but she was predictable. A richer, snootier Ojou-Sama version of Rin. She basically _is_ just another Rin at this point- we should just pair the two off to have a perfectly balanced fight- what with both using the same type of Magecraft and both having an Archer whom really is an archer.

"Next threat- an Enforcer was sent into the fray to replace the one on the Blue Team that's already been defeated." Ouch- Enforcers are no joke at all. Guaranteed to be a strong Master then. I should avoid them if at all possible. "A woman named Forte." Forte… I'd heard the name before, but I couldn't quite picture it. A very minor character, in other words. "Her Servant is an Assassin not of the Hassan archetype."

I rolled my eyes at that. "Poor Hassan-kun. Looks like nobody in this crazy war summoned one of you." There, there, there. I'm sure someday will love you as one of the stone-hearted murderers that you are. Just not in this war. "How Assassin-y is he?"

"Not very. Charles Henry Sanson is an executioner, after all." There. We. Go. A direct damned name! Concrete, solid evidence!

"Ohoh. Sanson, eh? Umm… who is he again?"

"The Executioner who popularised the Guillotine and killed many a peasant and noble alike across the Revolution." Lily explained thoughtfully. "A fellow Frenchman too. It will be a shame to have to face him, as I would have loved to talk to him about the France we both adore. Alas, such is War."

An Executioner… sounded like he would be a Servant more suitable for straight up combat and killing, anyhow. No need to fear him offing us in our sleep- an executioner is direct, and you always see him coming. And I could almost sense what kind of Noble Phantasm an executioner would possess. If it doesn't include a one hit kill, I will be very surprised. "We'll have to be careful, then. One opening and it'll be off with our heads." It was a sobering thought, but a necessary one. Medea could heal the dying, but if you're dead then you are flat out of luck. And insta-kill allows no time between cause and effect of death.

And then it hit me. A Servant specialising in killing. Without thinking about it, my eyes slipped to Lancer. _"Whatever I do, I cannot let them fight. Because if anyone can provide the death Scathach seeks, it would be an Executioner."_

"That's six Servants." Scathach pointed out.

"The seventh is Hector." Assassin dropped the bomb rather casually. "Waver's boss lady summoned him."

"By Zeus… so we'll be facing Hector from the Trojan War." Medea's eyes squinted adorably. "He'll be a problem. I don't think that any shield I could create would be able to block his spear."

"Then I suppose I'll just have to burn him to a crisp before he can throw it then, right?" Kiyohime hummed lightly. "In fact, I should just burn them all, to be honest."

"You… you go do that." I told her, giving her my full blessing for her homicidal urges. Because better they be directed at them than at myself.

"Oh Anchin, I _will_." She said, and it was sorted.

I rose from my seat and approached Assassin, who looked up with a pouty face. Then… I gave her the best head pat I could. "Mata Hari… you did good." I told her, matter of factly. She'd finally delivered on the hype today- giving me the information that I desperately sought. The Reds were no longer the ominous spectre that I'd feared for so long. The curtain had been pulled aside, and the actors revealed to the stage. She couldn't get _everything_ , but her actions today had exceeded all my expectations.

Assassin, funnily enough, looked like a cat in the way of a truck. "E-eh?" And so in a very rare occasion, the spy and seductress flushed a hearty crimson- apparently in embarrassment. "W-well, of course I did." She spluttered. "P-praise me more!?"

"You did _very_ good." I reaffirmed- because good work should be rewarded. And I could give her nothing but my praise. Nothing but praise and a headpat worthy of Shade himself. "Thank you. Not even Saber could have gotten me all this."

"Thank you, Master~" Mata Hari basked in the praise and the head pats- finally vindicated.

However, all was not well. "I. Am. So. Damned. _Jealous._ " Kiyohime, please don't set fire to the table. Correction, please stop setting fire to the table.

"You certainly seem happy." Lancer noted.

"Why shouldn't I be?" I finished the head pats and returned to my seat. "I feel ready for tonight. For the first time in forever, we aren't going in blind. We'll be going in with an army, and it is with every resource we can muster. The Red Team are known factors now, and even my Magecraft is finally starting to come along."

"Did you finish your homework?"

"Damn skippy did I." With a flourish, I removed my finished product- a single sheet of paper with a set of Runes carefully traced upon it.

"I asked for _one_ set of Combat Runes, not two."

"The second was so quick to do it really wasn't a worry." I shrugged. "Besides. The first one is the only real _combat_ combat spell. The second is just kinda a specialised last resort, y'know?"

"Even so, good job. And since you seem so fond of them…"

"Lancer, when did you rise from your seat, and why are _you_ now patting my head?"

"Good work is to be rewarded with head pats, is it not?" I was almost certain that Scathach was teasing me, but I damn well couldn't call her on it, could I?

"Urk. Can we get this soppy stuff out the way?" Medea called out. "We still need to go over the plan for tonight, don't we?"

"We do." I agreed.

"Also, here." A throw and a catch, and a second ring was added to my collection.

"You finished the Shield Ring?"

"I finished the Shield Ring. Amazing the quality of your work when you aren't high as a kite from magical energy drinks, huh?" Energy drinks are hit and miss. The work you do at 3 in the morning and high on caffeine either far surpasses anything you could ever do while cognizant or is actually just trash.

"Even better then." Because James always approves of new toys to help stop myself getting shanked. "So yeah. Let's go over things one last time before we set off. We're going to the Tohsaka manor to gather up, then we'll head to the Temple. The Blue's will be the vanguard that hits the Temple first, while we'll act as support and sweet in when the way is clear. We'll need to decide tactics when we meet the Blues, and we'll also need to make sure the terms are fulfilled on their end. A Command Seal applied to each Servant, and a Geass contract for each Master. So while the Blues are all filthy backstabbers save for Rin, we should _hopefully_ be able to limit their avenues for betrayal."

Head, meet table. Except that for once it wasn't me doing the headbashing. "I'm an idiot." Medea stated.

"How so?" Lily queried.

"I really should have pointed this out the moment you told us that we were teaming up. Blame it on the energy drinks and lack of sleep and absence of me at the meeting with the Blue's representative. Master, the Geass contracts and Command Seals… they'll be about as useful as a boat made of tissue paper."

Say what now?

"Rule Breaker severs contracts." The loli told me bluntly.

"Well, yes. We can't expose our backs since she can sever the bond between Master and Servant-" Except hang on a second- Medea is right. Yeah- Rule Breaker was mostly used in canon to steal Servants, but it's not like it's the _only_ thing it can do. It can sever and break any Magecraft. ANY. MAGECRAFT.

"You understand, right?"

"I do." And then I cursed with every swear word I knew. "Fuck me in the arse, what was I thinking? A Geass contract? I was trying to sucker the Witch of Betrayal with a Magical Contract… the same damn thing her Noble Phantasm is MEANT to break! And it's not like the Command Seals would work well either, since she could theoretically just sever the bonds between Servant and Master so that the Command no longer applies, and then have them re-establish their Contracts. Fuuuuuck!"

All my newfound confidence… down the pan. Because the fear of betrayal had just exploded exponentially. If I lost sight of Older!Medea even once in the battle… "If the Geass was worded correctly, could it identify if Medea tried to break it and act?"

"I don't know. Maybe?" My Medea honestly looked worried now. "Maybe… maybe we should call this off. We can't trust me- _her_."

"We can't." I agreed. "But even so… can we give up the opportunity to gang up on the Reds either?"

Damned if we do, damned if we don't. Either we maybe get stabbed in the back by Older!Medea since my ironclad precautions were actually made of plasticine, or we potentially have to face the prospect of needing to assault the Temple later on our own, against the full might of the Red Team when they were already well entrenched in a defensive location. Either our 'allies' could potentially stab us in the back, or we could suffer far more bloodshed in taking the Temple later.

"Fuck! Just… fuck!" It's never easy, is it?

Then, a feeling or warmth as a pair of arms encircled around me from behind. The smell of fields, and red hair lightly obscuring my vision. "There, there, there." Boudica whispered as she hugged me tightly. "Calm down. It'll all be alright."

No. It wasn't. Her words were platitudes at best, but they were still reassuring. Boudica truly is the Best Big Sister character, isn't she? Even with just a few words, she was capable of calming me down to such an extreme.

"Okay." I said, pulling myself out of her grasp before Berserker got any madder and finally acted upon the terrible idea I could already see her mind processing. "So. Things are bad. Tonight's events now have a very real chance of going badly. We all know how badly this could go." Because while normally alliances have no means of ensuring compliance while our alliance did, we were also working with a group that was far more likely to backstab us than most, and in a position to do a lot of damage if they did.

"Where are you going with this?" Lancer asked me.

"I'm calling for a vote." I announced. "In this case, I really don't feel confident deciding. Maybe if we tweak the Geass and force them to use the right Commands then we could get away from this intact, and maybe they don't want to stab us in the back and battle us so early. But, there is always the chance. So since this is a problem of paranoia, I'm putting it to the group, since you're the ones who will be risking your lives for me. Either Yay we go, or Nae we do not."

A disheartening silence. I looked around the table, everyone was deep in thought. Finally, someone spoke. "Yay." Chevalier d'Eon said, with resolute determination. "In War, risks must be taken. And so long as this Dragoon is guarding your back, then even with betrayal, then I shall allow no harm to befall us."

"Nae." Lancer suggested. "As much as I _want_ to fight this Red Team… I must also do what is best for this entire team, must I not? And I have a bad feeling about this." And I'm pretty sure that when Scathach has bad feelings they are premonition, and not paranoia.

"Nae." Rider says. "I can't trust the Blues. And I would sooner be accused of cowardice than face both Red and Blue tonight."

Two votes for no and one yes, with three still to go.

"Yay." Mata Hari made her decision known. "I may not be one of those fighting tonight, but we underestimate our own strength and advantages. One must know when it is the right time to strike, and I feel that time is now. In the worst case scenario, we outnumber the Blues, and have enough firepower to escape. And in a REALLY bad scenario, I would even accept being Summoned." And with three of her Command Seals left, it was certainly doable. It would DEFINITELY break her remaining cover, but sometimes a nice bit of Mind Control can make such a sacrifice worthwhile.

Two for yes, and two for no. The vote is tied.

"Yay." Kiyohime was the one advocating it this time, to my surprise. "No matter what my darling, I shall always protect you, so fear not the traitorous Blue Team. I will destroy all your enemies for you, if you would only ask. And sometimes… one can no longer wait. Action must be taking, regardless of the potential consequences, and you must _burn them all_."

Okay. A little too Aerys Targaryen there for my liking, but still a valid opinion. I suppose. Which leaves only Medea…

"Nae. If I know my elder self, then she WILL betray us at the first opportunity. No matter what bindings we give her, no matter what command, no matter how smart we play this… at the first sign of weakness, we shall find her dagger plunged into our back, and lose everything in the process." Medea's decision was as predictable as it was troublesome.

Because I had six Servants and received equal votes.

"It seems that you will have to act as the tiebreaker." Saber said. "Your decision, my Master?"

"Fuck it all." Because I'd done the damned vote to try and get some help in making this decision, and yet now I was in the same damn place we started. So, like it or not, I was going to have to make the decision. The consequences would be on my shoulders.

"We'll go." I decided. "We'll go and destroy the Red Team, and if it looks like the Blue Team will betray us, then we'll destroy them too."

Damn me, damn them, damn us all. The die was cast, and I was committed to trying to make this night the bloodiest I possibly could. Servants would fall tonight… now if only my gut would stop tightening up on me. If only I could rid myself of the suspicion that I was walking head first into a Dead End.

 **AN- damn has this build up lasted longer than I expected. Oh well. That's the problem with treating characters like they are competent and that the Grail War involves actual Strategy- namely this. But rejoice! The Talking Shit is almost over! Next chapter the Blue Team enters, and after that the attack itself happens. I have such things planned…**


	24. Chapter 20

**AN- Welp, sorry for the long wait. Uni time is busy time. For your long wait… a rather small chapter? Uh… at least this is the last chapter of backlog so we're now up to date with SB and SV? Now its just a matter of waiting for a** _ **new**_ **chapter! *Dust bunny blows, as the seas of writing run dry in semester time***

 **Chapter 20**

We arrived at the Tohsaka mansion with no fanfare at all. A quick, uneventful march and then we were before the present base of operations for the Blue Team. I stood in the middle of our little entourage, with Boudica and Lily to my left and right, Medea and Kiyohime to the back while Scathach took point. The overall impression was rather intimidating- a united front and enough firepower in one place to level an army and hopefully intimidate a group of stabby backstabbers.

"Oi, we're here." I called out at the gate and saw a crow from inside the boundaries of the property flutter away- a Familiar, no doubt. A moment later and the metal gates swung open with a loud click. I took a deep breath and looked around at my party one last time- faces filled with determination and no small amount of anxiety. Then, we stepped forwards and into the repressive aura of the Tohsaka estate.

" _Into the mouth of the beast we go."_

Fading out of his Astral form appeared an unfamiliar figure- a portly man wearing a coat of red and gold that could barely cover his massive frame. He certainly didn't look like much of a legendary Heroic Spirit to me, but it was the little things that gave him away. The leaf of laurels around his head, that confident smile and the grit in his eyes.

"Julius Ceaser." Rider practically hissed, before he even had chance to open his mouth.

"Oh my, it seems I've been caught at a disadvantage." He offered a deep bow. "It is as you say, lovely lady! I am the one known as Julius Caesar!"

"I am aware." Boudica said with clenched fists. "Now, lead us to your Master."

His piercing gaze looked deep into her, and then into the rest of them. "Not even time for a pleasant conversation? It is so rare that figures such as we Heroic Spirits have room to interact."

"Alas, we're here on business." I pointed out.

He inclined his head in agreement. "It as you say. I suppose that if you are so eager to return to the table of war, then so be it. I shall have to attempt to find the secret of that redheads loathing of me another time, will I not?"

"If you live long enough to do so." Rider whispered under her breath. I placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and gave her a reproaching look. [ _"Boudica…"_ ]

She rolled her eyes, but the hardness within them remained.

Saber of Red sighed and gestured to the building ahead. "Disappointing, disappointing, oh so disappointing. Come, Servants of Grey, and meet those that have taken my services and blade. And though we may be 'enemies', let me offer you what little wisdom I can. Do not lower your guard at the negotiations table."

"We do not need to be reminded of such, king in all but name." Lancer replied. "If my student should falter, then it is my duty as his teacher to 'scold' him, is it not?" And no sane man should wish to be scolded by the godkiller of the Land of Shadows.

So Caesar led us onwards to the house, then inside to the very luxurious living room. Sat down already were the Blue Team sans Ilya's faction. Older!Medea occupied one sofa and shared it with her Master, whom I was surprised to see Caster of Blue actually present to us, while the other chairs around the table were taken up by Kirei, Rin and Archer. "Welcome, oh Master of Grey!" Declared Kirei with his signature 'rejoice' pose.

"Where the fuck is Lancer?" I replied, bluntly.

"I have sent that dog of to guard and scout." He replied dismissively.

"Our agreement was for me to observe the _entirety_ of your group." I reminded him.

"Cu Chulainn is a rowdy dog at best, and a Command Seal may be issued irrespective of where the mongrel may be." The priest shrugged.

"That is rather suspicious, you know." My Lancer replied casually, even as she stepped forwards to give the priest a piercing stare. "Especially when I was so _eager_ to meet a fellow Lancer…"

"Well, you'll have to be disappointed, won't you!" Declared Rin with a pointed finger-point. "Look, we're here to confirm our plans and fulfil our side of the deal, as _you_ demanded. So are you going to make this more difficult for yourself or not?"

I levelled my best glare at her and her group, staring the most at Older!Medea- whom had been suspiciously quiet. Probably by virtue of her younger self who was standing behind me and giving the witch a good glare of her own. I wish her hood was down, if only so I could see the expression on her face. "I have good reason to be cautious when not five minutes in you have already failed to fulfil your side of the deal. I come here in good will, do I not?"

No reply- a very pointed decision to not reply from the Blue Team. "I can see why you would be… hesitant." Caster of Blue said, a sharpness in her tone as she gestured to my Medea. "When you have _her_ to colour your impressions. I knew those Bounded Fields were familiar… I should have really expected this."

"And why should I _not_ warn them of you, oh Witch of Betrayal?" Medea said with a cute little growl.

Even without understand the context behind their conflict, it was clear to be seen by all based solely upon the metaphorical sparks erupting between the two time-divergent princesses. "Foolish little girl playing at being a Servant, doomed to betrayal and heartbreak. You should sit down and drink your milk while the _adults_ talk."

Medea Lily's grinding of teeth was loud enough to make me wince. "I may _look_ young, but you don't have the right to look down on me after everything you did! No, what we _both did._ I have had just the same experiences as you, _you old hag!_ "

"Alright, alright, we get it already!" Rin slammed a fist down on the table. "You're both witches and both bitches. Now, can we get down to business?"

For a moment, I was certain that the Caster's wouldn't back down- and that perhaps this would degrade into an actual fist fight. But then my Medea glanced over at me, and her gave narrowed. Then, very deliberately, she looked away from her older self and gave a dismissive 'harumph'.

Older Medea was left clenching her fists in anger- but she too turned away. _"I suppose it's just a quirk of the Nasuverse."_ I thought to myself. _"If you ever meet a future/past version of yourself, you are all but certain to hate their guts."_

"To business, then." Kirei gestured to a collection of open seats. Hesitantly, I pulled up a chair for myself. Lancer and Caster pulled up chairs too, while Berserker all but draped herself over me to try and share the chair- she would serve as a meat shield in the worst-case scenario, so for the sake of 'protection' I wasn't quite willing to physically kick her of my chair. Meanwhile, Boudica and Lily stood guard at either side of my chair- vigilant guardians that they were.

"To business." I put my best A-Game face on. "Now, Medea the Elder, you are a dirty stinking backstabber, so I just want to check we're on the same page."

Caster of Blue simply nodded her head. "You know?"

"Medea _is_ you." I said. "So, first things first, I want your Master to issue that all important Command Seal."

"But we haven't even signed any contracts yet." She replied, going through the hoops of conversation even though she knew and I knew that the Geass contract was like words in the wind- worthless.

"No use signing anything when you have the power to nullify each and every agreement I myself may bind myself to." I pointed out. "So, since the deal included _every_ Master wasting a Command Seal to help enforce the contract, you, Caster, will have a different order."

"… and the order?" Kuzuki spoke up for the first time, giving me a dead look that promised only oblivion.

"The order is as such: 'You are FORBIDDEN from using your Noble Phantasm -Rule Breaker- until Japanese sunrise'." That was the best worded command Medea Lily could give me- prohibit the use of the Noble Phantasm for a limited time period to ensure the power of the order. If we're lucky, that should bind her thoroughly.

"You would weaken me so much in combat?"

"Bitch, I'm providing five Servants for the battle. FIVE. If we need you to _actually_ use that fucking thing, then we're boned already. And I will not bend on that one. Either that order is given right here and now, or I WILL march my Servants out that door and leave you to rot. Or we'll, y'know, burn your house down or something."

"Non-negotiable?" Rin confirmed, an air of dejection visible as she already knew my answer.

"Non-negotiable." My Caster agreed.

A quiet, tense moment as Kuzuki looked to his Servant… before she eventually gave an undeniable nod. She didn't like it- she didn't like it all. But I didn't care about that. She was too much of a threat. Without that order there would be no force on Earth that would make me work with her, and she knew it.

"Caster, by the power of my Command Seal, _**you are forbidden from using your Noble Phantasm- Rule Breaker- until Japanese sunrise.**_ " And so it was done- the leash was slipped onto Medea's neck. She may find a way to slip free, but for now, I was at least willing to continue.

"Next up, the Geass contracts." I cracked my knuckles- this would be the meat of this meeting. Here, Medea Lily and Scathach took point as the plain Geass papers were brought to the table by Saber of Red, while on the side of Blue Rin and Older!Medea handled their side of things.

It took a good half hour of arguing and countless edits on scrap paper before we reached a pair of contracts we were happy with- one for me, and one for every Blue Master to sign. It was a long and difficult battle to remove every loophole my Servants could find, but the final product was one that I was happy with- even if the parchment was filled to the brim with legalese. To summarise the contents: the Blue contract prohibited all attempts to break the contract, violate the terms of our alliance written down upon it and prevented them from knowingly causing direct or indirect harm to the Grey Team- with only a collection of linked clauses added in at the behest of Rin to allow for self-defence or the act of the Grey Team violating the terms, and a final section to enforce a three day ceasefire once the night ends. Meanwhile, my contract was smaller- and mostly contained the agreements to keep to the terms of the written alliance, enforce the ceasefire and the prevention of unwarranted harm to the Blue Team.

"And so, an alliance is formalised." Kotomine stated formally, after the contracts were handed out and signed by all Masters (Including that damned munchkin, Medea).

"Not yet. Now, it's time for the rest of your Command Seals." I reminded them. "The order will be as such: 'you shall follow the terms of the alliance as defined upon the Geass contract'. And yes, that includes you too Caster- you have a Servant too."

Another round of Command Seals wasted by the Blue Team. "Are you happy yet!?" Rin demanded. "Have your wishes been satisfied enough yet?"

"They have." I agreed, rolling up my contract on the table and slipping it into my blazer pocket- for I was still wearing the uniform of Homurahara Academy despite my lack of attendance there. I wasn't happy- not by a long shot. But this was the best I could hope to get. "You have yourselves the alliance you so desperately asked for. Now, we go to War…"


	25. Chapter 21

**AN- whoo boy. Once upon a time, I said I would release this chapter in January.**

 ***insert the Spongebob meme here- 8 months later***

 **So yeah. That didn't happen. For a lot of reasons. Like, a lot. As in January was the worst month for writing for me ever- with enough drama to fill a post on its own. And then I went back to uni and kinda put writing on the backburner to finish off my final year strong. And then I had to graduate. Then I moved. Then we had mice. Then a lot of drama happened. Then I had writers block due to having actually played FGO and realising just how many things could have been done with this fic…**

 **And then (now, rather), I'm actually starting my full-time job.**

 **It's been a VERY long journey to release this. And I'm honestly not happy with it, but fuck it, at least its released. I intend to finish this eventually, and it IS attainable, seeing as I'm about at the 40% mark.**

 **Hopefully next chapter should be out sooner.**

 **Recap: James summons his sixth Servant, Mata Hari Is Actually Useful and scopes out the Red Team via Gilgamesh intervention and Grey Team enters into an alliance with the Blue Team to assault the temple.**

 **Chapter 21**

It was a tense moment for all of us, when the actual battle began. Our groups agreed to remain separate to prevent an enemy Assassin or Archer from spotting our alliance- so the Blue Team headed off first to make the first strike- while we were close enough to be able to spot the action and add our own forces when the way to the temple was clear.

And then, through the eyes of Medea, I saw the Blues began their swift assault upon the temple guardians.

Lancer of Blue had slunk in from the shadows like a rabid beast with his leash finally removed, and with a loud roar of approval he sprinted for the gates like a madman- while behind him EMIYA followed behind with a barrage of arrows, and Caesar kept pace beside them. He didn't seem _too_ concerned with attacking his own allies, anyhow. Then, bringing up the rear were the Masters. Rin, Kotomine and Older!Medea- with Kozuki just ahead in case any combatants made for the weak parts of the alliance.

And there, at the gates, Medea projected the image of the Servants whom manifested to halt their progress. A loud roar accompanied the monstrous form of Berserker of Red as he manifested before Lancer of Blue. Human shaped, bare chested, a horned helmet obscuring his face which didn't prevent his ash like hair from escaping out the back. Berserker was clutching an axe which was immediately swinging at Lancer's neck, which was blocked just as easily. Cu Chulainn just as easily handled the broadsword that the second Servant attempted to use- held by a white-haired man garbed in a trenchcoat. _"That's Assassin, I'd reckon."_

Then, a final combatant stepped forwards to help apply more pressure and keep Lancer away from the temple. The enemy Lancer of Red- Hector. He opened his mouth to speak, saying something I couldn't hear due to the absence of sound that Medea was providing, and then there was a massive flare of power.

"Master, it's an activation of a Noble Phantasm." It was bad enough that I could feel it from here, as the ground all around the temple trembled as I caught a brief glimpse of glowing walls rising from the floor in indescribable patterns, then the structure rose up and encompassed every combatant. Then, the walls vanished as quickly as they appeared- leaving the mountain steps completely bare.

" _What the fuck?"_ I wondered to myself- everyone was gone.

"I should have guessed. Asterios… otherwise known as the Minotaur." Medea spoke softly. The minotaur… and with him his Labyrinth. "I'm glad we don't need to fight him. I don't think that even with my magic that I would be able to navigate the Labyrinth. It has more mystical weight than anything I can pull out at short notice."

"Focus on the fight at hand." Scathach said pointedly, manifesting her twin spears. Menacing and crimson- they were all but identical the Gae Bolg. Considering in mythology my Lancer was the one to give the damned murder spear to Cu Chulainn it didn't surprise me that Lancer possessed a copy (well, copies) too.

"Right, are we all ready to go?" Rider asked, a resolute tone in her voice.

A round of nods, so Rider summoned her chariot and we all mounted it- the vehicle itself expanding slightly to accommodate so many riders. The way to the temple was clear and we intended to ride straight in.

Then with a rush of speed, we moved off. Faster than ever before, Rider drove her mount with more intensity than I'd ever experienced before. What was once a distant temple was now startlingly close by- and then I blinked and we were halfway up the stairs. A deep breath, and we'd plunged straight through the gates. A Servant had taken a defensive position there- no doubt awaiting to see the results of the Labyrinth when the Noble Phantasm ended- Caster only narrowly avoided getting run over by our arrival by a movement spell of some kind.

Our ride skidded to a halt right in the middle of the temple grounds, stopping briefly for several of our numbers to leap off, weapons ready.

"An alliance? How audacious?" A scathing voice rung out across the temple. "But if the Grey Team wishes to take advantage of the Blue Teams assault, then they'd best be ready for death."

That's when the explosions started.

XXXXXXXXXX

Asterios' mind was taken back to those endless years of skulking in the darkness, of hunting and screams and terror, of those that had tried to kill him and those that he had been destined to kill. And he that had in turn been destined to slay the monster that he was. It wasn't hard to do so- in many ways, Asterios was always thinking of the darkness, despite seeking the sun.

And here he was once more, power thrumming in his veins from his Master, with his Noble Phantasm Chaos Labyrinthos trapping new victims.

He didn't want to kill them, but they'd come to kill _him_ , and his Master had asked him to do it. Familiar habits, familiar situations.

He could smell them. The Servants Master told him were friends, and all the others. The invaders. All of them were scattered in the depths, Servants separated from Masters, wandering aimlessly. He could feel the Labyrinth at work, twisting and changing and actively guiding them. They would have no luck navigating, and no luck escaping. But the labyrinth seeks conflict. Blood would be spilled. They'd find each other, if not the exit.

Asterios found himself roaring. His first prey approached. He'd kill them quickly, them move onto the next one. Six kills, right? And then…

"Finally, a fight." A blue clad figure stepped from around the corner. A rune held in one hand, projecting excessive light into the wide passageway, with a spear twirling in his other hand. "This war has been far too boring so far. So, hows'about we throw down, eh, beastie?"

Beast. Yes. Monster. He was Asterios to himself and his beautiful Master, but to others...

"Kill." Asterios growled, clutched his weapon tighter, then charged.

"Excellent! Give this everything you have!" Lancer responded with equal relish and bloodlust, rushing forwards to meet him.

XXXXXXXXXX

Elsewhere within the maze, a rather unusual fight was occurring.

Assassin of Red, Sanson, was on the defensive. And not even against a Servant.

The hard-faced man in a suit he was facing… if not for his high Luck, Sanson would have fallen within the first few seconds of battle.

When Assassin had found an enemy Master in the twisting passageways and not a Servant, he'd fully intended to let the man live. Force him to use his Command Seal to kill his own Servant, yes, but never kill. This war was messy enough even as it was, so he could at least do his duty in the least bloody manner possible.

Now, if only the enemy Master didn't defy all expectations.

A hand aimed for the jugular, a chop from an implausible angle towards the armpit, a lunge towards the weakest point on the spinal cord, an iron like strike at the liver… each and every blow would be fatal if it collided. His Human Anatomy Study skill clearly told Assassin that each and every strike was fatal, that the man before him was arguably just as used to killing as he was, and mayhaps… he was even better than him at it.

By all rights, this was impossible. A modern human this good at killing, albeit from the bloody angle of assassination as opposed to his clinical ability as an executioner… even with Magecraft boosting his abilities, this was surprising.

Assassin was forced to fall back under the barrage, his extra reach from his claymore being of no use to him here.

Sanson frowned. "Just who are you anyway?"

"Nothing more than a decayed killer." He replied, slipping smoothly into the next stance of his style.

"Surrender. You don't need to die today."

"I could say the same to you." Well, Assassin didn't find the Master to be _wrong_.

"So be it." Sanson's own stance hardened. His enemy was exceptional… but he was still only human. He excelled at swift murder, but Sanson was starting to understand. In many ways, his enemy was predictable in his unpredictability. Every strike was fatal, every blow designed to end the encounter or overwhelm the enemy to the point of failure. The death of unpredictability was understanding, and Charles-Henri Sanson understood killing.

Before, Sanson was surprised, on the defensive, with little real to desire to needlessly kill. Now, he couldn't ignore the very real threat the hollow man standing in his way possessed. He would sever his enemies head cleanly, Sanson decided. It would be the least he could do.

XXXXXXXXXX

As for Caesar? Caesar was undeniably lost.

"What I wouldn't give to be able to just demolish this whole damn monument." The Roman grumbled, walking through the tunnels. He was in no rush- he knew of the legend of the Minotaur. No point struggling to escape, when either the beast would come to him eventually or someone else would slay him. And frankly, the Saber Servant didn't rate his own chances highly should he encounter the monster.

At the very least, the longer he spent in these tunnels, the less time he spent in combat with those he once called allies. Once upon a time, Caesar had greatly respected Iskandar the Conqueror, so to be able to work with him in person…

Circumstances change, however. And for his wish to see Cleopatra and his son once more…

"War cannot be fought without blood." But if he could leave his hands just a little bit cleaner than they had been in life, well, that would be a positive.

XXXXXXXXXX

"An Archer with swords, hmmm? How very unusual." Lancer of Red noted with a playful smile after yet another round of clashes which left the pair of Chinese blades broken, and another projected in their place.

"You aren't the first Lancer to be surprised." Archer of Blue said, shrugging. This needless banter bothered him, but he wasn't one to waste an advantage, and if Lancer wished to waste time talking that was fine with him. His Master had told him that Medea had been able to contact her and had confirmed that all other Red Servants were also battling- his Master was safe for the moment in the Labyrinth, and the longer they remained within the more chance there was of the remainder Red Team members and reluctant Grey allies had of bleeding each other out.

"Still, such fragile swords only go so far. Laziness is fine if coupled with confidence, so if this is how it is… what are you waiting for?" Lancer was as sharp as his namesake. Though, considering how his enemy was the legendary Hector of the Gleaming Helmet based upon that spear he carried, this wasn't a surprise. "I see. Well, while I'd like to use my prerogative as an old man to take my time here, I probably shouldn't." Hector's golden spear gleamed as he actively prepared himself for using it.

Archer waited patiently- in a battle, one must always be ready for anything their enemy can throw at them. Understanding is what was the most fundamental part of forming a response. And unfortunately for Lancer of Red, Archer of Blue already knew everything he needed to do to counter that Noble Phantasm from the very moment he laid his eyes upon it.

Durindana, a golden bladed Noble Phantasm capable of swapping its shape between sword and spear format. Its most famous property, however, was its legend. Said to be able to pierce anything, this fact has carried on into its now ascended Noble Phantasm state. If it is thrown, and if it strikes, then no defence may prevent the damage it inflicts.

Well… no _normal_ defence.

"Time to get serious…" For a single moment, Lancer's carefree features hardened as he aimed his weapon- expecting his foe to dodge once the throw was made, and consequently preparing himself to readjust his own aim. "Target confirmed. **Durindana** , fly away!"

And then the Noble Phantasm was deployed. Hector threw his mighty spear so quickly that sparks erupted behind it as it shot forwards in the tight confines of the corridor.

Archer wasn't worried, however. After all, the one thing that could block such an attack already existed within his Unlimited Blade Works. " **Rho… Aias!** "

XXXXXXXXXX

The ground detonated. I had a brief vision of lines criss-crossing along the floor suddenly bursting into glorious light, and then the ringing sound of multiple booms rung out and I couldn't hear any more.

When I blinked away the light dancing in my line of sight, I realised that our plan was already in motion. We were completely unscathed from the trap thanks to a combination of Medea's hasty defence and Boudica's own Noble Phantasm, and already Boudica had urged her chariot onwards towards the back of the temple, to where Mata Hari had directed us. On the chariot, there was now only myself, Boudica, Scathach and Kiyohime- we'd left behind Medea and Lily.

A quick glance behind me saw that someone had gone to intercept them- the Caster I remembered primarily for setting fire to the hotel I'd been staying in. His sword was glowing and around him he was protected by a hundred fiery forms- were those fire spirits, or something more dangerous?

I had little time more to wonder about that, as another Servant was already firing upon us. The Archer of Red was stood atop one of the temple roofs and was strumming his beautiful bow, and yet what fired weren't arrows but instead something akin to blasts of compressed wind, accompanied by an almost mournful trill.

"Leave this to me." Lancer said, simply. She gave me a small smile, before leaping from the moving chariot with surprising grace while spinning her spear before her to block the arrows. Again, I had only a single moment to see how the fight began- with Lancer closing the distance quickly while batting aside numerous sonic arrows and the Archer leaping away in response, before our chariot was racing on ahead of the battle.

"Over there!" I shouted, pointing at the building in question where the Masters were meant to be hiding within. One might consider this set up suspicious, but I didn't care. The Red Team had only allowed me to go this far because _they wanted me to come to them_ , since they still had their final and arguably strongest Servant to serve as the final line of defence. Why bother having their Servants act as a remaining block to prevent us intruding further into their defences, when they could instead isolate my Servants one at a time and then hit the one supplying them with their strongest Servant?

Then again, _they didn't know that I knew_. I knew exactly how to deal with Iskandar the Conqueror. And I wanted to go for the equally squishy Masters he was protecting.

"Fool." The voice of Cornelius Alba rang out once again. Arrogant asshat. "Do it now, Rider."

Rider manifested in a blur of light, standing proud and strong as he did so. He lucked fairly unconcerned by the chariot now aimed directly at him, instead looking aside to the main building. "Hmm. Do I really need to listen to such a spineless coward?"

"You do." Waver Velvet made a brief cameo, stepping out from the protections to address his Servant. "One does not always choose who their allies are."

"But even so…"

We skidded to a stop a hundred meters or so away from him. "Sup." I said, brightly greeting them. "How goes the war? Fancy a chat?"

"Ah, now this one seems to have the right of it." The vast man beamed brightly. "It seems you wish to speak, do you not, Master of Grey!? Well, I am Iskandar the Conqueror! Before battle begins, let us parley!"

"El Meloi, control your Servant." Cornelius' voice was now more tense. His words before had been 'do it now'. But Rider was really in no real rush to begin this, nor was I. "Our enemy is at our door, and now is the time to cut him down!"

"One does not so easily control a _Servant_ , Alba." Waver sounded just a little bit amused.

"Took that one quite a bit of time to figure it out, mind you." Laughed the Rider before returning his attention to us. "So then, two pretty ladies and their Master has come to me. Blood will naturally be spilled, but before we begin, I shall ask you one thing."

"Only if I may ask you something in return." I replied, easily.

"Very well then! My question is less directed to you, young Master, and more to your guardians. I wish to conquer the world, raising allies in a glorious race to the ends of the world themselves! I may not know you, but you are Heroic Spirits none the less! Will you join me at my side!?"

Kiyohime's face turned up in disgust. "I follow only my Anchin. The thought of anyone else is repulsive."

Boudica gave me a teasing look and gave her own reply. "Well, you _aren't_ Roman, and I suppose I _could_ do with better working conditions…" I gave her arm a light slap. "Well, the boss has spoken. Seems I'm already preoccupied."

"A shame." He shook his head. "Unfortunately, due to the nature of this War, I am not 'allowed' to draw this out too long lest my Master suffer from his allies. Likewise, while my allies bleed in battle I cannot sit out. Master of Grey, what is your question?"

"This is for both you AND your Master, actually." I said, looking over to Waver and making sure he was also listening.

"Ask it quickly, then." Waver decided.

"I ordered you to do it now." Alba said via his Magecraft, his voice audibly annoyed by the delay in the execution of his 'plan'. If he'd had his way, Rider would have been fighting before a word had so much been said, which would have been bad for me.

"And Rider does as he wills." Waver gestured to the visibly smug king. "Ask."

"Rider of Red and Waver Velvet," I began, speaking loudly and clearly, looking Rider dead in the eyes. Then, I asked the single question which would absolutely win me this battle. " _Would you kindly_ turn on the Red Team and kill all your former allies?"

For a moment, the world stopped at the absolute ridiculousness of my question. It was absurd, to seriously ask that, and Riders face showed it… until the light in his eyes dulled and he shrugged as if it was the most understandable thing in the world. He grinned. "Sure. I'll do that just now."

And then the pause was broken by the massive outflow of power coming from Rider of Red as he prepared to unleash his greatest Noble Phantasm, while Waver sprinted towards Rider and away from the Reds base. " **Ionioi Hetairoi!** " invoked Rider as the world faded away in a flash of light.

By the time I opened my eyes, we were in a completely new world. The sun beat down harshly overhead, a dry wind had picked up across the infinite arid lands, while in the distance foots upon the ground could be heard. Boudica and Kiyohime were close by my side, while ahead of us stood Iskandar and his Master. And far across from us were the Red Team… and they didn't look happy.

Luvia pused her lips. "A traitor? This I didn't expect from you, El Meloi."

"Because he isn't one. Brainwashing is a bitch." I explained simply. "Oh, and while I remember, Iskandar, Waver, _would you kindly_ accept no other orders from anyone expect myself tonight?"

"Sure." Waver shrugged. "No hard feelings, but we're under new management."

One of the Masters, Reines El Meloi, had a hard look on her face. "I see. A Noble Phantasm- was it that harlot you dragged around the temple earlier?" I shut my mouth- she hit the nail on the head. When Mata Hari encountered Iskandar and Waver I felt her suck up a lot of Prana because she took a risk and activated her final trump card, the Noble Phantasm named after herself, **Mata Hari: The Girl Who Has Sunny Eyes** \- an ensnaring dance which absolutely brainwashes a target until the following sunrise. With that, Mata Hari was easily able to pick Wavers brains for everything he knew about the Red Team, as well as personally visit the base of operations. And for good measure, she even stuck a trigger command into them _just in case_. Thus, the reason for my confidence- the Red Teams final line of defence was _my_ trump card from the very start of this attack, and specifically why if I _was_ going to attack the Red Team, tonight would give me the best odds.

"I'm correct then, aren't I?" Reines concluded.

A slow clap from the asshat Cornelius Alba. "Turning our trap against us… well played."

"Sorry but not sorry. Now, kindly do your stuff Iskandar."

Rider manifested his horse and chariot and mounted it, while the sound of an army marching became louder and louder still. From all sides I could see the endless army of the conqueror marching on their former allies. Check. "Observe, my true friends. Their bodies may be ash and their stories long since told, but tonight they answer my call even still! We ride once more! Towards the ends of the earth once more! AAAALaLaLaLaLaie!"

And then the King began to storm, and his followers rode with him, all converging on the isolated Masters.

This wasn't over though- not by a long shot. "Everyone on the chariot!" Boudica argued, and we all complied, getting on, even Waver. He was a little out of place, having little to do for now, but he had his role still to play. I'd find a use for him. We rode alongside the Conqueror, easily keeping pace with him.

Reines raised a hand and confidently made an order. **"** _ **Lancer, to my side.**_ " A Command Seal is absolute, and one of the attackers against the Blue Team would naturally need to be recalled in order to defend against the three Servants coming for the Red Masters. Hector appeared in a flash of light, definitely looking worst for wear based upon the jagged cuts running along his side.

He took one long look at the situation he'd been summoned into, before sighing so prominently I could see it even across the vast distance. "Can you manage one more, my Master?"

"I have the Prana."

"Very well then." He readied his spear, making it very apparent what he was about to do.

"Time for some defensive manoeuvres!" Boudica shouted, veering to the left and accelerating hard as we swept away from Rider. Then, Hector spun around. "This time, no shield will be allowed. Target confirmed. **Durindana** , fly away!"

And then the spear was cast towards the main body of Rider of Reds army at supersonic speeds. I could _feel_ the detonation as it struck the army in the middle, exploding in a large burst of flame which decimated the ranks from the middle. _"Huh. I woulda thought that would be an Anti-Unit ability, not Anti-Army."_

Then again, considering how many Sabers had laser swords…

"Stay on target!" I reminded Boudica. She nodded.

"Who are we aiming for?" Waver asked quietly.

"Alba." I told him. Frankly, I wasn't sure if Iskandar would even succeed at killing any Masters, but I didn't really expect him to. The Red Team would be fools not to blow all their Command Seals pulling back their Servants.

"Ah. Use the chaos to strike down the 'leader' of the Red Team. Not a bad plan." Waver seemed to approve, anyhow.

" _ **Assassin, to my side.**_ " Another order was spoken amidst the chaos. That meant the woman whom spoke was Forte- and Charles Henri Sanson was entering the fray. The Executioner arrived at her side in a flash of light.

" _ **Rider, dodge!**_ " bellowed Waver, burning a Command Seal, fully expecting what I was. After all, I had gotten my information on Assassin indirectly from Waver himself.

" _ **Assassin, KILL!**_ " Forte used another Command Seal.

Two opposing orders. One to absolutely dodge, and one to absolutely kill. Sanson raised a hand. "Executing the sentence. **La Mort Espoir!** "

Here, two things occurred simultaneously. Iskandar leapt from his chariot (letting it continue moving forwards on its own), blade drawn and rocketing towards the Assassin Servant; Sanson lowered his hand. An oversized guillotine appeared overhead- it would be almost comical due to its 'overkill' nature if it didn't give off such an ominous aura.

The blade fell, and the battle between Rider and Assassin ended in a single move.

At the end of the day, that Noble Phantasm was based around killing. One check- success equals death. And it was employed by one that excelled at execution. Meanwhile, Iskandar was a ridiculously lucky soul that had been ordered to absolutely dodge this attack. To dodge death itself.

So who would come out on top? It might have been down to a flip of a coin, for all anyone knew.

But in the end, the outcome was absolute.

Boudica urged her chariot on amongst the cacophony of the world itself breaking down around us- as the Servant that had maintained the Reality Marble was no longer in this world.

"Rider…" I couldn't look Waver in the face- even while controlled by a Noble Phantasm, his mind and emotions dulled, his agony was still apparent. Anyone that said Waver didn't love his Servant in at least some way clearly had never heard the heartbreak in his voice at this one moment.

And I was the direct cause of this death.

I suppressed the feeling of guilt- after all, Waver would have killed me and my Servants without question. He chose to enter this War after all- and in War people die.

As the real world appeared once more, I saw that we had reappeared not by the building the Red Team had been hiding within but by the grand lake that served as the battlefield for the end of the Fate route in the original Visual Novel- and that everyone else had been scattered nearby too. In other words, Riders last act had been to fulfil the order I had given him previously to the best of his ability- truly turning on the Red Team by removing them all from the strongest protections they had.

Even in death, Iskandar the Conqueror was a freaking beast.

I felt out my connection with Boudica and overclocked it. I didn't care how much power it took- so long as Rider got every bit of speed possible out of her ride as possible.

Cornelius Alba barely had time to utter a single word before Boudica was cleaving off his head with her blade.

" _Summoning isn't a free action_. _"_ Alba was a typical Magus, and with that came flaws. Mages duels typically take turn, and as a Magus he is prone to less indecisive and impulsive decisions. And Alba is a damn fine Magus- and one of the hardest to face in a direct fight.

Unfortunately, Alba should have summoned his Servant the moment Rider of Red was compromised. He didn't though- seeking to preserve his Command Seals and keep two of my Servants away, and that delay cost him his life.

One of my main objectives for this attack was complete. The Red Team was bloodied. They'd lost Iskandar, one of the scariest threats to my Team in this war. And I'd gotten revenge against that _asshat_ too.

"Good work." I told Boudica. She offered me a reassuring smile but said nothing more. Treachery doesn't come easily to that woman, and I don't blame her. I'm just grateful that this hadn't led to another Shinji Incident- that she cared more for our survival and victory than that of our enemy.

 _["Master, the Blue Team is free."]_ I heard Saber speak in my mind.

 _["Hmm?"]_

 _["Whatever was keeping the Blue Team trapped broke while you were in that Reality Marble. They're back."]_ Okay, so another of the Red Team is down. Probably whoever was trapping them- what I wouldn't give to be the fly on the wall that watched that fight.

"The Blue Team is free!" I announced loudly, telling the Red Team what they were probably already being told by their own Servants via telepathy. "Retreat!" I suggested.

A quick set of looks between the other Red Team members. A decision was reached, one of them nodded, and the others followed suit.

"Do you intent to let us go freely?" Hector asked.

"I don't wanna fight right now." I agreed. "So please. Feel free to run." Run directly towards the only exit, the one where the Blue Team was probably based at. Please run, so that we may flank you from the rear, thank you.

"You should listen to the boy. After all, our fight isn't with you." A familiarly coy voice rung out. I look to where the main body of the temple was to see Medea the Elder hanging in the air casually, her Master by her side.

"What the flippity fuck are you doing here?" I asked, incredulously. Rather, why wasn't she battling the other Red Team members? Why was she _here_?

"You should have listened to my younger self better. I'm betraying you." Her statement of intent was just as casual as my own delivery to Waver and Iskandar had been, and the betrayal itself was just as quick- though to my eyes, it was as if everything was in slow motion.

Kiyohime was in motion within nanoseconds, grabbing me by the shoulder and throwing me to the floor so quickly I was sure my arm had just been dislocated- using her own body as a shield. Rider was taking a defensive stance, eyes wandering far and wide for signs of Casters betrayal. But my eyes weren't on Caster- she couldn't betray. Not easily, anyhow. My eyes were elsewhere.

On the fast-moving shadow that was already lunging for my torso. Kiyohime reacts, but far too late. The figure's arm stretches unnaturally, bleeding a malicious red light which finally alerts Boudica to his presence. She motions for her chariot to start once more, but its already too late.

I open my mouth to speak, but then a cold, clammy hand brushes across my torso almost carefully, before pulling backwards, something throbbing forming in his palm.

As I look at the skeletal mask of the Hassan of the Cursed Arm and the phantasmal copy of my heart beating in time with my own heart, only then did I finally understand the final warning Gilgamesh had given Mata Hari, and of just how wrong my perception of the Blue Teams state had been.

" _Oh yeah. There are still two more… two more_ Assassins _."_

Finally, the Assassin of Blue spoke a single word and crushed my heart, and I knew no more.


	26. Chapter 22

**AN- so. Another six months. Gone in a blink of an eye. Hot damn.**

 **I'm not going to try and apologise too much. Plain and simply, I burned out. Real Life has a had a tonne of stuff on my plate, and a multitude of reasons occurred for why I didn't work on it. A bit of RL, a bit of writers block, a lack of disinterest.**

 **For me at least, this fic was at its best when I didn't care about it. When it was purely for my amusement, with no real long term goals or plans. Just one SI, 7 Waifus and wherever the story wanted to go. Then I actually saw how many people liked this, decided I wanted to actually treat this as a proper story I wanted to finish, and properly plotted it out.**

 **And then I got bogged down by making sure everything worked, was polished, made sense and had appropriate conclusions and resolutions. So now I've decided fuck it. I'm going to try to go back to just writing what is fun and I enjoy, because at least that way this might finish.**

 **To make up for the long wait, enjoy a 7K chapter. Where a lot of planned and anticipated events occur.**

 **Last time: James used to be a Master like you. Then he took a Zabaniya to the heart.**

 **Chapter 22**

Scathach suspected something was wrong the moment that the Archer of Red faded away in a flash of light signalling the usage of a Command Seal.

She _knew_ when she felt her Master's heart stop: the connection of mana between them snap then rapidly reattach itself far weaker than before, as her own contingencies kicked in. She felt the resuscitation Runes she secretly planted on him before the battle activate – and fail.

His heart was gone.

Then the preservation and stasis runes kicked in, this time successfully.

" _He isn't lost then. Not yet."_ She had a little bit of time before the absence of Prana would start causing her body to return to the Land of Shadows. There was no time to lose. She charged towards where she knew the boy was, rapidly accelerating to try and reach him as quickly as possible. To let him die was unacceptable, both to her reputation and to that of her student.

Clang! A heavy strike from her left, one she was intimately familiar with. That was a thrust she knew well, seeing as she was the one to teach it.

"Long time no see, Teach." Cu Chulain grinned, already dodging the counter attack and launching several swift attacks of his own. "I must admit, I almost shit myself when I saw you earlier. After all, just my luck that you showed up. Surprised you even _can_ be summoned, really. Didn't want to end this war too early, y'know, and while I definitely wanted to fight you..."

"Not yet." Scathach agreed softly. "I will definitely agree to fight you later, but for now, another student needs me."

"So you've taken on another brat, eh? Your Master? He didn't look like much, but you've worked wonders before." A rune enhanced strike straight to her face, again, countered. Scathach leapt back to make some distance. "Alas, my own Master has ordered me. **Fight her until you die**. You won't be allowed to help him, I'm afraid. Not so long as _I'm_ here."

"Then I will cut you down." she concluded. It _was_ a shame, but she still had plenty of tricks she hadn't taught him, and she'd earned her title of 'God Killer'.

"You won't need to!" a new voice entered the fray, and the effeminate Chevalier D'eon lunged straight for Lancer of Blue's back, and was naturally parried. "Go on ahead! When Caster of Red fled, our Caster went ahead! I'll hold him here!"

"Thank you." Lancer smiled, already rushing away. There was _no_ time to waste.

Left behind, Saber of Grey and Lancer of Blue clashed. "D'you really think you can hold me off, pretty boy?"

They shrugged. "In combat, you should keep your eyes on the prize, on the enemy in front of you." yes, this stance, hold the blade just like so, adjust the feet by just a few angles... "and my dance will be so captivating, that I will _make you rightfully focus on me_."

This may well be their last blade dance this War. If so, so be it. They have done their duty to their Master. May Medea make it there in time...

XXXXXXXXXX

"Well, this is unfortunate." Caesar mused, looking down at the body. After all, it was very much a shame to see her like this.

Toshaka Rin had been a woman with spunk, and the kind of Master he wouldn't have minded being summoned by. She reminded him of his beloved Cleopatra.

And now she was dead, a knife planted into her torso, and her Servant nowhere to be seen.

"Perhaps I might sit this fight out." he said with some distaste, turning away from the corpse to look towards the sounds of fighting occurring by the lake.

He knew what his 'Master' had done, and it didn't settle right with him. For someone who died like he did, stabbed in the back, betrayal seemed like the worst kind of fate.

"Well, like the good Servant I am, I should go try to reinforce the others. Yes, I had best circle around to prevent them fleeing." Caesar _had_ been ordered by Medea to come quickly and help clean up the remaining Grey Servants, but it wasn't like it had been a _Command Seal_ order. And if he decided to take the long way around at a quite sedate and cautious pace...

Well, that would be quite unfortunate for the Caster of Blue, wouldn't it?

XXXXXXXXXX

Once James fell, that was when the tides turned. There was only Medea the Elder, Hassan of the Cursed Arm and the master Kozuki to contend with, but that didn't change how what was suddenly a very strong position was suddenly not.

Side by side, Berserker of Grey and Rider of Grey worked quietly and efficiently to safeguard the body, while Waver acted to support them as best he could. At the moment, that included feeding the body some alchemical potion that he carried upon his person and firing an occasional pot shot at any skeletons the Servants missed.

" **Sword of Boudica: Sword Without Promised Victory!** " announced Boudica, abandoning the pretence of safeguarding her identity. A barrage of magical pellets was released at the wall of skeletons Medea the Elder had erected and was using to safeguard her Master hidden amongst them, seeking to close the distance.

"Hyah!" Berseker followed up, swinging an arm and releasing fire so intense it was almost blue. Souichirou Kuzuki was once more forced to slip back. This was the third wave of attacks against them, wearing them down more and more each time. And yet, Medea the Elder was still content to hover in the air and wait.

Boudica knew what that treacherous witch wanted to do. She'd been warned of Rule Breaker, and had no wish to open herself up to being controlled by the Greek witch, even with the truth of the Command Seal order she'd seen.

" _There is a slim chance for us making it through this if the younger Medea appears."_ Considered Rider. _"Slim. But even if she doesn't make it to us, even if James can't be healed, I refuse to bow to HER."_

Boudica would rather fail here, than obtain victory by the traitors side. She knew that Berserker felt the same, and would rather burn up here and now before she'd accept the murderer of her Master.

"Give up." Medea finally stated. "The rest of the Blue Team will be here soon to finish you off. None of us are bound by the Geass signed before. We weren't the moment that you fought back. There will be no reinforcements for you. Surrender now-"

"And join you?" Kiyohime snarled. "Never. You tried to hurt Anchin. If I only had enough Prana..." then a Dragon would certainly have sought to render this whole land into a hellscape worthy of being absent of Anchin.

"But you don't." Medea shrugged. "Fight as long as you like, then. But it is fruitless." with that, Medea held aloft her staff, and dozens of spinning purple mandela's appeared behind her. Now she would enter the fray.

"Αερο!" the rain of light was prematurely ended as what seemed to be a compressed cone of wind struck at her defences from the left. A magical shield flared to life... and was blown through with sheer compressive force. With a look of surprise at her mangled arm, Medea began to fall.

"Stay away, you... you BITCH!" Medea the younger was here, and her normally peacefully features were racked with emotions she normally never embodied. Fear, and hate. Then, she followed up her attack with her own rain of light spells, forcing her elder self to block.

It unfortunately wasn't an offensive she could keep up on her own. Her Mana score was weaker than her older form, while her own magically offensive abilities were weaker. Factoring in the absent mana from her Master...

That didn't matter though. All she needed was an opening. Then she was through, past Medea and surging right for her Masters body.

She spotted them out of the corner of her eyes. Daggers flying straight for her vital areas. With a flood of her will, she blew them away. She didn't recognise the weapons, but she recognised that they weren't from any of the Servant's she knew.

"Another Assassin!" Boudica shouted, leaping forwards and striking at the now manifesting form of the Hassan of the Cursed Arm.

Medea the younger nodded her head in acknowledgement and went to fill in for Rider.

"Fool! Like I'll let you!" the witch of betrayal turned her attention on her younger self. Caster of Grey felt the familiar effects of the 'Atlas' spell seeking to weigh her down, and saw a flood of thunder chasing after her – Celaeno.

She had no choice but to throw up a shield of her own, which broke under the force of the attack, but which let her finally reach her goal. Her Master.

"Protect us!" she snapped at Waver and Berserker, then brought her staff to James' torso – immediately identifying the problem.

He was dead. But not quite, at the same time. She noticed the handicraft of Scathach glowing softly on his back. She couldn't even recall seeing the god slayer ever cast them. And she felt an alchemical compound in his body, seeking to preserve homeostasis. These efforts were working. Barely.

But it still wasn't enough. Medea knew this, as inherently as she knew her own Noble Phantasm. Pain Breaker reverts all wounds and burdens to before they were attained, but can do nothing to those that are 'dead', and lacking a heart is unfortunately too dead for it to work.

She tuned out the sounds of battle. She tuned it all out and focused on her craft, that which she was taught by Circe: the healing she could perform even without the Noble Phantasm she gained in death.

All she needed to do was return the semblance of life. Then, maybe, she could fix this.

She purified toxins. She replenished blood, and forced newly formed oxygen to go to the brain to stave off brain death, and sent exact currents of thunder into the body to stimulate synapses. She drew out the curse clotting the wound, formed by whatever attack caused this. Nothing. Not yet.

"Come on!" she grit her teeth, and then through sorcery alone she forced blood to flow. Yes. Her power was undeniably based upon Greek principles, and in Greek medicine, the four humours were key. Phlegm. Yellow bile. Black bile. And blood. If he did not qualify for life due to lacking a heart with which to beat, then she would do the job for him.

Thrum. Thrum. Thrum. She forced blood to circulate and seeded oxygen to the necessary blood stream, and through will alone forced his body to operate even without any heart or drive moving it.

"Please! Please work!" with trembling hands, she pressed Pain Breaker to the wound once more, and sent a silent prayer to gods she no longer believed in. " **PAIN BREAKER!** "

Mana entered the wound, then slowly but surely, she felt it accepted by the body. Before her very eyes, a heart started to form from nothing, and flesh manifested around it to fill in the wound. And like it was a cascade, the heart led to everything else reverting. Cuts were mended, bruises tended, fatigue cast aside.

Inside herself, she felt a tether to him that had previously snapped and re-tethered incorrectly rebind itself, and a fresh new surge of desperate Prana flood across her connection.

James, the Master of the Grey Team, opened his eyes.

XXXXXXXXXX

I didn't think I was going to wake up. Not after seeing Hassan of the Cursed Arm touch my torso and crush my heart.

So it was with great surprise than I found my eyes opening. The first thing I felt was wetness, as I could see that my head was resting on Medea's lap, and she was crying tears of relief. Ever old reliable Medea, no doubt single handedly being the MVP healer again and bailing my stupid ass out of trouble... (Because of course Zouken had to be a cheating cheater and summon Assassin, of course Sasaki 'dying' wasn't proof of an absence of Hassan, of course I had to miss the obvious and not take this into account!)

The second thing I felt was _fire._

" **Samadhi Through Transforming Flames!** " a blazing fire raged all around us, hot enough to instantly leave me feeling as though I was in a sauna, instantly drying off any tears. Myself, Medea Lily and Waver (almost forgot about him) were all protected by the serpentine form of a Dragon.

I was feeling empty and drained. I was still getting over the fact that holy shit, I'd almost died then, and would have undeniably fallen without Medea. But I still had a job to do. We needed to get out of here.

"Berserker, burn Caster of Blue." she was the problem here now. With all the fighting going off now, we'd likely broken the 'non-aggression' clause of our Geass contract. After all, Hassan hadn't been a apart of our contract. He'd been free to attack us at his leisure, but doing so wouldn't impact the contract. But my Servants attempts at self defence likely did.

Then, the protective warmth was gone as the delicate flower that had now revealed her true form set to the task of nuking the fuck out of my enemies.

Like a river of flame, the dragon lunged right for Caster of Blue, chasing her through the sky as she flew away.

"Are you okay?" Whispered Medea, whose lap I was still resting on.

"No." I said simply, forcing myself off and to my feet. "What's the situation?"

"Rider is fighting the Assassin. I don't know what Lancer is doing. Saber isn't here either. The contract is definitely broken now. The Red Team is definitely gone."

I tried to digest the information. "Do we need to worry about Rule Breaker?"

"Maybe. Her denial of its use isn't tied to the contract, but the Command Seal. But contracts can always be broken..."

"Command Seals an do many things." Waver chipped in this time, a serious look on his face. "Even reinforce other Seals. Perhaps a Command Seal could override another Seal, if what I presume is the topic of this 'Rule Breaker'?"

"But she should be out of them now in that case..."

He shook his head. "Command Seals can be transferred. Are you absolutely certain that she didn't 'borrow' a Seal from an ally beforehand."

Fuck. I can't prove that one of the other Masters didn't give her an extra Seal to play with. With Zouken in play, I can't even guarantee that the two haven't worked together to make new Seals, or something like that. Then there is Kotomine Kirei's excess of Seals from the previous wars...

"Considering the bounty though, she probably felt it was a worthy cost."

"... Waver. Hold the fucking phone. _What bounty?_ "

The head of the El-Meloi gave me a look of confused befuddlement. "The promise of Ruler to offer Command Seals to any that slay one of your Servants?"

She promised _what!?_

"Ah. You didn't know. My apologies." Waver shrugged. "Well, now you do. Caster of Blue likely assumed that in her betrayal she could kill enough of your Servants to offset her losses."

If I got out of this unscathed, me and Joan of Arc were going to have quite an unpleasant conversation indeed...

BOOM! To say that Kiyohime was coming down on Medea the Elder like a bombing run was an understatement of just how pissed off the Yandere looked. Half of the remaining temple was already on fire again, not even getting into the blackened grass everywhere but where I was.

"Caster, will you support?" I asked.

She frowned. "No. We left you alone for five minutes _and your heart was crushed_. Rider is fighting Assassin, but all he needs is one opening. Not even getting into what happens if _she_ gets you." Add in Souichirou the actual assassin too...

"Okay." I said. Instead I looked at the now bare flesh of my arm, where the single remaining Command Seal associated with Kiyohime rested. I wondered if it was worth spending it now, if it was worth the contract effectively breaking, just to make sure Medea the Elder went down.

I hated that my Magecraft was so weak, and that as a Master I had so little I could do. I couldn't even use either of the Runic spells I made either! Hell, considering how quickly I'd been burning through my Seals, it wasn't like I could summon Saber to aid me, while Assassin was just a liability...

I slapped a palm against my head. Right. Runes. Dumb me. "I _really_ hope she forgives me. _**Lancer, to my side**_." The construct of Mana on my shoulder burned up, signifying the first Seal from Lancer's set being exhausted.

Then, from the air in front of me manifested Lancer, spear poised to strike. She stopped, and instead turned to look at me with a look I scrutinise.

"I'm sorry." I said, plain and simply. I'd promised to never use a Command Seal, and that was an order I broke. I fully expected to suffer her wrath for that. She approached me firmly, and I fully expected at least a punch to the face.

Instead, I received a hug. I could feel the coldness of her spear against my back, but more than that, I felt the warmth of Lancer around me. She felt strong, sturdy, reliable. Then the moment was gone and she pulled away, face as stoic as ever.

"Student, this isn't your fault. Under the circumstances, you have acted as best you can. No - we will analyse your performance later. I am glad that you are relatively unharmed. Now, leave this to me." With that said, crimson particles flickered around her and she drew out a second copy of Gae Bolg.

" _Hot damn it she a badass."_ I thought with a good amount of admiration.

From behind, a horde of Dragon Tooth Warriors had regathered and were shambling towards us. I could spot Kuzuki in the crowd, waiting for his own chance. Lancer moved like lightning, thrusting through one enemy and immediately afterwards tearing apart several dozen more in an increasingly deadly game of death.

Within seconds, there were no guards surrounding Souichirou Kuzuki, whom had taken up a defensive stance. Lancer made sure to capitalise on her success, aiming right for the throat of Caster of Blue's Master.

So when I saw a crimson blur and blood spilling I full expected to see a corpse on the ground, but much to my surprise that was too much to hope. Somehow, probably through the broken as hell Reinforcement of Caster able to let him fight Saber on equal footing in some circumstances and the inherent skill of a stupidly competent assassin.

It was enough for him to escape with his life, but little more. His arm was hanging wrong and a great red gash went from shoulder to opposing waste.

Even Lancer looked a little amazed, pausing her assault. And that, was definitely a mistake.

"Lancer! Finish it!"

"Too late." Kozuki raised his hand, a reolute look on his face. I knew that look. It was that of someone who knew he wasn't going to win the next bout, but wasn't going to let that stop him. _" **Ignore your last Command Seal order.**_ "

With that said, I knew that the shit had hit the fan. All bets were off. Scathach corrected her mistake. She raised her hands, and this time she thrust not with two spears but with _seven_. Kozuki was able to bat aside the first. I think he dodged the second. The third hit not lethally. By the fourth, he was dashing forwards into the attack (perhaps aiming for a mutual KO), actively slapping the spear away with an open palm. But the others were all lethal. All of them struck as intended before he could even clear half the distance between himself and Scathach.

Kozuki Soucihirou, Master of Caster, was undeniably dead. But the damage was done.

"MASTER!" what could only be described as a wail of horror surged across the battlefield. I looked back to where Medea had been having an aerial dogfight with Kiyohime. I could see her still flying away from the Dragon, somehow being able to manoeuvrer around the fantastical beast. She was horror struck. She was open.

If ever there was a proper opening for Kiyohime to get her target, it would be now. But if ever there was a time where the reverse was true, _it was also now_.

[ _"Kiyohime! Retreat!"_ ] I ordered mentally through the tool Medea made for me. I wasn't even going to try and get her to hear my shouts.

But Kiyohime ignored me. No, she listened to me, but I just _knew_ what she was thinking. 'Anchin is too nice. Too lenient. Bitch has gotta burn'.

[ _"FUCKS SAKE! RETREAT!"_ ]Perhaps this order got through to her. Maybe, because while I couldn't read dragon body language, but it looks like she _hesitated_.

It was too late. She'd committed. Jaws of fire closed down around Medea the Elder, and it should have been the end of it. I gripped my arm, scrutinising the field, watching, waiting. If she didn't dodge, then with fire like that there should be nothing left. But if she didn't...

THERE! A flare of purple energy. Kiyohime roared, and something glowing burst from within her stomach. The dragon flailed, and I saw something akin to a circle. I gripped my Command Seal. One left. Did I need to-

Like paper in a breeze, something dark whirled through the air, manifesting from Shadows. A cloak! Caster, still down an arm, blade raised. Blade raised!

" _ **Kiyohime**_ **,** "

The blade has already pierced into her fiery hide. Upon plunging into Kiyohime, the Noble Phantasm exploded into ominous light, and I could _feel it cut_.

" **Rule Breaker.** " Caster intoned loudly enough for all to hear.

And then that connection between us, that tether of mana running between me and her

 _Snapped_.

The Dragon roared out in pain, in horror, then feel silent.

"Oh no." Medea the younger whispered. The worst possible outcome had just occurred. "We need to run."

" _ **Rider, to me!**_ " I was like a broken record at this point, chanting the same fucking orders over and over. But I needed her, and so my first Servant appeared before me. She didn't need to say anything, nor did I. My expression said all that she needed to know, and she immediately manifested her chariot, all but tossing me onto it in her haste. I felt the wind leave me as another body hit me – Waver. It felt a little bad to admit, but I just kept forgetting about the mind controlled Magus.

Even as I fell, all I could do was look up at the sky where the blazing Dragon was horribly silent, its skin writhing and flickering, before the blaze returned. Then, the Dragon looked at Caster of Blue, and finally turned its eyes upon me.

Never before had I known what it felt like to be so small. What it felt like to be before a hungry tiger and covered in steaks. And then the Dragon's mouth opened and a remarkably feminine (if distorted) voice spoke words that cut through my heart like hot iron across butter. " **YoU ArEn'T mY AnCHiN**."

"Berserker," caster of Blue said with voice like honey and poison. "Kill them all for me."

The Dragon _roared_ , and it was as if the raging fire that was Kiyohime had been doused in gasoline. Her new Master certainly had no comeuppance in fuelling her, that was for sure.

"This has gone on long enough!" I realised that while Medea had joined me in the chariot, Lancer still hadn't. No. She stood between us and the raging Phantasmal Beast, spears still wet with the blood of an enemy Master, which she planted defiantly into the ground. Unspoken, I felt her draw on a massive amount of Prana from me. It was the most any Servant had ever tried to taken at once. More than Saber's Noble Phantasm, more still than Berserker's. If they had taken buckets out of me, then Lancer was aiming for _the entire freakin' well_.

The air itself seemed to become heavy and cold as a wide ring of red mana exploded from where Lancer stood, and I realised that a light fog was leaving my mouth whenever I exhaled. The sky itself was twisting too, as if a storm was kicking off and this was the eye itself. Above us, facing the ground, manifested a stone slab.

No, it was a doorway. A gate. Intricately carved, I could even recognise what looked like Runes running across its frame. The doors trembled, as if being pushed with great force. "Beyond these gates lie only your deaths. **Gate of Skye: to the Magical Realm Brimming with Death!** "

The stone doors slid open now, effortlessly. I caught a glimpse of mountain tops and snow, cold winds and white skies, before the gateway started to _pull_. A wind so strong that I felt like the storm analogy wasn't too inaccurate. The force of it was so strong that I had to look away and grip the floor of the chariot tightly. Even then it felt like I was going to be pulled away.

"Watch. We're safe." Whispered Medea. I opened my eyes and looked back to the battlefield and saw that if I felt bad, our enemies were fucked.

The gate was positioned overhead, and it was effecting _everyone_ in the battle. Leftover Dragon Tooth Warriors were being sucked up into the gate like spiders going down a drain, while what almost looked like wings were flaring up around Caster of Blue. She wasn't being pulled in, but nor was she making any distance away form it. To the edge of the lake, I saw Assassin _glow_ and all but ignore the pull, taking this chance to slip away towards the open treeline that was only partially on-fire. Clearly, he didn't have any intention of remaining in a fight like this once all the Bullshit started to fly.

Then there was Kiyohime whom was being tugged slowly closer, but was visibly struggling against it. Movement was slow, and I knew Kiyohime. As long as her _anchin_ was in trouble, she'd never give up until the bitter, very bloody end.

The pit in my stomach was just because I was pissed that such behaviour was in the hands of the enemy, and nothing else, thank you (what self delusion, eh?).

"For fucks sake, E-Ranked Luck!" I only had a moment to blink in surprise as I heard Irish Hercules curse, before then I saw a body from further up hill be _dragged kicking and screaming_ up into the sky.

I mentally pressed F for the Lancer of Blue. Poor bastard.

He gave one last valiant attempt to escape. He was drawing Runes in the air. They glowed briefly and the winds abated and he plunged towards the ground, carving more with his lance as he fell. It almost looked like he was going to succeed... before the winds picked up once more, and with a second tug the Lancer was pulled back even harder.

There might have been a look of resignation on his face as he finally fell through the gate and out of sight.

"How much longer is this going to last!?" Shouted Rider, visibly trying to keep the chariot anchored to the ground.

"I don't know!" I shouted back. Looking to Lancer, she seemed to be concentrating intently. There was sweat upon her brow, her face was scrunched up and her eyes shut. The draw of mana from her was as strong as ever – she showed no signs of stopping.

I had a sudden horrifying thought. She would keep this up until either Medea the Elder was dragged through, the Dragon which was now our enemy was sucked in, or until she was forced to stop. "We're at a stalemate." It was just a matter of which of us broke first.

But was there anything we could do to tip the odds in our favour? If Lancer stopped her Gate, then Kiyohime would fall upon us before we could flee and burn me alive (even if the other Servants could get away). But nobody could do anything to interfere with this and tip the scales: Saber was away and had no ranged capabilities, Mata Hari's Noble Phantasm likely undeployable considering the conditions, Medea and Boudica focused on protecting me and making sure that nothing unexpected happened to me.

So nobody could tip the balance... _at the moment_.

"LANCER!" I shouted, and the god-slayer briefly opened one eye to look at me. She was paying attention. "I'm gonna do something dumb! Don't target them!"

A look of understanding before she grinned ferally and nodded her head.

"Rider, your sword." I ordered.

With some confusion she drew her blade. "Master, my projectiles won't-"

I didn't bother to explain myself. Instead, I reached out and drew my palm across it, letting crimson life essence bleed from the wound. I held my hand out over the edge of the chariot and squeezed, letting blood flow. It hurt like a bitch but I ignored it, trying to pour as much energy as I could out of the wound while still maintaining Lancer. I could feel the drain as the spell started – this may very well lead to me running on fumes for the first time since this war began.

There was no circle. I didn't have time to complete the full chant. That didn't matter. All that mattered was my will and my _power_.

"In accordance with the approach of the Holy Grail, if you abide by this feeling, this reason, then answer." I spoke firmly, voice resolute. I poured out the power, and ignored the visible crimson light dripping to the ground and not flying right into the eye of the storm. I focused on my need right now. I focused on the burning rage I felt. At the horror of almost dying today, of _actually_ dying today. I focused on all that I wanted to do, all that I could lose.

I focused on the _goddamn cucking Caster who stole my Berserker, because FUCK THAT BITCH, she was a pain in the ass but she was MY stalking pain in the ass!_

"Here is my oath. I am the one who becomes all the good of the world of the dead, I am the one who lays out all the evil of the world of the dead!" I poured it all out. All that I had. All my hopes and all my fears. All the magic I could afford and more. My body was burning up. My newly healed heart _ached_. The wind turbines that I used to visualise my powers activating were spinning so fast they were smoking.

It didn't matter. None of it. The magic was working. There was a circle, I could feel it. Large and vast, and bigger than any other I'd manifested. I needed to break the stalemate. I needed power. I needed something _new_. And what better answer was there than to attempt to summon my final Servant, even if it was too early, even if I was ill prepared, even if I was dead on my feet?

"You, seven heavens clad in three words of power, arrive from the ring of deterrence, O keeper of the balance ―――!" my cry rung out into the open air, loud and clear. It was a cry for aid. As simple as that.

My neck burned, and I felt something tug and _answer_.

For a moment I blacked out. I was on the floor, and Medea was worrying over me in her normally adorable manner.

"Did it work?" I asked.

"I don't think so." she said, looking out. "My bitchy older self tried to hit you once the circle started up, but we stopped her. Nothing has shown up though."

"Then my gamble failed. Get ready to grab Lancer. We're gonna have to run."

"I'm ready." Rider said simply.

[ _"Get ready to jump on so we can flee."_ ] I sent to Lancer. Once again, she acknowledged my words. We couldn't keep this up. My gamble hadn't paid off. We needed to leave. [ _"Saber, everything is fucked up. We're fleeing. Try to join us, but if you can't, escape yourself."_ ]

[ _"I'm glad to hear from you."_ ] They replied. [ _"My questions can wait. I shall endeavour to flee once this blasted wind has stopped."_ ]

That should take care of all the loose endings. "NOW!"

With a final, terrible groan the gates slid shut and faded away. It was a great relief to finally feel the tug of mana for maintaining that Noble Phantasm cease. I saw Lancer leap onto the chariot, and then we were off.

The chase was on.

"Don't let them get away!" Ordered a panicked Caster of Blue, firing great rays of light at us. Kiyohime was happy to comply, and the Dragon happily pursued us.

We passed the edge of the hill, went over the completely destroyed temple. All we needed to do was get past the gate and we were home free!

But Kiyohime was fast, and her Stalking skill was immense. She had no desire let us flee, and she was right behind us. Close enough to be uncomfortable. Close enough for Medea to cast a flame resistance spell on me just so my clothing wouldn't set alight.

"My, oh my!" a loud voice rung across the battlefield. Was that... Rin? I turn away from Kiyohime towards Rin to see her... standing atop the Temple gate!? But why was Rin blonde, dressed in a dark coat and wielding what looks like a fuck-tonne big bow made out of stone?

"These circumstances are certainly unusual," continued Rin. "While normally one such as I would never get involved in matters like this, for one time only, this Servant 'Archer' will interfere!" She pulled her arm back upon the bow and crimson energy formed along it. Then she released it and several crimson red spears were fired, striking Kiyohime in her side.

The Dragon fell, and amongst the ruins below I saw the fires fading away and a human body emerging once more. Kiyohime had likely overused her Noble Phantasm. She was out. But weren't done just yet. Caster of Blue was still coming for us.

"Get in or we'll leave you behind!" I yelled at Rin, or rather, Archer, as she was now announcing herself as. I had a brief glimpse of Rin floundering, her face going through several instances of embarrassment, outrage, annoyance and finally acceptance. She stepped off the edge of the edge of the temple and landed on our chariot as we passed underneath.

[ _"Saber, are you out?"_ ] I quickly asked. We'd breached the gate, but had they?

[ _"Yes. I escaped while you were drawing the attention of the Dragon. I'm watching from the treeline, and will catch up with you later."_ ]

I let out a sigh of relief. They'd got out. We'd only lost Kiyohime. I looked back towards the temple. Caster had stopped chasing us at the gate. She knew her odds were now a lot lower against us. Assassin had noped out, Lancer had been sucked up, her new asset was exhausted and out of fuel and she was without an arm.

Our eyes briefly met and something passed between us like a grudge. Unfinished business. She vowed to kill me. I'd taken her beloved Souichirou away from her. Meanwhile, she'd stabbed me in the back, albeit expectedly. More than that, she'd taken Kiyohime away. I'd vowed to leave the war with no casualties, and I didn't intend to break my word.

I _would_ be back.

"S-so, this may be a little late to say so..." Rin was standing away from me at the back of the chariot, desperately trying to appear aloof and regal even while she was desperately gripping onto the side of the vehicle for stability. "but I am the goddess Ereshikgal, the Mistress of the Nether World! Based upon circumstances, I must ask you: are you my Master?"

… hang on. Goddess? Ereshikgal? From Mesopotamian legend? From the same circle that Gilgamesh and Enkidu and their ilk come from. How the fuck did I summon a Goddess? And why does she look like Tohsaka Rin? I mean, I know Saber-faces are a thing and there is no reason why Nero and Arthur should look the same, but even so!

"O-oi! Say something already!" The self proclaimed goddess said indignantly. "Here I am answering a mere mortals prayers, and yet I get the silent treatment?"

… Right. Contract with a goddess to form. Postulate later. "Sorry, it's been a terrible day." I admitted. "I was overwhelmed by summoning a Goddess as beautiful as yourself."

Critical hit! The Rin-face acted as if she'd been nailed with a dozen arrows. Was that a flush of Tsundere I saw there upon her cheeks.

"D-don't think complimenting me will make me go easy on you, m-mortal." she sternly noted, looking away. "So?"

"Yes. I am your Master." I reaffirmed. "Welcome to the team. I have a load of questions, and I bet you have lots too, but can this wait until we get back to the base?"

"Let it not be said that I am not a benevolent goddess." she decided, and that was that.

Rider took us down to the ground level, and we awkwardly waited for awhile until Saber could catch up with us, looking better than most of us did. "Hello all," they said, approaching us. "I see that we have a new member amongst us. An unexpected summoning?"

"Something like that." I muttered.

"I recommend that we all return to your home base." Suggested Waver. "It would be tactically sound for you to rest and replan. Likewise, you'll want to do something with me so that I can be controlled once again when sunrise arrives."

"No. I really don't think that will be necessary." And so once again, someone _else_ comes from the fucking woodworks to screw up this night even further.

Earlier, I had wondered if things could possibly go worse today. Clearly, the universe still had several hand grenades to throw my way.

"Y-you!" Rin- no, Ereshikgal pointed at the new individual as he casually walked towards us, hands in his pockets, as if he was only having a casual stroll in the cool winters night.

"Gilgamesh." I croaked, finally meeting the demigod from the Fourth War that I had been so reluctant to encounter.

"It really is a shame." he explained casually, stopping some 15 meters away from us. "You _were_ quite an interesting figure to watch, Master of Grey. Tonight was quite a bloody show after all! It almost returned my hopes for an entertaining event."

"H-happy that it met your expectations, your majesty." I bowed my head, respectfully. Because I knew when to shut the fuck up, and that time was now. At full power, we'd be hard pressed to face off against this Servant. And we were NOT at our best.

Every encounter had to be treated as if it could end in disaster. We couldn't afford to make an enemy of him.

"Unfortunately, you just _had_ to push your luck with those summons of yours." He shrugged his shoulders in a 'eh, what can you do?' sort of meaning. Behind him, dozens of golden portals manifested one after the other. "Alas, if there is one thing I can suffer less in my garden than the pitiful humans that now occupy it... it is the Divine."

I gave Ereshikgal a look that clearly screamed 'what the fuck did you do!?', while she returned my look with a face of 'don't look at me!'.

[ _"Everyone, prepare for combat."_ ] I mentally ordered. Gates of Babylon was a statement. The King saw fit to descend from his spot as a spectator and take to the stands. He wouldn't do this half heartedly. [ _"If he does anything too dramatic, if he draws a key, then love of god, KILL HIM DEAD. I don't care if it kills you! If he pulls out Ea, then_ everything _is over!"_ ]

"I once promised to kill Ishtar, if ever she showed her face to me again." announced Gilgamesh.

"Your majesty, this is Ereshikgal, not Ishtar." Sure, the _latter apparently_ killed his best friend in mythology, but what had the former done to him? I didn't even really know of her legends besides the domain she apparently ruled over!

"Indeed," he replied rather pleasantly, nodding his head. "but she is almost as bad. The Queen of the Great Below and the Heavenly Mistress Ishtar are sibling deities, are they not – two sides of the same coin, to use a modern expression. Where one goes, so too does the others influence stretch."

Countless blades poked their sharp pointy ends through the various portals leading to his vast treasury. "I am afraid to say this, foolish child, but your your Fate was sealed the moment that goddess breathed the same air as myself. Your war ends here. Now. With me."

 **AN- so yeah. Lancer is out of the count, Rin died off screen, Caster of Blue's Master is dead, the elusive Archer has been finally summoned, the 'James dying' plot thread has been reasonably sorted out, Gilgamesh is entering the fray and Kiyohime has NSFW'd by Caster. So lots of fun.**

 **As for Archer, I was originally going to go with Ishtar, but Eresh is best goddess. Fight me. (Forgive me my first 5 star, Big Sis Wrestling Goddess, but look into your heart! You know it to be true!). So this Eresh is rather different to her FGO counterpart, and is in a different Class to match. I will likely reveal her stats at some point in the future, but let's just say she is an anti-Divinity Servant.**

 **So until next time (which should hopefully be much sooner!), Undying Soul out.**


	27. Chapter 23

**AN- what's this? An update? So soon? How can this be?**

 **Heresy. Dark sorcery** **. It is the only answer. In truth, I won a Holy Grail War, and I wished to finish this story. The Grail said 'I dunno, sounds rather unfeasible', and so all we got was this chapter.**

Also, small edit necessary. Apologies if you got a message twice

 **Enjoy? And please remember to check out the Tv Tropes page that really needs filling in? Pretty please, with a cherry on top?**

 **Chapter 23**

 _Countless blades poked their sharp pointy ends through the various portals leading to his vast treasury. "I am afraid to say this, foolish child, but your your Fate was sealed the moment that goddess breathed the same air as myself. Your war ends here. Now. With me."_

Now, I'd been in some shitty situations. Some REALLY shitty situations. Hell, nine out of ten of them were in this war, in fact.

And then there was this level of bullshit.

Gilgamesh, King of Uruk, incarnated Archer Class Servant of the last war, with a Gate of Babylon poised to fire on his command. Apparently out of mercy; most definitely pissed off by the existence of a goddess I _somehow_ summoned through sheer fucking luck. (apparently BAD luck considering this outcome).

If we fought, we would undeniably die. Even with Ereshikgal and Scathach, _I_ would most certainly die. There was no changing this fact. Under these circumstances, if things came to a fight, _we were all going to die_.

So all I had to do was somehow find a way out of this mess that doesn't lead to death. Easy, right?

"So your grudge lies solely with Ereshikgal?" I asked quickly before the swords started flying. I needed to stall this out somehow! "Could this situation be resolved by removing her from the situation?"

"O-oi!" Sorry Rinface!Ereshikgal. Had to give it a shot. I'd feel terrible about it, but I'd likely do it too.

"At this point, as amusing as it would be to have you personally gut your own ally, no."

"Eh. Can't blame a guy for trying." I tried to play it off, coolly, while inside I was anything but calm.

[ _"Student, you need to be very careful right now. Not even I can safeguard you with certainty."_ ] Warned Scathach. I respected that warning, I really did. Heck, I didn't NEED to be told that I needed to be careful, no more than a man midway though a 50 ft fall needs to be told that the landing is gonna be a killer. But I was also tired, pissed off, and really aware of just how precarious our situation was.

Important fact was that we weren't dead _yet_ , and that Gilgamesh was apparently happy to let me talk.

"Welp, in that case then, we're all pretty fucked." I tried to be as lackadaisical as I could be. Uncaring, casual, really. Can I be direct in this? "Is there any way of us leaving this mess with most of our heads intact?"

Giglamesh laughed. "Of course not. Though, I certainly see where this is going. Please, go ahead! Try to persuade this king to change his mind, and perhaps I may stay my hand!"

"In that case, I will." I bowed my head respectfully, then sent a generic catch all messages to all my Servants before I did the stupidest thing that I had ever _dreamed_ of doing. [ _"Guys, I'mma gonna do a dumb. Don't interrupt me. Blend into the background, so all his focus is on me. Then, prepare for the worst."_ ]

"Honestly, I'm _surprised_ you're doing this." I began my pitch, the beginnings of a smile on my face. "After all... _you'd have to be a fucking idiot to think that this was anything but a ridiculously terrible decision._ "

Never before had I seen a face shift so drastically in so short a time. An open face, inviting and amused – now straight and scowled. A button had been pressed. A line cross.

"You dare?" his voice was quiet, the warning implicit, the consequences real and serious. Before a face like that, I wanted to curl up in a ball and plead for mercy. I wasn't going to though. I wasn't done yet.

"If I'm gonna die anyway, then what do I have to fear?" I bluffed. "So yeah. Gilgamesh, you are being a fucking, short-sighted idiot."

He clapped his hands together in satisfaction and the number of portals leading to the Gates of Babylon _tripled_. "Before, it was a matter of business. Can't have such filth polluting my garden. Now though, this shall be a _pleasure_."

"Go for it!" I threw my arms wide, stepping forwards. "Do it! Don't let your dreams be memes! _DO IT!_ "

And then, for a second, I thought he would. But he didn't. The swords poked out, his hands were trembling in rage, but he didn't act. He was going to let me finish digging my own grave before he buried me in it.

"You are being an idiot..." I began, cautiously, now trying to explain my insult. "because if you kill me, then this war becomes REALLY boring. I mean really, have you seen the direction this is going? If you step back and look at this whole mess from a narrative direction, it all makes so much more sense!"

I cleared my throat, putting on my best 'announcers' voice. "A mysterious Master with unknown origins and motivations - gatecrashes the final Holy Grail War! With powers unknown he summons his own Servants, subverts the rules of the ritual, and forces an Apocrypha scenario. He shanks his way through the competition, suffering no causalities, emerges only from his base to devastate his enemy, and is capable of controlling a team of seven with no difficulties what so ever, while every other Team needs _Seven_ Masters to match him. Isn't it _obvious_ Gilgamesh? If this war of yours is a source of entertainment, little more than a play to watch and pass the time... _then I am the main antagonist!_ "

 _That_ , was the argument I was going with. Not a moral one. I couldn't appeal to that. I had nothing to give him that he didn't already possess. The only appeal I could make was to his boredom. Because I made things _interesting_.

"The original seven Servants and Masters was pretty damn boring. Generic af. Just by _being here_ , we have 15 more Servants and 7 more Masters! In sheer quantity of new content, that is a lot! My existence forces the other groups into teams to oppose me. Thus causing interactions that wouldn't normally happen. Oh so much lovely drama. And do you know what happens if you kill me?"

Here, I leaned forwards, almost conspiratorially. "Everything falls apart. Without me, either my Servants all fade away from the absence of my mana, or maybe one or two of them survive. Then, that leaves Red VS Blue. Blue is divided, spent and in smaller parties. Red is still united. Red beats Blue. War over. Boring. Just think of the consequences of killing me! There is nothing worse in fiction than _an antagonist being killed off anticlimactically at the midway point!_ "

Gilgamesh's face was still, unchanging. His eyes betrayed none of his thoughts concerning my words. However, he chose to speak. "Continue."

He was listening. This might actually work. "Kill us, and you lose a fuck tonne of interesting viewing material. Think of all the unresolved plot threads! Saber of Red and my Boudica will never be able to have a climactic face off, not even considering the interesting dynamic between Saber of Blue and Boudica! Then there is Medea the Elder versus Medea the Younger! Heck, consider the grudge match brewing between me and Caster of Blue! Then we have Cheavalier d'Eon, whom bounces off Henri Sanson. Henri Sanson versus Scathach! This is all just off the top of my head! Fundamentally, there is just _one goddamn reason_ you should let us live.

Because I summoned _Ereshikgal_ , an absolute enemy of yours. An absolute powerhouse. The Big Fucking Gun. I am setting myself up as the final boss, not just to the other teams, _but to you too_. So don't kill me for such petty reasons, when you have so much more to gain in letting us go!"

That was my pitch. My argument. To an ordinary soul, it would be a ridiculous answer. But to Gilgamesh? To someone who considered himself untouchable and this high-stakes death tournament as popcorn flick, then an appeal to his sense of boredom is actually the best way to go!

The silence following my pitch continued for a good thirty seconds as Gilgamesh left me to sweat, his crimson eyes burning into my own, not looking away or even blinking. Finally, the moment ended, the king blinked, and seemed to have reached a decision.

Click. With a snap of his fingers, the Gates of Babylon shut off.

Had we...?

"Here." The King of Heroes spoke simply. A smaller Golden portal opened up directly in front of me, and I followed the unspoken command, holding my hands out. From within the depths of his vault, a small purple bottle slipped out and landed on my open palms. "Drink it."

I looked at it for a moment. This was a suspicious setup if ever I'd seen one. I looked up at the King. He wasn't joking. It was a command. I looked to my Servants, and the general consensus there seemed to be 'well, you sure did get yourself into this mess, eh?'. Well, if I was going to die anyway...

I twisted the top of the potion, took a sniff of something foul, then swallowed the small amount of liquid within three short gulps. It tasted of honey and vinegar, and something vaguely minty.

"That," began Gilgamesh after I finished my drink. "was a poison. One of the worst within my vault. One so deadly that not even little miss pancake over there could treat it." Said 'little miss pancake' could only offer a splutter of protest. It seems that even in deadly situations, A-Cup Angst is a serious ailment. Then, a second golden gate opened, and a small transparent vial filled with blue liquid landed upon his open hand. "And this is the antidote."

"King of Heroes, where are you going with this?" Scathach asked seriously.

"You have one week." he stated, simply, tucking the vial into his inner coat pocket. "One week to entertain me. To scheme and fight and bleed. If you wish to set yourself up to oppose me, _then feel free_. One week to fight with everything you have. When that week ends, I will come for you. There will be no running away. The poison prevents that. You will fight me with everything you have just for the chance at this antidote _, and you will fail_."

Gilgamesh, the most OP Motherfucker, turned his back on us and started to walk away. "Your death was assured from the moment you dared to speak out against your King. Your execution has merely been... delayed. In addition, I will be taking _him_." He pointed to the silent Waver beside me. Shitpots, he wasn't going to let me keep him. "I respect his King too much to allow him to be disrespected like this."

With that, the King of Heroes slowly slipped away into the night, taking along the Master I had no choice but to give to him, leaving behind five Servants and one dumbstruck Master. And there was now only one thing to do... collapse and finally let the realisation of what the fuck I'd just agreed to sink in.

"Oh my god, I was not in control of that situation!" I fell to my knees and buried my head into my lap. "Dear god, _was I not in control of that situation!_ Fucking hell, we're not dead!"

It was as if a trigger had been switched. Battle!Mode Servants quickly flip-flopped back to normal, letting the stress of the day out.

"How are we not dead!?"

"That, Master, was dumb!"

"At least we're alive."

Scathach approached me... and gently bopped me on the head. "That was a reckless negotiation tactic... albeit an effective one. Congratulations."

"Ummm... thanks, I guess?" I muttered, forehead still pressed against the floor. I was just grateful to have lived through this night.

Now, there was just one thing left to resolve. The the bomb left to slowly tick-down to detonation finally exploded. "That... is... it!" Ereshikgal yelled, stomping her foot hard enough to crack the earth. "What exactly is going on here!? More Servants than THREE Grail Wars! Too many Masters! Servant stealing! Gilgamesh of all people apparently fully incarnated! What in the Nether World was THAT negotiation! What. Is. Going. On!?"

I couldn't help it. I laughed. It started off as a slow trickle, before it doubled down and left me choking on the floor. "You know what? It is a _very_ long story."

XXXXXXXXXX

To say that Mata Hari had worried over us like a terrified Mother Hen was an understatement. By now, she'd hit Defcon-1 on the scale of mother-henning. She'd been scared senseless once she felt out bond break, and even its reconnection hadn't soothed her. Frankly, we were all a little scared. Today had been a bad one. Arguably a disastrous one. I was just glad that we were all alive (albeit one of us now working the enemy).

"Ah. So that's what's happening." Ereshikgal nodded her head in understanding, now far more outwardly majestic now that she was sitting upon a throne she'd pulled out of nowhere and had a little more understanding of the situation. We were all sat down for an emergency 'catch everyone up to date' session, drinking tea that Boudica had made for everyone. By now the tea was drunk and my throat was hurting from trying to explain everything that had happened: from the nature of this war, to my presence as a Self Insert, to the things that I knew on a meta level.

"Do you have a bit more of an understanding now?" asked Boudica kindly.

"I do." The blonde nodded her head. "I admit that half of this sounds like nonsense, but I don't sense any falsehoods here. I have seen enough evidence of oddness from this already strange summoning to believe your words."

"Thank god for small mercies." a look of mild amusement from the actual goddess.

"On the topic of oddness, your majesty, how were you summoned?" Trust Caster to use her background as a princess to try and treat the goddess with due respect while also cutting to the heart of the matter.

Ereshikgal's face narrowed. "You know, I don't fully understand myself. A goddess should not be summonablr through a system such as this; even I can fully acknowledge this. Even in a lesser state such as this, to be brought forth in a land beyond the Age of the Gods... the odds are unlikely, to be blunt."

"I have suspicions." admitted Scathach from her spot away from the main group, cupping a coffee as opposed to a tea. "Perhaps if we share our suggestions, we may be able to reach some kind of an answer."

"Hmmm..." the blonde tapped her chin thoughtfully. "The fact that you reached me is impressively enough. The only reason I even considered answering was curiosity at just how a summoning request was even able to get to me. I certainly didn't go out of my way to pave the path for my manifestation – that all occurred on your end. You even prepared a fitting vessel for me, at that."

"A vessel?" asked Mata Hari.

"Yes." Lancer answered this one. "A goddess _cannot_ be summoned. A Servant container simply cannot encompass the might of a deity. You are closer to a Pseudo-Servant, aren't you?"

"Shishou, answers please?" What the fuck is a Pseudo-Servant, and what bullshit Nasuverse property do I have to blame for its existence?

She rolled her eyes. "A Pseudo-Servant is fundamentally a deity utilising a human vessel to manifest."

"So the reason why you look like Tohsaka Rin..." is because she actually _was_ Tohsaka Rin, or at least was using Tohsaka Rin as a base. Oh my. I had an Ereshikgal zombie piloting a Tohsaka meat suit. "How much of the actual Rin is in there with you? Did you just overwrite her, or..."

"Tohsaka Rin makes up about 25 percent of me. I believe that it mostly her personality that has been integrated." Ereshikgal noted. "Typically a Pseudo-Servant should be more a fifty-fifty split, but that's what happens when you use a corpse as a vessel, you know?"

"A _corpse_? She was dead?" Rider queried. "We didn't kill her."

"Heck, I wasn't even trying to use her as a vessel to summon you." I admitted. "I was improving the summoning technique at the temple, and just hoping whoever appeared would be able to tip the balance."

"Y-you weren't even trying to summon me?" I didn't know whether to feel saddened at the look upon her face, or amused by it. Something about this Goddess just made me want to see how embarrass her more...

"This does seem to largely be an accident." admitted Scathach. "We'll leave aside the Rin issue for now. Inquiries concerning how she came to die and what happened to her Archer can occur later. We can conclude a few things though. Firstly, James' summoning method has less safeguards or restrictions than the Grail. The fact that I was called proves that. Secondly, enough circumstances exist at the temple to help explain why Ereshikgal might have been a valid target."

"And what were those? I admit I am quite curious." spoke up Saber.

The teacher listed them of one by one. "The site was a temple, and James didn't try to define a circle. He just poured out as much power as he could. He effectively used the entire temple as the confines as his circle. This is how we can say that Tohsaka Rin's corpse was used as a catalyst and ultimately a vessel for the summoning."

"I am also a goddess." Ereshikgal reminded us. "A temple is a worthy symbol for calling for aid upon those with Divinity." In my summoning, I had focused on my need for aid above all else, after all.

"Factor in my Gate of Skye, and the entire land was bathed in energy coming from the Land of Shadows."

"That _could_ serve as a catalyst for reaching my Nether World!" I couldn't help but smile. Scathach and Ereshikgal were really bouncing off of one another right now. One would suggest something and other other would fill in the details.

"There may have also been a matter of compatibility between James as a Master and you as as a Servant."

"Hmm... I'm not so sure." The goddess of the underworld admitted. "Certainly, I wouldn't be here if we weren't compatible. I feel that isn't all of it though. In terms of vessels, I feel that this body would be better fit for Ishtar, and that circumstances in the summoning twisted it towards me. The fact that the vessel was already dead may have been the final factor in myself, an Underworld Deity, appearing."

"In short," the two of them spoke together. "the odds of a summoning is actually quite high!"

"Is it odd that the two of them look like quite the kindred souls?" Rider leaned over to whisper to me, mischief in her tone.

"No. I ship 'em." I whispered back and we both laughed.

"O-oi, why do I feel like I was suddenly disrespected!" protested Rinface.

"Yes, I myself feel rather objectified." frowned Lancer.

"Ah, Lancer, you shouldn't frown like that!" Assassin all but tackle glomped the woman. "I for one think that your interactions together are adorable too, so don't feel too bad!"

"This is my life now." I groused. "Typical harem antics and shenanigans."

But with that, I suddenly remembered the one presence that _should_ be here, naturally causing problems and requiring active attempts to subdue her. Berserker should be here. It just doesn't feel right for her not to be.

"I'm going to bed." I quietly announced. Suddenly, I wasn't really in the mood for playful banter. "I'll ask only one thing before I turn in. Archer, are you willing to help me, to work with us, despite the nature of this war and your Summoning?"

Ereshikgal answered my seriousness with some of her own. She gave me as honest a smile as she could manage. "Yes. I don't have any present issues with you at the moment, so I will accept you as my M-Master."

"Thank you." I told her sincerely. "Tomorrow we can try and sort this clusterfuck out. God knows I need to visit that damned Ruler in the morning, and now we need to figure out how to deal with Caster of Blue, and what to do about Gilgamesh, and, and-"

"Shh." Saber shushed me. "Pondering on things won't help you rest. Tiredness is the only enemy you need to worry about now. Even with an actual Hassan now in play, you have no reason to fear. Your reliable Servants will protect you."

Well, there is that. "Cheers, Saber. Night all." With that, I went to the sole bed in the warehouse and threw myself under the covers, not even bothering to change. I just felt so damn _tired_. I fell asleep to warm presences around me, the amusing splutterings of a certain Tsundere goddess, and music akin to a lullaby.

I just wish that I'd had a peaceful slumber.


End file.
